Humans Are Space Orcs

A 252-post collection

Challenge #02731-G174: A Cautionary Tale

“If you want to hurt a man, do not target him. Target what he loves. Take that which he holds dear to his heart and twist it, corrupt it, or destroy it altogether. Then and only then will you hurt him in a way that he will feel in his soul. But take heed. When you hurt a man in this way, you twist him, corrupt him, drive him to heights of rage never before thought possible. You will have turned that man into a monster, and he will be coming for you.” -- Anon Guest

If you want to hurt a Human - DON'T. -- Galactic Saying

There is a philosophy known mostly to the Greater Deregulations - with enough finance, one can theoretically get away with anything. The trick, of course, is in defining "enough". There's always something that money cannot buy.

In this case, it was safety from Human Zol. To put it briefly, the Oligarch of Greater Deregulation Far Upper East had done her family a great wrong. There isn't a Greater Deregulation Far Upper East any more, and Human Zol is the reason why. Here's how...

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Challenge #02727-G170: Doing What You Can

The human was not the ship's human. They were a passenger. They were also paralyzed from the waist down. When she ship crashed, when the human's movement assistive device was rendered inoperable, when the human found themself trapped in the wreckage with half a dozen fellow passengers, all either injured or too distressed to move... Well. A sufficiently determined human with two working limbs, several cases of dental floss, a non-operative movement assistive device, and six people to still going

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Challenge #02720-G163: A Short Sharp Lesson

Have you even seen humans stomping their feet while chanting the same thing all at once? It’s sometimes hard to believe they’re not a hive mind -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video linked contains swearwords and is a war scene]

They said the Human colonists were sessile. They were weak and vulnerable. Look at them, not a single weapon in their entire set of settlements. They were fat and lazy. Allegedly. I learned, just as many of

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Challenge #02713-G156: Pax Origins

A shockingly smart and devastatingly cruel crew track, hunt, raid, and kill the biggest threats to peaceful ships. -- LatinoThor

They called themselves Dragons, for the ancient tradition marking hazardous seas with, Here There Be Dragons. Their territory was astonishingly vast for what encounter logs suggested was one ship. The last records in the surviving black boxes stated that one ship was seen, but that didn't mean that just one ship was there.

Authorities were slower to act about the attacks, since

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Challenge #02703-G146: Gathering For Time

A human with a fascination with the history and preparation of toxic plants for food is caught in a survival situation, on a death world filled with toxic plants, with a group of havenworlders who require simple sugars. With a scanner, personal knowledge of ancient human techniques for purging toxins from potential foodstuffs to make them edible, and a time limit based on the amount of prepackaged food that survived the crash, this scholar has to find a way to process certain

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Challenge #02687-G130: In Memory of-- Oh Wait

Human: What's everybody so upset about?

Crew: You're here? But you told the Last Lie!

Human: Don't you know me by now? I really hate lying. -- Anon Guest

"Wait," said Human Jef. "Are you mad that I'm alive?"

This quickly turned the mood, but not by much. "Of course not," said Companion Ryl. "We were mourning your loss when you turned up at your own memorial."

"And you were saying such nice things about me until you said, Oh flakking hell,

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Challenge #02684-G127: Winner Winner?

I don't know if this even a thing in other parts of Earth, but in my country very popular thing is eating cartilage from chicken legs just like every other part of meat. Foreigners are saying that this sound is the most disturbing one they ever heard. It's like very loud cracking bone.

What if herbivore heard this sound and automatically just started to look for predator in absolute terror? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Oh holy freaking Powers That Be, my daughter

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Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

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Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

It had been years since ze had been seen last, though not nearly as long as had been estimated, wagered or theorised. When a derelict, cobbled together ship limped into The Blackstump research station. it had seemed to come from come from beyond what was known and explored space, and from the entirely the wrong direction from which the occupant was last seen.

The Return of Andi the Undying -- Adam in Darwin

The ship was

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Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

H: Did you know that you can use Duct Tape to patch your space space suit a pinch?

A: I believe you are trying to deceive me. To make me feel better about the situation you have got us into.

H: Aww. Don't be like that. It works, I promise, I've done it before.

A: That does not surprise me. -- Anon Guest

"We only have soft atmospheric livesuits. They're not rated for micrometeor impact."

"No worries," cheered Human Adam. "I've got

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Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Some humans fight with blades, those who live on worlds that allow it, use firearms. Or for those aboard stations and ships, crossbows. Me? I refuse to use any of that. My body is my weapon. Sure I carry a utility knife, don't most of us? But it's never been used to draw blood. With a single blow I can knock a man down, with a well-placed kick I can knock over a being the size of a tree. My hand, small

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Challenge #02661-G104: Sorry to Cause a Fuss

Human to Alien: Could you please have the head of engineering come here? Don't worry, nothing is wrong. I just... saw a way to improve this! I am holding it so I don't lose track on the spot I want to talk to them about. Please hurry... I don't want to "forget" what I want to tell them.

Human to Engineer: So... Please keep this quiet. I don't want to cause a panic and make this worse... But, if I let go

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Challenge #02656-G099: Holding On Aliens often forget the Power we can have, when we WANT to Hang on to something. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Holy shit, that's terrifying. Offensensitivity warning for fear of heights and physical injury]

"There's only enough capacity in the lifeboat for seven. How do you plan on coming with us?"

The Ships' Human, having fought to the last enemy, just grinned. "Outside," said Human Karth. "I can hang on for long enough. Don't worry about

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Challenge #02631-G074: Desperate Measures

You’re not wrong but I don’t want you to be right -- Anon Guest

Phryx stared at her Human companion. "Did you mean that to be confusing as it sounds, or are you having one of your verbal shortcuts again?" Verbal shortcuts were always a problem with Humans, especially on the Edge. They had ways of expressing themselves that were difficult to translate at best and needed a seminar to understand at worst.

"Oh. Right. Whoops. Okay. Brief version: Yes,

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Challenge #02630-G073: A Questionable Survival Mechanism

As the Galactic, not a deathworlder, but not a delicate havenworlder either, looked down at the infant human, they had to wonder...

"How does something so small and delicate grow into something so dangerous?"

The infant, seemingly in answer, smiled, then reached up and gently hugged the sentient holding it. Before releasing a truly noxious fart. -- Anon Guest

Every species not equal to a Deathworlder tends to look a lot like a Havenworlder to the Deathworlder in question. Some Deathworlders are

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