Become a Patron!

Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01899-E075: Foreign (First) Aid

What if Coffee was invented during beginning of Middle Ages (5th -6th century) and gave rise to a whole industry of potion makers? After all who says that it can't have much different effects based on how it is brewed? -- Anon Guest

Sometime in the mid-to-late 5th Century...

"This one is a powerful emetic. This one will purge the bowels," the potion-maker showed their apprentice differing vials that were near-identical shades of brown. "This one will strengthen the heartbeat, and this one will speed it up. They all come from the same plant. Where does it grow?"

The apprentice, an orphan named Cheese, stared dumbfounded at all of them. He was not, yet, allowed to use or make the things that Maester Nightsky created in his workroom. All Cheese was currently allowed to do was gather wood for the fires. Nevertheless, inspiration struck. "It comes from where your from. The blackamoor lands."

"Sudan," said Maester Nightsky. "I am from Sudan. And so are these plants. They are called Kafeha. And today, you will learn to tend them."

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 15 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Rest and Reconfiguration

I still can't write 1K words a day without hurting myself in the long term. Beloved insists that it's because I don't get enough fat in my diet and they might be right.

The only animal fat that I find (a) delicious and (b) easily-digestible is none other than pork fat. Which, as you might guess, is hellishly expensive. Other than that, I get my fats from Mascarpone, butter, and a hellfuck load of cheese.

Beloved criticises my daily fare as "lean"

Read more »

Challenge #01898-E074: But We Made It Home Alive

“I hate the word ‘should’.” -- TheDragonsFlame

"And after we make it through the wormhole, we should be aces," said the Ship's Human, Lyn.

Their Captain bristled, literally. Defensive spikes raised along her carapace. "Should is a word that should not exist," she said.

"Uh... you just used it."

"Yes, the corruption spreads far," said Captain G'orp. "A future tense qualifier adverb is an uncertainty we do not need in the middle of space. We need rock-hard certainty. Not your human 'luck'.

Read more »

Catching up... slow style

You know, it's a good thing I was thirteen weeks ahead on writing Clockwork Souls [because shiny plotbunny] because it means I can pull shit like:

  • Devote my work hours to the book that should be finished already
  • Let the book I'm already working on go hang, and thus
  • Let my poor, flaring wrists fucking heal for a change.

I'm never letting this happen again, by the way. The instant a novel is finished, a raw copy goes onto my Drobo. Y'know.

Read more »

Challenge #01897-E073: Revolution by the Millilitre

They were trying to cause havoc. They found something relatively harmless that caused people to sing. The results were not what they expected. -- Anon Guest

"I got it."

"Don't give it to me."

Sasha ignored her sister. "We use this thing on the town water supply. There's gonna be chaos. And since we have the antidote..."

"We can hold policy for ransom. I like. First up, re force 'em to reinvigorate the public transit system with accomodations for the disabled."


Read more »

No more unsuitable food

I am honestly trying, but temptation is a bitch.

Mayhem didn't want to come to Lone Star with us, alas. So he not only missed out on some R I D I C U L O U S serving sizes and free peanuts, but he also missed out on going to see...

Tomb Raider

What up!

It was on, we were there, and Chaos got in to see an M-Rated movie that did not have an obligatory sex scene. Not even a

Read more »

Challenge #01896-E072: The Big Challenge

Former nightclub bouncer, former riot control expert - Why do I want to teach? Wanted a Real challenge. -- Knitnan

Stopping violence with more violence is easy. It involves very little thought, and a mindset that makes the punishment more brutal than the crime. Stopping violence before it starts is more of a challenge. Especially when you want to avoid looking like a hypocrite.

The kids called him Mr Tough. He could physically lift any kid at Elementary but only if they

Read more »


My wrists are giving me two colours of hell. Today is Friday. Usually, the day I write a thousand words in my novel and congratulate myself on a job well done.

Thing is...

I've been writing a thousand words a day for four days in a row. No wonder my wrists frelling hurt.

So I shall focus on my thousand words today, and do the catch-up with Rael on the weekend.

And definitely focus on a minimum of one day of not

Read more »

Challenge #01895-E071: Senile Delinquents

How hard could it be? Bus trip for a bunch of old age pensioners, take them round the bargain outlets. Lunch at a Hotel. Then he realised. "OhMyGod!!! they all look like Nanny Ogg." -- KnitNan

[AN: Sir Pterry (GNU) always said that multiple exclamation points were a sign of a decaying mind]

Everyone epitomises little old ladies as the most fragile and in need of protection. Everyone, of course, is sorely mistaken. Think on this: there is a reason why they

Read more »

Pump the Brakes!

Okay. So. This autumn season combined with the novel recovery efforts have made writing a literal pain. Fun.

It's okay if I take it slowly. I pause when my wrists start that low warning ache. Find something else to do.

I'm not going to power through it. That noise leads to worse pain and me laying up for who-knows-how-long with all sorts of medical intervention. Been there, done that, and it's amazing that I don't have lingering scars from the bracers.


Read more »

Challenge #01894-E070: Reverse the Polarity!

[Person 1]: You do realize that if this fails, (long list of results of failure) [Person 2]: eh... on second thought... [Person 1]: (proceeds to do the thing) -- TheDragonsFlame

"Okay. Okay! Ooohhh... kay..." said the Ship's Human. "Okay, we could run the ion ejectors backwards. Reverse the polarity of the magnetic engines, sucking in the trail we left for up to three clicks. That'll give us enough exhaust to propel us to the cloud and fully refuel.... I think."

"You do

Read more »

Awake at last...

But my head is full of kittens and one (1) disco ball.

For anyone who can't decant that into rational sentences: I'm as distractible as FUCK, today.

My brain is everywhere, today. Setting up for things that I may or may not do. Getting distracted by EVERYTHING much like this comic I made once upon a time.

The plus side is that I'm awake enough to do all the things.

The bad side is that I'm too distracted to focus on any

Read more »

Challenge #01893-E069: Surprising Goddess

From the world of five Gods. A God whose harvest of souls includes those whose last words were. "Ho lads! Hold my ale and watch this!" -- Knitnan

[AN: That description doesn't exactly fit that world... or the Gods]

Where there is a will, there is a way, and where there is a niche, there is a God. There is a Goddess of Fields and Flowers. There is a Goddess of Motherhood and another of Fertility. Sometimes, they pinch-hit for each other.

Read more »

I do NOT know what this is

I'm tired all the time. Just behind my eyes. The rest of me seems to be awake and full of energy -hell- I woke up at like 1:30 AM [aka "Fuckoff O'Clock"] and try though I might, I could only snatch an hour's more sleep.

It could be asymptomatic lurgi. It could be the seasonal Thing getting to me in new ways. It could be a deficiency of something wearing away at me like nobody's business.

And my hip has decided

Read more »

Challenge #01892-E068: What Rough Beast

“Wait... you mean to tell me that this is the ‘terrifying predator’ we’ve been searching for?” -- TheDragonsFlame

Eyes glowed in the dark. Human Grif trained her spotlight on them and found, "Aw, it's a kitty. Here kitty, kitty, kitty..."

The creature in the darkness slinked out into the light, making a "Mrrp?" sound as it came.

Human Grif made kissy noises, and tore off a tiny piece of jerky as an offering. Before long the cat was smudging up to

Read more »