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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12341 posts

Challenge #02165-E336: To Cross the Lake of Certain Death

So long, and thanks for all the ghoti. -- Anon Guest

They were large, piscine lifeforms, big enough to swallow a Goliath whole, and the lake they inhabited was as large as an entire country. It would take too long to go around. They had to go across somehow.

"You can fly, right?" said Anthe. "Just zip us across?"

Wraithvine said, "Look for what isn't here," and summoned an illusory globe via Prestidigitation and floated it out over the surface. It fizzled and died when the water was just deep enough to drown in. "Anti-magic field."

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Last Week of School

Miss Chaos is in the last week of her education, so I can accurately predict a whole bunch of late stories in the future because slobbing around and doing nothing is my jam.

I will endeavour to get all my shit done before sunset. No guarantees.

Asterisk: Reminder that sunset in Sunny Queensland happens at around six to seven PM because Summer.

Today's a cleaning day, and I have to do a cash run, but beyond that, there are no plans. Not

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Challenge #02164-E335: Gift For the Mage

“One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”

– Professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone -- c/- Anon Guest

Lady Anthe smirked in the warm glow of the Candlenights Hearth and said, "You haven't looked hard enough, then."

There are downsides to sharing one's adventures with a Rogue, and not the ones that you might expect. Wraithvine still remembered

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Lazy Sunday With Complications

I upgraded my Mac, which meant way more hassle than it should have been. Absolute HOURS getting shit together, swearing at the thing, and finally getting Beloved to unfuck that which I could not.

Needless to say, I am behind in my work.

Not helped by the love of my life insisting that I learn how to play Eve Online, their current favourite game.

My dear, my darling, I love you to bits, but PUH-LEEZ let me do my work before I

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Challenge #02163-E334: Don't Ask!

"We've got the girl, the gold, and didn't have to kill a single goon! What can possibly, realistically go wrong?!" -- Anon Guest

The Universe is glad to educate someone who asks silly questions like that. Melvin was behind on learning that question but clearly realised that he had said something wrong, the instant that Wraithvine and Lady Anthe smacked themselves in the face.

What could realistically go wrong was a thousand well-camouflaged guards coming out of the woodwork to oppose their

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FUBAR'd Again

Last night was fun. The session went on WAY too long [half past midnight!] and I probably ate too much. Doesn't matter if you're on Keto, my dears. If you snack too hard, then you gain weight. End of.

I'm up by a kilo this morning and I have a persistent headache that may or may not be related to a cyclone somewhere. And worse - I came over with some sudden nausea that may also be related to watching Mumbo YouTube.

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Challenge #02162-E333: To Seek Out New Life

The 'Enterprise' crew discover P'ting -- Anon Guest

Captain's Log: Stardate... unknown. We have been flung by an unknown force into a nebula that could be tremendously far from home or... could be in another dimension. Commander Spock has been working on determining the exact destination in which we find ourselves. In the meantime... we pursue our primary mission to seek out and explore... anything... that is new.

The bridge of the Enterprise was quiet, but it was the kind of quiet

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Game night tonight!

Obviously, I didn't finish novelising the last installment of Gerroff's adventures. I'll get there. It's just... really low priority.

The mystery of the multiple postage companies has been solved so much that I can timeline the events:

  1. Stevia Company sends me my stevia via Shipping Company 1
  2. AusPost won't take none of that shit
  3. Shipping Company 1 returns parcel to Stevia Company
  4. Stevia Company sends me my stevia via Shipping Company 2
  5. Who immediately just send it of via Australia Parcel Post
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Challenge #02161-E332: Playing Power

“Commander, I always used to consider that you had a definite anti-authoritarian streak in you.”

“Sir?”

“It seems that you have managed to retain this even though you are authority.”

“Sir?”

“That’s practically zen.”

― Terry Pratchett, Feet of Clay -- c/- Anon Guest

Power corrupts, they say. Absolute power, they add, corrupts absolutely. They say this a lot, especially when protesting against those who have the power. Systems with a huge and unbreachable gulf between the Haves and the Have

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GAH!

Several things have gone wrong with my day including the original text for this post going missing.

  1. Parcel delivery missing without a trace
  2. Twice
  3. Place that used to have Stevia is completely without it
  4. So super delayed on today's story I can't even
  5. I JUST got back from the run-around and got a message that my postal locker has a parcel -_-
  6. Decide to finish the Instant at least so that SOMETHING got done today
  7. Mayhem has plans to be a
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Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

I have love in me the likes of which can scarcely be imagined and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I can not satisfy one, I will indulge the other. -- Anon Guest

If there is one rule of the Universe beyond, never ask questions to which there may be a painful answer, it is this: Never Anger a Primary Parental.

Q'essoj was busy learning this. They thought that taking a Human infant from an apparently unguarded area

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Whoopsiedoodles

I just remembered this morning that I didn't put my Patreon stuff up yesterday. That will happen today. Promise.

Also happening today is a new dishwasher. This means I really need to think about my next Ko-Fi goal because just about all my gaseous dreams are coming true.

Air con for the entire house? Check.
Improved solar and wall battery unit? Check.
Actual non-sabotagable power system for the shed where we park our cars? Check.
Drainage and fucking driveway for that same

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Challenge #02159-E330: Understandable Precautions

A Havenworlder exploration vessel is exchanging stuff and ideas with a Terran exploration vessel. All is relaxed and going very well until one of the Terrans puts down their drinking vessel and declares the most terrifying words in all the multiverses -- "I've just had a thought!!" -- Anon Guest

Humans are Deathworlders. They have become gradually aware of this. Deathworlders and Havenworlders should not mix, but space is an unfriendly environment and sometimes you really need a big friend who is

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Holidays For Some

Mayhem is finished with school for this year, as confirmed by a call from the office. They may just dig up an undone scrap of paperwork, but he's done.

Which means that he's on the job market for the holidays.

First mistake: Using Polite Writer Rules to apply for work.

You don't want to be a Nice Writer when looking for a summer job. Nice Writers give the people on the other side an ENTIRE MONTH to get back or whatever their

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Challenge #02158-E329: Shattering Performance

The noise was indescribable, and practically cleaning the windows. -- Anon Guest

If there is any sound in the entire planar system to be feared, it is that of a Kobold Bard about to commence a Traditional Kobold Folk Song.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." the Bard took another deep breath, "Eeeeenouncing salutations, my merry pack this day... We celebrate the ending of a knight who came to slay..."

Kobolds, being creatures of darkness and tunnels, had bats to teach them what music was. They do

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