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Amalgam Universe

A 654-post collection

Challenge #01876-E052: When You Put it That Way

National delicacy, the sort of stuff diplomats have to eat and appear to enjoy. Sheep's eyeballs and truly rotten fish come to mind. -- Anon Guest

"So what is this one?" And since this was the second time the Ambassador asked this question about the foodstuff before them, they didn't want to know what it was named. They wanted to know what it was made of.

"A goose's liver, after the animal has been force-fed to the point where said liver becomes fatty and enlarged. It is then cooked with herbs and spices and then ground into a paste."

A small noise of distaste. "Kind of cruel on the goose, yes?"

Relations Guide Ambrose was ready for this. They had their data-reader out and had already looked up a picture of a goose. The tooth-like projections on the tongue were always a winner. "This is a goose, Ambassador."

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Challenge #01875-E051: Earth's Deadliest...

“Humans? We are the most dangerous animal on earth. Not shark, not bear, not anything else. Us. Other animals, they kill when they need to, and only then. Kill for food, or for protection. We kill when we think we need to, kill when we want to... It is not the same.” -- Anon Guest

Humans are dangerous. The Galactic Alliance knows this. Having seen human transmissions, both of fantasy and fact, they know that humans are indomitable, hazardous, and insane. But

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Challenge #01874-E050: Welcome Back

“The risk I took was calculated, but man, I’m bad at math.” -- TheDragonsFlame

It was later. The wounds had been repaired and bandaged. The fires had been extinguished. The echoes of the explosions had long since died down. And Tierl was still pissed. Because she was waiting for Jan to wake up after the flakking mess she'd made. Sure, there were upsides and downsides to loving a Lucker, and this was the one that irritated Tierl the most. Watching time

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Challenge #01872-E048: Aftermath

[Person 1 wakes up] “Ugh... what happened?”

[Person 2] “Do you want me to start before or after you started a civil war?” -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a wild party going on. But there had been a wild party going on when he passed out. The headache said it had been more than a while, but the noise level said it hadn't been that long. Hwell reached for the electrolyte solution that Ax'and'l had thoughtfully set out, and left the covered bacon

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Challenge #01869-E045: Say What You Mean

Trades and hobbies have specialist language often the same word can mean completely different things. "Galley", a type of ship, a pre-publishing book or article, a place where Artwork is displayed. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, you have confused "galley" with "gallery" there]

From the Dictionary of Confusing Slang on the free infonet:

Face: (n)
1. Application of stage makeup for a performance (theatrical)
2. Application of makeup for business (civilian human female, pre-Shattering)
3. Painting on protective boards to make a

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Challenge #01860-E036: Tenacity Personified

From PictureWritingPrompts - [Picture shows a cliffside town at the base of a very steep, zig-zagging road. Buildings of a small village cling to the side of slopes that are only mildly kinder than the almost sheer cliffs on either side of this town. There are a few jetties stretching into the dark water.]

A lesson must be taken from The Thaknakys Expedition. They had thought that they had found a graveworld on the other side of the newly-reopened wormhole. There was

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Challenge #01865-E041: Made to Order

does genetic engineering and other physical and mental enhancements exist in the amalgam universe? and what would humans use them for? -- Anon Guest

[AN: The short answer is: Anything they find acceptable. The long answer is... this]

The concept of the perfect being exists in every culture. On every world, there has been at least one brilliant mind who honestly believed that they could better their own kind through assorted means. Ethnic cleansing, or genocide as it is more commonly known.

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Challenge #01864-E040: Wake Up Sheeple!

The amount of energy needed to refute bulls* is an order of magnitude bigger than to produce it.

—Alberto Brandolini -- TheDragonsFlame

Here's what nobody gets about insane conspiracy theories. There is little to no energy involved in thinking them up. One person's facetious, trolling comment is another's statement of fact. One person's screwy memory is another's proof that it's all been covered up. See, the Mandela Effect, or the Berenstein Parallel Universe Theory.

We shall not mention those nefarious souls who

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Challenge #01851-E027: As Long as it Works...

Aliens trying to convince a human crew to change it's ship

[Alien] "You use century old technologies ! The new system is way more efficient and everything is automatic. No need to repair it!"

[Human 1] "And when it broke ?"

[Alien] "It can't broke !"

[Human 2] "So when it broke we just have to pray to whatever god that either another ship will pick up our distress signal or the engine restart by itself before the oxygen reserve are depleted." -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #01850-E026: Charlie, Charlie, Charlie...

"And the Darwin Award goes to..... Mr K. Sullivan from colony ZS-23 for trying to use homemade nitroglycerin instead of nitromethane. We will miss his car, an innocent Swordfish Liner." -- Anon Guest

Of all the assorted avatars of Human Insanity, the most boggling to alien minds is the Darwin Awards. A prize that can only be won posthumously, by removing oneself from the gene pool in such a way as to make it clear that this was ultimately a good thing

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Challenge #01848-E024: Walk it Off...

Human broke his arm and is upset when he saw that he lose his watch.

Human stub his toe and is crying on the floor. -- Anon Guest

In the early days of their acceptance into the Greater Galactic Alliance, there was a code. HID. Human In Distress. The greater population had yet to understand humans and, to state a point of fact, still don't. Therefore, a human in any kind of physical or mental pain was a cause for viral concern

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Challenge #01847-E023: The Only Sensible One

"We are a crew of 7 persons : 2 deathworlders, 4 havenworlders and a sentient AI. The havenworlders are the scientist and the AI is the medic. I'm the only human and the security officer. What is my problem ? Well, let me think about it... . The captain is an adrenaline junky who might send the ship in a high danger zone just for his rush, the doc is obsessed with humans, and the havenworlders are just... too curious without self-preservation instincts.... Two days

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Challenge #01846-E022: Where's the Cheevs?

Pokémon Go... in space -- TheDragonsFlame

Trends come, trends go, and some are revived, zombie like, from a place where they should have stayed buried. You can make up your minds about which ones are which. For a patch of time in the 1930's, the name Judith became incredibly popular, and was rarely that popular again. For a spate in the 1980's, every girl child was named Kylie. And pretty much since the 1980's until the current era, there has been Pokémon.

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Challenge #01845-E021: Art in All Forms

Alien walking past human's quarters hears a harsh, vaguely rhythmic sound.

Alien knocks on human's door, enters, and finds that it's audio sensory organs are assaulted by this noise, the noise is so loud it is almost painful for the Alien's ears.

Alien: "Human, what is this noise?"

Human: "This is my music, you don't like it?"

Alien: "I don't know, the volume is a bit high and it sounds rather harsh, what is this music called?"

Human: "Many humans don't like

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Challenge #01842-E018: A Place to Fit

The adventures/escapades of a Numidid raised by/among humans -- TheDragonsFlame

[AN: This continues on from this thing ]

Family is more than the people that excreted you, so goes the galactic saying. Family can be a bunch of loner weirdoes and their adopted Numidid keet called Pip. Scavenger M. DeVries and his daughter, Pip, cut quite a figure in the news, and they did so for all of forty-eight hours.

Because that was when the Galactic Alliance rediscovered a colony world

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