Fuck Off Anxiety!

A 5-post collection

Fucking Anxiety at it Again

Whenever I try something big-for-me, there's always that spike of utter, abject terror that ends up with me hurting myself in strange and interesting ways.

For instance, yesterday I spilled hot soup on myself.

I wasn't hungry (warning sign) so I made myself a big ol' undertow mug of chicken stock broth. In the process of transferring the cup from the electric kettle stand to the bench where I planned to stir in the cream, I bumped the mug against the edge and sent boiling hot water over my hand and sock-covered foot.

Ow.

Quick treatment with cold water helped. There's not even a mark, today. Huzzah. But that was a direct result of sending off a pitch to not one, but two potential publishers simultaneously. Going against my own rules. Trying to get things over with. Ending up with a big heap of the old subconscious terrors as a result.

It's fucked with my sleep too. Woke up at 3-ish AM and couldn't settle, so I settled on writing. At least I got something done and I managed to bury the hatchet with the dude I mistook for a troll. Bygones. Moving on.

Today's plan involves doing fun fictions and probably working on Faxephoun when inspiration gets me. I'm getting closer to having time windows for my HAM plans. When I'm sure... that's when I'll devote some of my hours to making, learning to make, and other fiddly fart-arsing about.

I may take longer at it, but that's only because it's difficult to get anywhere when you're headed in several directions at once. Typical me. All over the place like a kids' lego collection.

Onwards, I do try to go.

I did it!

I sent Adapting off and now the waiting game begins. The last potential publisher gets to wait until July or the other lot gets back to me, whichever happens first. They are my last, best hope (help me Obi-Wan Kenobi...). One gets back in 30 days, so word by the 12th of March or they don't want me. Their loss.

But I did it. I was brave and sent off the files they demanded. Yay me. Now I have most of an

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Why panic about this?

My anxiety is kicking my arse again. Or maybe the word is "still". I don't even know why I'm so hyped up about today. Most of the things I have to fret about are pretty much taken care of.

  • Mayhem doing tests - big whoop. It's a lot of hurry up and wait followed by brief intervals of people doing their thing. We're not going to get results for ages, either.
  • Today's Wordpress thing - big whoop. I have five potential article
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Firkin Anxiety

Yesterday was quite a bit more adventure than I was prepared to deal with. I was following the busses to Brisbane to visit the Kelvin Grove campus of QUT so I could keep an eye out on Miss Chaos whilst she had a fun day of learning.

Which would have been fine except I misplaced the busses at the very last turn and got the first parking space I could achieve.

As I predicted, I got frelling lost. I got absolutely, hopelessly,

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