InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 7445 posts

Challenge #02385-F195: How Lucky

A scientific analysis crew of aliens hire a human bodyguard. The human has a strange power over fauna, as in they become friendly/borderline domesticated like earth pets. The human is confused as it's happened in many planets/stations. Meanwhile the scientists are having trouble between making sure to get the data and making sure the human stays on as a permanent crew member. -- Anon Guest

It is a known rule of the universe that Humans will attempt to pet anything. Humans may also attempt to tame anything that crosses their path. They're a friendly species, and spread their pack-bonding to any creature that responds to them. Many are willing to fail at the attempt.

One is more successful than most Humans. They have a knack for interacting with non-cogniscent creatures beyond that which should be logically plausible. They went by Human Stu (because they were 'cookin', they said) and spent a contracted twelve years with the crew of the Non-invasive Probe. Twelve years spent capturing, examining, and releasing every single creature the crew could find on a planet in orbit around TGD-WE4-876.

Human Stu was there to keep the scientific analysts safe from the creatures on the planet they were surveying. They chose to do so by being unbelievably friendly with every single one. Humankind were immune to any venoms and poisons on that planet, but no such venomous creatures attempted to harm them. They were friendly right back in return. It was uncanny.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 39 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Week 2

So. Making a tool to bend metal for us is harder than it looks. Big shock. I'm going to have to go out for extra matts at some point. Both Beloved and I are very, very tired of all this taking so long. The steps involved seem easy, but... they're not that easy.

A video that takes ten minutes to watch secretly hides two days of agonies. Blugh...

So Beloved is taking a day off later in the week to get these

Read more »

Challenge #02384-F194: Attitude Adjustor

There always a foul-mouthed human within every group, but when there a kid nearby, they put on a mask and they're the politest creature you ever met. -- Anon Guest

They say that people who curse a lot are more likely to be honest. If that is true, then Human Nor was the most honest being in the known universe. If they came with a censor beep, others might be mistaken for believing they were speaking in morse code. Unfortunately for those

Read more »

Uuuuuurrrrrgh...

If firkin course it didn't work out like I had pln'd. Turns out we needed mor tools, mor mats, and mor bits [not mor dakka, but it was a close call].

Sigh.

We resume faffing about later on in the AM.

If I actually get to work on anything during these wee small hours, it'll likely be more of Episode Nine of Inter-Mission.

...my soul hurts, but I still PLN on learning how to weld, and making the firkin walkways at bloody

Read more »

Challenge #02383-F193: No More Pencils...

Can we hear more about the changes in intergalactic schools? (And can two of them be the removal of perfect attendance "awards" and school lunches that even the most well behaved child can't choke down?) -- Anon Guest

The Cogniscent Rights Committee had a lot to say about Terran Standard Schooling, especially that of the pre-shattering era, relics of which can still be found in Terran colonies. Nothing it had to say about the school system was polite. They tried, but there

Read more »

Shenanigans!

Today, thanks to my numerous errands and trials, we will not be wasting half of today getting matts and tools.

Nope.

TODAY will be halfway wasted by making a tool out of the matts I fetched. Yay!

At least I'll be learning how to weld. Woot.

So this morning is going to be devoted to those episodes of Inter-Mission that I'm lagging on. By the way, you may have noticed that the link to my podcast has changed sites. That's because Soundcloud

Read more »

Challenge #02382-F192: It's Just a Hobby

Captain: "You have nothing to worry about. Our only human crewmember is one of the nicest, sweetest humans you will ever meet."

Human: "I found my knives! Now, WHO THE HEY HID THEM FROM ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!?!?" -- Anon Guest

Rule Eleven: Never go anywhere without a knife. -- Leeroy Jethro Gibbs, historical Terran hero.

Civilisation in general holds certain truths to be self-evident. Such as the ability to make and safely use sharp things as one of the stages

Read more »

I Run Around... From Town to Town...

So. Yesterday, I had to get a whole bunch of stuff so we can bend the metal mesh and thereby make the walkways. Metal-bending tools exist but the CO$T is more than we can bear. Besides, you can make your own for like $300.

I only forgot one thing - C-clamps :P

So today:

  • Clean the house
  • Write the instant
  • Get the C-clamps
  • Also acquire cream and sour cream
  • The Brat Run

So yeah. I'm a busy li'l bumblebee today. I

Read more »

Challenge #02381-F191: Viva La Revolution

The peppy one with beautiful blond hair is always in black and the one with dyed-black spiky hair is always in soft pastels. -- Anon Guest

She wore braids. Neat, tidy braids she wound into a knot of a bun in the back of her head. The only thing that changed about that 'do was the length and volume of the hair, and that was progress that was annually cut back. The rest of her choices were pretty much anything she liked

Read more »

OK now what?

I did my 3K words this week, leaving me today and tomorrow to fart around with building the kitty kondo(tm).

Thing is, we need stuff to do the thing. Bending that much metal needs a metal-bending press, which needs materials to make. Unfortunately, the design is in Beloved's head. So about all I can do is gather the mats and hope the crafting doesn't take long when Beloved returns to actually make the thing.

As I understand bending tools, you need

Read more »

Challenge #02380-F190: Tasty Trade

Alien witnesses true fear in the eyes of a band of country roughneck mercs in the form of a single raised eyebrow of the group's diminutive elderly "grandmother" figure. Grown warriors, men and women, who have charged into the maw of insanity cowed by a 98lbs octogenarian.

Pretty pretty please. -- Yup

In all the known universe, there is little that is as unlikely to be terrifying as the words, "What the diddly gosh-darn heck're you kids got goin' on in here?

Read more »

Another Imp's Ass

Kitty shelter skin: Complete(ish) with the caveat of needing to be tol to take care of the last of it.

Skillz for the next bit: nonexistent.

I know vaguely what we're doing next, but not how we're doing it next. I suspect that learning to weld will be on my itinerary at some point.

I want to do something to finish this project, but I either don't have the stuff or I don't have the skill. It's infuriating.

Fingers crossed that

Read more »

Challenge #02379-F189: For a Thousand Years

"I believe there's something good in him."

"That's childish."

"So? Children can be right too." -- Anon Guest

"We're talking about a man who has rounded up millions of people, put them into life-endangering camps when he and his cohort couldn't outright kill them, denied them basic human rights, denied them humanity, cowed the populace with both his super-loyal adherents and threats of physical and legal violence, and is one hundred percent in favour of eliminating anyone who isn't a member of

Read more »

GDI it's cold

There's something wrong about it being the coldest days of the year after the winter equinox. I can't put my finger on it, precisely, but it strikes me as the height of illogic that all the cold happens after the shortest day of the year.

I'm still journeying out in this noise to add staples and screws to the Kitty Kondo(tm) frame. My weak noodly writer muscles weren't enough to hold the staplegun above my shoulders, so Beloved kindly stapled the

Read more »

Challenge #02378-F188: Anything You Can Do...

An idea for the humans/earth is space Australia. These aliens fight with their voice. But our songs are stronger. Opera singers? They can't even fathom, they just faint. Thought you'd have fun with it! Thank you -- Anon Guest

The Karolai had thought they were masters of tactics and the ultimate weapon. None had dared oppose them for a thousand years of glory. Their empire spanned most of a galactic arm, and they kept tight control of it with sonic weaponry.

Read more »