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Challenge #02047-E223: Place Your Bets

I have a lot of questions about this and I want none of them answered. -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a segment of vine in the isolation chamber. Recognisable as a section of The Glunk only by its unique hue. Spotted along it were black dots. Arranged underneath it were sections of Known Station Building Material.

There was also a betting pool board instead of algorithms on the whiteboards that were left there for those who liked to think in physical space.[1] Even the usual comic doodle had been erased from the betting pool. Instead, there were bets on teams; Asshole, Bastard, Cack, Dummins and Excreta.

"There's a ten percent increase in Team Asshole," said one of the scientists working in this particular laboratory. "Team Dummins is behind by two percent. Team Cack is bringing up the rear."

"Bets are still on the board until they spill on the no-no," another reminded them. "Come on Exxy..."

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Challenge #02046-E222: Mundane Profundity

http://avita-creator.tumblr.com/post/175729151210/theshitpostcalligrapher-mysteryseeker

For these are the hidden gems of the time known as the shitpost era of the Internet, and are now treated in our spacefaring days, as they treated their own classical texts of Shakespeare and Marlowe. -- Anon Guest

It was a cross-stitch sampler in a frame, and it had profound words carefully sewn into the underlying fabric. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. Next to

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Challenge #02045-E221: What is Owed

(Person 1): "Ok, let's get one thing straight."

(Person 2): "Yes?"

(Person 1): Straightens painting hanging on wall -- TheDragonsFlame

Thief hunkered in a corner. She didn't know what she was thinking when she saved this Mage from the brigands, but now they feared their anger. Mages were glass cannons, it was true, but they were also vengeful shits who could turn -say- a kobold Rogue into a toad or worse. And Thief had lived her entire, brief life in fear of

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Challenge #02044-E220: One Post-Near-Wipe-Experience in a Dark and Dismal Dungeon

(Person 1): You Idiot!

(Person 2): I'm sure you're right, but why? -- TheDragonsFlame

"Okay," sighed Fanrel. "From the top. We're rescuing villagers from an evil cult that's into blood sacrifices. We use out best stealth to creep up on them while they're busy with the chanting. We're all nearly in position... and then you decide to leap up, scatter marbles all over the place and yell, 'Oo ma, oo ma, I can see your nickie-nahs'."

"It disrupted the ceremony," protested Jorgax.

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Challenge #02043-E219: Through th' Crack's Mirror

Humans had lost against the Fae. The Orcs, and Fairies, Gnomes, and Centaurs, all the "mythical" creatures had banded together and drove us to near extinction. But unlike us, they weren't monsters. We had after all started the war. And the small group of survivors, stripped of magic, were sent to a reality where no natural magic existed. Banished to the fringes, that's where our stories came from, an attempt to keep the history before alive. And remember the times that the

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Challenge #02042-E218: Something's Happening Here

Love your Humans are space Orcs, especially the ones about Ozzies.

Here is one for you, How even without luck, all humans get gut feelings, warning of unseen dangers and how they can drive out decisions especially in rather precarious situations. -- Adam in Darwin

[AN: Never sweat your spelling. If I can grok your meaning, I'll correct that biz for the post. Hope you haven't gone troppo waiting for this post to happen, and have a Gaytime on me :D ]

Certain

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Challenge #02041-E217: Cautious Welcome

How would aliens with different lifespans play out alongside humanity? Can you please do an alien (instead of dog) version of this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/5wz4gy/wearelikeelvesto_dogs/

Thanks! -- Anon Guest

For generations, Thack has watched over us. He is our Human and we are his crew. He has seen us all born. He has wept as we all passed of old age at anywhere between fifteen and twenty. He has taught

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Challenge #02040-E216: Just One Thing

If it exists, there's probably a Wikipedia page about it. -- TheDragonsFlame

When the Sky People left, they left behind the Thing. It was flat, and it could bend, and it would not break. It was not food, and it was not a tool, but the Sky People had touched it a lot, so it had to be important.

Thorn poked at it the way she had seen the Sky people do. The figures that came up meant little to her, but

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Challenge #02039-E215: Ambassador Oozagoodoggieden

Sees human: avoids eye contact, walks away

Sees dog: coos and tried to get its attention -- TheDragonsFlame

Dog is Ambassador to Human.

Throx considered the daily quote and figured it had been a mistranslation of some truly wise words. Things didn't always meld that well with GalStand Simple and the message was lost in the translation.

"Good morning," said an automated voice. "Welcome to Way Out Station. Your sleeper pod has been transferred to the Decon Zone. Please wait and a

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Challenge #02038-E214: Any One Help

Your newest story about the human gut wound had me wondering. If aliens cared for their human protectors as much as we cared for them, how would they respond to a significant threat to humanity/earth that even the humans were incapable of dealing with? After all of humanities’ civilian organized humanitarian (this word is hilarious to me here) efforts, how would aliens respond when we are in need of some major help of our own? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Inspired by

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Challenge #02037-E213: Controversial Topic

Please tell us more about the “almost war” of Dog or not dog! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Callback to this post for those who don't want to crawl through my archives]

Very few Deathworlder animals are so useful and varied that they enter the Galactic scene before the cogniscents they share their homeworld with are welcomed. Even fewer are so varied that assorted cogniscent species are still attempting to define the pattern in which they fit.

Only one has a game that

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Challenge #02036-E212: One Question

A new revolution was in motion and it’s progress could not be stopped.

After all, nerds are nothing if not stubborn in their pursuit of knowledge.

They were going to enlighten (pun totally intended) this oppressed world, plant the ideas and curiosity that the new power tried so hard to exterminate. They were going to return to the world the gift Aelria gave to them when she told them “look up”.

After all, nerds never die out. They just go stealth.

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Challenge #02035-E211: The Magic Grandma

[Title: Invisible actors] You never see them normally, they often look drab and ordinary - till they open their vocal cords. (She was a little old lady, well dressed, out of place at a science fiction convention. "Close your eyes!") -- Anon Guest

[AN: Does nobody read the pinned notifications on message boards any more? ::weeps:: ]

"I've been onstage for one minute, and I can already see a host of disappointed kiddies in the groundling zone," said the charming old lady. "You

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Challenge #02034-E210: Incident During the Building of Antagulus IV

[Words you learn to dread hearing. #3.] "It seemed like a good idea at the time." -- Knitnan

Something, somewhere, was on fire. Aarblax could see the smoke curling through the air. This was, thankfully, a facility with a generous amount of atmosphere to share, so it wasn't that worrying. Yet. The Public Address system was making bizarre, intermittent noises. This meant that someone had manually disabled the alerts and the system was attempting connections through the network. Which had also been

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Challenge #02033-E209: So They Noticed

[Title: Words you learn to dread hearing. #2.]"So who's going to notice?" -- Knitnan

The little vessel was lost. Broken. Limping through a Sargasso of wrecked and abandoned vessels in the middle of nowhere. No radio. No comms. No chance of making it to civilisation as the occupants knew it. They were losing air and hope at the same rate.

"I found a vessel with compatible air," said one occupants. "With the 'locks together, we can minimise air loss for evac.

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