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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Oh, it's All So Nice...

There's an old comedy song and, like most old comedy songs, it hasn't aged well. I don't remember all of it because I have a mind like a steel seive, but the chorus has stuck with me.

Oh, it's all so nice in the nuthouse/ All alone in me little padded cell/ Oh it's all so nice in the nuthouse/ And the doctors and the nurses treat me well...

Today... promises to be one of those days where I wish someone else would put me in a nice, cosy, soft room and then commence to take care of all my worldly stresses for me.

Starting with: A 9AM appointment with the nice accountants so I can unfuck our tax nonsense and get on with what passes for my life.

Of course today's Instant will be late because of this. Also everything else I plan to post today.

I'm aware this is an inconvenience to some, but it's also a big drag for me, too.

Also, I pressed a wrong button or something and I no longer have the TAZ prompt I read early this morning. Dangit.

My life feels like a mess right now.

Challenge #02105-E282: Iconography

Scholars of the Galactic Alliance study ancient human gods; the likes of Apollo, Coyote, Mr. Rogers, Bob Ross, and Ronald McDonald. -- shkspr1048

"The changing roles of icons in culture is a fascinating process. Take this fellow," a picture of Apollo. "A figure from ancient Terran culture. He has been, at various times, the God of music, truth, prophecy, the sun, light, plague, and poetry. The Greeks and the Romans alike got things confused for a while, of course. After he faded

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Hello the Clusterfuck

Beloved hasn't done shit for the taxes save for printing their information, so now it's up to me to do the thing. Before Friday.

Fortunately, the local accountants are amenable and I have an appointment early tomorrow so I can get this shiznit out of the way ASAP.

Come next financial year, I am pestering Beloved to get things over with before their weekends are eaten alive by the Melbourne Cup Monster.

Things to look forward to - a new episode of

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Challenge #02104-E281: Miscommunication Malfunction

Human: "Now you're thinking like a human!"

Alien: Internally screaming -- Anon Guest

"No. I didn't-- I'm not-- I don't-- That was sarcasm, Human Jae..."

Human Jae looked briefly alarmed, "And that was a joke, Joyse. I was kidding."

Joyse breathed again. "Good. The last thing I want is to discover that Human Insanity is contagious. Please keep your joking to a minimum in this endeavour, thank you."

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Yes!

The internet is back up despite the sogginess of the atmosphere, so my best guess is some form of minor corrosion has reconnected the points. One would think that an internet system would be built to ameliorate minor flooding, or major flooding. Especially in a land where droughts and flooding rain are a cyclical thing.

...but here we are, I guess.

Followers of my Plot Kittens File will note that there's another plot kitten and another exerpt waiting your eager eyes. The

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Challenge #02104-E280: Personal Augmentation Options

Humans introduce aliens to cosmetics, not all would go in their original place. -- Knitnan

Humans are well known to be attracted to shiny things. This eventually resulted in Humans making themselves shiny in order to attract mates. Jewellery is an almost universal concept, though not always universal in execution. Makeup, on the other hand, is not as universal as one might expect.

"So... you apply paint to your exterior to look more attractive?"

"Getting closer," said Human Jaz. "We call it

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Not Much Data

The weather has knocked out my usual internet connection. You read that right. A system initially designed to survive the Nuclear Holocaust has been knocked out by water getting into the connections.

Real life sucks.

So. In order to actually get today's tale out into the world, I'm currently using phone data to transmit.

The effort to not procrastinate is intense, y'all. I'm not succeeding that great at it either.

When my Instant is done, I get back to the shittier side

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Challenge #02103-E279: Miracle Madman

"I believe I can flyyyy!"

"How did you get up there?!" -- OohLookShiny

"It's very simple," said Jarrin The Mad. "You just forget about gravity for a while. Remembering it again is the tricky part. You have to remember in little bits."

Nurse Rhyko squinted at him as he drifted towards a chair. "How the heck can anyone remember gravity in little bits?"

"Have we met? said Jarrin The Mad. "They call me Jarrin The Mad. I can remember five impossible things

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I made it another week

Critical Role will be live in five hours. I hope to be able to view it. That gives me five hours to do my Instant, write one thousand words, and generally make sure my meat suit is fed and healthy.

This whilst experiencing intermittent internet problems for some reason.

First diagnostic revealed that I was hooked up to the wrong wifi. Fingers crossed that that is all that's wrong with my connection.

I have my phone, so if things go very south,

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Challenge #02102-E278: Faint Praise

"Now look, you 'orrible little bastard, this is the last time I'm going to tell you: no more low gravity rugby in the cargo holds!" -- Anon Guest

"It's not like there's a lot of room to play it anywhere else," protested Human Dave.

"That," said Freighter Captain Jokk, "is not the problem, here. The problem here is you destabilizing my cargo hold with your horseplay."

"How can it be unstable? It's nul-grav. There's no balance to be had in zero gee.

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Thursday Already?

I can deal with that.

I've started taking Magnesium because I have no other explanation as to why I'm constantly out of energy.

Good news (for me) I finally got the Taako's School mysterious package and I already stalled on the first [orange feather] puzzle.

My process:

  1. Listen to all the Stone of Farspeech messages I could find [Did anyone else find Magic Brian's answerphone message inside the box?] and thus get spoiled for the ending.
  2. Realise that the SoF had letters
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Challenge #02101-E277: Not Dead Yet

humans are hypersensitive to the smell of fresh water, hence why we can smell storms coming. It's so sensitive that we can smell water better than most dogs -- Anon Guest

The Human origin world, Earth to some, Terra to most, has a surface that is over seventy percent water. Thus, it is surprising to most that Humans can detect it. With land in such relative scarcity, most Galactic Citizens assume that finding good soil would be a better priority.

It's a

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It's working...

Positive attitude works a little bit. I was able to focus on getting my shit done as planned. I ran out of energy to play, but I got all my nonse done. Huzzah.

I'm back down to the heavier end of 77 kilos, and lower than my previous low before this week's hike up to 78. So now I have hope that I can do the thing and get back to my previous low of 72, and perhaps get to my goal

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Challenge #02100-E276: Just One Problem

There was a trail of pink sequins, and glitter. Someone or something had left a trail of what turned out to be the CEO's private stash of double chocolate delight cookie crumbs. And the newest release toy "Magic Unicorn Purple Princess" was missing. -- Anon Guest

Allie, chief of R&D turned to the alleged genius who was working on the project. "Thorpe... was it supposed to do that?"

Thorpe was still staring at the trail and running math on how

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I'm Happy

I got to see the new Doctor on the big screen. A little too uncomfortably close to the big screen, but I saw it and I'm happy. Jodie Whittaker is going to be brilliant, I can feel it.

I got to have some sushi last night. Some had chilli sauce on it, but I regret little else bar seeing the lighter side of seventy-eight kilos again. That's what happens when you have too many carbs. But I got some delicious foods and

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