Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Everyone's heard of the Terrible Twos. Well, everyone who's familiar with raising human infants. A piece of information that's been surprisingly slow to make its way around, though, is that those years are only so terrible because the little ones have wants and needs and thoughts that they don't know how to communicate; a combination of not being exposed to the words for what they feel and having tongues too big for their mouths, making it near impossible to articulate the words they do know.

All of this can be circumvented with any form of sign language and a bit of effort to introduce more vocabulary on the part of the caretaker(s).

That said, toddlers are universally curious, not so good at thinking ahead, more mobile than expected, and surprisingly good at disassembling everything they come across in an effort to find out what's inside. What happens when a mixed-species daycare, meant for the young offspring of ship-board passengers, finds itself saddled with a toddling human who, while familiar with instructions to be "gentle" with soft, furry friends (in an effort to get them to stop yanking the poor skitty's fur and sticking their fingers up the dog's nose), hasn't gotten the memo that the whole of the universe isn't familiar with the cobbled-together signing vocabulary they use with their parents to communicate such vital things as "baby eat waffle" and "baby drink juice" when they want something specific. -- Anon Guest

The Human toddler is a primer on Human instincts with a negative impulse control. They are all action and very little in the way of reason. Even the Humans who spawn them are shocked by the mobility of a small being with legs less than a quarter of the length of an adult's. Their capacity for improvisation can boggle even the most experienced minds.

As for the inexperienced minds... Meet Laeth. Ze has had the presence of mind to keep the Havenworlder children separate from the Deathworlders, but this was the fourth time ze had captured the very small Human Pip attempting to open the keycard-locked door to get into the Havenworlder rooms.

"Pip, you should go back to the room you came from. That is a better place to play." Laeth, one of the many who were carers for the children, moved hirself to gently herd Human Pip back to the chamber from whence they had come.

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Challenge #02711-G154: Helping Companions

An instructor greets his new students in the class known as "Know Your Human" A class meant to prepare various individuals for the maddeningly wonderful work known as being a human's companion.

It is well known that humans are insane, dangerous, and violent. And yet, they are also the most gentle, kind, thoughtful, and soothing species in the galaxy. You will find they are wild, yet tame, they are beyond stupid, yet terrifyingly brilliant, they brought their furry headaches known as cats,

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I've done all the dumb things...

Well. Technically, I've only done some of the grand total of silly mistakes and bad choices that Humanity is capable of. I'm not completing the set because I refuse to treat people like things and I won't endorse violence against minorities. Hell, I won't even try to defend it. Those peeps are bad. End of.

Ahem.

Dumb things I have done:

  • Ordered flour to my Auspost Locker, not knowing whether or not their delivery company delivered there [spoilers: they don't]
  • Gave myself
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Challenge #02710-G153: Paradox Wreck

As a warning for any future scientist: Do not hook up a warp-drive engine to a gravity-generator. you will create a gravity cannon that will obliterate 1/3 of a class zegalbond warship, but also lose 1/3 of you blood without any wounds. -- Anon Guest

They called it 'warp drive' in flagrant violation of copyright at the time of the wreck's discovery. What it did was create a temporary 'soft spot' between real space and the parallel dimensional brane known

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Nothing is Over Yet

The American news is all about the riots, and even then, they're trying the usual flock of D's1 to either keep the people scared or keep the people shopping. They would like to believe that Covid-19 is over because the news isn't as loud about the statistics, but it's still raging over there. Plus it's looking like that second wave is revving up close to the source.

Fun times.

Police violence is all over my news feeds and nobody is talking

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Challenge #02709-G152: Fixes Any Problem

A: "Just how many things do you humans make out of that stuff?"

H: Pulling yet another roll of the silvery duct tape from his bag. "Oh, quite a fair few. Wallets, flowers, clothing, water bags, plates, bowls, shoes, weapons, you name it. Oop, hold the bow still, if we're going to get back to the space port, I need to finish this boat and then make the thing's sail."

A: "You can't be serious, we're really going to be going all

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Wednesday Again

Instead of writing Or You're a Terrorist, I think I'll do a thing about the Muppet's latest stance against what he calls "Antifa Terrorists". This overripe citrus clearly does not understand that "antifa" is short for "anti-fascism".

Either that or he does understand it and has telegraphed the knockout punch to justice in the United States. Those hapless sheeple who still worship him will still remain willfully ignorant of such until it actually lands on them... and by then it will be

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Challenge #02708-G151: Bug of Contention

The two humans in this ship are really close. They will do nearly anything to save the other. On the other claw, they destroyed the training room arguing about whether a certain earth insect is a lighting bug or firefly. -- Anon Guest

The two Ships' Humans were out of breath, bruising, and one of them had a dark reddish-brown ichor leaking from their nose. They were also kept well out of each other's grip by the presence of Companion Jorx directly

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Here's teh PLN

I am going to write this blog and then go to Foodways with my tail between my legs and red all over my face because I've forgot about the cream since THURSDAY.

Then I shall return with whatever cream they still have and get on with today's output.

I have a new chapter of KOSBOB for all my dear readers and I might even have some more of Lust of the Demon Lord - I dunno. I also have been bitten in

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Challenge #02707-G150: Rescue From Vulnerability

Some level four, and level five, havenworlders know their species is quite fragile. They also know that, in order to survive, to thrive, in this harsh universe, they need to grow stronger. With that in mind, and speaking to other havenworlders that were of higher levels, they all agreed training was in order. They hire a team of humans to help them learn to grow stronger. So, when they have their children, their children will be born stronger. The plan was for

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Monday, at 1AM

Instead of waking early to join the stream, I was woken at half-past eleven by Chaos doing a silly run. I figured that, since I was due to actually wake at half-past midnight, I might as well get out there and prepare for the nonsense.

Today's nonsense, whether or not it includes an art stream, will definitely include house unfuckening, a daily tale, and a goal of 200 words.

I didn't easily over-write, last week, so that's my cue to stay at

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Challenge #02706-G149: Terrifying Titans

Crabs are a universal constant. So much so that they are used in first contact. Earth is strange for the amount of crab types that we have. Keep them away from the Japanese spider crab though. The first alien to see one said it was the equivalent of an eldritch monstrosity. -- CyberStrikeBeast

[AN: go to your favourite search engine and look up "Christmas Island crab migration," and then "Coconut crab". Sweet dreams :D ]

Welcome to Earth. We have weird crustaceans. Honestly,

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I am legendary

Yesterday, acknowledging that my family was HEAVILY into the bread I baked [because butt, possibly], I set out to make more bread so we'd actually have some for the week.

I actually baked it on the same day I mixed it. Let me tell you. Sourdough is S-L-O-W. I perfected a mixing method much like a cat making itself comfortable, and it turned out amazingly.

I should have given it four folds, but it still turned out well. I also should have

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Challenge #02705-G148: Apparently This is Normal

Humans are insane. Definitely. Undeniably. Humans are insane by the standards of the greater galactic community. That did not prepare anyone for the sight of one of the passengers, at most five from the look of them, possibly younger from the sound of them, seizing a mug meant to hold hot liquids, approaching their nearest parent, and saying:

"Hey! Where my coffee?"

That the desired liquid turned out to be hot cocoa that the child was only pretending was coffee did little

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