Amalgam Universe

A 2270-post collection

Challenge #03145-H236: Si Vis Pacem

si vis pacem, para bellum -- Anon Guest

[AN: According to my translator webpage, this means: If you want peace, prepare for war. I believe Sir Pterry (GNU) had much to say about that though the Patrician.]

Humans have said for centuries, for millennia, If you want peace, prepare for war. Given the number of concurrent wars happening anywhere on the planet during those same millennia, one can safely posit that they got this horribly wrong.

They also believed that space travel would bring about peace. In a way, they were correct. Once anyone with an ideal and a quorum of followers had enough to make a world in their own image, they did so. They left with high ideals and fertile dogma and were never heard from again. Much to the relief of everyone else who had to put up with them.

If the resultant deep-time colony was lucky, they would be found on the other side of their isolation as a culture with their own identity, morals, and traditions. Many just became graveworlds because the dogma was unsustainable.

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Challenge #03144-H235: Change Cometh From Above

You can open the cage of oppression and break the chains of slavery, but it's up to the individual whenever or not they step outside. For what does freedom really mean when demanded of you by a god? -- Anon Guest

To live was to work. To work was to live. Only the newborn were permitted hours of rest and sloth. All of them spent their time in darkness. The light of the sun was a privilege granted by the one on

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Challenge #03143-H234: Call it an Infrastructure Issue

It was an artificial planet, the makers had kidnapped young Deathworlders, including small human children, as forced labor because they were small and able to get into tight places. Some of the kids died getting trapped in areas where the air would run out. CRC learned of this horror, Pax Humanis was called in. The madmen who kidnapped the kids soon learned WHY you don't mess with children in the alliance. Especially since one of those kids was the little daughter of

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Challenge #03142-H233: Watch Out For the Little Ones

A crew of tough-as-nails space marines finds the lone survivor of a shipwreck that had been sending out distress signals. The planet itself was utterly uninhabitable, it was shocking the kid survived. The child, barely two years of age, became their mascot, and guarded treasure. This little child, a level 2 Deathworlder, would grow up with a large family, and space marines are a bit fierce about protecting those they love. -- Anon Guest

Trouble barely remembered life before they joined up

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Challenge #03141-H232: Human Enrichment Duties

There is NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING in this universe that is more dangerous than telling a human that is completely bored out of their mind, that something, anything, is impossible. -- Lessons

There are some cosmic laws that are inviolate. Never ask what can go wrong. Never play finesse games with a cogniscent nicknamed 'Slick'. Never try to eat anything bigger than your own head... and never EVER tell a Human what's impossible.

Nature hates a vacuum, Humans hate monotony. Though some flourish

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Challenge #03140-H231: Loco Parentis

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana Who?"

"Knock Knock"

exasperated! "WHO'S THERE??"

"Orange"

sigh! "Orange who?'

"Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?"

GROAN!!!!! -- Anon Guest

Some stages of childhood development seem to be a test of the parental's endurance. Some of those kids really make strangers wonder how they survive to adulthood. Just one of those stages is the discovery of jokes.

"Hey... hey... hey... hey...? Why do beans like to live

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Challenge #03139-H230: Pour Encourager l'Artistes

It took them a long time to get to the planet the Archivaas called home. But there was a reason they went there. Many, many generations of their family had been avid photographers, or as they jokingly called themselves, a whole family of "shutter-bugs". Photos and drawings from earth before the time of the shattering, before the first humans even went to the moon, albeit, very rough photos, all the way through the generations to digital media, saved in a large crate

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Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

Despite being Deathworlders themselves, they hired a human who was an expert at debugging computer systems, at engineering, and at improvising fast solutions when things went south. They looked like large, bipedal, cats, including claws that could pull in or be exposed when needed. They made sure they hired a human who was not allergic to fur, or felines. However, when the human started growing catnip, using it to sooth himself when they had trouble sleeping at night, the beings realized it

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Challenge #03134-H225: Caution - Humans Running

It doesn’t matter what species you are. If the ship’s engineer start running you better follow -- Anon Guest

Only Humans ever invented running as a recreational activity. Which is why places with a jogging track also have large volumes of warning labels. Before Humans joined the Alliance, even possessing something that could pass as a jogging track was never a priority. When one cogniscent was running, it was generally a good idea to run with them. They obviously knew

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Challenge #03133-H224: Learn From Mistakes

The four humans, on leave from the ships they work aboard, are sitting around a table with four boxes that simply read Dangerous Nuts High Scoville. Once known to humans as "The Death Nut Challenge". Grinning, and razzing each other, they're about to each see how much spiciness they can handle when a level 3 Deathworlder, full of arrogance, pulls up a chair and demands to join them. After all, these squishy, weak-looking, apes are eating what is just five little nuts,

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Challenge #03131-H222: Artisinal Friend

They sat alone, quietly eating their meal. Their shoulders were slumped, their head was down, they had the forlorn look of a lonely, bereft, individual who'd completely given up on life itself. When a kind cogniscent tried to sit with them, they softly mumbled something apologetic and, quietly, obviously reluctantly, moved away to an even more distant, emptier, corner. The person went back to their friends, their eyes sad, filled with compassion.

"What did they say?"

"They said bad-luckers who cause their

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Challenge #03130-H221: But We Love Them...

The crew ends up getting stuck on a Level 2 Deathworld and the Humans tame a few of the large omnivores and train them to be ridden. At least until rescue arrives.

"No you CAN'T bring it with, Humans!" -- Anon Guest

Over half of the plantlife was generically toxic. The other half had to be processed in order to be edible more than once[1]. The wildlife was neither shy nor retiring. So, of course, the Ships' Humans flakking loved it,

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Challenge #03129-H220: Not the Intended Use

They'd been using the juices from a bright yellow fruit brought from the Terrans so long ago. They used it to eat away grease from engines and as an industrial-strength solvent, and to remove adhesives from various surfaces. Mixed another way, as a cleaning material that left a fairly pleasant scent. So imagine their surprise when humans were found to be plucking the fruit from the trees, mixing the juice with water and a little sugar, and drinking it! -- Anon Guest

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Challenge #03128-H219: It's Not Just a Cold

A Deregger escapee has an unusual quirk that makes them, of all things, immune to the immunoflu. Unfortunately, that means they're apt to contract the illnesses the immunoflu is meant to prevent, and catches a cold. -- Anon Guest

They told Pel he was lucky to survive. Once they discovered his truly peculiar genetic abnormality, those tellings doubled. The immunoflu was one of Humanity's Greatest Hits[1], since humanity could not contain or cure the common cold, they tamed it. Using the

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Challenge #03127-H218: Close Encounters of the Telegenic Kind

People of the Alliance go to the deadliest country on the planet Earth, Australia, and meet the happiest animal on the continent. The quokka.

https://bestlifeonline.com/quokka/ -- Lessons

This was odd for a Havenworlder tour of a Deathworld. They expected to visit the safer areas of Earth and thereby toughen up their genes via epigenetics. They were understandably alarmed to learn that they were visiting Australia. The one part of Earth that was almost at level five[1]. After the

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