Amalgam Universe

A 855-post collection

Challenge #02234-F044: Incidental Hazards

Young children like to lounge on people, caregivers and companions alike. Do other species deal with this? -- Anon Guest

There is an instinct almost universal to the young of any given species. Stay close to your caregiver. Once able to move about free of the nest/clutch/creche/pouch, the caregiver is still a bastion of protection, font of education, and primary source of emotional resilience. In species with communal childrearing, any older member of the species will do.

Which was why Rael had a very small and upset Human attached to his leg. He was not qualified to deal with this, he knew it. His education on multi-species infant care consisted entirely on a plethora of pamphlets containing the barest of basics on how to handle any infant he had a chance of encountering and most of the contents boiled down to 'contact the legal guardian at the earliest convenience.

"I'm... not your people," he attempted, which made no impact on the crying Human wrapped around his leg. Rael considered his options. This was a non-urgent situation, for all that the small Human's howling made it seem more so. Calling in Security was right out, as was allowing the Human to stay there and cry. Especially since the creature in question was attempting and failing to climb him, thereby risking a wardrobe malfunction.

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Challenge #02233-F043: Greatest Responsibility

What would an intergalactic nursery look like? -- Anon Guest

Multi-species infant care is a fascinating workplace to begin with. For each species, there are separate demands beyond the standards of clean, warm, and comfortable. There are some general rules, like mammals do best when fed on their parental secretions. Reptilian life forms, for instance, get essential gut bacteria from their parentals' regurgitations. Some, like Humans, thrive with the assistance of gentle physical contact. Others are too frail to be disturbed until

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Challenge #02230-F040: Radical Prototype

"I fail to see how crew members taking the offensensitivity warning I attached to myself as a joke or challenge is in any way my fault." -- Anon Guest

Human Kari tapped at the small pin. It was shaped like a fan, and mostly silver. The borders were thick and black and there was an ornamental scroll that had the words, Accidentally Offensive embossed into it. Presumably, those within range to read it would also be subject to Human Kari's... more colourful

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Challenge #02229-F039: Special Talents

"Am I weird?"

"Yes, that's why we get along." -- Anon Guest

They say things like, There's always one, or, Strange is as strange does; but what they generally mean by that is, Look at the statistical outlier. It's not always done with malice, but it certainly feels that way when one is on the receiving end. For those who experience this sort of thing first hand, it's interesting how the statistical outliers are reviled and expelled from groups as "too strange"

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Challenge #02228-F038: Tactile Rewards

Human giving an alien scritches.

"I'm not a pet, you know."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"…No" -- TheDragonsFlame

The one thing one must remember about Humans, Thrikki wrote in her journal, apart from the most obvious like the whole Deathworlder thing, is that they are incredibly tactile. They reach out to feel things just to experience what it feels like. They reassure themselves on the presence of their fellows. They show affection through touch.

Human Cass was doing just that,

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Challenge #02227-F037: Think of the Children

An alien equivalent of a lawyer is studying up on various human court cases and stumbles upon a series of cases from family courts dated up to the mid 2030s citing "deviant sexual attitudes" or "deviant sexuality" as reasons for being an unsuitable parent. Upon consultation with its human liaison as to the nature of these cases, the alien discovers the murky and dark legal situations around kinks. -- Anon Guest

For those seeking further proof of Human Insanity, look no further

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Challenge #02226-F036: Simple Metallurgical Skills

They were doomed. The copper tin alloy for the critical drive component they desperately needed was on a planet weeks away, and even if they had it, they couldn't make the part on the ship.

That's when the human walked into the bridge mopping sweat off hir brow.

"All fixed let's go."

"What do you mean all fixed?"

"Simply, I made a cast of the part with the pieces, then melted down the original and re cast it. It should last to

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Challenge #02224-F034: The Better Mousetrap Paradox

"Why do you carry a device only for recording your voice?"

"I think too quick to type anything down" -- Anon Guest

"There are auto-dictation programs galore," added Phrel. "Voice to text."

"Except they come with autocorrect and it takes a freaking age to teach them my personal lexicon. I'm a self-confessed weirdo that way. It's much easier for me to record the audio, slow it down, and use an older autodict to take a best guess at all the spelling. Then

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Challenge #02223-F033: Treasure (n)

The Archivaas learning about the libraries at Alexandria and Timbuktu -- Anon Guest

They say that if you want to annoy a Human Librarian, you should get them started on the Library of Alexandria. It's one of the more famous instances of knowledge destruction in Human history. It's famous as one of the most devastating hits to human progress in all of their devastating histories of Humankind, right next to the Shattering.

Less well-known is the fact that the Library of Alexandria

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Challenge #02222-F032: Snapping Point

(Sorry for everything bad in this prompt. My grammar isn't perfect. Anyway English isn't my native language :/)

Obsession about humans is almost natural in some species. Scientists literally love watching their human beings on tests. But some scientists went too far, when they ask: How much pain can human endure before they give up? -- Anon Guest

[AN: No worries, Nonny. When I encounter a prompt with obvious grammatical or spelling errors, I fix them up so that the soul of the

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Challenge #02221-F031: The Wager Motivation

Humans have a way of betting that causes the right people for a particular challenge to attempt what is at the time seemingly impossible.

An Inducement prize Contest like the "Ansari X prize" for making the first reusable private Spacecraft, or a Wager like the story of "Around the world in 80 days", even just friends and the ole "Hold my beer".

Humans strive to do the impossible because they like to win. It's in the DNA -- Adam from Darwin

The

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Challenge #02220-F030: Revelations

With so many deathworlders in the crew, there was bound to be at least one personal chamber decorated in horror and all things creepy. That was not surprising in the least. The surprising part is that this is the room of a class 5 havenworlder. -- Anon Guest

They called him Floofy, and they adored him. He was agreebly the softest, prettiest, cutest member of the team. As a Class 5 Havenworlder, though, Floofy was very delicate. His species preferred to let

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Challenge #02218-F028: They Don't Do That Anymore

Some aliens got fed up with the humans on board. So, they set up speakers to make loud or ominous noises every time a human walked near. -- Anon Guest

Psychological warfare has been banned in the Galactic Alliance, and those who wish to bring it back are quickly educated about the Whisker Incident. It was, at least in the beginning, a study on crew incompatibility, but like most social experiments of a certain nature[1], it escalated too quickly and got

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Challenge #02217-F027: Complexities of Simple Experiments

Humans tend to shine ridiculously bright spotlights into the sky. Imagine an alien vessel going past and being blinded by these lights. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Most of our lights don't work like that. They're dissipated by the atmosphere and disperse as they go further from the source. By the time you're at cruising altitude for airplanes, they're invisible to even the most perceptive of observers. That said, we're busy inventing some pretty gnarly lights...]

Humans like to prove things are possible.

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Challenge #02216-F026: The Boredom Compulsion

This rumination on Queen's three types of songs, as seen by aliens trying to understand these odd Deathworlders. -- RecklessPrudence

If there is anything to cause the Human brain to skip a few gears, it's listening to The Prophet's Song followed by Fat Bottomed Girls. Both are clearly sung by the same man. Learning that both are written by the same man just makes the disparity more obvious.

One is a philosophical piece about those who foresee doom down the road and

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