Humans Are Weird

A 89-post collection

Challenge #02602-G045: The Motivation Solution

What are you doing?

No, don't jump down here!

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS??? -- Anon Guest

Here's the thing with having Humans on your ship. Sometimes they are young Humans and don't always know the rules of proper behaviour. It is difficult to know which Humans are capable and which are... less... capable until such time as they reveal their limits. Humans are a relatively unknown species and those taking the risks of their company on the Edge are more or less on their own. This is merely a compilation of what we have learned...

Humans like a challenge... The new ships' Humans were about the same size as the average Thoqnath, at least at the port where they signed on as security guards. They had amenably compatible omnivorous diets. And they apparently had an arboreal ancestry, since they loved to climb... everywhere.

Their limbs were too long and their feet the wrong shape for Thoqnath hop-rungs, so they used literally everything else, including the sides of the maintenance tubes, to get up or down between decks. They also made use of air vent passages or just took their joy from getting somewhere awkward to be.

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Challenge #02579-G022: What the Feces?

You’re shit is an insult, you’re the shit is a complement. You’re not shit is a reassurance, and fuck this shit is not related to the previous phrases. -- Anon Guest

Humans don't have to be confusing, but they will frequently do it anyway. Their idioms, axioms, and expressions are many, varied, and assumed to be understood by everyone. This can hold true for some Human words, as well. Enormous papers have been written on the versatility of some

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Challenge #02574-G017: Art Supplies of Mass Destruction

A havenworlder has a human as a godparent and they love to teach there godchild stuff like survival tips, human pop culture and other things the child's parents would rather them not know. -- Cheshire

Having a godparent, goodparent, or other form of honorary family member is such a Deathworlder concept. Grown Deathworlders are aware of the fragile nature of mortality and have culturally instituted the concept of spare parental figures. This comes in handy for Havenworlders who are, culturally speaking, just

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Challenge #02556-G001: Tearful Appreciation

"Are you alright?" The same question they got lots of times when tears would fall down their cheeks. Of course, they understood the Galactics were not used to seeing a human crying when nothing was wrong, obviously. They were sitting with their friends watching a video that showed incredible sunrises and sunsets from various worlds with a background for these wonders being the sound of an orchestra increasing the richness of the experience. And, as always, they wiped their cheeks and said

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Challenge #02555-F365: It's So Relaxing

Oh, I can't really handle all the excitement and action in FPS, especially the PVP ones. I much prefer simulation games, like Frost Punk! You build your little town, and manage resources, and try not to let all your people freeze to death or starve or something. Nice, relaxing fun. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to play. Their play takes every form you could imagine and some that seem incredibly unlikely. Some play involves flinging themselves physically at obstacles, off obstacles, or

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Challenge #02543-F353: Good Kitty

A nonhuman deathworlder learning about major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation from a human so used to suffering from those that they treat the loss of their medication as an inconvenience, and apologize to the poor sap they got stranded with while they ask them to keep an eye out for self destructive behaviors.

"So, I've only got a few days worth of my meds, and it'll be at least a couple of weeks before we get rescued. Mind keeping an eye

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Challenge #02540-F350: Wandering Minds

On earth in various places, there are buskers. People who will put down a hat, box, bowl, or other container and then will play music, sing, or otherwise entertain in the hope of donations. Then there are the flash mobs. Large groups of individuals who will coordinate a time where they will come together. They will mill about in a crowd and then, at a predesignated time, one individual will throw off their jacket or other covering and, in costume, begin to

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Challenge #02538-F348: Goodnight Everybody

A: Ok look I only have a sawed shotty and a 9mm and I don’t want to fight anything that is bigger than a baby moose. Also if you see a bear follow this rhyme “brown lay down, black fight back, white good night”

B: but can’t you fight back with your weapons?

A: Yes and no. First off the bears in these regions are bulletproof, hell most bears are. More than anything firing this will piss them off

B:

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Challenge #02537-F347: Many Ways to Pack Bond

The havenworlders hire a human who docks their ship to the havenworlder's own larger research vessel and uses that for their quarters rather than what the havenworlders have provided. When asked why, the human simply responds "It's better this way." But does not care to elaborate. The reason behind the why becomes clear when a havenworlder goes in to bring a gift to the human that has become such a kind friend and asset, when the havenworlder hears horrific screaming coming from

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Challenge #02530-F340: Love for All Creatures

Humankind will happily share/shelter tiny pets with/from the universe. Hamsters, flying squirrels, cats, parrots, sugar gliders, lizards and snakes, even dogs. As an unsocial person, I will socialize the heck out off my girl despite my discomfort. As a nonviolent person, I will murder anyone who lays a hand on my baby. How much would I love someone who protected my pet for me? -- Anon Guest

This wasn't the first time Human An had woken up in a medbay.

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Challenge #02525-F335: Useful Obsession

Almost everyone has a collection of some sort. Some collect books, some do baseball cards, and others like stamps. Me? I love seeds. Every planet I've been to, and every ship I've been assigned to, one of the things I've always insisted upon as part of my contract as a bodyguard, or whatever, is this. In addition to my pay, I get ten packages of seeds. And they must be diverse packages, no duplicates. To ensure this, I give them a list

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Challenge #02522-F332: One Way to See

What if humans sight was akin to fantasy elves sensitivities to mana, “I may not have electro receptors like you but I'm able to to detect light with my eyes within the general vicinity” and they were so coy and vague describing light. Also if aliens have electro receptors imagine if they detect our nervous system. -- Anon Guest

The semi-amphibious Anatins didn't need to see light as they were evolving. They could sense the electrical discharges of predators and prey alike

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Challenge #02509-F319: Berry Small Problem

It's inevitable that one person's treat is another person's hallucinogen, especially when it comes to dealing with various species in the Galactic Alliance. There is a plant that, for most Galactics, it's no worse for them than a human having some chocolate. In fact, it's sweet fruit is quite popular. However, if a human eats some, it's inevitable the human will sit for hours completely blitzed. So while it's a treat for some, for humans, it's a potential medicine to help those

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Challenge #02508-F318: An Asynchronous Encounter in Ships' Night

You ever fall asleep on the couch only to wake up in your own bed? Ever fall asleep in your bed and wake up realizing you're standing in your living room? Sleepwalking can be from stress, it can be from night-terrors, it can be from many things. When they hired their young warrior / linguist, they didn't realize he sleepwalks. It wasn't in the file, after all, and this was the youth's first assignment. Though they would find him asleep in the oddest

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Challenge #02507-F317: The Jewels of the Tour

A feathery flash of ruby red, then several bright flashes of green. These tiny birds flit amongst the gardens on the space station as the havenworlders watch them in wonder. They came from a 4.5 deathworld. These beautiful, flying gems. They are more delicate than the most delicate of havenworlders, some humans brought them here to the garden to act as pollinators and to make the place, "more like home,' she'd said. Little nectar-filled feeders can be seen swarming with

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