Humans are Insane

A 178-post collection

Challenge #02925-H002: He Prefers the First Option

Violence is never the answer. But it’s a very effective solution -- Anon Guest

There are two potential results of being the deadliest person in armed or unarmed combat. One is that nobody wants to mess with you. The other, paradoxically, is that everyone wants to mess with you. It's a thing. Once you get a reputation for being the biggest thing in the known universe, everyone who thinks they can be a bigger thing wants to take you on as a form of shortcut.

It's always those who have never seen actual combat who are gung-ho for war. Humans have taken to calling them "chicken hawks," in that they're always crying out for war but the last in line to go to the actual front. Humans are far too familiar with the type. Similarly, it's always those who are new to fighting who believe they are the best whoever was.

Which leads, inevitably, to the situation in which Human Ji finds himself. He was just trying to take some time off in the tea garden and someone recognised his current appearance[1] and decided to be one of those organic waste vents. Ji knew what was coming and what was going to happen mere instants after the young swagger in the livesuit said, "Hey, you're Ji Sythe-Wymann! You think you're hot stuff, don't you?"

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Challenge #02897-G340: Mistakes Were Made

The first thing they noticed was the running, stumbling humans, exiting a building. The second thing they noticed was that the humans that weren't too busy choking and gasping were shouting "put on your livesuits!" and "we need particle masks!"

Once the fire had been extinguished and the building was airing out, the story of What Happened This Time was told.

It was a story involving Carolina Reapers and a malfunctioning kitchen fan. Every human involved had the same thing to say

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Challenge #02833-G276: Safety Except...

A new class of therapists are going through training and tonight's lecture is about human psychology, past and present, when it came to the sciences and medical treatment. They were to watch an info video on humans in the early 21st century and their reactions to life-prolonging measures such as getting vaccinations to prevent disease, and wearing masks to try to control viral spreads during pandemics. And this, then was compared to the behaviors seen in the modern day. -- DaniAndShali

The

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Challenge #02779-G222: And There Was Only One Bed

Archivist finds a Treasure Trove in a Library's donation of 'source material, just old papers'. Stored in time seal conditions. Just one problem to the end of all their funding problems it was all hand written. -- Anon Guest

It was a sealed box in one of the Pre-Shattering Permaplastics. Someone had scrawled, "rando papers" in permanent marker across the lid. Scanners indicated that it was still hermetically sealed. This required care and attention to detail.

Good thing the Archivaas were an

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Challenge #02769-G212: An Ounce of Foresight

Human Jane is calm compared to the others, but always carries a cocky attitude. Arguing with the others claiming they will destroy the ship. The day was like no other noise but in a sense calm, until Jane suddenly rose from her chair and dashed into the halls. The moment she left the room an explosion was heard from the training room. -- Anon Guest

Humans are their own health hazard. This is known on an intellectual level to many, but most

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Challenge #02763-G206: Makes Sense?

A: Why everyone is releasing stress hormones?

B: oh, it's just turbulence -- Anon Guest

Humans are unfathomable. Sil had been seated near this one since Faranaway Station, a process involving a lot of stops and hazards, and at least two journeys through Hyperspace. Now that they were on their destination planet, the Human Qin was exhibiting high levels of stress.

Sil checked. They still had the same destination area in their itinerary. "What is the matter? Why are you exuding stress

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Challenge #02752-G195: For the Thrills

The human is sitting with aliens who study the weather and they show some old videos, first giving offensensitivity warnings, of human storm chasers. They explain the jobs of the storm chasers, the dangers, and what was learned from those brave men and women who sometimes lost their lives in the pursuit of scientific discovery. They also explained of storm-tourists. Those insane adrenaline junkies who would go with storm chasers to catch a glimpse of storms like tornadoes, to be able to

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Challenge #02716-G159: An Oldie But a Goodie

The ship is being raided by pirates, you and the human locked yourselves in the storage bay. The human is applying some liquid on their skin, asking “could you help me put on the shield generator?” You assisted them asking what they trying to do. “I’m gonna do a old scare tactic” while talking they snap their fingers and flames begin to cover their arms -- Anon Guest

Humans are insane. Many people acknowledge this on an intellectual level as most

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Challenge #02705-G148: Apparently This is Normal

Humans are insane. Definitely. Undeniably. Humans are insane by the standards of the greater galactic community. That did not prepare anyone for the sight of one of the passengers, at most five from the look of them, possibly younger from the sound of them, seizing a mug meant to hold hot liquids, approaching their nearest parent, and saying:

"Hey! Where my coffee?"

That the desired liquid turned out to be hot cocoa that the child was only pretending was coffee did little

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Challenge #02688-G131: Big and Loud

In the depts of the Archive, a Song was found. It was made Public property.

Naturally, Pax Humanis found a good use for it....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6yvrfOfLc

(Sorry, Not Sorry!) ;-) -- Mike

[AN: Warning for ten-hour video. Please don't do that to us again?]

War is an endless cycle. Tactics circle around and come blasting back from the past. In such cases, the siege turns an impasse into an endurance test. Of course, there are strategies to

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Challenge #02675-G118: The Bad Old Ways

A human got tired of the crew saying that humans are insane, so they decide to show their crew what true human insanity looks like by taking them on a field trip to the nearby insane asylum. (Bonus points if Said asylum happens to be Arkham Asylum.) -- Cheshire

[AN: Punishing the mentally disabled for being mentally disabled is not the best way to deal with that sort of thing. Besides, insanity is a matter of perspective, as I keep stating in

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Challenge #02647-G090: Re-inventing the Love

Love is gracious, love is kind, love is forgiving, love can turn you insane as easily it is made in a lab. -- Anon Guest

Love. Love is strange. -- Terran Folk Song, Pre-Shattering.

Too many people have attempted to define love. The problem, of course, is that there are many, many kinds. Familial, fraternal, passionate, platonic, friendly, true, unrequited... the list goes on and on. Love does many things to the mind, especially to Humans, who start out as borderline insane.

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Challenge #02645-G088: Getting to Know You

“Try not to read my my mind, I am running five jokes in my head, that will possibly offend you and make you laugh. Another part of my head is accidentally reminiscing about college and now internally screaming. My lizard brain want food. And the rest is upholding this conversation.”

“First off, how did you block my mind scan, and secondly - lizard brain?”

“Oh a part of the human brain can be traced back to a reptilian ancestor thus it is

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Challenge #02642-G085: The Honest Mood

Walks in

"tbqh idfk"

leaves -- Anon Guest

[AN: OP, I had to leave the link out because this is a mostly-PG exercise of mine and fetish-adjacent material is not safe for any minors who may have wandered in.]

Human Jor spoke in abbreviations. This caused some trouble for the crew she was Ship's Human for, but on the up side, she also provided a phrasebook. Simple words like "yes" or "no" became tonal grunts. Human Jor had a set of initials

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Challenge #02636-G079: Gone to the Dogs

A human explains to their havenworlder crewmates about how they used to compete into the internationally famous dog-sled race known as the Iditarod. And how much fun that was! :-)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IditarodTrailSledDogRace -- Anon Guest

"I think I understand the concept as a means of alternative transit," said Gorx, Havenworlder tourist. "I understand the competitive nature of Humans." It was hard not to understand that through the multitude of examples.

"So what's missing?" asked

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