Become a Patron!

Humans Are Space Orcs

A 144-post collection

Challenge #02101-E277: Not Dead Yet

humans are hypersensitive to the smell of fresh water, hence why we can smell storms coming. It's so sensitive that we can smell water better than most dogs -- Anon Guest

The Human origin world, Earth to some, Terra to most, has a surface that is over seventy percent water. Thus, it is surprising to most that Humans can detect it. With land in such relative scarcity, most Galactic Citizens assume that finding good soil would be a better priority.

It's a logical assumption, until one learns that most of the water on Terra is not potable. Humans excel at finding fresh water. They can smell it coming in the weather. They can scent it on the air even though it is in a cavern far, far underground. They can find rivers and streams in the time it takes to take a deep breath. Literally.

This one fact has saved many lives.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 24 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #02090-E266: A Bond Cemented With Carbonic Acid

"I'm just joking!… Unless you're down for it." -- TheDragonsFlame

Evidently, Thrass had been contemplating too long. "I am still positing the logistics," she said. "I need time, please."

Human Josh quelled in her place. "Sorry."

Thrass and Human Josh had been through a great deal together. War, survival, relying on each other's strengths and supporting each other's weaknesses. They had really bonded on the long, exhausting, trying trip from the wreck of their ship to the relative safety of the Edge

Read more »

Challenge #02089-E265: Living Corbomite

"I don't know what is happening, but I don't like it"

"Why ?"

"The human is smiling" -- Anon Guest

One of their own writers said it the best: Never trust a creature that smiles all the time, they're up to something. And they were very, very correct. The most frequent portent of doom, next to phrases like, "Hold my beer," or "I think I know what I did wrong," is most definitely a Human smiling in a certain way for a period

Read more »

Challenge #02073-E249: Audio Only

It went plonk, it went kablooey, it went shhhh, and it went blink.

But most importantly, it went whushhhak. -- Anon Guest

Sound was all that was left. The darkness was absolute, and Phel's ability to feel was impaired by the chemicals that the enemy had forced into hir system. Ze learned quickly how the Zebnaki pirates sounded when they moved, and also learned to avoid them. They had patterns of movement, too, and it helped.

Phel made it all the way

Read more »

Challenge #02064-E240: Evac Under Fire

I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. -- TheDragonsFlame

Gorx halted in mid-step. "Surely the Human phrase is, I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Is it not so?"

Human Warin stopped for hir. "Not today. Keep moving. I'll explain on the way." He waited for Gorx to get moving again. "What I just said is a malapropism. A mixing of metaphorical sayings for humour or -in this case- appropriate action." He broke off to race ahead

Read more »

Challenge #02060-E236: The Way to Make Change

Humans gonna Human -- TheDragonsFlame

A mother in a war zone hands her baby up to a complete stranger, knowing that they may never meet again, but her child has a chance at something better than this. Bullets sing through the air. Fire turns the surrounding landscape into tones of amber. And the last evacuation vehicle leaves the few remaining to their fate. The mother smiles anyway, and waves 'bye-bye' to her child. Pretending, perhaps for a last handful of minutes, that

Read more »

Challenge #02059-E235: Betrayal is a Two-Way Street

“You really ought to learn not to be so trusting,” ze sneered. “The world’s a dangerous place.”

“Clearly you’ve never met a pissed-off human before.” She smiled. “Please, allow me to... enlighten you.” -- Anon Guest

The Human interlaced her fingers and twisted them about to make a sound like several walnuts being crushed at once. While the guards were wincing at that intolerable sound, she casually purloined one of their polearms and used it to stun the other one.

Read more »

Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

"[Blank] can't expect us to just cry on command, " Person A muttered. They got a sniffle in reply and when they glanced over the tears were already streaming down person B's face.

"Are you serious?" Person A said.

Person B just grinned at them and choked back a fake sob. -- OohLookShiny

"They don't have much experience with women," Human Jori reminded them. "They operate based entirely off of entertainments, which are full of... regrettable stereotypes."

"Which is why we're wearing pink

Read more »

Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Kill it! Kill it with lethal amounts of Sodium Chloride! -- @internutter

The enormous bipedal chordate flinched under the -pardon the pun- assault. Cried out. And yet, it was still standing after five rounds rapid. Then the assembled Cryptels watched in stunned amazement as the Deathworlder actually licked the powder from its skin.

"Mmmm..." It bared its enormous teeth. "YesthisisexactlywhatIneed."

It actually craved the death mineral. T'lu didn't know what to do. Ze clenched backwards out of instinct as this giant went

Read more »

Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Humanity has always fascinated a certain alien “scientist” shall we say, though in reality they were nothing more than a monster. Their newest “pets” were the result of their most recent experiments in gaslighting and the human phenomenon known as Stockholm syndrome. Never had one so cruel ever known such an horrific punishment by the hands of humanity. -- Sorry

[AN: No you're not]

Beware becoming your obsession. There are many that will eat you alive and not even spit out your

Read more »

Challenge #02043-E219: Through th' Crack's Mirror

Humans had lost against the Fae. The Orcs, and Fairies, Gnomes, and Centaurs, all the "mythical" creatures had banded together and drove us to near extinction. But unlike us, they weren't monsters. We had after all started the war. And the small group of survivors, stripped of magic, were sent to a reality where no natural magic existed. Banished to the fringes, that's where our stories came from, an attempt to keep the history before alive. And remember the times that the

Read more »

Challenge #02042-E218: Something's Happening Here

Love your Humans are space Orcs, especially the ones about Ozzies.

Here is one for you, How even without luck, all humans get gut feelings, warning of unseen dangers and how they can drive out decisions especially in rather precarious situations. -- Adam in Darwin

[AN: Never sweat your spelling. If I can grok your meaning, I'll correct that biz for the post. Hope you haven't gone troppo waiting for this post to happen, and have a Gaytime on me :D ]


Read more »

Challenge #02032-E208: Least Threatening Silhouette

[Title: Words you learn to dread hearing. #1.] "I was only..." -- Knitnan

[AN: Once again I have to remind my dear readers that I don't usually pay attention to the titles of your prompt posts. Doing this sort of thing throws off my rhythm and I've already had a crowded day today]

Humans. They do all kinds of hazardous things without thinking about it. Playing gravity games and forgetting that other beings find these unnerving. Singing songs about death and murder[

Read more »

Challenge #02031-E207: Needs of the Many Can Bite Me

“You’re risking the lives of millions - millions of lives! - for the sake of one.”

“Damn right I am! And besides, I promised I’d get you out of this mess alive, didn’t I?” -- Anon Guest

"But... the needs of the many," objected Koraz.

"Flakk the needs of the many, I made a promise." Human Kaf had his head down and his shoulders hunched. "I keep my word. Wanna fight me about that?"

"No," sighed Koraz with a

Read more »

Challenge #02030-E206: But Not My Friend

“I refuse to let you die”

-- A surprisingly common (and even more surprisingly functional) human phrase.

More lives than can be counted have been saved due to this statement. -- Anon Guest

Flaax had expected to die. That was what happened when the Vorax attacked. People died. Civilisations ended. If one was lucky, wreckage containing last messages to loved ones could be found after the fact.

And then the Humans became part of the Galactic landscape, so to speak. They hunted

Read more »