Humans Are Weird

A 46-post collection

Challenge #02335-F145: Non-Solutions

"We need options."

"Well, I would say 'kill them all', but none of you ever remember it's a joke."

"HOW IS MASS MURDER A JOKE!?"

"How is mass murder NOT a joke when we're not actually gonna do it?"

"Ok new rule, no more dark humor during meetings." -- Anon Guest

"This isn't a meeting, it's a tragedy in progress."

"How is death possibly funny?"

"All of you. Can it for a sec'. We actually need a working plan," Grax sighed as the Humans in the team held out their hands for a small coin. "Please."

Human Stef said, "Business faces," and the rest of them put their hands away and straightened up. "You gotta admit, boss. This is something of a comedy of errors. Mistakes were made, Humans are wont to find that funny. We're trying to get over it, honest."

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Challenge #02330-F140: Take Art

it is not hard to tell the difference between a human run ship and one that is run by others, for humans love color, ships run by humans often have painted walls and images everywhere, for ships that have a 'ships human' it is often best to allow them to decorate their living spaces to avoid agitation from staring at monochrome walls all the time (humans that don't decorate generally enjoy music, writing or other creative acts) -- Anon Guest

Every species

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Challenge #02329-F139: Playtime With Humans

There was one human who always pack bonded with others the same way: laying on the floor and talking, softly singing, and telling stories. -- Anon Guest

Some habits are hard to shake. For Human Steve, it was bonding with the ships' babies. Not every cogniscent species has the same lifespan as a Human. Some have very brief lives, indeed. After twenty years with assorted short-term ships, it was hir habit to go directly to the nursery and play with the little

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Challenge #02325-F135: Where the Mouth is

"That will never Work!"

"Bet you a (Insert Currency) that you can't."

"Be ready to lose that (Insert Currency)!!!" -- Anon Guest

If there is anything that a Human can be relied upon, it is their ability to take on ridiculous wagers and then win them. No matter how impossible the task. No matter how ludicrously low the bet. Humans will move galaxies to get those bragging rights. Even the tenderest and least offensive Havenworlder can goad a Human into action with,

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Challenge #02323-F133: And Then They Kiss

You cannot tell me that there wasn't at least a SMALL group of humans who took one look at the Karmorp'se and got super happy! There are people who LOVE horror movie monsters! I bet SOMEONE was excited! -- Anon Guest

[AN: This prompt references this thing for those of you who don't want to do an archive trawl]

Humans have an astonishing number of sayings about their own mating habits. Just one is: Love is many things, none of them logical.

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Challenge #02322-F132: Unexpected Reaction

One human captain has a very, intense, reaction to adrenaline. Thankfully, the crew is understanding. (I was thinking crying/sobbing but if you get a better idea then that's perfect.) -- Anon Guest

Adrenaline is a powerful chemical. It does not, as many expect, make Humans violent. This is just one way for Humans to react. The typical reactions caused by Adrenaline is one of two: Fight... or Flight. Without emotional direction, the side-effects include nausea, an urgent need to vacate the

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Challenge #02312-F122: Raise Your Voice

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=scWkCJ8xDmI

Humans are one of the only species where Things like a Flashmob or something similar ever could happen.

Alien gets the feels OwO -- Anon Guest

It was late. Even the Humans in this particular well of stairs and doors were quiet. It happened spontaneously. Someone sang a note. Others joined in. Once harmony was accomplished, the Humans fell silent for a moment.

One thousand Humans, all agreeing on the same song. Those non-Humans present

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Challenge #02306-F116: Expressions of Exasperation

any day is a good day when you're not on fire

alien looks over nervously -- Anon Guest

Humans have such interesting ways to express disappointment with their life at the moment. They can range from the simple and insincere, "Kill me," to the complicated and difficult to explain to newcomers, "Today... the spiders flakked me." One can never tell which of the multitude of expressions any given Human would use.

Qosyk, the roommate of Human Jae, kept hearing different ones for

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Challenge #02305-F115: What's in a Name?

There is an old myth among the Edge folk that the only thing that could stop an overly enthusiastic human from causing unwanted destruction is to command them using their full names. But in order to do so you must first find their secret name. Their "Middle" name!

And it must be true or why else would they have it hidden? -- AmberFox

Tyroq had seen it happen. The young Humans were causing trouble in a public zone. Climbing structures that should

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Challenge #02304-F114: Halfway There

Humans always enjoy finding anyone they can have a "same hat!" moment with. This time, it was over "Livin on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi. -- Anon Guest

The Humans were bonding memetically. Grurx had heard of this, but never seen it happen, so she picked a safe space to observe.

Human Sem and Human Rys were singing, and showing no signs of stopping. The lyrics had the same beginning, but the finishing couplet was always different. The singing seemed to be

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Challenge #02299-F109: I Smell Your Stink

Hey mom, hey dad.

Glad to hear everything's going well back at home. Hope lil sis is still practising for her band tour. Everything here's good, except for one thing. My roommate is kind if the equivalent of a sentient space skunk. I mean, I don't blame them, but you know how strong my nose is! I bet it's not even that bad! So yeah, everything else is fine.

Love you guys,

Katie -- Anon Guest

Humans tend to boldly go where

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Challenge #02295-F105: A Morbid Fascination

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Huo3CtZaYMY is a Good example.

Humans are (at least in comparison to other species) obsessed with End-of-the-World-Scenarios.

Aliens find this strange/bizarre and question a human. -- Anon Guest

Human Raz was taking personal time to de-stress themselves. In this case, the relaxing activity involved yelling at a screen whilst their hands spasmed along the surface of a small, plastic interface. The Human's dialogue was not coherent or relaxed. It mostly consisted of things like, "Come

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Challenge #02294-F104: Some Came Along

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxLa6QgqM2w -- Anon Guest

Terrans believe in ghosts. Well. Most of them do. There's some phenomena amongst those sensitive to infrasound, magnetic radiation from electronica, and liminal spaces. There's also the growing Esper population who are unaware of their native abilities and prescribe activities or voices to spirits.

However, there are more than a few... incidents... that defy the explanations of science. Echoes in dark corridors from feet that aren't there. Whispers just out of understanding.

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Challenge #02285-F095: On Swift Wings

The ability of the human body to survive immense injury while also succumbing to the most bizarre things has always fascinated me.

For example, you hear of people falling out of airplanes and landing on the ground after crashing through trees, yet only suffering a sprained ankle and some bruises...

... and on the other hand there’s events such as the death of famous whiskey distiller Jack Daniels, who died from a blood infection caused by a broken toe which stemmed from

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Challenge #02284-F094: A Glitch is But a Glitch

"Don't forget me."

"My apologies, but I already have." -- Anon Guest

Synthetic emotions are a tricky thing for AI's. Some, like those created by the Consortium of Steam, feel deeply and without many complications. Others despise emotion and suppress it whenever it creeps into their experiences. Between those two extremes are those who have emotions, and are devastated by them when they are negative.

Their coping strategies for this are not always socially acceptable amongst organics. One of the more common

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