Humans are Insane

A 166-post collection

Challenge #02645-G088: Getting to Know You

“Try not to read my my mind, I am running five jokes in my head, that will possibly offend you and make you laugh. Another part of my head is accidentally reminiscing about college and now internally screaming. My lizard brain want food. And the rest is upholding this conversation.”

“First off, how did you block my mind scan, and secondly - lizard brain?”

“Oh a part of the human brain can be traced back to a reptilian ancestor thus it is dubbed the lizard brain. Speaking of lizards...” a green creature crawled out of the human sleeves. “Her name is Shelby.”

“That does not explain the mind scan.” -- Anon Guest

As a survival tactic, telepathy is not one of the more common evolutionary stepstones. Those who have it, of course, think it's vital until they eventual fact that other telepathic species are very rare and other cogniscents don't know how to do Private Thoughts.

That's when they learn to adapt to tuning out the seas of mental babble, or at least shutting themselves off from it until they consciously scan other minds. The Melil are experts at this, having learned their lessons and returned to teach those at home how to protect themselves before they encounter the harsh truth.

Of the telepathic species, the Melil are the most widely-spread because of their practical approach to non-telepathic encounters. Nevertheless, there are still some encounters that surprise even them. Like having a Human block them upon first greeting.

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Challenge #02642-G085: The Honest Mood

Walks in

"tbqh idfk"

leaves -- Anon Guest

[AN: OP, I had to leave the link out because this is a mostly-PG exercise of mine and fetish-adjacent material is not safe for any minors who may have wandered in.]

Human Jor spoke in abbreviations. This caused some trouble for the crew she was Ship's Human for, but on the up side, she also provided a phrasebook. Simple words like "yes" or "no" became tonal grunts. Human Jor had a set of initials

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Challenge #02636-G079: Gone to the Dogs

A human explains to their havenworlder crewmates about how they used to compete into the internationally famous dog-sled race known as the Iditarod. And how much fun that was! :-)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IditarodTrailSledDogRace -- Anon Guest

"I think I understand the concept as a means of alternative transit," said Gorx, Havenworlder tourist. "I understand the competitive nature of Humans." It was hard not to understand that through the multitude of examples.

"So what's missing?" asked

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Challenge #02598-G041: A Lasting Reminder

There was this one abandoned space station where humans liked to paint graffitis and do other illegal stuff. When authorities find out they started to patrolling this place. After months of punishments, fines and even prison owners finally rebuild whole place and even let humans paint on special walls. It was this moment when illegal started to be legal. The very next day there was giant graffiti inside the biggest and most secured space station in the whole galaxy. -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #02562-G005: The Work Around

A disabled human ("invisible" disability) from a...less than understanding society, grown to adulthood and full of the painful little quirks and habits that one develops in order to survive that situation, encounters a member of the Galactic Alliance. A member of the Galactic Alliance who isn't sure what to do with a deathworlder who apologizes for displaying distress, and cries from joy when not berated for showing signs of pain when "there's nothing wrong" -- Anon Guest

They call me Human

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Challenge #02560-G003: Human NO!

A: A Dyson sphere just millions of solar panels covering a star

B: But why do we need that much energy?

A: To make a black hole bomb

B: WAIT NO

https://youtu.be/ulCdoCfw-bY -- Anon Guest

Ever since Nikola Tesla accidentally invented radio[1], Humanity has been obsessed with transmitting energy without using some form of wire between points A and B. The instant they had the means, they switched to becoming obsessed with gathering as much energy as possible.

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Challenge #02541-F351: Labels and Assumptions

Several humans were starting to get more than just a little annoyed at constantly being called insane. Even at school, when their kids would goof off during breaks or if the kids were in the park playing, others treated them as though they were mind-damaged. When they joined the Galactic Alliance, they thought they would be treated like equals, but instead, they find that they tend to be treated like savages even by other Deathworlders. Sometimes the view that, simply because they

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Challenge #02534-F344: Designed For Disaster

There are reasons why humans coined the term “idiot proofing”, many MANY reasons -- Anon Guest

Make it idiot proof and the world will invent a better idiot -- Human engineering axiom.

It was a Human who came up with Murphy's Law, and further Humans who came up with all the associated corollaries. Humans investigated them all, invented science to prove them, and then invented science that provided vital analysis into the reasons why it was so.

All devices made by Humans

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Challenge #02533-F343: In the Eye of the Storm

Humans don't all celebrate Silly Seasons. Some find it disorienting, some have been damaged, some protest aspects of the culture/celebration in question, some just don't care, and occasionally they're not 'in the mood.' For those who've resigned themselves to the boisterous Silly Season, a human who doesn't conform to the human 'norm' is actually more alarming than everything else they've prepared to tolerate. -- Anon Guest

Silly Season is not a set festival, as many new to the Galactic Alliance

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Challenge #02531-F341: Conflict of Interests

Don’t worry we’re completely safe

explosion

Relatively safe

laughter in the distance

As long we don’t move from here, we’re safe

door flies open

I think it’s best if we leave -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, you have hit one of my favourite tropes - the chain of circumstantial self-correction. I confess to laughing out loud]

There used to be two absolute certainties in the universe - death and taxes. However, after the Humans entered the Galactic

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Challenge #02512-F322: One Complex Thought Experiment in the Void

An empath and a sociopath trying to help each other interact with people. -- Anon Guest

Here are two humans. Call them Abe and Bee. Abe cares too much about others and other's feelings, to the point of neglecting their own. Bee doesn't care about anyone but themself. They are both abnormal Humans. They are both trying to get back to civilisation as they know it with a group of strangers for a crew on their kludged vessel. They're a rag-tag bunch

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Challenge #02502-F312: In a Minute

A: not exactly “capture” more like take a moment and put it on a pixelated screen. Here

B: is something supposed to be on this slate?

A: what? It’s right here can’t you see?

B: see?

A: when light passes through ya eyeball

B: light? -- Anon Guest

There were moments like this all over Galactic Space. One participant in a conversation would realise that the other they had been communicating with freely until this moment did not possess the

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Challenge #02497-F307: Beginning to Look a Lot Like TERROR

A: oh god, oh fuck it’s happening again

B: what? What wrong?

A: not again, I’m not strong enough

B: for what?!

A: it’s coming, it’s coming

B: WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING

A: Christmas -- Anon Guest

Some Humans are major league into their holidays. Often to the point that Station Regulations have to intervene in regards to what is on public display. Some are not very excited by their holidays, and some... despise them. Companion Huruk

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Challenge #02494-F304: Mr Sunshine's New Friend

His name was Mr. Sunshine. One of the better known, and as properly feared, members of Pax Humanis. He had been working on a station for some time now when he meets a member of a fluffy, bipedal, cat-like species. They were frequent visitors to this station because it was one of the regular trade stops along their delivery route. They delivered medical supplies and mail, mostly. And, occasionally, carried passengers. One young female of the species meets the cat-loving Mr. Sunshine

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Challenge #02491-F301: The Human Definition

Trying to help humans better integrate into Galactic Civilization, several individuals, scholars, medics, psychologists, ect, get together and begin to travel to areas where there are lots of humans. Their goal is to write a new manual on human psychology, health - both mental and physical, how to interact with humans, to debunk misconceptions about humans, etc. Amongst the team are, in fact, several humans to help. Their job is to help the Galactics separate fact from assumption and write a comprehensive

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