Apocalypse Journal

A 34-post collection

I gotta but I don't wanna

I remember going through this during the 2012 floods. Frozen with fear and watching the news circle around. Just sitting and watching the devastation while I was holed up and listening to the ceaseless sound of rain. I couldn't move and I couldn't do anything else but stay informed.

I'm reaching a point where I don't want to leave the bed. I went to bed in the afternoon when I was done with my Instant and I spent the rest of the night and some of this morning in a series of naps interspersed with feelgood projects because looking at any more news was going to make me cry.

Nevertheless, I keep coming back to the headlines like a moth to the flame. Including today's firkin worst news:

[Shown here: Screencap of the notification that there's been one new case of Covid-19

This is a personal hit for me. I was just four days away from being able to go shopping without a mask and without fear... but no. Someone with the plague came into Queensland and reset my impending freedom counter back to firkin zero.

I'm going to spend an entire day in bed again. Fuck this shit.

In the news:

  • Site to provide permits to cross the closed border(s) keeps crashing. Which might be the point. If you don't have a permit, you can't legally cross, and then you can't spread the plague. Everyone wins except your selfish arse. Which I kind of endorse
  • Plague spreading so fast in the USA that contact tracing is impossible
  • US Prisons are, unsurprisingly, hotbeds of said plague and businesses are complaining because their force of ersatz slaves is no longer available
  • Buying limits return as people repeat the mistakes of the first plague by purchasing shit they don't even need
  • The Muppet nopes the USA out of the World Health Organisation in a move that will eventually cause epic levels of regret years after he's quit office
  • Victoria finally admits that it was complacency, not beauty, that unleashed the beast currently named as a second wave. I called it firkin AGES ago
  • Brazil's leader and fellow virus denialist has been confirmed as sick with the plague. Schadenfreude feels GOOD in this case as the man is/was evidently a living canker sore
  • Australians taking the trial vaccine have to follow a whole bunch of rules to get paid upwards of $2K for a poke in the arm with a sharp stick
  • Dietary supplement andrographis causes Covid-19 symptoms (notably loss of taste) in some users. Ironically, this was sold as herbal relief of flu-type virii
  • 800 companies could perish forever because Scotty From Marketing refused to keep supporting them. Heaven forfend that your rich buddies actually support the economy like they keep saying they do, Scotty
  • British police are just as racist as the American ones, arresting a sprinter for Driving While Black

I'm writing my story, going on some kind of rant, and then going back to bed.

Fuck this shit, I'm out.

Tuesday. I can't.

I didn't want to get out of bed, today. The world is falling apart. According to the vilest lies, Statistics, 87% of the USA are in favour of sensible quarantine procedures, including masks, social distancing, and staying home as much as humanly possible. Alas, the remaining 11% are the ones fucking things up for everyone else.

Speaking of the 11%... there's a bunch of them in dense public housing who are locked in for quarantine. They don't want tests for reasons that

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::Cracks Knuckles:: Okay. I've got this.

We're back up to nine days of a plague-free Queensland. So I should, in theory, be back to writing in my novel. Right?

I dunno. I can certainly try.

When I'm done with today's Instant, I can load up that one file and my self-amusement file [which is nearly done] and see which one wins the day. I'm putting my bet on the self-amusement because I'd much rather watch a character discover acceptance on the worst day of their life than do

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Stream Morning Whee

Toastyglow is working some magic, and I am not able to focus on anything else. With luck, I shall be done with today's story before noon. I can hope.

I did manage to do a lot of faffing about, yesterday, and almost zero writing. Since I don't have carbs to stress about, I might actually get another section of the CYOA I'm obsessed with completed.

Then it's two more to go and I can post that mofo somewhere. Woot.

In the news:

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Indulgence Day

It's Saturday, and I've just consumed an entire pizza [prawns and mushrooms yum] and I am trying to take a break from being bothered by the world for a day.

Today's PLN, such as it is, is thus:

  • [X] Lie in
  • [X] Eat carbs
  • [ ] Instant story
  • [ ] Fun project(s)
  • [ ] Enjoy myself

I've already heard that the Karen Squad in Victoria and NSW are attempting to get themselves smuggled into Queensland, and the idiot who rode the train while infected is facing an

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Paper Chase!

It's been literal years since Mayhem got his Autism diagnosis [then known as Asperger's, which is now part of ASD yay] and I have since misplaced any paperwork I had regarding his diagnosis. Three guesses what he needs for the employment mob?

Yup.

The paperwork related to the thing.

So. Today, we are on the hunt for the paperwork necessary to go ahead with whatever the employment mob wants. Fun times.

I have not been writing very fast at all, especially not

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Wednesday? Oof

Third day of the week and I can barely concentrate on the fun writing, so yeah. No book progress this week. Apparently, the conjunction of my state re-opening1 and the spikes in Victoria and New South Wales have set my noggin off into Panic Mode(tm) in which most of my energy is looking for any kind of news and then worrying about it.

God damn, this plague has got me tied in knots.

We currently have an abundance of bread,

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Reset?

I was doing so well. Then I forgot to write my alloted words yesterday. I'm feeling a little frayed around the edges and maybe taking a relaxed week might fix things in my head.

If this were Normal Output Mode, I would have five weeks left to finish this book of mine. Part one of a trilogy. This year has been the WORST year to start new projects with high ambitions because all my energy has been expended on anxiety about the

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Shenanigans Ahoy!

School holidays have begun once more and I now have very little structure in my days. Woot? I dunno. Beloved has purchased for me a digital box set of Star Control [I, II, III, and Origins] and I want to know the proper order to play the same before I get going. I may or may not stream it. I dunno.

BUT...

Mayhem has A Thing in which he shall eventually acquire a paying job, today. Here's hoping it plays through after

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Stream Morning Shenanigans

Toastyglow is streaming this morning, but it's like an hour hence. Less than that since I just spaced out for like twenty minutes.

I made bread in full anticipation of taking a loaf to my mum. The day I baked it, someone in Queensland came down with the plague, so we're back on counting up from one.

Hello, day one. What shenanigans are in the news?

  • Muppet keeps claiming the plague is "going away"
  • Evidence to the contrary says there are more
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Saturday, Saturday!

::refrains from singing the entire song:: I'm having an indulgence day and, thanks to cyclone migraine, I'm also awake at just past midnight. Whee.

It's 2AM and I feel I've had enough faffing about. I need to get on with shit so I can spend all day faffing about.

Onward to the story and, true to my resolution not to stress myself out on the weekends, I am not paying any attention to the outside world. Fuck it. I gotta look after

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It's 3AM. Whee!

I've been awake for two hours. Since it's also Bread Day(tm), I have used my time to feed the Starters [now named Wilson and Ingrid. Wilson is the all-wholemeal Starter, and Ingrid is the one from the Instructions I found somewhere on the interwebs] and begin the process of Bread.

I also have savoury crackers planned, so that's going to be "fun".

Beloved just came in to say "goodnight" and I told them I had Ingrid on my desk.

Today also

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Okay. I've got this.

If I want to use CS Paint Ex [which I have purchased on special], I have to use it on either my desktop or my lappy, with my iPad acting as a spare screen. Because if I wanted to use it on my iPad, I'd have to pay a monthly fee and fuck that noise for a bad joke.

I would much rather use my desktop than my lappy. BUT... my desktop has some defunct chips in it that prevent the update

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Two Down...

Nine hundred and Ninety-eight to go. I got a response from my last query and...

[Shown here: Rejection #2 from D4EO agency]

My writing is evidently not compelling. Okay. I was also given the tip to tell folks more about myself. Agents want to know about the authors, even when the authors think of themselves as dull.

Next to pitch towards in PSLiterary and I honestly can't remember if I've sent Adapting their way previously or no. It's a three-paragraph query letter

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Hooray, it's the anxiety alarm clock

I've got one of those "It's do-able, but..." schedules today, and thank GROP the shrink visit is virtual because there's a high likelihood that I am going to be rat-faced tired before 5PM so I can start the cycle again. Whee.

It's 1AM so I'm officially too late to take a HTML-sleep [aka HTP-5, the nice concoction that metabolises into melatonin. If I took it now, I would be rat-faced exhausted all firkin day.

So. I'm up at one in the morning

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