Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01410-C315: As Above...

"Dude I'm gonna need you to calm down,"

"I just got into an argument with my own reflection I won't be calm for hours!" -- OohLookShiny

Calaer rolled her eyes and thought Mages... to the universe at large. "Okay. Fine. Who won?"

"It was a nil-all loss," grumped Veloris. She fell into the couch and dug her fists into her hair. "How the flying FUCK did Umbridge even get into the race for Minister of Magic in the first place?"

"The same levels of corruption that she's allegedly vowing to eliminate now, I guess. Her family has deep pockets and owns most of the Ministry of Magic."

"And now her classist arse is looking at muggleborns and mudbloods with a microscope and making them jump through hoops just to get a freaking education."

"Blame the Brexit if you like. She's also against mages of colour."

"You know what? Fuck this noise. I'm going to found a hidden school of magic for anyone who can't pass her stupid goddamn rules. You and I know enough to confound anyone who wants to stuff that up."

"We'll use magic and muggle security. I know more than a few locks that you Mages can't alohomora your way through."

"No racism allowed. We'll learn about magical species by opening a dialogue with them. Let them teach, if they want to."

"Pay the house elves."

"Hell yes."

They began with an old fox burrow, and named it the Foxborough Academy of Magic. And little by little, they took in all the students that the Ministry of Magic rejected. As Hogwarts' student numbers shrank, Foxborough's grew. And the Ministry of Magic could not find them to shut them down.

And as Umbridge continued to vow to close it, less and less of her initial supporters continued to do so. She ultimately served half of one term before being fired in disgrace.

Foxborough produced the smartest Mages, because they welcomed Muggle, as well as magical solutions to all sorts of problems.

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Well, fuck

The rape case is off. The muppet's supporters harassed the poor girl who had two witnesses to her assault... and they did so to the point that she withdrew the charges.

Fuck the muppet. Fuck his fanboys. Fuck everyone who thinks this is okay.

Sideways.

With a rough pineapple.

Our only hope now lies in the Electoral College deciding to go with the popular vote and casting the muppet down into the ignominy that he deserves. Which really is wishful thinking.

My

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Challenge #01409-C314: Whoops

I've always wondered what would happen if early version of Clark Kent dived into the wrong phone box. Namely that blue Police Call Box. -- Knitnan

London. The birthplace of the Western civilisation. It was more like a tourist spot that people lived in, now, but that didn't really matter. Clark was supposed to be covering some major deal where the royal family weighed in on an international trade partnership. He was to get as many exclusive photos as he could.

Or,

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Good news, bad news

Bad news: Trump won.

I blame the five million white people with no skin in the game who decided that a third party was the moral choice. Not so high and mighty now that the muppet won, are you?

Good news: The blipectomy was a success.

What felt like a grain of rice under my skin turned out to be a blob of flesh roughly the size of the bone inside the tip of the pinkie finger. And that blob is now

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Challenge #01408-C313: Razzle Dazzle

"Look! I don't care how popular they are. I'm looking for a workhorse not a showpony." -- Anon Guest

Alas, Devin was the only one. The popular candidate won by a landslide. Well, sort of a landslide. The less popular candidate, the one who unfortunately told the truth about the sorry state that the nation was in, lost by a thin margin that was entirely taken up by the never-going-to-win third party candidate.

If only the voters had seen what Devin had

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Yeep

Today's the day I get a blipectomy. Today's also the day I decided that it's just too hot and muggy to sport longer hair, so I shaved it off. And Beloved helped get all the bits I didn't because I can't see what I missed when I have my glasses off because I'm shaving my head.

And because I am made of mischief, we decided to dye the stubble a pale blue. Which means I'm currently soaking my scalp in bleach so

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Challenge #01407-C312: When I Say 'Run'...

"Run!" -- Knitnan

She'd seen him coming and started before he finished saying the word. It was a good run. Ground-eating and fast without being tiring. And, he felt, keeping pace with him because she was polite.

"Most people ask why," said the Doctor.

"If you're running, there's always a good reason," she said. "Teri Grace, Special Advisor to UNIT."

Ah. Yes. Well, that explained everything. "And you're here because?"

"There are other units monitoring the Coal Hill and Cardiff anomalies. I'm

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Getting (slowly) better

I had the first good sleep that I can remember since forever. I was actually able to get back to sleep after needing to get up to pee during the wee small hours. [Darn rosemary tea before bedtime] and I'm feeling less 'foggy' than previously.

The only side effect is a slight clogging of the airways that could easily be Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season up to its usual tricks. It feels like I'm breathing through a straw. Only the straw is inside

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Challenge #01406-C311: Yeth Mathter

"Good morning Mathter/Mithtress, it's tho hard to tell these dayth, my name ith Igor, and I'm here to help." Suddenly finding an Igor(a la Terry Pratchett) on your doorstep. -- Knitnan

"I'm hallucinating. I have to be hallucinating. You aren't real. I've finally broken my brain from lack of sleep..."

"A helping hand where needed, thir or madam," the Igor lurched inside.

"Mx," said Fran. "I'm non-binary." Ze yawned. "I got two jobs, college, and I'm babysitting... I don't think

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Finding a new level

I'm getting used to the sleepy/heavy feeling after a weekend of trying to sleep it off and failing.

I've fought through days with this kind of feeling before. Enough coffee, or enough stimulation, will keep me awake enough to function.

What I used to do is gorge myself on sugar. And that's a very bad idea for my diet and my dental health. They may be researching ways for people to regrow their dentin? But it hasn't filtered down to plebe

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Challenge #01405-C310: Friend of the Fae

There's a reason fairy rhymes with scary -- OohLookShiny

[AN: There's a reason why I use 'faerie' as a spelling for them]

Now let's be clear, faeries don't exist. Everyone knows that they're just old wives' tales about dangerous places that have long since be rendered safe...

But...

Just in case...

Don't fell a faerie tree. Don't disturb a standing stone. Keep away from the faerie hill. Never whistle at midnight when you're in the woods. Throw the salt over your shoulder.

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Feeling "heavy"

It's day three on my 'chill pills', aka Seratonin. I still don't know how much of my assorted symptoms are psychosomatic, but today is an old friend.

I'm feeling 'heavy'. It's kind of like trying to walk after you've been in the pool for a few hours. Gravity feels like you're walking on Saturn or some similar, high-gravity world. It's like that, only it doesn't easily wear off and it comes with a side of difficulty with my breathing.

It's not asthma.

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Challenge #01404-C309: Fluff

Actual or mental popcorn. --Knitnan

They were sitting together on the couch, with buckets of butter-flavoured popcorn, and watching an archived entertainment as part of Ambassador Shayde's greater day job.

Rael gradually acquired the sensation that this particular entertainment had little worth.

"Is there a message behind this?"

"Eh... no' really."

"Is it art?"

"I think it's s'posed'a be funny," she said, dripping popcorn into her waiting mouth. "I don't get a lot of it."

"Me neither." He frowned at a

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Chillaxin'

I'm having a lovely lazy Saturday, today.

Nothing more planned than slobbing about and having a good, old-fashioned relax-a-thon.

For example: I've taken twenty minutes to get this far.

And I've yet to make it to breakfast :P

I'd better go do that.

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Challenge #01403-C308: Making Wishes Three

Someone actually makes three sensible wishes. Knitnan

"Three wishes, you say," said Lynn. "May I think about them?"

"Of course," said the Djinn. "But no thinking out loud."

Lynn sat on a handy rock and took out her notebook and pencil. The good one with the decent eraser. She wrote, World peace and remembered that episode of the X-files. No. What she needed was unbreakable, unbendable, non-interpretable set of wishes. She stuck her chewelry gem in her mouth and got to really

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