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Amalgam Universe

A 2180-post collection

Challenge #04385-L001: Beware of Humans

They attacked a human outpost thinking that these small, squishy, beings would be easy prey.

They learned the truth, and broadcasted their apologies, and a dire warning about humans. -- Anon Guest

This is an urgent message to anyone crossing into this solar system. Beware. Do not attack the cogniscents in this area. Do not raid the settlements in this area. Do not go within zero point eight Standard Astral Units[1] of any rocky planetoid in this system. They will detect you. They will chase you. They will hunt you down.

[Further Information:]

We thought they were weak. We thought they were defenceless. After all, our scans revealed that they were growing tame vegetation and building their houses out of vegetation. We thought they had no weapons, no ships, and no guns. We were wrong.

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Challenge #04384-K366: Poison in Acid? Refreshing!

Human, that fluid is caustic enough to strip paint from metal! And you're drinking it?? How are you not dead yet??

"It tastes good, it's fizzy, and it helps me stay awake. Besides, its just a soda." -- Anon Guest

Companion Laus could barely contain hir anxiety. "But.. the gasses will cause intense digestive pain. Colic is a fatal--"

Human Tam belched, causing Companion Laus to boggle at him. "You can just do that?"

"Yeah, we can reject stuff that's bad for

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Challenge #04382-K364: Defying Inevitability

There are only three constants in the universe:

Death, Taxes, Evolution into crustacean

Human seem to be the only outlier, but not for the reason many think of. -- Anon Guest

Human fiction has played with the notion since before the Shattering. Someone capable of taking aspects from various beasts attempts to create the most dangerous being possible. The beast that emerges is, of course, a Human. Someone capable of messing with evolution concocts the ultimate form of life and gets... a

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Challenge #04380-K362: Not a Nice Kitty

They think the creature is just another earth cat. They should have listened to the warnings about the black creatures with the white stripes down their backs. The invaders need a lot of care and decontamination! -- Anon Guest

"Uh, Byox? Don't pet that one!"

"It's a harmless cat. Look, it has it's tail up, and what a floof!"

"No don't--" too late. Human Dez winced in pure sympathy as Byox got the full treatment from a neighbourhood skunk. "Ooohhhh... Ouch."

Byox

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Challenge #04379-K361: It's Just Like Home

A troop of Marines land on a planet they considered "a bit warm". Their enemies never stopped to realize what "a bit warm" meant to humans. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I'm from a country where it regularly gets above fifty celcius during summer. High forties are "a bit warm"... but that kind of depends how thick the air soup gets]

Space Marines have what you might call a... Reputation. Always with the ellipsus and the capital. If you want a polity or

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Challenge #04378-K360: Arrogance and Entitlement

An intergalactic empire finds out what happens when you double-cross humans and try to enslave them. It's not pretty. But, for the record, they were warned. -- Anon Guest

There is no longer a Drasfrangian Empire. What happened to it is a lesson to all who think they have the power and the right to ignore the Cogniscent Rights Committee. Their chief mistake was holding all non-Dasfrangians in slavery. Their territory was large and always growing. Their armies large and fueled by

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Challenge #04376-K358: Accurate Descriptions

What's one of the best exercise to keep me cheerful? I love to dance! -- Anon Guest

"That's what you call dancing?" boggled Sparky Tae. "That's... uhm... novel."

Scrubber Naev came to a safe and stable halt, shutting off the music with a tap to their datareader vambrace. "Okay. So what would you call it?"

"Advanced parkour acrobatics whilst impersonating a Muppet on fire," said Tae.

Naev almost fell off the horizontal bar, she was laughing so hard. As it was, she

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Challenge #04375-K357: Medically Approved Distraction

The poor havenworlder was eggbound. And the humans were only working with the most basic of medical as that was all that was available in this emergency. They were asked... please sing? It helped the pain of a difficult delivery. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Knowing a little about what to do for eggbound birds, the usual solution is to very carefully break the egg]

It should have been easy. It should have been an hour or two of relatively difficult work, and

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Challenge #04374-K356: Unmasking

They'd spent a good portion of their life alone. A life in near-isolation makes it hard for a person to adjust to being around.. so many. Fortunately, their rescuers, the ones that saved their world, are helping with that. -- Anon Guest

My life before the exodus was viewed through screens, and served with machines. I talked to people on screens, I had various needs met by hardware. My booth was my life. Just like it was everyone else's life. Work was

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Challenge #04373-K355: The Other Side of the Gurney

It was a hell of a battle, by all rights this marine SHOULD be dead. But we saved him. Any other being that had lost that much blood, and that many limbs, would've been long gone by now. There's a reason other medics claim that humans are almost unkillable. I really wish they'd stop that way of thinking. They're tough, but not THAT tough! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Continuing on from this ]

The crew took turns sitting with their Ship's Human. Human

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Challenge #04372-K354: Only Looks Harmless

The humans mocked another human calling them a hippo.

The human, much to the shock of their Alliance friends, thanked the mockers.

The mockers were shocked and swore at the human.

The human said "You just compared me to one of THE most feared animals on the planet next to the humble mosquito. An animal that is fast, powerful, literally a living, amphibious, tank. So thanks!" -- Fighting Fit

Of all the things that could happen in the Edge Territories, this was

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Challenge #04369-K351: Impromptu Intervention

They knew humans work longer than most. But this just kept going until they collapsed. Working instead of dealing with their feelings in a healthier way. -- Anon Guest

The manual said to watch your Rescue Human carefully for signs of distress. Community notes in that area also detailed some confounding signs of a Human masking their signs of distress. Though Companion Grosk tried to collate them, the final list looked like literally anything a Human could do.

Human Neis was either

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Challenge #04367-K349: Too Cold to Hurt

The one thing about being too cold is that, when you're badly hurt, and your crewmates are trying hard to get you to safety, and get you help, it's not so bad. One the cold numbs the pain a bit and two, it slows down your system, giving them more time. At least you know... you may just make it this time. -- Anon Guest

Cold... hurts. It aches the muscles and creeps into bones. Grinding joints along the way. Thing is.

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Challenge #04366-K348: Communications Breakthrough

SPOENS are considered a mostly harmless nuisance until one of them teaches all the cogniscents who communicate with light, Morse Code and it caught on. -- Anon Guest

[AN: There's a few things to consider here. First - SPOEns are the Society for the Preservation of Original English and permanently in argument about what Original English is. Second - Morse Code is only a means of codification of language. It's right there on the tin. Third... there's more than a few cogniscents

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Challenge #04361-K343: Executive Three Card Monte

The CEO was as evil as they came, so it would seem. They called the ones in the factories, "machines". But when Pax Humanis found them, they were caring for their children lovingly, and the young children also called the ones in the factories machines. Didn't the CEO, or the kids actually know the ones there were people? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Considering recent events... I will be trying to remain in the positive vibe zone]

Deregger polities generally have a light

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