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Amalgam Universe

A 806-post collection

Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

I have love in me the likes of which can scarcely be imagined and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I can not satisfy one, I will indulge the other. -- Anon Guest

If there is one rule of the Universe beyond, never ask questions to which there may be a painful answer, it is this: Never Anger a Primary Parental.

Q'essoj was busy learning this. They thought that taking a Human infant from an apparently unguarded area would be a great way to have a Deathworlder bonded with them. What they hadn't known was that Human perception was greater then they thought it was. They had presumed that the Humans on this planetoid had lacked communication skills and the ability to find their camouflaged ship.

Wrong on all counts.

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Challenge #02159-E330: Understandable Precautions

A Havenworlder exploration vessel is exchanging stuff and ideas with a Terran exploration vessel. All is relaxed and going very well until one of the Terrans puts down their drinking vessel and declares the most terrifying words in all the multiverses -- "I've just had a thought!!" -- Anon Guest

Humans are Deathworlders. They have become gradually aware of this. Deathworlders and Havenworlders should not mix, but space is an unfriendly environment and sometimes you really need a big friend who is

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Challenge #02157-E328: The Melody Lingers On

few things annoy or irritate a human more than an unfinished tune or ditty...

ESPECIALLY the simplest ones, notably "a shave and a Haircut" and "Pop goes the Weasel" -- Adam in Darwin

Humans have an alarming attachment to rhythm and melody for a species so centred on sight. Many prefer to have "their tunes" in the background during work, and many more are victim to the Ice/Pressure phenomenon[1]. Humans say that music is a universal language, but even they

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Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

It wasn't that Humans were suicidal, nor are they intrinsically self absorbed.

They just understand better than even most Herd like species, that sometimes the only way to save the masses is to sacrifice the few, preferably themselves.

That doesn't mean they went quietly, or easily. -- Adam in Darwin

It only takes a moment. A split-second decision along the lines of, Here is where I stand and fight. The lucky few see it in the Human's eyes just moments before the

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Challenge #02155-E326: Alone in the Night

It was a single dot in the blackness of space. All it did was shout 'I am!' to the surrounding cold dark. -- Anon Guest

This is space - lots of it is very dark, except for the bits of it that aren't. When there is light enough to see by, one could be completely unaware of the plethora of light surrounding one, and therefore think that the blackness of the void is infinite. Technically, it is. It is also peppered

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Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

[NAME] winced slightly. "It's a dog, Major. A companion animal."

"Looks like a class 3 bio engineered weapon to me!" -- Anon Guest

The creature was huge. Even sitting down, it was almost as tall as a human. It was almost as wide as a human. Only the wagging tail distinguished it from a Terran bear. That, and the lolling tongue, dripping saliva as the animal panted. The human by its side agitated some fur by a nub that could have been

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Challenge #02153-E324: Canned Exodus

The Mom Mobile, either a titchy little car that is slightly larger than a phone booth or the massive Soccer Mom, haul anything including the whole team. -- Anon Guest

Men carry money. Women carry the world. -- Ancient Human Proverb.

Galactics can easily tell which gender secured the Human escape vessel. The tiny ones that barely fit the number of survivors and a minimal amount of survival supplies are generally procured by the males. The large and bulky ones with room

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Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

"The group was brought back to Hamburg to stand trial, where they were sentenced to death by beheading. Resigned to his death, Stortebeker struck up a bizarre deal with the mayor. His pirates would be lined up in a row when he was decapitated. The mayor promised to free as many men as Stortebeker’s headless body could walk past.

This must have seemed like a raw deal for the pirates, who had doubtlessly witnessed the effects of multiple beheadings in their

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Challenge #02151-E322: Easily Entertained

Human: ha, dogs are so easily amused. I just watched this one Chase his tail for 15 minutes straight

Alien: You spent 15 minutes watching a dog chase its tail

Human: yeah, that's what I just said

Alien: and the dog is the one whose easily amused

Human: ...yes?

Alien: (sarcastically) okay, sure that makes sense -- OohLookShiny

The list of dangerous things in the known universe had once, paradoxically, contained entries on both "quiet humans" and "laughing humans". It has since

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Challenge #02149-E320: Don't Wanna Live Underground

"Graham, there's some very large lizards down here. We should leave."

"After I've gotten these mineral samples. Anyway, it's only a lizard, what's the problem?"

"Its jaws are around my ankle." -- Anon Guest

Graham looked. This was just one among the many reasons why Planetary Survey Teams had combat-ready livesuits as part of their essential equipment. The lizard in question looked like a boa constrictor had somehow had children with a sarcosuchus and, owing to the subterranean environment, didn't have much

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Challenge #02148-E319: Mutual Flailing With Shouting

"Good news Commander, there is a settlement with enough material to repair our ship, the inhabitant seems more curious than afraid, and they are more than willing to trade the needed materials for help with theirs infrastructure. Mainly a water purifying station and a basic energy production facilities."

"Do they understand GalStand ?"

"That's the tricky part... That's a Vorax settlement..." -- Anon Guest

Can you imagine a surprise bigger than that? The Vorax have castes, and the most widely-known is the warrior

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Challenge #02145-E316: Pass the Ductape and Praise the Powers

"Well yeah, it works, but could it be better?" at this point groaning wasn't stopping the human from trying -- Anon Guest

There are two kinds of Humans, though debates abound as to which kinds those two are. In this case, though, the division is between those who say, "What the flakk, it runs," and those who say, "Yes, I know it's working perfectly fine, but what if it worked better than that?" Human Andi was one among the latter.

Like most

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Challenge #02143-E314: 'Tis the Season

The Harvest moon fills the sky

A wicked witch goes flying by

Ghosts and goblins..skeletons too.

Moaning and groaning, waiting for you

Black cats prowl the graveyard plots

Witches cook in cauldron pots

Cemetery ghouls roam the ground

Not one unopened grave is found

Tombstones are an eerie sight

Shadows dance in full moon light

The haunted house on the hill

Walk in there and you get a chill

Jack-o-lanterns eyes so bright

Trick or Treaters scream in fright

It’s

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Challenge #02142-E313: Been There, Done That

Alien: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CRASH LANDED ON YOUR HOME PLANET!?"

Human: "I mean we are on Earth, my home, somewhere in Central Africa...I think."

Alien: "We are doomed"

Human: "No we're not. Don't worry, I'll teach you everything there is to know about surviving on a Deathworld, we'll be fine." -- Anon Guest

Human Yoss clambered up the wreckage of their vessel. The bad news was that they were in the middle of flakk-off nowhere with busted comms. The

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Challenge #02139-E310: Cute, Fluffy, Deadly

The survey leader folded hir forelimbs and radiated annoyance. "It is small, furry, and completely unarmed. The worst it can do is a scratch." Insectoid faces don't easily show annoyance, but this one made a determined effort. "What are you afraid of, getting an owie on your boo-boo?" -- Anon Guest

First rule of Deathworlder animals - there is no such thing as harmless.

First Invader G'thaz was among the first to discover that to hir detriment. The creature known to the

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