Childcare

A 14-post collection

Challenge #03155-H246: The Right Kind of Electronic Babysitter

Several children, Humans, Havenworlders, and other Deathworlders, trapped together in the nursery. The power had gone out and the doors had locked. Everyone was scared, then someone started singing. Soon each youngster took turns singing their favorite lullabies their parentals would sing them to sooth them, and, as a result, when rescue finally got to them, all the kids were contentedly close to each other, peacefully asleep. The first singer? An independant AI nanny who'd just finished charging and unplugged just as the power had gone down. -- Anon Guest

N4N-E had to take some time to examine their initialisation footage. The children had been engaged in play and, as they began their warm-up procedure, the lights had gone out. Night mode engaged, filling N4N-E's visual input with shades of green. Their audio input filled with shrieks and screaming. Danger assessment became priority one.

Passive air circulation was in operation. Infonets down as the electricity had failed. Other AI's around the station were using more primitive radio bands to ping each other. The children were not hurt. Just panicked. Crying.

Initiate subsystem "calm and orderly". N4N-E ran their star-field lights and launched one of the soporific tunes. "Allouette, gentile allouette/ Allouette je te plumerai..."

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Challenge #03140-H231: Loco Parentis

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana Who?"

"Knock Knock"

exasperated! "WHO'S THERE??"

"Orange"

sigh! "Orange who?'

"Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?"

GROAN!!!!! -- Anon Guest

Some stages of childhood development seem to be a test of the parental's endurance. Some of those kids really make strangers wonder how they survive to adulthood. Just one of those stages is the discovery of jokes.

"Hey... hey... hey... hey...? Why do beans like to live

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Challenge #03090-H182: Baby on Board

A Human toddler is flying for their first time with their parents. They'd never been off-world before and they were excited. The toddler was being brought to a medical facility on a station for a surgical procedure, though as active as they are people would never realize they were sick. With them were several Havenworlders including one who looked for all the world like a large, fluffy, bipedal canine in basic ship's skins. Problem is, the toddler would not stop trying to

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Challenge #02893-G336: A Cup of Tea and a Biscuit

Ah little Pib. How about them sneaking back into the captain's quarters and trying to talk the captain into playing dress-up and having snacks, having dragged a bunch of mismatched clothing with them? :-D After all, from experience, boys and girls, don't matter, they always seem to love to play dress-up and then have snacks and juice together with their friends.

https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02767-g210-the-problem-with-pib -- Anon Guest

Pib had a big bag. Big enough to hold a bottle of

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Challenge #02853-G296: Sticky Plus Parts Equals Trouble

I would very much like to know what happened with the screwdriver and the lollipop in greater detail, please. -- Escla

[AN: The problem with Noodle Incidents is that the telling of the tale never matches the imagination resulting from the implications]

Pib was bored. Mama had fallen asleep, which meant that Pib could get into the no-no's. Pib knew it was naughty, but the no-no's were way more interesting than any of the allowed stuff. Most of the time the worst

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Challenge #02851-G294: Three Whacks With a Wet Noodle

Deathworlder parents mete out appropriate punishments to misbehaving deathworlder children. Chastisement to non-deathworlders is often much lighter, even if handed out by the same caregivers, and for good reason.

Human parent to human children: "Present butts!" (brandishes foam bat)

Human parent to non-human children: "I'm very disappointed in you" (pins children with The Look)

All children: "Wow, I got off easy compared to the other group" -- Anon Guest

[AN(&PSA): DO NOT BEAT YOUR CHILDREN FOR FLAKK'S SAKE! That is

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Challenge #02768-G211: Disturbing Deathworlder Deeds

Ki'it thought ze was ready. Ze had survived Human Kev's "oops"es, learned to anticipate Human Lin's "I know what I did wrong!"s, and even managed to halve zer dosage of calming medication after a half dozen of Human Ren's "uh-oh..."s.

This, however, was zer introduction to the dreaded, "Wheeeee!!!! Again!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: You are of course free to use any gender-neutral pronouns you love in prompts... it's just that I cannot conjugate anything else than ze/hir.

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Challenge #02767-G210: The Problem With Pib

More Human Pib, please. -- Escla

[AN: Referencing this thing BTW ]

Havenworlders were on edge, some were seeking out places to hide. Some were seeking out places where something might be hiding. The entire crew of the Jaunty Merchant were operating under a Code Giggle.

Human Pib had escaped.

Humans Orgo and Lun were checking their entire quarters, and every nook and cranny therein. They were doing this for the fiftieth time since Human Pib had "turned up missing". The fact that

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Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Everyone's heard of the Terrible Twos. Well, everyone who's familiar with raising human infants. A piece of information that's been surprisingly slow to make its way around, though, is that those years are only so terrible because the little ones have wants and needs and thoughts that they don't know how to communicate; a combination of not being exposed to the words for what they feel and having tongues too big for their mouths, making it near impossible to articulate the words

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Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

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Challenge #02519-F329: For the Greater Good

Several Enforcers of Pax Humanis teamed up and took down a pirate's ship. They were tearing the ship apart from the inside-out when one hears crying in one of the cargo holds. Tearing the hold's doors off, they find dozens of children, human and haven-worlder, locked in cages with price tags already printed on the tops of them. Now they have children to care for, and the potential buyers? Were about to get a lesson in what it meant to mess with

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Challenge #02241-F051: Courage Pour L'enfents

There is no living creature more dangerous than a mother wanting to protect children. Even if the mother is an Havenworlder. -- Anon Guest

The UFTP vessel Vengeance tried their best to make it to the Havenworld Yannomar in time. They had pushed everything to the limit, including the Human crew. They had hoped to make it in time to save lives, and found scenes of devastation instead. Too late. The Konthar had already struck, and apparently left the southern continents in

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Challenge #02234-F044: Incidental Hazards

Young children like to lounge on people, caregivers and companions alike. Do other species deal with this? -- Anon Guest

There is an instinct almost universal to the young of any given species. Stay close to your caregiver. Once able to move about free of the nest/clutch/creche/pouch, the caregiver is still a bastion of protection, font of education, and primary source of emotional resilience. In species with communal childrearing, any older member of the species will do.

Which was

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Challenge #02233-F043: Greatest Responsibility

What would an intergalactic nursery look like? -- Anon Guest

Multi-species infant care is a fascinating workplace to begin with. For each species, there are separate demands beyond the standards of clean, warm, and comfortable. There are some general rules, like mammals do best when fed on their parental secretions. Reptilian life forms, for instance, get essential gut bacteria from their parentals' regurgitations. Some, like Humans, thrive with the assistance of gentle physical contact. Others are too frail to be disturbed until

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