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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East 6425 posts

Challenge #01876-E052: When You Put it That Way

National delicacy, the sort of stuff diplomats have to eat and appear to enjoy. Sheep's eyeballs and truly rotten fish come to mind. -- Anon Guest

"So what is this one?" And since this was the second time the Ambassador asked this question about the foodstuff before them, they didn't want to know what it was named. They wanted to know what it was made of.

"A goose's liver, after the animal has been force-fed to the point where said liver becomes fatty and enlarged. It is then cooked with herbs and spices and then ground into a paste."

A small noise of distaste. "Kind of cruel on the goose, yes?"

Relations Guide Ambrose was ready for this. They had their data-reader out and had already looked up a picture of a goose. The tooth-like projections on the tongue were always a winner. "This is a goose, Ambassador."

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We're travelling this weekend, and all my faithful readers here will know that I do not travel well. It's a long way to Bundaberg, and we will be staying overnight.

So therefore, I will be a wreck by Monday.

If I'm driving, we will be listening to MBMBAM, pronounced, M' bimbam. And short for My Brother, My Brother, and Me another brilliantly hilarious podcast by the Brothers McElroy. They take daft questions from the interwebs and turn them into ridiculous answers. It's

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Challenge #01875-E051: Earth's Deadliest...

“Humans? We are the most dangerous animal on earth. Not shark, not bear, not anything else. Us. Other animals, they kill when they need to, and only then. Kill for food, or for protection. We kill when we think we need to, kill when we want to... It is not the same.” -- Anon Guest

Humans are dangerous. The Galactic Alliance knows this. Having seen human transmissions, both of fantasy and fact, they know that humans are indomitable, hazardous, and insane. But

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So close...

I have 1 721 Steem. One thousand, seven hundred and twenty one. I need a solid eighteen hundred to have enough steem to get enough bitcoin to change into enough money to FINALLY get my Compy fixeded.

And buy my very own laptop that's 100% mine and I never have to worry about what sacrifices to make ever again. Yay.

Or it would have been if Bitcoin's value hadn't sunk like a stone, recently.

Now I have to save up to 2K

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Challenge #01874-E050: Welcome Back

“The risk I took was calculated, but man, I’m bad at math.” -- TheDragonsFlame

It was later. The wounds had been repaired and bandaged. The fires had been extinguished. The echoes of the explosions had long since died down. And Tierl was still pissed. Because she was waiting for Jan to wake up after the flakking mess she'd made. Sure, there were upsides and downsides to loving a Lucker, and this was the one that irritated Tierl the most. Watching time

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I Need a Break

Financial, emotional, whatever. No matter what relief I need, the only break I'm ever offered is skeletal.

We're overspending. And my finances mount up to a quarter of Beloved's income. The remainder of that does not cover the bills. And to put things into perspective, I can't just go out and flip burgers. I'm forty-five. I have few marketable skills. I'm not going to be preferred over someone else who can work for less, for longer.

Should I try to re-enter the

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Challenge #01873-E049: Infestation Reformation

Picture a Fallout style after-the-bombs postapocalyptic world, but we humans are extinct. Nothing but ruined buildings, leftover wreckage, wandering mutants of assorted types, and abandoned hoards of supplies like armor, food, tools, and weapons...

Meanwhile, on the other side of reality, the stereotype sword-n-sorcery fantasy realm gets so sick and tired of goblins - stupid, obnoxious, violent, vulgar little wretches that breed like rats on speed and can bounce back from just about anything short of incineration or wholesale dismemberment - that

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I should have posted my Patreon stuff yesterday, but the distraction of being a lazy goldbrick got in my way. So I made myself post it this morning.


And I can't help thinking that I skipped a week. Can't fathom how or when that happened. Nobody talks to me about this stuff. Even MeMum has stopped bothering me about the tardy stuff.

Autumn has more or less officially begun. Translated - I have put on Jeans for the first time this

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Challenge #01872-E048: Aftermath

[Person 1 wakes up] “Ugh... what happened?”

[Person 2] “Do you want me to start before or after you started a civil war?” -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a wild party going on. But there had been a wild party going on when he passed out. The headache said it had been more than a while, but the noise level said it hadn't been that long. Hwell reached for the electrolyte solution that Ax'and'l had thoughtfully set out, and left the covered bacon

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Okay. I can do this.

Ever had one of those days when inertia feels like the better option?

I'm feeling the thrall of soft pillows and warm blankets. And maybe a big burly bloke named Bruce to straighten my spine out for a change. And his "good pal" Sven to work the knots outta my muscles.

...ah, fantasy...


What I want to do and what I must do are two different things. Despite the fact that lounging around all day and scrolling through Tumblr is way

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Challenge #01871-E047: Know When to Walk Away

Hello! I would find it immensely amusing if you would write a fic where Maxim (Girl Genius) and/or any of the Jägers run into Taako (TAZ) and strike up a conversation about hats. Your writing is great and I am highly impressed with how much you manage to write. Thanks for listening! :) -- HowShouldIKnow

Never mind how they got there. The meeting should have been brief. It should have resulted in one of them knowing something the other had to bargain

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Onwards, ever onwards.

My 2nd-hand lappy has run out of disk space. Again. None of the adjustments I've made are having an effect. I still can't get Beloved to decide which programs on there are superfluous to their needs for the thing, if any actually exist.

In nine days, I should have the Steem needed to have some bitcoins to turn into cashola to buy my very own compy and laptop.

And I STILL can't verify my gorram bank account on the transfer system as

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Challenge #01870-E046: Top Secret Womens' Business

"Prime Minister, we have little time. We must awaken Atlantis..." the tall dark-skinned woman said, crisp business suit and dark glasses lending an air of authority that even the PM felt humbled by.

"Atlantis? Like the myth of the wondrous Greek city that sunk into the sea?"

"Greek? Sank? Mere misdirecting fiction," she replied. "ATLANTIS as in the Advanced Terran Laser And Nuclear Threat Incapacitation System."

"The what? Is ... is this... thing... in Australia?"

"No, Prime Minister. It is Australia. I'll explain

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...focus? What focus?

I was having a lovely lie-in this morning and realised -hey- I should probably do that instant story thing.

Two hours later and I'm reading other people's fanfics and getting even more ideas for stories that I shouldn't be writing because I still have these other ones I'm working on and -- wow, that's a real pretty headcannon they have going there...


I guess I'd rather be fanficcing today. Or just blowing the entire day off and lounging around and not

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Challenge #01869-E045: Say What You Mean

Trades and hobbies have specialist language often the same word can mean completely different things. "Galley", a type of ship, a pre-publishing book or article, a place where Artwork is displayed. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, you have confused "galley" with "gallery" there]

From the Dictionary of Confusing Slang on the free infonet:

Face: (n)
1. Application of stage makeup for a performance (theatrical)
2. Application of makeup for business (civilian human female, pre-Shattering)
3. Painting on protective boards to make a

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