Parenting

A 9-post collection

Challenge #02762-G205: My What Big Ears...

"OW! [Fornication] [excrement]! What the [undesirable afterlife] did I just step on?!" -- Anon Guest

Some toys were made to be weaponised into anti-personnel measures. One has, by logic and design, a set of small, modular, interlocking bricks designed to be parts of a creativity toy for children. Children are renowned for not putting away their toys, or not being very vigilant at doing so. There are, to children, much better things to do than looking for tiny building blocks.

Most adults would agree, until their unprotected feet meet with the unexpected caltrop in the darkness. At that moment, all pretense of attempting to stealthily check the whimpering in the night-time fly out of the nearest available portal. There is only one reaction to finding the sharp corners of the unexpected building-block lurking in the gloom. Most of them are words that the under-fives should not hear.

Very little has changed since modular building blocks were invented. Even in times far-flung from their origin, they still exist as playthings and they are still painful to tread on. Fortunately for parents, there are such things as audio filters that bowdlerise offensive language. Unfortunately, the default setting is for technical terminology.

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Challenge #02698-G141: Annoying to Some

3-5 y/o Human child can ask around 437 questions per day. Can you imagine some scientist who need to babysit curious kid who in one second can ask question about quantum physics and before you can even start to answer the same child ask you why cheese is yellow? -- Anon Guest

"One question at a time, please. If you want answers, you must wait to hear the answer."

"Why?"

"If you do not wait, you do not get an answer.

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Challenge #02649-G092: What Works For Some

A species that usually has mated groups of 3 or more, but never less, and upon meeting two bonded Humans and understanding there is no third is all prepared to be appropriately sympathetic for their Human’s loss of mate(s) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Reminder to all readers that Polyamory between consenting parties is a legitimate relationship option for Humans as well as alien life]

"Marriage is a sacred bond between three to five people. No more, no less." -- Xyltarxian

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Challenge #02640-G083: Why is it So?

(Not related to the other "Why" but got me thinking) A young child begins the "Why Game" with another species. The parent offers them an out but they politely decline. Curiosity is an enviable trait and they will continue to answer for as long as the child asks... ...A small crowd of interested and amused people has begun to form, with some stepping in to field questions from their own specialties. A few humans encourage their children to join in as the

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Challenge #02623-G066: Occupational Hazards

A: Human, why are you eating with your off hand?

B: Oh, I sprained my dominant hand. It should be better in a few days, maybe a week.

A: WHAT WERE YOU DOING???

B: Cleaning the walls.

A: What.

B: Well, the kids left hand prints on the walls.

A: Just use the auto-cleaner.

B: Auto-cleaner's not rated for bio-hazardous materials.

A: WHAT DID THEY PUT ON THE WALLS???

B: Their own feces. It was disgusting. They did it while I was

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Challenge #02583-G026: Ma Yub

There are two kinds of parents. There's the kind that thinks their children should have the experiences that they had when they were a child, and there's the kind that thinks their children should have something better than that.

The problem with being that second kind, I've found, is that it's hard to give your children something better when you don't really know what that looks like. -- Anon Guest

Bringing up the next generation of cogniscent life is never easy. Certainly,

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Challenge #01575-D114: Ruination in Paradise

This is a quote from Patrick Swayze: "The way to screw up somebody's life is to give them what they want." -- Anon Guest

The woman in the beautiful dress picked her out from a line of other poor orphans, and promised Lux everything she could ever want. Lux had wanted to keep her more common name, but the glittering lady insisted that all of her life accessories had to fit her lifestyle, and thus renamed her new child Luxury. Her own

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Lies, damn lies, and Mayhem

My son seems to be a pathological liar.

I’ve reduced his computer time. I catch him out and lecture him EVERY single time [average: about 5 times a day, including made-up stories to “fit in” with the conversation]. We’ve even spent an entire night telling lies to him so he gets an idea about how frustrating it is to live with a liar.

He still lies.

He lies to get the things he wants. He lies

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