Fucking Anxiety

A 29-post collection

Thursday, Day Zero, Arts and Farts Time?

Two new cases from overseas, taking the total to twenty-six. We're approaching critical mass for the One Arsehole Theory. There's also a potential for a Karen from across the waters to find a way to bypass security and bring an even more virulent strain into our sunburned land.

Last I heard about things, Queensland -and then the rest of Australia- is reducing the number of people from overseas allowed to come in.

I am enacting some PLNs to get back into arts and farts. When I wake up in the early hours, I will either be working on Kosh's journal or the maps of Whitekeep. I may even investigate various means to use my iPad as a tablet for the compy as I go in the afternoons.

I'm pretty sure making myself doodle might spark some interest in writing an actual book. I have moved some files from my Mac to the PC, so now I can move on with publishing 2020's Year of Instants.

A glimpse at the world's shenanigans:

  • Debate regarding Impeachment 2 begins, Repugnicans "afraid for their lives". Boohoo
  • Something's amiss with floor seven and people are looking into why one floor of a quarantine hotel has become a vector for catching the plague
  • Experts say it's unlikely that it's the AC
  • Australia slammed for its Covid response, claiming inhumane conditions of quarantine
  • Oldest known cave art found in South Sulawesi, dated to 45.5K years ago
  • Banks turn on the Muppet, putting his fortunes at risk. Boohoo
  • Bunnings releases lego truck and Bunnings store for relatively cheap
  • More TP overstocking spotted in NSW
  • Bush track by Birdsville now being used by Karens to skirt past the road closures
  • Australia now only developed nation on the list of the worst deforestation
  • There's now a face mask that includes a connection to your phone and has headphones. Yay technology. Still doesn't let deaf people lipread though
  • Australia's oldest man enjoys a tin of sardines with his soup

I've only just woken up and now I'm tired. I think I'm going to quit the news again for a bit.

Wednesday, Day Zero, Fuddlenoggin

I woke up in the wee small hours this morrow and realised I'd forgotten to post the public Patreon thing... and then I realised that chapter three contains a slur. Used more than once.

Yeah, so it's four in the morning and I'm having some anxiety about that. Nevermind that absolutely nobody reads my firkin Wordpress nonsense. This is the sort of thing that gets someone up in arms some many years later when and if fame ever lands upon my brow.

Read more »

The Wheezing Continueth

My experimentation yesterday has revealed results. In that I can keep this compy functioning if I stick to the BARE MINIMUM of programs going at once. Mail, Markdown editor, and browser with only the necessary pages loaded. Nothing else.

Even then, it's slow as balls to get anything done, so... Yeah. I need to save up AU$1.5K so I can afford to get a new one and do all the things I dearly want to do. I already have the

Read more »

Back to Firkin Zero

What an amazing co-incidence. Queensland's borders open up and Covid-19 comes a-marching in. Who could have possibly predicted--

Everyone with an atom of sense, that's who!

...geez...

In the news:

  • Children once thought to be immune to Covid-19 consequences are now dying from Covid-19 in yet another example of wishful thinking combined with the people in charge not giving a fig about basic science principals so long as the all-hallowed economy flourishes
  • It has now been revealed that the Muppet attempted to
Read more »

I gotta but I don't wanna

I remember going through this during the 2012 floods. Frozen with fear and watching the news circle around. Just sitting and watching the devastation while I was holed up and listening to the ceaseless sound of rain. I couldn't move and I couldn't do anything else but stay informed.

I'm reaching a point where I don't want to leave the bed. I went to bed in the afternoon when I was done with my Instant and I spent the rest of the

Read more »

Hooray, it's the anxiety alarm clock

I've got one of those "It's do-able, but..." schedules today, and thank GROP the shrink visit is virtual because there's a high likelihood that I am going to be rat-faced tired before 5PM so I can start the cycle again. Whee.

It's 1AM so I'm officially too late to take a HTML-sleep [aka HTP-5, the nice concoction that metabolises into melatonin. If I took it now, I would be rat-faced exhausted all firkin day.

So. I'm up at one in the morning

Read more »

It's an INTERESTING day!

Woke up at a quarter to midnight and realised - hey, Toasty's having a stream and if I go back to sleep, the alarm is just going to wake me up grumpy and useless.

So I got up and pootled around [finished a chapter of Lust of the Demon Lord, to be posted on Patreon this week. Yay] and enjoyed some GOOD GOOD THIRST ART which is tickling the shipping receptors in my brain. This is a good thing.

Also today -

Read more »

Beautiful to Look At...

I finally made a beautiful-looking loaf:

[Shown here: A sourdough loaf still in the Dutch oven. It has risen like an angel]

The downside is that it feels worryingly dense and I fear we will be making some very pretty bruchetta with it. Ah well. I did everything "wrong" but at least it looks like it turned out lovely.

I used up the last of the White Wings wholemeal flour making this, and this is a list of the things I did:

Read more »

I have the fraids...

Got myself some fresh hot anxiety, directly from the oven of my gremlin brain. I don't even know why it's spiking NOW, but it's where I am and flakk this to heck and gone.

The focus on powering the economy in literally every nation is going to lead to more deaths and I'm just waiting for the hammer to fall. Scotty from Marketing is planning to cut Jobkeeper as soon as all the schools re-open because of course he is. This is

Read more »

The Clusterfuck Continueth

Just as they're easing restrictions, we have a cluster of new cases and who would have predicted this? Oh, wait. Literally everyone who knows how viruses work. Good job.

The conspiracy theorists have more fuel for their fire because a lab in Wuhan allegedly shut down due to some mishap. This could be: (a) a direct result of funding loss because The Muppet doesn't believe in science, (b) actual protocol related to a suit puncture or spillage or something of the ilk

Read more »

Some Fun Now

Miss Chaos is the only one staying home to prevent the spread of the plague. I might send her back to school as of next week, but this really requires a consult with Beloved and an honest discussion of the risks. Chaos can't take her phone with her and therefore can't use the alleged protection of the extant Covid tracking apps.

YAY.

Our most vulnerable to infection and spread [with bonus points for being inclined to be asymptomatic] can't use the one

Read more »

Friday!

I don't have enough flour to be confident about making bread, but Mayhem is taking up the slack by using all my bread mix to make bread according to the instructions. He's loving it.

I like the fact that none of this bread mix is going to waste. Mayhem is making bread to be proud of, even though I can't eat it.

I've blended my harvests together this morning and made some ENORMOUS sourdough frisbees. When Chaos gets back to school, I'll

Read more »

Hello, anxiety

I'm pretty sure I know exactly what's behind the intense anxiety I get whenever someone drops a hateful review of my writing. So hello, childhood fear of people bad-mouthing me because that would soon be followed by physical violence. It hasn't been long enough.

I keep telling myself that this person somewhere in the wilderness of the interwebs can't actually track me down and beat me up for being weird. All they have is their words.

I also have to note that

Read more »

Sigh...

I have just published episode 5 of Inter-Mission, which is now out on Anchor, linked over on the "PODCAST!" link up in the menu, there. It should also be out on the current affiliates with Anchor, which are:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • Breaker
  • Google Podcasts
  • Overcast
  • Pocket Casts
  • Radio Republic, and...
  • Spotify

Find me on your favourite audio streaming option from the above. Share and enjoy.

I've reached an embuggerance with the dang Kitty Kondo (tm) because we know a 10mm hole is too

Read more »

I need five cubic meters of cotton wool...

...and a big burly bloke named Bruce to take care of me while I'm down.

Today's embuggerance is sponsored by the Internet, a finished novel, asthma, heavy anxiety, and my general disability to cope with multiple crises at once.

  • I have finished writing B'Nar
  • Which may be a contributing factor in today's anxiety spike
  • I'm having a Clayton's Asthma Attack
  • Which may also contribute to said anxiety spike
  • The internet connection to the outside world is fucking DEAD
  • Which definitely contributes to
Read more »