Amalgam Universe

A 949-post collection

Challenge #02334-F144: Unexpected Testing Results

Due to the educational curriculum, I am unfortunately good at regurgitating information. Thus, my speaking patterns are about 90% references. -- Anon Guest

Shayde didn't like the SPOEns, mostly because they disturbed her on an emotional level. This was a pity because, as a group, they were among the few that could understand her. Rael, one of that select group, had to reflect that it was the fault of the pre-shattering education system of the late twentieth century.

Creeping featurism on a system designed in the era of steam had to mess kids up. The fact that Humanity hung onto it for an entire century after it was no longer necessary was a testimony to how ridiculous Humans could be. The advent of computerised assessment systems just made things worse.

It began with a need for clerks to do the paperwork. Thus, education focussed on having a neat hand and an ability to recite multiplication tables. A grounding in classical literature and the ability to comprehend the written word for nested information was also important to the managers of the era of steam. Then the world changed... War disrupted everything. Leaped technology forwards, and the system once reliable began to decay.

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Challenge #02333-F143: This is How a Heart Breaks Back

Human teenagers had terrible lives in their intergalaxy school. When humans joined to Galaxy Alliance they're started to sending their children to schools on other planets. Well... Teenagers have been harassing and bullying without any kind of defence because "humans will always be barbarians and if they do something to someone is abuse and they should be held in cages like animals". One time some Havenworlder starts to offend [name]. He choose wrong person. This was last time that anyone tried to

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Challenge #02332-F142: Just Playing

Human: Floor is lava! Alien: WAIT, WHAT?! — Anon Guest

Humans love to play. This does not always mean games of logic and reason, since many Humans lack the capacity for one or both of those attributes. Humans will not always play physical games with solid rule sets, either. Sometimes... they prefer to play with reality.

Human Jef and Tharyx were standing on an inactive console and an otherwise vacant chair, respectively. Xarq stared at the tableau. He knew their Ships’ Human was

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Challenge #02330-F140: Take Art

it is not hard to tell the difference between a human run ship and one that is run by others, for humans love color, ships run by humans often have painted walls and images everywhere, for ships that have a 'ships human' it is often best to allow them to decorate their living spaces to avoid agitation from staring at monochrome walls all the time (humans that don't decorate generally enjoy music, writing or other creative acts) -- Anon Guest

Every species

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Challenge #02329-F139: Playtime With Humans

There was one human who always pack bonded with others the same way: laying on the floor and talking, softly singing, and telling stories. -- Anon Guest

Some habits are hard to shake. For Human Steve, it was bonding with the ships' babies. Not every cogniscent species has the same lifespan as a Human. Some have very brief lives, indeed. After twenty years with assorted short-term ships, it was hir habit to go directly to the nursery and play with the little

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Challenge #02327-F137: That's a Lot of Samples

An Exploratory Team stumbles upon a Pirate Hideout and gets ambushed. The scientists make peace with their imminent demise and the pirates begin to prematurely celebrate....Until the ships human shows up, very very angry. -- Anon Guest

They had been excited to see smoke. Specifically, controlled columns of smoke. That meant controlled fires. This, in turn, meant that there was intelligent life present. Science Team Four proceeded cautiously. They didn't want to pollute a starter civilisation with sightings of alien life.

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Challenge #02326-F136: At Least They Don't Speak Owo

Humans meet a species that looks very similar to a creature from a franchise. -- Anon Guest

Ensign Jans was vibrating in her seat. She was evidently using every atom of restraint to keep her reaction to a minimum, but Captain Thorne had learned to react to crew-member's tells before said crew-members could explode. In this case, Ensign Jans was a lit keg of fandom enthusiasm and would therefore be unfit for duty in seconds or less.

Therefore, Captain Thorne said, "Ensign

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Challenge #02325-F135: Where the Mouth is

"That will never Work!"

"Bet you a (Insert Currency) that you can't."

"Be ready to lose that (Insert Currency)!!!" -- Anon Guest

If there is anything that a Human can be relied upon, it is their ability to take on ridiculous wagers and then win them. No matter how impossible the task. No matter how ludicrously low the bet. Humans will move galaxies to get those bragging rights. Even the tenderest and least offensive Havenworlder can goad a Human into action with,

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Challenge #02324-F134: Quill Dip'd in Poison Vile

Humans write a Letter in the style of Titus to Joseph Stalin to an Alien-Aggressor.

Fun for the Humans. Nightmares for the other Race. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have immense trouble getting that style, but I shall attempt the spirit of it]

From: Admiral Eddington, Commander in Chief, Vanerio Colonial Armed Forces. To: Lord Commander Warchief Xyrkyrkyz, Head of the Vorax Raiding Fleet.

Sir, we had left you alive in Panrinton, chiefly so you could warn your fellows in regards to

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Challenge #02323-F133: And Then They Kiss

You cannot tell me that there wasn't at least a SMALL group of humans who took one look at the Karmorp'se and got super happy! There are people who LOVE horror movie monsters! I bet SOMEONE was excited! -- Anon Guest

[AN: This prompt references this thing for those of you who don't want to do an archive trawl]

Humans have an astonishing number of sayings about their own mating habits. Just one is: Love is many things, none of them logical.

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Challenge #02322-F132: Unexpected Reaction

One human captain has a very, intense, reaction to adrenaline. Thankfully, the crew is understanding. (I was thinking crying/sobbing but if you get a better idea then that's perfect.) -- Anon Guest

Adrenaline is a powerful chemical. It does not, as many expect, make Humans violent. This is just one way for Humans to react. The typical reactions caused by Adrenaline is one of two: Fight... or Flight. Without emotional direction, the side-effects include nausea, an urgent need to vacate the

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Challenge #02321-F131: It Says 'Dood'

What if crop circles were just that species' way of leaving a calling card? -- Anon Guest

When tumbling along uncharted byways of Space, it's considered polite to leave something in the way of a marker. A tag, a sign that you were there. A temporary message that will soon be absorbed by nature, lasting just long enough for others who may follow to see... I was here, or, I'm headed this way. All the better for finding your way back if

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Challenge #02320-F130: Little Souvenirs

Tattoos are a big part of some Human cultures.

Others see it as an expression of their youth.

And some see it still as a thing, that should only be worn by prisoners and sailors.

How react Aliens (especially Havenworlders and other Deathworders) when they first make contact with a Human and their tattoos? -- Anon Guest

Human Stef was favouring their right arm, being very careful about it colliding with random surfaces. This was not the first time that the Human

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Challenge #02319-F129: Not Paranoia If...

A ship's captain is particularly paranoid and adds stun guns to all areas of the ship, for emergencies. -- Anon Guest

In the years that ze was captain of the Twitching Whisker, Thragaak was derided as a delusional paranoid with a persecution complex. Now, we know hir as visionary who was years ahead of hir time. Plying the sargasso as ze did, surviving close calls with Deathworlders and unfamiliar peoples, it was, perhaps, wisdom to believe that They really were out to

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Challenge #02318-F128: We Don't Eat That

In the Time of Spring, Easter Grass is often sold for little Money.

It's nearly completely without Problems. All it requires are Water and Light + Heat

(i even Recall someone saying, that it would also grow in zero G, If provided with the above).

Ideal for the Use as easy to eat Food supply for Herbivore Aliens and their tiny children...

Another Product from Earth with high success. :-) -- Anon Guest

[AN: I looked this up and even a minimum amount

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