Humans Are Weird

A 95-post collection

Challenge #02619-G062: Sizzlin'

The support snag, AKA sausage inna slice of bread. You find them everywhere here in Auz, raising money for good causes, local footy teams. Volunteers cooking sausages and buttering bread, and selling bulk buy soft drinks at retail prices. The backbone of the country. -- Knitnan

It was a N'Ozzie thing. Of course it was a N'Ozzie thing. It made minimal sense, therefore it had to come from N'Oz. The entire planet, except for one reasonably large and relatively idyllic[1] island, had large portions of it on fire.

Therefore, N'Ozzies and allies everywhere were fundraising with burned offerings. Planet on fire? Semi-char some onions and cheap, minced meat encased in some form of edible skin, and then sell it to passing citizenry for five Minutes a pop. More if one also purchased a recommended serving container of flavoured, carbonated water. The fried foodstuffs of not-much-choice[2] were then served in an equally cheap slice of probably-bread. The cheapest of breads being naturally not very far removed from dough.

Shayde had 'shouted' him one with all the trimmings. Extra fried onion, and every single condiment she could fit. As well as the sweetest, most chemically-laden version of flavoured carbon-water she could obtain. "It's fer charity," she said, handing the burned offering over. "Eat generously, yeh?"

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Challenge #02617-G060: Bonding Through Irritation

The humans teach some havenworlders how to play an infamous board game known as monopoly. -- Anon Guest

Competition is innate in Humans. Without some form of competition in their lives or society, Humans tend to... wither. A society without competition goes retrograde. A Human without competition becomes bored. There are few forces in the universe more destructive than a bored Human.

Fortunately for Havenworlders, Humans tend to bring along entertainment. This may be some kind of survival instinct at work or

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Challenge #02616-G059: Vital Education

A: Why is your baby so happy and well behaved? I've tried everything with mine!

Baby A: shriiieeeeek!!!

B: I just listen to them.

Baby B: happy cooing -- Anon Guest

Parenting classes did not exist, once. People were expected to pick up parenting from their own parents. This was not always the best model. Child psychology and psychology in general began with one simple step: listening. The instant people began to learn that their infants attempt communication from birth, is the

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Challenge #02615-G058: Useless? Never Heard of It

those odd coins in the bottom of your pocket or bag. Putting them to good use. -- Anon Guest

As a member of the Loyal Order of Hitchhikers, it is prudent to clean out one's bags regularly. Especially the bags one uses for currency. As one makes one's way through several cultures and territories, one accumulates small change like a piece of sticky tape accumulates lint. This is most important as weight limits can prevent further travel and some coin weighs more

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Challenge #02614-G057: Therapeutic Bonding Exercises

Humans quietly did not speak of it.

Speak of it and it makes it real, yeah?

One of the leftover prejudices from Pre-Shattering.

In reality, it wasn’t so bad. Young terrans unmeaningly latching on to inappropriate first beings when they were beginning their Adult Growth cycle. Receiving mixed and confused information due to age and species wasn’t so odd, with all the travelling.

You just had to know how to handle it so it went from "No, it’s okay!

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Challenge #02604-G047: Worth the Ordeal

"Wow, you really did it!"

"I said I would, didn't I?"

"Well, yes..."

"Then why are you so surprised?"

"Oh, I figured something of a higher priority would come along and you'd do that, then you'd be busy and forget about it, so I just assumed it wouldn't happen for, like, three or four months so I wouldn't give you a reason to be mad at me for being frustrated that you didn't do it when you said you would!" -- Anon

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Challenge #02602-G045: The Motivation Solution

What are you doing?

No, don't jump down here!

WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS??? -- Anon Guest

Here's the thing with having Humans on your ship. Sometimes they are young Humans and don't always know the rules of proper behaviour. It is difficult to know which Humans are capable and which are... less... capable until such time as they reveal their limits. Humans are a relatively unknown species and those taking the risks of their company on the Edge are more or less

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Challenge #02579-G022: What the Feces?

You’re shit is an insult, you’re the shit is a complement. You’re not shit is a reassurance, and fuck this shit is not related to the previous phrases. -- Anon Guest

Humans don't have to be confusing, but they will frequently do it anyway. Their idioms, axioms, and expressions are many, varied, and assumed to be understood by everyone. This can hold true for some Human words, as well. Enormous papers have been written on the versatility of some

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Challenge #02574-G017: Art Supplies of Mass Destruction

A havenworlder has a human as a godparent and they love to teach there godchild stuff like survival tips, human pop culture and other things the child's parents would rather them not know. -- Cheshire

Having a godparent, goodparent, or other form of honorary family member is such a Deathworlder concept. Grown Deathworlders are aware of the fragile nature of mortality and have culturally instituted the concept of spare parental figures. This comes in handy for Havenworlders who are, culturally speaking, just

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Challenge #02556-G001: Tearful Appreciation

"Are you alright?" The same question they got lots of times when tears would fall down their cheeks. Of course, they understood the Galactics were not used to seeing a human crying when nothing was wrong, obviously. They were sitting with their friends watching a video that showed incredible sunrises and sunsets from various worlds with a background for these wonders being the sound of an orchestra increasing the richness of the experience. And, as always, they wiped their cheeks and said

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Challenge #02555-F365: It's So Relaxing

Oh, I can't really handle all the excitement and action in FPS, especially the PVP ones. I much prefer simulation games, like Frost Punk! You build your little town, and manage resources, and try not to let all your people freeze to death or starve or something. Nice, relaxing fun. -- Anon Guest

Humans love to play. Their play takes every form you could imagine and some that seem incredibly unlikely. Some play involves flinging themselves physically at obstacles, off obstacles, or

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Challenge #02543-F353: Good Kitty

A nonhuman deathworlder learning about major depressive disorder and suicidal ideation from a human so used to suffering from those that they treat the loss of their medication as an inconvenience, and apologize to the poor sap they got stranded with while they ask them to keep an eye out for self destructive behaviors.

"So, I've only got a few days worth of my meds, and it'll be at least a couple of weeks before we get rescued. Mind keeping an eye

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Challenge #02540-F350: Wandering Minds

On earth in various places, there are buskers. People who will put down a hat, box, bowl, or other container and then will play music, sing, or otherwise entertain in the hope of donations. Then there are the flash mobs. Large groups of individuals who will coordinate a time where they will come together. They will mill about in a crowd and then, at a predesignated time, one individual will throw off their jacket or other covering and, in costume, begin to

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Challenge #02538-F348: Goodnight Everybody

A: Ok look I only have a sawed shotty and a 9mm and I don’t want to fight anything that is bigger than a baby moose. Also if you see a bear follow this rhyme “brown lay down, black fight back, white good night”

B: but can’t you fight back with your weapons?

A: Yes and no. First off the bears in these regions are bulletproof, hell most bears are. More than anything firing this will piss them off

B:

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Challenge #02537-F347: Many Ways to Pack Bond

The havenworlders hire a human who docks their ship to the havenworlder's own larger research vessel and uses that for their quarters rather than what the havenworlders have provided. When asked why, the human simply responds "It's better this way." But does not care to elaborate. The reason behind the why becomes clear when a havenworlder goes in to bring a gift to the human that has become such a kind friend and asset, when the havenworlder hears horrific screaming coming from

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