Amalgam Universe

A 980-post collection

Challenge #02409-F219: Escape From a Hell-Planet

It's also worth pointing out that [Name] and Considering Long Term Consequences have a distant, if cordial, pen-pal relationship. -- RecklessPrudence

It's hard to think long-term when your long-term is what other people call 'tomorrow'. Living through the day was challenge enough on the world I used to call home. Planning a week ahead was madness. If you had asked me, there and then, what my plans would be for the weekend, on the day before it... I would have stared for a handful of seconds and eventually answered, "survive".

It was a brutal world. You could say life was cheap, there, but the opposite was true. Death, you got for free. Living was the expensive part. Like most people, I went to a working school where five hours' unskilled work earned an hours' lessons in essential skills that might have me on a higher level of earning sometime. I learned just enough to bumble my way through reading the signs on the roadways and doing enough math to figure out what I could afford to buy.

Make no mistake, I'm glad I got out. Captured by pirates on the way to a debtor's prison world, and then set loose on a kinder, gentler station. The thing is... even though I don't miss: being there, the price of medicine, the risk of mass shootings, the cheap and disgusting food that always made me sick, the lack of sleep, or the constant terror... I fit there. I knew how to be a person there.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 46 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #02403-F213: Come From the Woodwork Out

“My heart feel like it gonna implode, and my body feels like shit”

“Well this is the Edge, you have been awake for 72 Terran hours, two days ago”

Fun fact if awake for more than 3 days, humans will hallucinate or so symptom of insanity. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Feeling a lot like Hudson Hawk at the end of his movie RN. Check my Hub site tomorrow for details.]

"Does... that explain why you're so... shiny?"

"You could probably explain it

Read more »

Challenge #02402-F212: Macgyvering it

You know, after seeing how humans break video games, aliens shouldn't ve so surprised by the dumb things humans think of to solve problems. Also, they should practically expect said dumb things to work. -- Anon Guest

There is a saying, If it's dumb and it works, it wasn't that dumb. It should be no surprise at all that the Humans were responsible for coining it. Humans have a song celebrating how they do, or did, 'all the dumb things'. Reports of

Read more »

Challenge #02399-F209: They Can't Have Nice Things Anymore

Aliens learn about the furry/scalie communities, which lead to both awkward and helpful situations. -- Anon Guest

"Huh. How about that?"

This surprised remark was not unexpected over morning nourishment hours, since many were prone with checking their news updates. Someone, somewhere, was bound to find out something interesting that was worthy of a similar comment. Therefore, Grux, who preferred to huddle over their morning nutrition and stimulants, said, "How about what?"

"Humans..." this delivered with a seemingly mandatory eye-roll. "There's

Read more »

Challenge #02397-F207: Spiced Up Encounter

One particular species has a SEVERE negative reaction to capsaicin. So, when a pirate group of them attack a ship, one human creates an air-locked cage covered in hot sauce. -- Anon Guest

"Wait, so they're level three Havenworlders? And they're trying to conquer this ship?" Human Jo seemed very confused.

"They do have superior weaponry," argued the Captain. "It is wiser to allow them to take what they want."

"Bugger that," said Human Sam. "They want trouble? We'll give 'em trouble.

Read more »

Challenge #02396-F206: They're Only Human

Alien: "It's only a First Contact with those.....um..... it reads here Huuuemaannts.... How bad can it go?"

Human: ... -- Anon Guest

"What level are they? Three? Three point five?"

"Four point five," said the underling. "Most of that is because of N'Oz and Australia."

"Pfft. Myths and legends. Everyone with a Deathworlder label exaggerates about their abilities. We're four point five. We can take them."

Those last eight words may well have been filed under "Famous Last Words". The underling, who

Read more »

Challenge #02394-F204: Achievement Accomplished

"Why do you always have a magnifying glass?"

"I like having dumb and/or ridiculous things with me, and a magnifying glass checks both boxes. Also, it's not ALWAYS a magnifying glass." -- Anon Guest

"What? So... it's a multitool?"

"Well, there is a set of incrementally smaller screwdrivers in the handles, but that's not the point. A magnifying glass is specifically useful in weird directions and I love it. It's a solar-powered firestarter, an analysis tool, a joke prop and a

Read more »

Challenge #02393-F203: Ill Met in a Summoning Circle

I can't believe no one's asked you for this before, but a Crossover please...? -- AmberFox

[AN: Betwixt whom? I'm picking my Unlikely Heroes and Shayde because she can wind up anywhen]

They had arrived two minutes past the nick of time. The demonic cultists had succeeded in performing their ritual, summoning a being from a realm beyond their understanding. The portal was open and a humanoid figure was in the middle of resolving itself in the centre of the arcane diagram.

Read more »

Challenge #02391-F201: Resisting Instinct Case Files

Creatures from earth evolved for four reasons called the "Four f's", fighting, fleeing, feeding, and fuc- fornicating. -- Anon Guest

Four fine instincts to make life continue are very important on Deathworlds like Terra. Fight or Flight are just two of them. The third -Feed- keeps the living alive and the dependent upon them alive as well. The fourth... let's call it Fornicate... continues the evolving population through preference-based selection. Deathworlds have many opportunities for fatalities, therefore the compulsion to breed is

Read more »

Challenge #02389-F199: Be Prepared

There is always an outsider. One that, although they accepted the risks of space travel, are extremely hesitant to accept any OTHER risks. -- Anon Guest

The Humans have a very apt saying: There's always one. In this case, there's always one traveller who takes certain aspects of travel way too casually... and others way too seriously.

The livesuit was one of the best ones on the market. In-suit cleansing, bio-attachments, and necessary padding in silky comfort. The manufacturers bragged that a

Read more »

Challenge #02388-F198: Nibbled to Death...

There is a myth about the Shattering. It states that the Shattering was put into motion by one human, one that had seen the future. -- Anon Guest

Five hundred years makes all the difference. For Earth, it viewed all its sundry colonies as a form of backup. Not just for the Human race, but also for the data and knowledge the colonials took with them. Surely, they reasoned, the colonists would keep such vital information about their beginning days.

Of such

Read more »

Challenge #02387-F197: Very Strange Creatures

I always believed that humans were these unstoppable beasts, until I met one of their infants. -- Anon Guest

Elsewhere Station. Here there be Humans. Seryk watched hir step. Ze only wanted to hire one human for the exploratory mission and this was one of the Edge Territory stations where they were reputed to swarm. So far, Seryk had seen numerous Edge species, but few Humans.

Those who were present were busy at other occupations. Seryk searched for hours, but found few

Read more »

Challenge #02386-F196: Please Ask

When you have an interest, you have something to enjoy in the humdrum of daily life. -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Podunk Station. Mind the legos. This is a natural result of leaving three to five Humans largely alone for long periods of time. Though their daily duties are many, Humans are naturally lazy and figured out how to streamline the humdrum necessities of daily existence... and then sought out new ways to keep busy during their non-active hours.

Fortunately, some of

Read more »

Challenge #02385-F195: How Lucky

A scientific analysis crew of aliens hire a human bodyguard. The human has a strange power over fauna, as in they become friendly/borderline domesticated like earth pets. The human is confused as it's happened in many planets/stations. Meanwhile the scientists are having trouble between making sure to get the data and making sure the human stays on as a permanent crew member. -- Anon Guest

It is a known rule of the universe that Humans will attempt to pet anything

Read more »

Challenge #02384-F194: Attitude Adjustor

There always a foul-mouthed human within every group, but when there a kid nearby, they put on a mask and they're the politest creature you ever met. -- Anon Guest

They say that people who curse a lot are more likely to be honest. If that is true, then Human Nor was the most honest being in the known universe. If they came with a censor beep, others might be mistaken for believing they were speaking in morse code. Unfortunately for those

Read more »