Humans Are Space Orcs

A 211-post collection

Challenge #02472-F282: GG Tho

Paintball, Nerf, Air Soft, fighting competitions, obstacle courses, ect., are all games where humans play at war. It was something their children even played, preparing them to be warriors in the future, no matter their adult occupations. They had plenty of competitions to show their strength, their prowess, their aggression, and their ability to take down an enemy. Often other humans. Some Vorax have the guts to challenge some humans to a game, wanting to prove to their leaders that humans are NOT as dangerous as stories make them out to be. What do the humans choose? Paintball! -- DaniAndShali

The logic was impeccable. Humans were too good at war, having practiced for most of their evolutionary timeline on their eternal enemy, the Humans. They had plenty of weapons of mass destruction that terrified even themselves. Newer, bigger, fresher, and most importantly more numerous than any previous iteration.

Some Humans were just obsessed with making more of the most powerful weapons ever created, just to have them and threaten the rest of civilisation with them. It has been theorised that, should anyone develop a weapon capable of vaporising an entire solar system from central star to oort cloud, the Humans would immediately want to possess twenty of them... and subsequently test them with absolutely no foresight whatsoever. There is another theory that Humans have already done this which explains some vast pockets of empty space where solar systems should be.

Humans can just be that scary to contemplate. Therefore this particular group of Vorax had come up with an idea. It was far from an original idea, but it was pretty creative for the Vorax. They reasoned correctly that Humans used their Deathworlder games to replace combat, and that playing such games with Humans might forge some kind of peace between two Deathworlders. Being Deathworlders themselves, the Vorax saw nothing wrong with opening the playing field to all Human games ending in the word 'ball'.

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 45 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #02460-F270: Like Humans Do

"Don't worry I based this defence system off a deathworlder immune system"

As I ask in a shaken voice, "What kind?"

It bares its teeth, that I later I learned it was a sign of affection. "Humans"

(A quick lesson to the immune system https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQGOcOUBi6s) -- Anon Guest

The thing about Deathworlder immune systems, is that they evolved to deal with Deathworlder problems. As such, they could be viewed as needlessly complicated. They could also be

Read more »

Challenge #02456-F266: The Tough Nut

"I would like to acquaint your facial features, with the fundamentals of a brick wall, at high velocity, REPEATEDLY." -- Anon Guest

"Thrown or wielded?" challenged the Human.

This was not the expected reaction to a threat. K'rux startled for a second or two. "You are meant to be intimidated by my bulk and violence," they protested. "That will make you go away."

The Human raised one of their furry eyebrows. "You're new, aren't you? Haven't had the entire introduction to the

Read more »

Challenge #02454-F264: You're in Trouble Now

Newscast Breaking news!

Successful but peaceful Human colony world "Nirvana" a category 2.5 Deathworld, gifted to the humans for their contributions during the Acridith Incursion, has been attacked via Orbital Bombardment. Casualties are expected to be to be in the in the 10's of thousands, with the Injured numbering in the Millions.

The Vorax Empire has immediately distanced themselves from the atrocity and ,in a once unfathomable move, has offered aid, condemning the unknown aggressors for attempting to destabilise the most

Read more »

Challenge #02451-F261: Which War Game

"So you're telling me... that you have an actual WAR GAME!!" -- Anon Guest

The Humans had been playing Symbolically Kill Your Friends with something called Water Guns. Traxx, watching the mayhem, was rather puzzled, and asked the obvious question: "This is a game of hunting, or a game of war?"

Human Deb answered, "Oh we have loads of games of war." Then they casually shot their ally across the hall.

Which lead to the next question: "How much number is 'loads'?

Read more »

Challenge #02450-F260: Proof Positive

Don't mind me, I’m just listening to “back in black” with Tesla coils -- Anon Guest

For those who need proof that Humans, a class four point five Deathworld species, are the indomitable space orcs everyone says they are, look no further than the Zeusaphone.

Humanity harnessed the electron. Harnessed electromagnetic radiation. They used both to make music. They used it to create artificial lightning. Then they noticed that the lightning could make music-like sounds. The faraday cage, always boon to

Read more »

Challenge #02449-F259: Weapons of Mass Amusement

it was all fun and games until humans found medieval style energy weapons -- Anon Guest

"So this is like an electric ballista?" had never before been words of impending doom, but these were Humans who were doing the talking. "The spearpoint is a trigger for a giant capacitor, right? Delivering a blast of excess electrons to the target."

"Er. Yes," said Museum Director Gorx, who was starting to believe this tour had been a mistake[1]. "The use of this weapons

Read more »

Challenge #02444-F254: Wilful Air Adulteration

They were out on a scientific survey of a new planet and pirates were on their tail. They knew they had at least two hours before they were caught and their ship had little by way of weaponry. They made their ship's human his favorite, but usually forbidden unless they were planet-side where there was lots of fresh air, meal. Hot dogs and BEANS! As he smiled, thanked them, and dug in to his meal, the gas masks were being handed out.

Read more »

Challenge #02436-F246: A Concerning Countdown

I am a big fan of your "Humans are Space Orcs" Series, I read them every chance I can get. I would love to see this one for one of your stories. A deathworlder, a human, has been living with a Havenworlder as his bodyguard for quite some time. He is a scientist and was working with ways to extend a Human's lifespan and she has always been willing to volunteer for his work. Even when she was warned it might hurt.

Read more »

Challenge #02435-F245: The It Factor

As a Havenworlder the stuff in space is pretty scary, but I like trying new things. Asking a human to play "tag" was the worst decision of my life. -- Anon Guest

Humans are a walking paradox. They are level four point five Deathworlders, and are the most warlike species known in Galactic space, yet they are also the most caring and considerate cogniscents the Alliance has ever known. They're social creatures, requiring a modicum of positive physical contact for proper mental

Read more »

Challenge #02425-F235: A Study of Abnormalcy

On the Edge there are many prisons. Some of them are just normal, regular prisons, but you can also find a special prisons.

Heavenworlder (name) is trying to learn about human psychology. Probably the best place to learn about "true human madness" is prison for unstable human murderers.

"He talked about murders with some sort of weird passion. But he started to be aggressive when I asked him about his childhood experiences. He struggle against cuffs and tried to reach me. If

Read more »

Challenge #02423-F233: The Hubris Initiative

He was the sort of person who stood on mountaintops during thunderstorms in wet copper armour shouting, "All the Gods are Bastards!" ~ Also by Terry Pratchett -- Anon Guest

There's inviting trouble to your door, and then there's stalking it for apparent fun and alleged profit. Inviting trouble is asking questions with obviously painful and demonstrative answers from the cosmos, like: "What else can go wrong?" or, "So what's the big deal?" or, "How can we possibly fail?" Stalking trouble... well, to

Read more »

Challenge #02416-F226: Pheromone Formula Number Nine

H: "oh SHIT"

I rushed in as soon as I can, noticing a pink liquid spread across the floor as I slipped on it.

H: "you should lock yourself in you sleeping quarter for a few hours"

My body began to heat up, as the human helped me up they look different form they was a moment ago, Breathing heavily.

M: "why should I?"

I was on the floor again, pulling the human down with me.

H: "Its a universal aphrodisiac" --

Read more »

Challenge #02397-F207: Spiced Up Encounter

One particular species has a SEVERE negative reaction to capsaicin. So, when a pirate group of them attack a ship, one human creates an air-locked cage covered in hot sauce. -- Anon Guest

"Wait, so they're level three Havenworlders? And they're trying to conquer this ship?" Human Jo seemed very confused.

"They do have superior weaponry," argued the Captain. "It is wiser to allow them to take what they want."

"Bugger that," said Human Sam. "They want trouble? We'll give 'em trouble.

Read more »

Challenge #02396-F206: They're Only Human

Alien: "It's only a First Contact with those.....um..... it reads here Huuuemaannts.... How bad can it go?"

Human: ... -- Anon Guest

"What level are they? Three? Three point five?"

"Four point five," said the underling. "Most of that is because of N'Oz and Australia."

"Pfft. Myths and legends. Everyone with a Deathworlder label exaggerates about their abilities. We're four point five. We can take them."

Those last eight words may well have been filed under "Famous Last Words". The underling, who

Read more »