InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 8314 posts

Challenge #02822-G265: Comedy vs Offensensitivity

"Although your jokes are funny, please never say them again.” Upon hearing this the person suddenly began to laugh, just like how he began he stop. “Never.” The person formed a cheeky grin “though Jokes usually make people laugh, some don’t. But always have the same principal: leave you different than you first started.” “Jokes are supposed to make you laugh-“ the person wave their finger in front of my face “jokes like that is like eating ice cream: eat too much the taste goes bland and my tongue goes numb”

Got the idea off this:

https://youtu.be/knIroVvPZU4 -- Anon Guest

[AN: There's also the philosophy of satire aiming solely at the people who deserve it. If you're kicking someone while they're down, then you're not funny - you're a bully]

Comedy is a funny thing, and that's not meant to be taken literally. Knowing what's funny and where is a vital skill. Telling an accidental joke will get you further than attempting to tell a joke that will not sail in the local area. Consider the exploding outhouse versus the collapsing four-poster and the fish applied vigorously to another's face.

Once you're in the greater hub of the Galactic Alliance, the guarantee of a good laugh is harder to obtain. It takes real skill to be funny without hurting someone. The target should always be the willfully ignorant, those who steal from those who need, and those who refuse to learn.

"I'd never want to try humanitarian debate with a Deregger CEO. Just don't do it. Whatever you think your sins are, this is not the punishment anyone deserves," said Comedian Vresk. If there was any obvious target, it was Dereggers. "It's like there's a conspiracy theory for every occasion. It doesn't matter if they contradict themselves, so long as they're the smartest person in the room."

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Thursday - Day Three

Hope raises for a count higher than four. It's my birthday in three days and there's not a lot of celebration available.

Cake, unsuitable food, and maybe a present. I have purchased a good gift for my Beloved because posting times and advance orders. I ungently hinted about what would be cool for my birthday and expect to be surprised. That, or taken for a shopping trip because that's how Beloved operates.

Cheesecake shop's going to firkin love us.

Muppet's been up

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Challenge #02821-G264: Caste of the Shadows

“Before I make my request I will let you know the you may get angry.” I barely said anything but the tension of the room skyrocketed. The duchess straight face slowly firmed up “go on”. Steeling my resolve “I cannot really sugarcoat it, so I will be blunt.” My gaze drifted noticing the axe next to the chair where the duchess was sitting. “Basically, I want to experiment on your daughter-“ the axe that was by her chair was now lodged in

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Wednesday - Day Two

The three little idiots who brought the last breakout into Queensland are now on trial and I have to admit that the schadenfreude is delicious. They're looking at five years' jail and $13K in fines. I hope that's each and not cumulative. The main charge is fraud since they profited from providing false documents. I'd slap on a layer of public endangerment as well, since this plague seems to be incrementally deadly.

Experts are saying that if "virgin" states/territories like Queensland

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Challenge #02820-G263: You're Adopted!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jM8dCGIm6yc -- Anon Guest

[AN: Watch it. Be amazed]

Humans may not be the only species who have weaponised music, but they are the only ones who have weaponised it so effectively. Many have known the sheer horror of thousands of Humans with their voices raised in one song. Scarier still is one Human with some impressive vocal skills.

Soprano is just one of them. The ability to project is another. Throat singing, however, is one

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Tuesday - Day One

Second Tuesday of the holidays and the magnifying glass is turning towards a specific area in Western Australia as a concerning cluster that seems to be recirculating the plague. Fun. Our last case may have come from there.

A woman in Melbourne has no idea how a tapeworm got into her brain. For real and the blaming of foreigners is right there in the article. Me? I would be looking into whether or not she's one of those weirdoes who eats 'rare'

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Challenge #02819-G262: A Ghost of Hope

✋︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♋︎❒︎♏︎ ❒︎♏︎♍︎♏︎♓︎❖︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎📪︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ❍︎♋︎⍓︎ ♌︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♏︎ ♐︎♓︎❒︎⬧︎⧫︎ □︎❒︎ ●︎♋︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⧫︎♓︎❍︎♏︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎❼︎❒︎♏︎ ♒︎♏︎♋︎❒︎ ♐︎❒︎□︎❍︎ ❍︎♏︎📬︎ ✋︎♐︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ♒︎♋︎❖︎♏︎ ⧫︎♒︎♓︎⬧︎ ⍓︎□︎◆︎ ❍︎◆︎⬧︎⧫︎ ⬥︎♋︎■︎⧫︎ ⬧︎□︎❍︎♏︎⧫︎♒︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♐︎❒︎□︎❍︎ ❍︎♏︎📬︎ 👌︎♏︎♐︎□︎❒︎♏︎ ♋︎■︎⍓︎❍︎□︎❒︎♏︎ □︎♐︎ ❍︎⍓︎ ♎︎♋︎⧫︎♋︎ ♌︎♏︎♓︎■︎♑︎ ♍︎□︎❒︎❒︎◆︎◻︎⧫︎♏︎♎︎📪︎ ❍︎♏︎♏︎⧫︎ ❍︎♏︎ ♋︎⧫︎ -- Anon Guest

[AN: Provided translation - "I︎f︎ y︎o︎u︎ a︎r︎e︎ r︎e︎c︎e︎i︎v︎i︎n︎g︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎,︎ t︎h︎i︎s︎ m︎a︎y︎ b︎e︎ t︎h︎e︎ f︎i︎r︎s︎t︎ o︎r︎ l︎a︎s︎t︎ t︎i︎m︎e︎ y︎o︎u︎’︎r︎e︎ h︎e︎a︎r︎ f︎r︎o︎m︎ m︎e︎.︎ I︎f︎ y︎o︎u︎ h︎a︎v︎e︎ t︎h︎i︎

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Monday - Day Zero

This time the import case is from Western Australia. Sigh. It keeps on keeping on, but I think the person from WA was unaware they had the plague. Unlike too many Karens going around performing potentially lethal shenanigans.

Speaking of potentially lethal:

  • After attempting trade war and threatening battle, war, and sudden death, China has realised that Australia has something they want to prevent economic collapse - it's iron. Hail to Pig Iron Bob: The Second Lot
  • Recordings have emerged that reveal
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Challenge #02818-G261: Payback's a Blessing

They bounced from station to station helping out where they could. Due to the family they were born in to, they'd inherited enough time to live more than comfortably, but they didn't want to just sit around and do nothing for the rest of their life. So, taking training in security, combat, engineering, and several other, useful, fields, they went between stations, and aboard ships, just helping out. When offered contracts and pay for their work? The answer was always the same.

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Sunday - Day Zero

All three cases found yesterday are foreign imports and already in quarantine, but it still resets my counter to zero and it still makes me stay largely at home doing buggerall with myself. Sigh.

Living with a chronic lung condition is firkin hell during times of an air-transmissable plague.

And it's sad that I just wrote that as if these were multiple occurrences. The truth is, we are just over the first wave. The second will happen when we believe we're safe

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Challenge #02817-G260: The Planet's Haunted?

The storm-damaged ship manages to land safely on a planet where resources are minimal at best. The entire crew are level one and level two haven-worlders, but they have one death-worlder aboard. An 8 year old human child. They were transporting the child to a space station as the child had recently been rescued from kidnappers who were now sitting in prison.

On this planet, not everything is what it appears. Food keeps showing up at the entryway and footsteps can be

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Saturday - Day Four

Four days without plague. Woot. Here's to ten more so I finally have the freedom to go somewhere without that mask. I'm looking forward to it, and have been looking forward to it since firkin MARCH. That feels like twenty years ago now.

Sigh.

The Muppet has publicly announced that he's going to cling to power regardless of what the polls say and it's odds evens that his nefarious minions will let him.

Society as we know it may be fucked. Bring

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Challenge #02816-G259: I'll Try to be Nice

"Nobody has to die today." -- Anon Guest

You can say a lot with small words. Wisdom comes in those with multiple uses. Five words can be a promise, a threat, a reassurance, or an absolute and utter lie. Humans use all of them at once, and pretend they knew what was the winner after the fact.

Unless the Ships' Human makes it very, very clear which one they're using, it's just better to play along. In the Case of the Valiant

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Friday - Day Three!

Day three at firkin last. I can't remember the last time we had a day three. Oof. I have three sliced loaves in the freezer, so all I'm doing is making "the bikkie" which is sourdough starter, fried gently in butter, plus olives. If the dough is extra thick, I add cream and coconut milk until it's appropriately runny and fry it for longer.

Today didn't need extra hydration.

I might have been impatient with Side A, so I'm letting it absorb

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Challenge #02815-G258: Best Instincts at Work

Some Positive Vibes and maybe a good story Prompt.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RIhUUt88ZM -- Anon Guest

Humans are not telepathic. They are -on average- not prescient. However, watching Human parentals with their young in a series of miraculous rescues causes many to suspect the Humans may be lying about this. So too do phrases like, "I can hear what you're thinking," which is a common Human expression to mean, "I am reading all your physical tells and can correctly

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