Humans are Insane

A 180-post collection

Challenge #03191-H282: This is Us, Us is Good.

"Human? I've been studying your world's history, as much as I safely can, why is it so many people seemed so happy to kill each other for a piece of colored cloth?" -- Anon Guest

Human Van thought, very briefly, about saying, Oh, it got worse than that. There had been those perfectly willing to indirectly murder the weaker of their own kind just so they could "live pure". There were those who were ready and eager to use an army's worth of guns to "protect their nation" but stopped at wearing a piece of fabric to protect their neighbours.

Things got really strange before Humanity discovered the plethora of one-way wormholes that - more or less - allowed the nuts to sort themselves into their own cans.

Instead of all that, Human Van took the higher road. They said, "It was like... team sports. Win or lose, you support your team. You cheer for them, buy the merchandise, celebrate and riot when they win, just riot when they lose. Call every foul against them and ignore the ones they perpetuate. Y'know... because, if the team you love did something wrong, that makes you a bad person by association." At Companion Aradd's blank stare, they added, "Human Illogic."

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Challenge #02950-H027: For Art's Sake

They were a rough and ready, "come at me" space marine. They had seen quite a few battles and had the scars to prove it, and won them all. They'd also worked with dozens of races from the roughest deathworlders to the gentlest havenworlders, the perfect person you wanted aboard ship when exploring out on the edge. Yet, each meal break, if they had few other duties, they were unusually quiet. When they moved into their quarters, other than the tools of

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Challenge #02925-H002: He Prefers the First Option

Violence is never the answer. But it’s a very effective solution -- Anon Guest

There are two potential results of being the deadliest person in armed or unarmed combat. One is that nobody wants to mess with you. The other, paradoxically, is that everyone wants to mess with you. It's a thing. Once you get a reputation for being the biggest thing in the known universe, everyone who thinks they can be a bigger thing wants to take you on as

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Challenge #02897-G340: Mistakes Were Made

The first thing they noticed was the running, stumbling humans, exiting a building. The second thing they noticed was that the humans that weren't too busy choking and gasping were shouting "put on your livesuits!" and "we need particle masks!"

Once the fire had been extinguished and the building was airing out, the story of What Happened This Time was told.

It was a story involving Carolina Reapers and a malfunctioning kitchen fan. Every human involved had the same thing to say

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Challenge #02833-G276: Safety Except...

A new class of therapists are going through training and tonight's lecture is about human psychology, past and present, when it came to the sciences and medical treatment. They were to watch an info video on humans in the early 21st century and their reactions to life-prolonging measures such as getting vaccinations to prevent disease, and wearing masks to try to control viral spreads during pandemics. And this, then was compared to the behaviors seen in the modern day. -- DaniAndShali

The

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Challenge #02779-G222: And There Was Only One Bed

Archivist finds a Treasure Trove in a Library's donation of 'source material, just old papers'. Stored in time seal conditions. Just one problem to the end of all their funding problems it was all hand written. -- Anon Guest

It was a sealed box in one of the Pre-Shattering Permaplastics. Someone had scrawled, "rando papers" in permanent marker across the lid. Scanners indicated that it was still hermetically sealed. This required care and attention to detail.

Good thing the Archivaas were an

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Challenge #02769-G212: An Ounce of Foresight

Human Jane is calm compared to the others, but always carries a cocky attitude. Arguing with the others claiming they will destroy the ship. The day was like no other noise but in a sense calm, until Jane suddenly rose from her chair and dashed into the halls. The moment she left the room an explosion was heard from the training room. -- Anon Guest

Humans are their own health hazard. This is known on an intellectual level to many, but most

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Challenge #02763-G206: Makes Sense?

A: Why everyone is releasing stress hormones?

B: oh, it's just turbulence -- Anon Guest

Humans are unfathomable. Sil had been seated near this one since Faranaway Station, a process involving a lot of stops and hazards, and at least two journeys through Hyperspace. Now that they were on their destination planet, the Human Qin was exhibiting high levels of stress.

Sil checked. They still had the same destination area in their itinerary. "What is the matter? Why are you exuding stress

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Challenge #02752-G195: For the Thrills

The human is sitting with aliens who study the weather and they show some old videos, first giving offensensitivity warnings, of human storm chasers. They explain the jobs of the storm chasers, the dangers, and what was learned from those brave men and women who sometimes lost their lives in the pursuit of scientific discovery. They also explained of storm-tourists. Those insane adrenaline junkies who would go with storm chasers to catch a glimpse of storms like tornadoes, to be able to

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Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

The ship is being raided by pirates, you and the human locked yourselves in the storage bay. The human is applying some liquid on their skin, asking “could you help me put on the shield generator?” You assisted them asking what they trying to do. “I’m gonna do a old scare tactic” while talking they snap their fingers and flames begin to cover their arms -- Anon Guest

Humans are insane. Many people acknowledge this on an intellectual level as most

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Challenge #02705-G148: Apparently This is Normal

Humans are insane. Definitely. Undeniably. Humans are insane by the standards of the greater galactic community. That did not prepare anyone for the sight of one of the passengers, at most five from the look of them, possibly younger from the sound of them, seizing a mug meant to hold hot liquids, approaching their nearest parent, and saying:

"Hey! Where my coffee?"

That the desired liquid turned out to be hot cocoa that the child was only pretending was coffee did little

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Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud

In the depts of the Archive, a Song was found. It was made Public property.

Naturally, Pax Humanis found a good use for it....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6yvrfOfLc

(Sorry, Not Sorry!) ;-) -- Mike

[AN: Warning for ten-hour video. Please don't do that to us again?]

War is an endless cycle. Tactics circle around and come blasting back from the past. In such cases, the siege turns an impasse into an endurance test. Of course, there are strategies to

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Challenge #02675-G118: The Bad Old Ways

A human got tired of the crew saying that humans are insane, so they decide to show their crew what true human insanity looks like by taking them on a field trip to the nearby insane asylum. (Bonus points if Said asylum happens to be Arkham Asylum.) -- Cheshire

[AN: Punishing the mentally disabled for being mentally disabled is not the best way to deal with that sort of thing. Besides, insanity is a matter of perspective, as I keep stating in

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Challenge #02647-G090: Re-inventing the Love

Love is gracious, love is kind, love is forgiving, love can turn you insane as easily it is made in a lab. -- Anon Guest

Love. Love is strange. -- Terran Folk Song, Pre-Shattering.

Too many people have attempted to define love. The problem, of course, is that there are many, many kinds. Familial, fraternal, passionate, platonic, friendly, true, unrequited... the list goes on and on. Love does many things to the mind, especially to Humans, who start out as borderline insane.

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Challenge #02645-G088: Getting to Know You

“Try not to read my my mind, I am running five jokes in my head, that will possibly offend you and make you laugh. Another part of my head is accidentally reminiscing about college and now internally screaming. My lizard brain want food. And the rest is upholding this conversation.”

“First off, how did you block my mind scan, and secondly - lizard brain?”

“Oh a part of the human brain can be traced back to a reptilian ancestor thus it is

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