Amalgam Universe

A 1148-post collection

Challenge #02626-G069: Patient Persistence

Elephants can paint. It is adorable. They also enjoy music. Also: good at snuggles. -- Anon Guest

Humanity has doubted the intelligence of Elephants in the same way that they doubted the intelligence of Cetaceans. The same is true for the Elephants doubting the Humans for similar reasons to the Cetaceans. However, when the communication barrier was finally surmounted, Humanity was unimpressed.

Some of them had been literally talking to dolphins for subjective centuries[1], and in the dolphins' own language. Getting Elephants to communicate with Humans in the local Terran dialect wasn't all that special. Nevertheless, Elephants were recognised, like Pigs, as another Deathworlder cogniscent species.

The fact that one used to farm another for nutrition is something many Humans prefer to sweep under the rug. The Pigs, for the record, are willing to declare that all things being equal, their ancestors were perfectly willing to eat Humans at every given opportunity. Both species have acknowledged the other as being very tasty indeed and strains of culture-grown flesh are available for interested parties[2]. The fact that there is one obligatory herbivore among the number of Terra's intelligent species has been something of a relief amongst many Havenworlders.

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Challenge #02625-G068: Toxic Under Certain Circumstances

Alien and Human conversation:

A: And Humans keep drinking these?

H: Jup.

A: Even though it can dissolve Rats?

H: Jup, in Moderation.

A: Why?

H: It tastes good.

(/TIL https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/can-mountain-dew-really-dissolve/ The Mouse-Mountaindew-Case) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Offensensitivity warning for the mouse in the Mountain Dew. Food adulteration implications therein.]

Humans are Deathworlders. It should therefore be little shock that they can enjoy consuming toxic substances. Some Humans claim they cannot continue to exist without their daily

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Challenge #02624-G067: Seasonal Invasion

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8UFtp_8HAJA

Aka. Ep. 54 "Havenworlder discover Christmas Beetles" -- Mike

[AN: "despite being Australian" is an entire mood NGL]

"It's November," said the guide. "It's Christmas Beetle season." This, seemingly apropos of nothing, was a warning to be taken seriously, since it did come from an Australian about Australian wildlife.

"Are they toxic?" worried Frip. "Venomous, poisonous, or attack-minded?" Frip had learned a lot from their trip to Australia so far. Going to see Australia

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Challenge #02623-G066: Occupational Hazards

A: Human, why are you eating with your off hand?

B: Oh, I sprained my dominant hand. It should be better in a few days, maybe a week.

A: WHAT WERE YOU DOING???

B: Cleaning the walls.

A: What.

B: Well, the kids left hand prints on the walls.

A: Just use the auto-cleaner.

B: Auto-cleaner's not rated for bio-hazardous materials.

A: WHAT DID THEY PUT ON THE WALLS???

B: Their own feces. It was disgusting. They did it while I was

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Challenge #02622-G065: One More Lesson

The Great Chinese Famine (from Wikipedia)

"I went to one village and saw 100 corpses, then another village and another 100 corpses. No one paid attention to them. People said that dogs were eating the bodies. Not true, I said. The dogs had long ago been eaten by the people."

(Yu Dehong, secretary of a party official in Xinyang in 1959 and 1960)

It is widely believed that the government seriously under-reported death tolls: Lu Baoguo, a Xinhua reporter in Xinyang, told

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Challenge #02621-G064: Reach Out And...

Born without the ability to speak, the human wrote or use signed language to communicate, though they could speak mind to mind, most did not like that at all, it gave them headaches. But as they worked on the havenworlder's ship, their first assignment, they heard something. But it was in their head. They went to the gravity drive and realized... that is who they were hearing. They spoke back, one mind to another, and in doing so the two ended up

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Challenge #02620-G063: To Become Human

The memorial ceremony was solemn. As their crewmate was laid to rest, the family given the posthumus honors the crewperson had earned for their heroism, their crewmates and captain were stunned by what had happened. The human marines that had been invited to attend stood at attention and saluted the grave of this small, fluffy, Havenworlder one last time with all the respect a human could give for someone who'd shown such courage.

The crew had razzed their crewmate calling them human

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Challenge #02619-G062: Sizzlin'

The support snag, AKA sausage inna slice of bread. You find them everywhere here in Auz, raising money for good causes, local footy teams. Volunteers cooking sausages and buttering bread, and selling bulk buy soft drinks at retail prices. The backbone of the country. -- Knitnan

It was a N'Ozzie thing. Of course it was a N'Ozzie thing. It made minimal sense, therefore it had to come from N'Oz. The entire planet, except for one reasonably large and relatively idyllic[1] island,

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Challenge #02618-G061: Adjusting the Recovery Plan

Their legs were broken, their lower back was damaged, and they were bruised all to hell. Still, havenworlders were safe, so while uncomfortable, they were not too upset about the situation. A scaffold some workers has been on had given way and they'd shoved the havenworlders out of the way quickly just as it collapsed pinning them beneath. Security had to come rescue them as the havenworlders were too small to get them out. Still, being stuck in the chair, in casts

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Challenge #02617-G060: Bonding Through Irritation

The humans teach some havenworlders how to play an infamous board game known as monopoly. -- Anon Guest

Competition is innate in Humans. Without some form of competition in their lives or society, Humans tend to... wither. A society without competition goes retrograde. A Human without competition becomes bored. There are few forces in the universe more destructive than a bored Human.

Fortunately for Havenworlders, Humans tend to bring along entertainment. This may be some kind of survival instinct at work or

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Challenge #02616-G059: Vital Education

A: Why is your baby so happy and well behaved? I've tried everything with mine!

Baby A: shriiieeeeek!!!

B: I just listen to them.

Baby B: happy cooing -- Anon Guest

Parenting classes did not exist, once. People were expected to pick up parenting from their own parents. This was not always the best model. Child psychology and psychology in general began with one simple step: listening. The instant people began to learn that their infants attempt communication from birth, is the

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Challenge #02615-G058: Useless? Never Heard of It

those odd coins in the bottom of your pocket or bag. Putting them to good use. -- Anon Guest

As a member of the Loyal Order of Hitchhikers, it is prudent to clean out one's bags regularly. Especially the bags one uses for currency. As one makes one's way through several cultures and territories, one accumulates small change like a piece of sticky tape accumulates lint. This is most important as weight limits can prevent further travel and some coin weighs more

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Challenge #02614-G057: Therapeutic Bonding Exercises

Humans quietly did not speak of it.

Speak of it and it makes it real, yeah?

One of the leftover prejudices from Pre-Shattering.

In reality, it wasn’t so bad. Young terrans unmeaningly latching on to inappropriate first beings when they were beginning their Adult Growth cycle. Receiving mixed and confused information due to age and species wasn’t so odd, with all the travelling.

You just had to know how to handle it so it went from "No, it’s okay!

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Challenge #02612-G055: Befriending Sunshine

I figured I would take a stab at hoping for a part 2 of a story? It's from this prompt.

https://steemit.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02494-f304-mr-sunshine-s-new-friend

Ms. Lilcoon goes looking for her friend, Mr. Sunshine, after she has the surgery on her paws to make them more like dextrus hands. She's grateful he saved her and had tried to keep in touch by writing him. But with her hands bandaged for a bit, writing would be hard. She told her family about

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Challenge #02611-G054: Strange and Confounding Customs

“I’m not a matchmaker, all I did was bring my friends to dinner and at first they were at each other's throats but at the end they were ‘very’ close,” I shudder, pushing away the thoughts “Now all my friends are trying to get in my other friends pants and it is getting very awkward for being the third wheel for the seventh time" -- Anon Guest

[AN: I mislike the hate-at-first-sight becoming Tru Luv(tm) by the third act because

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