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A 2332-post collection

Challenge #02397-F207: Spiced Up Encounter

One particular species has a SEVERE negative reaction to capsaicin. So, when a pirate group of them attack a ship, one human creates an air-locked cage covered in hot sauce. -- Anon Guest

"Wait, so they're level three Havenworlders? And they're trying to conquer this ship?" Human Jo seemed very confused.

"They do have superior weaponry," argued the Captain. "It is wiser to allow them to take what they want."

"Bugger that," said Human Sam. "They want trouble? We'll give 'em trouble."

Human Jo had very wicked laugh. "Captain? We're going to need to use the entire barrel of Flavour Additive 29-624."

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Challenge #02396-F206: They're Only Human

Alien: "It's only a First Contact with those.....um..... it reads here Huuuemaannts.... How bad can it go?"

Human: ... -- Anon Guest

"What level are they? Three? Three point five?"

"Four point five," said the underling. "Most of that is because of N'Oz and Australia."

"Pfft. Myths and legends. Everyone with a Deathworlder label exaggerates about their abilities. We're four point five. We can take them."

Those last eight words may well have been filed under "Famous Last Words". The underling, who

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Challenge #02395-F205: In Search of a Meaning

"Hey, Internutter, what's my story? Where am I and what am I doing here? I would really like to know." -- Anon Guest

Oh, shit. It's one of those. Every author gets them, sooner or later. The character who has to argue with everything, including their author. Fanfiction dot net used to be rife with them back in the day. The fact that it's happening now? After so much time spent honing my wordsmithery? That's embarrassing.

"Hey, I'm talking to you. Pay

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Challenge #02394-F204: Achievement Accomplished

"Why do you always have a magnifying glass?"

"I like having dumb and/or ridiculous things with me, and a magnifying glass checks both boxes. Also, it's not ALWAYS a magnifying glass." -- Anon Guest

"What? So... it's a multitool?"

"Well, there is a set of incrementally smaller screwdrivers in the handles, but that's not the point. A magnifying glass is specifically useful in weird directions and I love it. It's a solar-powered firestarter, an analysis tool, a joke prop and a

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Challenge #02393-F203: Ill Met in a Summoning Circle

I can't believe no one's asked you for this before, but a Crossover please...? -- AmberFox

[AN: Betwixt whom? I'm picking my Unlikely Heroes and Shayde because she can wind up anywhen]

They had arrived two minutes past the nick of time. The demonic cultists had succeeded in performing their ritual, summoning a being from a realm beyond their understanding. The portal was open and a humanoid figure was in the middle of resolving itself in the centre of the arcane diagram.

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Challenge #02392-F202: Legendary Orphan

What if the Human race were fantasy creatures to races we think are myths (ie elves, dwarves, kobolds etc...). -- AmberFox

The world is big, bigger than you think it is. A shire may be enough for a Halfling, but there are entire mountains and valleys that have not been traversed by one being. There are realms in which the people who live there believe that they are the only people in the world. Then they meet other people... and the world

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Challenge #02391-F201: Resisting Instinct Case Files

Creatures from earth evolved for four reasons called the "Four f's", fighting, fleeing, feeding, and fuc- fornicating. -- Anon Guest

Four fine instincts to make life continue are very important on Deathworlds like Terra. Fight or Flight are just two of them. The third -Feed- keeps the living alive and the dependent upon them alive as well. The fourth... let's call it Fornicate... continues the evolving population through preference-based selection. Deathworlds have many opportunities for fatalities, therefore the compulsion to breed is

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Challenge #02390-F200: Here There Be Dragon

"I will do it, but I will do it crying." -- Anon Guest

"You've had a bad day," said the Silver Dragon, currently disguised as an Elf, in an exhibition of galaxy-scale understatement. This, considering that Anthe had just been stepped on by an Ogre and thrown into a dragon-pit, only to be revived once in the Dragon's claws. She was now battling the instinct to genuflect in the Dragon's general direction and do whatever they bade her to do. The fact

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Challenge #02389-F199: Be Prepared

There is always an outsider. One that, although they accepted the risks of space travel, are extremely hesitant to accept any OTHER risks. -- Anon Guest

The Humans have a very apt saying: There's always one. In this case, there's always one traveller who takes certain aspects of travel way too casually... and others way too seriously.

The livesuit was one of the best ones on the market. In-suit cleansing, bio-attachments, and necessary padding in silky comfort. The manufacturers bragged that a

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Challenge #02388-F198: Nibbled to Death...

There is a myth about the Shattering. It states that the Shattering was put into motion by one human, one that had seen the future. -- Anon Guest

Five hundred years makes all the difference. For Earth, it viewed all its sundry colonies as a form of backup. Not just for the Human race, but also for the data and knowledge the colonials took with them. Surely, they reasoned, the colonists would keep such vital information about their beginning days.

Of such

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Challenge #02387-F197: Very Strange Creatures

I always believed that humans were these unstoppable beasts, until I met one of their infants. -- Anon Guest

Elsewhere Station. Here there be Humans. Seryk watched hir step. Ze only wanted to hire one human for the exploratory mission and this was one of the Edge Territory stations where they were reputed to swarm. So far, Seryk had seen numerous Edge species, but few Humans.

Those who were present were busy at other occupations. Seryk searched for hours, but found few

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Challenge #02386-F196: Please Ask

When you have an interest, you have something to enjoy in the humdrum of daily life. -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Podunk Station. Mind the legos. This is a natural result of leaving three to five Humans largely alone for long periods of time. Though their daily duties are many, Humans are naturally lazy and figured out how to streamline the humdrum necessities of daily existence... and then sought out new ways to keep busy during their non-active hours.

Fortunately, some of

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Challenge #02385-F195: How Lucky

A scientific analysis crew of aliens hire a human bodyguard. The human has a strange power over fauna, as in they become friendly/borderline domesticated like earth pets. The human is confused as it's happened in many planets/stations. Meanwhile the scientists are having trouble between making sure to get the data and making sure the human stays on as a permanent crew member. -- Anon Guest

It is a known rule of the universe that Humans will attempt to pet anything

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Challenge #02384-F194: Attitude Adjustor

There always a foul-mouthed human within every group, but when there a kid nearby, they put on a mask and they're the politest creature you ever met. -- Anon Guest

They say that people who curse a lot are more likely to be honest. If that is true, then Human Nor was the most honest being in the known universe. If they came with a censor beep, others might be mistaken for believing they were speaking in morse code. Unfortunately for those

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Challenge #02383-F193: No More Pencils...

Can we hear more about the changes in intergalactic schools? (And can two of them be the removal of perfect attendance "awards" and school lunches that even the most well behaved child can't choke down?) -- Anon Guest

The Cogniscent Rights Committee had a lot to say about Terran Standard Schooling, especially that of the pre-shattering era, relics of which can still be found in Terran colonies. Nothing it had to say about the school system was polite. They tried, but there

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