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Magical Mayhem

A 42-post collection

Challenge #02045-E221: What is Owed

(Person 1): "Ok, let's get one thing straight."

(Person 2): "Yes?"

(Person 1): Straightens painting hanging on wall -- TheDragonsFlame

Thief hunkered in a corner. She didn't know what she was thinking when she saved this Mage from the brigands, but now they feared their anger. Mages were glass cannons, it was true, but they were also vengeful shits who could turn -say- a kobold Rogue into a toad or worse. And Thief had lived her entire, brief life in fear of others' wrath.

The Mage stopped pacing. "Okay," they said. Impossibly beautiful and glamorous because they were an Elf. "Let's get one thing straight."

Thief flinched on instinct. Held her breath as she watched the Elf cross the room and tidy up a crooked painting on their shared inn wall.

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Challenge #02044-E220: One Post-Near-Wipe-Experience in a Dark and Dismal Dungeon

(Person 1): You Idiot!

(Person 2): I'm sure you're right, but why? -- TheDragonsFlame

"Okay," sighed Fanrel. "From the top. We're rescuing villagers from an evil cult that's into blood sacrifices. We use out best stealth to creep up on them while they're busy with the chanting. We're all nearly in position... and then you decide to leap up, scatter marbles all over the place and yell, 'Oo ma, oo ma, I can see your nickie-nahs'."

"It disrupted the ceremony," protested Jorgax.

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Challenge #02008-E184: What About Me?

The older jade-skinned female shook her head with a sympathetic smile - not angry, but understanding good intentions gone misinformed.

"Lana, you're young and determined, but also human. Tall, white, human. Not short, not green, and definitely not goblin. I appreciate you wanting to plan this 'goblin pride' rally thing, but it's kinda romanticised. Just because we mixed into human society doesn't mean we risk losing ourselves. We still know our history and have our beliefs and traditions, as crude and vulgar

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Challenge #02003-E179: Adventure is Out There

“I hate you.”

“You just saved my life! Plus, we both know you adore me.”

“Well, finding someone else to hate is too much work.”

“And risking your own life to save me wasn’t?”

“See? This is why I hate you. Nitpicking, and ungrateful.” -- Spotted

Everyone has heard of the Fisher King. Very few have heard of the Adventurer King, the one who decided to help his Kingdom by personally fighting the problems that plagued it. Unfortunately for Sir Dravyn,

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Challenge #01998-E174: Garry's God

Please write some more about the Goddess of Fools and her human sacrifices! That last one was such a cliffhanger! -- Anon Guest

[AN: That would be this story for those who don't have the time to scroll back that far. And I have to wonder... cliffhanger? The dude died and was headed for Paradise. That's pretty final IMHO]

She was about to collect her latest offering. A young man just before coming of age. He could see her, but his body

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Challenge #01976-E152: Low Rent Catchment

booooom "What the hell was that?" "Thunder?" "Are you nuts? It's a clear sky, there's not a storm for a thousand K's." -- Anon Guest

"Different kind of thunder," said Fouthet.

Somik glared at hir as if ze had grown another head. "There is only one kind of thunder."

"There's two," insisted Fouthet. "You're of age now, so you can sense the Hidden School." And just as Somik was about to argue, ze added, "It's where the mageborn go to learn their

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Challenge #01948-E124: Who's a Good Dog?

In the land of magic, Death frequently has problems with pets that absolutely refuse to stay dead. -- Anon Guest

In all of creation, there is nothing more loyal than a good dog. Though it was widely agreed that Kerby was one of the truly daft ones. He was a rescue dog, and had some kind of skin infection that made him look dead. Dan, who had picked him up with a shovel as part of his job, got the fright of

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Challenge #01941-E117: Well Met, Helpmeet

Third hand, semi trained person needed to "here hold this'," Pass tools, shine lights. -- Anon Guest

There are only so many fates when you're an orphan, and Krop figured he was one of the luckier ones. Sold to a travelling show as a crewman's prentice. The food was a great deal better than orphanage food, but you could say that about any food outside of an orphanage or a monastery. In one, the meals were bland and austere because the monks

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Challenge #01922-E098: The Big Guns

She unleashed the most powerful, devastating, army-halting, tyrant-toppling weapon... the puppy dog eyes -- TheDragonsFlame

In the times of Dragons, a very young Elf only has one defense. And after the Orcs raided her village, and Tila woke up in a cage, it was a matter of urgency to find a time to use it on creatures who certainly planned to eat her. Once she realised her situation, she certainly couldn't return to anything approaching rest. Every Orc was carrying a young

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Challenge #01899-E075: Foreign (First) Aid

What if Coffee was invented during beginning of Middle Ages (5th -6th century) and gave rise to a whole industry of potion makers? After all who says that it can't have much different effects based on how it is brewed? -- Anon Guest

Sometime in the mid-to-late 5th Century...

"This one is a powerful emetic. This one will purge the bowels," the potion-maker showed their apprentice differing vials that were near-identical shades of brown. "This one will strengthen the heartbeat, and this

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Challenge #01877-E053: Working With the Dead

Sometimes the person you admire or love has a passion or hobby that they would really love to get stuff for. -- Anon Guest

Hobbyists are easy to buy for. Well. Most of them are. Gardeners will love you for getting a big bag of manure. Leatherworkers - the less said about the gross stuff that Leatherworkers would thank you for, the better. Especially if they do their own tanning. Arts and crafts people will be grateful for infinite art supplies.

But

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Challenge #01873-E049: Infestation Reformation

Picture a Fallout style after-the-bombs postapocalyptic world, but we humans are extinct. Nothing but ruined buildings, leftover wreckage, wandering mutants of assorted types, and abandoned hoards of supplies like armor, food, tools, and weapons...

Meanwhile, on the other side of reality, the stereotype sword-n-sorcery fantasy realm gets so sick and tired of goblins - stupid, obnoxious, violent, vulgar little wretches that breed like rats on speed and can bounce back from just about anything short of incineration or wholesale dismemberment - that

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Challenge #01857-E033: A Best-laid Plan

The evil has been slain, the entire nation celebrates in the streets and now, the beautiful Princess who was saved very publicly confesses her love and the King offers her hand in marriage to the noble Hero… Except the Hero was already married - to the woman who sells potions and medicines; she had been aiding the Hero since the quest to save the princess first began, and their love grew more with each visit. Also, the Hero isn’t a Hero,

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Challenge #01849-E025: Good For What Ails You

[Person 1] "I'm sick !"

[Person 2] "Here, take some herbs."

[Person 1] "I cut myself with a knife !"

[Person 2] "Here, take some herbs."

[Person 1] "I got my arm ripped off !"

[Person 2] "Here, take some herbs." -- Anon Guest

There are people who believe in herbs, and there are people who Believe in herbs. Talia's dotty neighbour Mackqualieghiegh (pronounced, 'mack-ay-lee-ay' and shortened to 'Mac' before the ink dried on the birth certificate) was one of the ones who BELIEVED in

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Challenge #01843-E019: Reminded of the Babe?

Don't do something permanently stupid just because you're temporarily upset. -- Anon Guest

My mother said/ I never should/ play with the faeries in the wood... - nursery rhyme.

The fae folk had her baby. Toddler. Even though her child could walk and talk after a fashion and perform simple tasks, Esa was still her baby and would be so until the day Risso died. Which might be soon, considering that she was marching into Fae territory with naught but her apron

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