Amalgam Universe

A 1372-post collection

Challenge #02912-G355: All in Good Fun

A: you’ll never catch me!

B: bold and words for some in BFG range

As the human pulls the trigger a stream of foam balls fly across the room

C: what does BFG stand for anyway?

B: Big Foam Gun, what else?

C: well I thought it was Big F** Gun, but that works too. -- Anon Guest

"Well, that's what it used to stand for, pre-Shattering or something. I think. I'm not that up on my entertainment history. Most of it I absorbed from a real nerd who kept using ancient memes as comedy. Hardly anyone could understand him. We weren't allowed to swear so... big foam gun. It's friendlier."

This was an extremely Deathworlder definition of 'friendlier'. These were a band of people for whom play, hunting, and combat were inextricably linked. For them, a toy firearm that shot out soft foam balls at low velocity was fun. Their smallest children, just getting the hang of bipedal motion, could and would use them in simulated combat.

It took some levels of Havenworlders some significant time to get used to that. Humans, usually warned about the relative fragility of Havenworlders, were generally polite and kept their games to themselves until a briefing could occur. Such a briefing allowed the use of Human Brea's "BFG", provided warnings were issued for those unsure of their own offensensitivity. Which was why Companion Zin was watching the Ships' Humans at their play.

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Challenge #02911-G354: You Raided the Wrong Planet

A backwater, mudball of a planet that’s home to the galaxies 3rd best interstellar circus comes under attack! -- LatinoThor45

Five hundred years has changed a lot of things. Thousands of years in deep-time colonies has changed so very, very much more. The nature of Circus has evolved. There is no animal exploitation. The trained creatures present are holograms. Artificial intelligences carefully monitored by the CRC and the AI Alliance. They were not that smart, and carefully made to be so.

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Challenge #02910-G353: Learning Process

i want to know what happened during the Vorax raid, ESPECIALLY if the Human was perhaps away, and the Vorax, being not COMPLETELY inept, had waited for that to happen to commit to said raid...

The Vorax were learning. They learned to scan potential victims from a distance. They learned to detect dangerous Humans and at least keep their distance. Human Kin did not scan as threatening. They were smaller and slighter

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Challenge #02909-G352: The Biggest Little Threat

They were banned from almost every DeRegger place known. Their ships had a standing order to shoot on sight. Yet... they came. How they managed to get through the security? Well let's just say DeRegger security is usually spotty at best due to how they choose to "fund" that security. Or maintain the people, supplies, and equipment.

Why were they so hated? So feared? They were telepaths. All of them, the entire team. They had learned to not only block out thoughts

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Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Human A: "If you try to kill yourself, I will fight you."

Human B: "...I would not win that fight."

(Note: This is part of a conversation that I actually had with my suicidally depressed partner. And yes, if I thought he was going for it, I would totally fight him.) -- Anon Guest

This, alarmingly, was a common conversation between the two Ship's Humans of the Fanciful Deal. Human Zae had issues that manifested as periodic bouts of severe depression. Their

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Challenge #02906-G349: Warmed in the Weave

The human was both engineer and bodyguard aboard a ship of havenworlders. In their down time, they enjoyed both knitting and crocheting. They had an old blanket that they'd kept from when they were a child and, when things went bad, it comforted them after the event had passed and the enemies were defeated. A way to calm themselves. Having an idea, they began to make small, soft, blankets, one for each of their havenworlder crewmates. After all, why should they be

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Challenge #02904-G347: Ancient Terran Humour

trust me -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a black page with a purple button that also reads TRUST ME. If you click it, you get a page full of the Pokemon Ditto dancing to The Conga. You will definitely get fired if you're caught viewing this in the office]

This was a vault made by Humans. The way to get through varying doors was to solve puzzles involving bits of Human culture that -according to the Humans who made it-

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Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]

Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem

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Challenge #02902-G345: Escape By Mercy

They had nothing to give, no funds what so ever. With them was their youngest sibling, unable to move due to the injuries so severe that even the best medicine around could not fix it. Their only hope were the B'Nari. The sibling wept, feeling terrible because their beloved family was going through so much for them since the accident. But kept being assured that it was the least they could do since the injuries which caused the complete paralysis of the

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Challenge #02901-G344: Vocal Gymnastics

The human spoke in a half-whisper as they were going through the jungle trying to skirt the edges of a hostile camp. Normally, they'd be 'kick backside and take names' but they were carrying a wounded havenworlder with them and could not risk their friend. Damnit, if only the life pod's transmitters had worked! No use for it, they knew where the rescue ship would be, but the hostiles were not going to make it easy.

Their friend then noticed the voice

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Challenge #02899-G342: The Evidence Speaks For Itself

Shortly after their receive a shipment of stolen parrots, alien smugglers learn that pet parrots tend to repeat some of the most common phrases they have heard the hard way. There are some things that should never be heard, and can never be unheard. -- Anon Guest

"Captain Fresk is going to panic," said a voice. It sounded a lot like crewmate Jori, but it came, seemingly, from the cage of brightly-coloured exotic Deathworlder avian that they had successfully stolen from Brightwing

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Challenge #02898-G341: And Not a Bite to Eat

On a planet where eating meat was so illegal that even replicated meat grown in nutrient vats can mean prison time, the deathworlder's ship landed heavily. Fortunately, they got the whole ship down and hadn't needed a life pod, but repairs were going to take months. However, hearing the strict law against eating meat on this planet was going to be a problem. While meat replacements worked for a small amount of time, they needed actual meat to survive or they would,

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Challenge #02898-G341: A Steep Ask

“Although I don’t use many of my fighting skills anymore I do use some,” the human chuckled. “Some?” My questions was almost immediately answered as the human disappeared right in front of me and appeared behind me. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have been reminded of Human Twii but this could be quite a number of Humans in my pet universe. I might think up a new one. Let's see]

Legends of Humans reach the places that Humans have not yet

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Challenge #02897-G340: Mistakes Were Made

The first thing they noticed was the running, stumbling humans, exiting a building. The second thing they noticed was that the humans that weren't too busy choking and gasping were shouting "put on your livesuits!" and "we need particle masks!"

Once the fire had been extinguished and the building was airing out, the story of What Happened This Time was told.

It was a story involving Carolina Reapers and a malfunctioning kitchen fan. Every human involved had the same thing to say

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Challenge #02896-G339: Thanks For All the Fish

When Humans made first contact with life outside their solar system a new trend of people hungry for adventure and exploration appeared, who yearned for the vast unknown that lay before them. And they weren't the only species on earth who wanted a slice of that action...
But would the problems their kind had since the beginning hamper them from continuing into the future?
Could Werewolves travel beyond there moon without getting into a 'Hairy' situation? (Or any other moon for that

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