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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12595 posts

Shenanigans! (Day Zero)

There's outbreaks in North Queensland linked to sewerage somehow. I'm vaguing on the details but there's also a beach? I don't know if it's related, so don't go connecting any dots.

We've had a firkin WEEK of Day Zeroes and it's honestly shitting me off. There's like five different articles calling for all of Australia to "finish the job" and I bet that's going to involve locking up all the firkin Karen Squad.

So far:

  • It's a Student-Free day for Chaos
  • Mayhem has his diagnosis papers! Yay!
  • I have fed my sourdough starters and attempted making more of a pancake out of the goop [results further on]
  • QLD's PM is being heavily criticised for making sure ANYONE from an infection zone quarantines for a fortnight
  • I need to go shopping
  • Unfuckening happens TODAY

For the goop, I usually harvest about one cup of tired sourdough starter. To this, this morning, I added roughly a quarter cup each of Malaney Dairies cream (the BEST stuff), and coconut milk. The vegan milk that makes sense in a tropical climate. Ahem.

Stirred carefully because the bowl I had was dangerously full by then, and then poured into a heated frypan with some melted salted butter. I like to scatter mine with chopped olives but what you top yours with is up to you. It takes longer to cook the goopier it is. For this one, it took forty minutes to cook the bottom, and then the regular twenty to do the top.

I'm letting it rest in the pan as the pan cools down.

Later, I will extract it to a chopping board and cut it into niblet-sized quadrangles - I hesitate to call them "squares" because I have an eye like a rotten eel. They are very good munchables and alongside last night's "butter chicken" style prawns with riced cauliflower, I have me some gorging to do. Yum.

Just glancing at the news today makes me not wanna do today, but... there's a lotta gotta do it today. Le sigh.

At least I got one duck to march...

Challenge #02794-G237: We Do Mean Anything

Me: Bears are f** terrifying. Some are bulletproof, their bones are strong enough to last though hibernation and are maul me to death with in a matter of seconds.

Also me: https://ifunny.co/fun/QrPytnfe7?s=cl -- Anon Guest

[AN: Video shows a Russian dude (I presume, the dialogue sounds Russian) playing with his FULLY GROWN PET BEAR. How fortunate we are, indeed, to live in a world full of creatures who love to be petted]

Humans will arrive with

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Thursday, Further Shenanigans, and Whoops No Ducks (Also Day Zero)

I'd ask what else could go wrong, but I know what happens to people who say blatantly silly things like that.

Long story short, the ducks I thought were ready to march are still lost in the pond. I will chase them down when I find some of that elusive free time. Today's shenanigans include finally changing the batteries in my car so Mayhem can get some driving in during the nonsense this arvo. Yay.

There's two more cases and they're all

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Challenge #02793-G236: Look He Likes You

I don’t know why, I want to pet this guy https://ifunny.co/fun/BUDyVF1h7?s=cl -- Anon Guest

[AN: Dear readers, the video linked is an alligator mating call. That reptile thinks the camera person is attractive o_O ]

Humans are well-known for wanting to pet every living creature on any given planet. Yes, even the toxic ones. There are Humans who keep toxic creatures as pets. There are Humans who laugh off "love bites" - but not from

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So Here's Teh PLN... (Day Zero)

Two new cases closely linked with a school (institution) and a hospital (also institution). Then there's that muggins from Victoria who got bagged by border control in Brisbane airport. Thanks, arsehat. Now an entire plane of people have to put their plans and lives on hold because you had to be an entitled git.

Onwards with Teh PLN because some of this nonse can't wait for one arsehat. I made myself a busy day. Just look at this:

  • Instant story
  • 100 words
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Challenge #02792-G235: Welcome to the League of Superlative Artifice

I liked the story about the Asian chef, who quickly made dinner from the would-be invaders.

I wonder what other adventures she and her crew would have?

Maybe their own version of a "beach episode"? Or perhaps the crew learn about a hobby she has, that she kept secret because she was embarrassed? Or maybe a new crew member arrives (he's a human too) and a love story arises?

P.S.

I really enjoy every story you wrote :D -- Tom

[AN:

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Tuesday and still day zero

Only one new case today and no news to find about where it is. My bet is Wacol. If not Wacol, then some institution where the protocols are sacrificed for cost-cutting.

Today, I shall offer up things I've written to my Patrons, and do my Instant as usual. There's also a minimum of a hundred words in KOSBOB that I'll do during Bus O'Clock.

Good news - I've returned to making those masks.
Bad news - I burned my finger in the

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Challenge #02791-G234: The Weather Outside...

"FLAKK IT ALL TO HELL!!" Human Bear roared as he punched his way out of the ice and snow of the Avalanche that had just swallowed him. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT!?" He raged at the mountain.

"Human Bear!" Vren cried. "We have 3 that are still trapped in the ice!"

Bear's rage instantly turned to terror. He had to find the lost ones before there Livesuits failed to to their jobs... -- Anon Guest

[AN: Bear's other stories are here and

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Monday - Day Zero, the Groundhoggening

Four more cases from Wacol. Again. There is definitely a pattern. Meat processing and institutions are hotbeds of infection.

New Zealand is emerging from their second wave lockdown and will now have to be on alert for the third. As long as the plague rages somewhere, places with sense will have to be firkin paranoid.

China now has a 'carrier killer' and the sabre rattling between them and the US intensifies.

One of the covidiots who went ackers from quarantine will become

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Challenge #02790-G233: One Star to Hang Hope On

The company existed for many centuries (even before the shattering!). They call themselves Michelin and their well know guide the “Michelin Guide” (a bit on the nose but ok). They expanded their assets across the galaxy, although they have many humans in the company due to the fact that humans can consume nearly anything presented to them, they are some other cognitive species that work as Inspectors, each has been trained and tested to create extensive reports of the courses that are

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Sunday! (Day Zero)

Four new cases, all linked to previous ones already found. No sign of Patient X as far as I know. Which makes the planned get-together later today potentially "interesting"...

None of us have been anywhere near the infected zones, but there's still Patient X. The unknown, infectious, potentially asymptomatic person who came into contact with the Melbourne Shoplifters, and is now roaming around random places and causing outbreaks in surprise locations.

Calling it now, they're a maskhole Karen for sure.

I have

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Challenge #02789-G232: Take This Sinking Ship

If you believe that Vigilantism can help a dying world, while also helping the underworld. You’re just another problem that’s need to be removed. If you truly believe that you can change your destiny, alter your fate. You better be ready to face the consequences. I’m not doing this for you, in doing this for the innocent lives you destroyed. -- Anon Guest

"Which ones were innocent?" said the vigilante. Their costume was a patchwork of police, special forces,

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Saturday, and more Day Zero

Three new cases linked to Wacol. Sigh. They really need to rummage through the back drawers to find where the flaws are in the protocol there. Then put some firkin plaster over it. Or something.

Today's PLN is very simple:

  • Write Instant
  • Eat carbs
  • Play games
  • Sleep early
  • Be up close to midnight to watch Toasty stream early in tomorrow

Yay.

I'm still staying away from a majority of the news, but it seems like institutions [for the elderly, for the disabled,

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Challenge #02788-G231: A Pearl in the Mire

That moment where one goes to soothe a fussy baby and finds a surprise handful of bare bottom. -- Someone's Mum

[AN: Worse is a handful of messy bottom. Been there, done that, had to disinfect all on sundry for an entire hour]

Long before Wraithvine met Thief, later renamed as Chrysanthemum and Anthe for short, Wraithvine stole a baby. Technically. It's not theft if the article in question has already been thrown away.

The child in question was a paradox in

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Friday (Day Zero)

Two new cases, according to the Queensland government. No details on the site I use about how when or why. I will likely find out from MeMum at a later interval.

I'm skimming the headlines, and apparently some Emus are dying of bird flu. Bad for Australia all around.

A returned traveller in Quarantine is suffering because asthma plus dust mite allergy plus a lack of balconies. I sympathise. She's definitely not a Karen, because she's been gracious to the people responsible

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