Humans Are Space Orcs

A 259-post collection

Challenge #02672-G115: Back From the Deepest Well

It had been years since ze had been seen last, though not nearly as long as had been estimated, wagered or theorised. When a derelict, cobbled together ship limped into The Blackstump research station. it had seemed to come from come from beyond what was known and explored space, and from the entirely the wrong direction from which the occupant was last seen.

The Return of Andi the Undying -- Adam in Darwin

The ship was limping along through space. Parts of it were bleeding smoky atmosphere, and the rest of it looked like it had been hurriedly patched together out of at least ten different vessels. It was, as Humans were wont to say, one good sneeze away from falling apart altogether.

According to all sensors, it had come from the relatively nearby Galactic Core. In fact, they had traced it exiting at high velocity and gradually slowing as it used both velocity engines and gravity slingshot maneuvers to escape from the enormous gravity well from whence they had came. As soon as visual confirmation of the vessel's identity was possible, the configuration didn't match any recent records. More alarming, it didn't easily match any historical records.

Naturally, the people at Blackstump Research Station attempted every known means of communication, including flashing lights and semaphore. The reply came in through standard comms. The voiceprint was of a cogniscent identified as deceased with a question mark. Human Andi, better known as Andi the undying.

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Challenge #02670-G113: Inspired Desperation? Entertainment!

H: Did you know that you can use Duct Tape to patch your space space suit a pinch?

A: I believe you are trying to deceive me. To make me feel better about the situation you have got us into.

H: Aww. Don't be like that. It works, I promise, I've done it before.

A: That does not surprise me. -- Anon Guest

"We only have soft atmospheric livesuits. They're not rated for micrometeor impact."

"No worries," cheered Human Adam. "I've got

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Challenge #02669-G112: The Immortal Master

Some humans fight with blades, those who live on worlds that allow it, use firearms. Or for those aboard stations and ships, crossbows. Me? I refuse to use any of that. My body is my weapon. Sure I carry a utility knife, don't most of us? But it's never been used to draw blood. With a single blow I can knock a man down, with a well-placed kick I can knock over a being the size of a tree. My hand, small

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Challenge #02661-G104: Sorry to Cause a Fuss

Human to Alien: Could you please have the head of engineering come here? Don't worry, nothing is wrong. I just... saw a way to improve this! I am holding it so I don't lose track on the spot I want to talk to them about. Please hurry... I don't want to "forget" what I want to tell them.

Human to Engineer: So... Please keep this quiet. I don't want to cause a panic and make this worse... But, if I let go

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Challenge #02656-G099: Holding On Aliens often forget the Power we can have, when we WANT to Hang on to something. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Holy shit, that's terrifying. Offensensitivity warning for fear of heights and physical injury]

"There's only enough capacity in the lifeboat for seven. How do you plan on coming with us?"

The Ships' Human, having fought to the last enemy, just grinned. "Outside," said Human Karth. "I can hang on for long enough. Don't worry about

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Challenge #02631-G074: Desperate Measures

You’re not wrong but I don’t want you to be right -- Anon Guest

Phryx stared at her Human companion. "Did you mean that to be confusing as it sounds, or are you having one of your verbal shortcuts again?" Verbal shortcuts were always a problem with Humans, especially on the Edge. They had ways of expressing themselves that were difficult to translate at best and needed a seminar to understand at worst.

"Oh. Right. Whoops. Okay. Brief version: Yes,

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Challenge #02630-G073: A Questionable Survival Mechanism

As the Galactic, not a deathworlder, but not a delicate havenworlder either, looked down at the infant human, they had to wonder...

"How does something so small and delicate grow into something so dangerous?"

The infant, seemingly in answer, smiled, then reached up and gently hugged the sentient holding it. Before releasing a truly noxious fart. -- Anon Guest

Every species not equal to a Deathworlder tends to look a lot like a Havenworlder to the Deathworlder in question. Some Deathworlders are

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Challenge #02628-G071: The Last Lie

The "Last Lie" is a recurring trend and well-known trait in the Amalgam universe. Yet, I haven't yet read a story where the "Last Lie" has come true. It seems that our human protagonists always manage to cheat death.

That being said, I think it would be interesting to see a (or a group of) Havenworlder(s) discovering what the Last Lie is the

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Challenge #02627-G070: When You Assume...

Considering the cultural difference between western people and eastern people, how would aliens react to someone from Asia?

Asian people tend to be less touchy-feely, more reserved and quiet than someone from America for example.

How would aliens react when the shy-looking, timid Japanese girl, who joined their ship as a chef, turns out to be a master of martial arts and make dinner from the would-be pirates because they belittled her? Or how loud she gets when she's properly drunk... --

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Challenge #02610-G053: Fun Facts About Amity!

Oh my Glod I love your book, 'The Amity Incident'! I must have read it n'th hundred times! Every time I read it, I discover something new! I Love It! I would like to know if there is anything else you can tell us about the planet Amity or Enmity? What about the different types of human species are out there? Like the Melil? What other things flipped the Numidid minds, besides the metal boats and the lack of eggs? Lol! I

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Challenge #02608-G051: A Real Sweetheart

They had been fighting anxiety their entire life. While they did their best to handle it, there were times when, even with medication, they were overwhelmed. When they got their support animal, it was a bit of a learning curve, after all people expects skitties or dogs, not winged reptiles. They wore a special pair of glasses that, when their life-signs showed anxiety levels rising to the point where medication would not assist, and there were no dangers in the area, the

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Challenge #02605-G048: Atomic Element Number Six

Can you Please write a Humans-Are-Space-Orcs Story about Humans commonly wasting Resources (like in the Video) on the Production of Things, Goods... that Aliens can do cheap/better/with less effort? (Like Coalpower/Atomicenergy...)

Thanks in Advance -- Mike

Deathworlders live in harsh conditions that should eliminate most life. This is known. Therefore, one might expect that Deathworlders would be frugal with their resource expenditure. One would be wrong. Most of them evolve with short

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Challenge #02592-G035: Critical Flaw Located

A: explain to me why again you were fighting?

B: I was getting rusty, I needed someone to spar with.

A: was it necessary to create a hole in the floor?

B: you said it was reinforced! -- Anon Guest

Human Sym was embedded in the flooring. Her legs were technically within the floor below, but also tangled up in sensitive, very important, and also more than a little delicate - wiring and equipment. Human Per, her sparring partner, was crouching and

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Challenge #02589-G032: Deception

Anyone who's had humans aboard their ships will know one thing for certain, even when asleep, humans can be very loud. They call the harsh, almost predatory growling-like noise, snoring. There was a reason if you want to allow humans to have quarters aboard your ship, you sound proof it. However, it's also often an indication of the human having an obstructed airway when they sleep, which could be, from a medical standpoint, worrisome. However, once you heard that sound, you knew

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Challenge #02587-G030: Gung Ho

You say "martyr" and I say "I love my family." Sometimes you have to accept that humans make peace with the concept of sacrificing a life for their loved ones (no matter what species). Get on that bike and RIDE, b@tch. -- Ride or Die

This is why Humans are considered insane. Their sense of self-preservation is subservient to the greater good. They can look at an overloaded sled, figure out the importance of the supplies needed at the destination, and

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