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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01347-C252: Could They Pick a Worse Team?

I am a ____ agent, I have a voice synthesiser in my throat. I can do any accent you can think of! Unfortunately I've lost the instructions at the moment... And my voice box is stuck on shop demonstration. -- Anon Guest

"Héllo, Madarm. I am hére to see your studént Camila Rodriguéz."

The school secretary looked at the badge, and the agent, and grew a very concerned look.

"Yés. I am a PINATA agént, I have a voice synthésisér in my throat. I can do any accént you can think of. Unfortunately I've lost the instructions at the momént... And my voice box is stuck on shop démonstration." Agent #99 rolled hir eyes in frustration. "It is a véry popular démo."

"You... don't... look real."

"That is bécause I am also an AI with a human soul. It's a long story. Our organisation needs Miss Rodriguéz."

One hand had drifted closer to the red button that would put the school on lockdown. "I've... never heard of PINATA... what are you going to do her?"

"Pérvading Invéstigations of National And Térréstrial Arcana, ma'am. We do not inténd harm to Miss Rodriguéz. Shé is in posséssion of an artifact of some concérn. Wé bélieve it may bé bondéd to hér, so wé inténd to éducate hér in its propér use. And wélcome hér into our ranks."

The subtle, drifting hand rested on the button. "Will you make her like you?"

"My disability is the résult of a freak accidént, I assure you. Wé inténd no harm to come to Miss Rodriguéz."

In retrospect, Agent #99 should not have repeated hirself. That sort of thing tended to unnerve the mortals. Ze sighed and left the school without any further argument, trudging all the way to a deliberately nondescript electronics repair van.

Ze opened the door and hopped inside. "I told you that this was the wrong place for mé to try going in solo."

"Well, it's still too bright for me to do a glamour," said the driver. Anyone looking directly at them would have nightmares for the rest of their life. Except, apparently, Agent #99.

"Wé will have to wait, régardléss. Théy nééd time to calm down."

The creature at the steering wheel sighed. "Worst. Assignment choice. Ever."

"Mm-hm," agreed Agent #99.

(Muse food remaining: 22. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

New regime

Beloved's been undergoing a run of tests, lately, to discover the root behind an accelerated heart rate. And the answer, dear readers, is diabetes plus cholesterol.

Since I'm still undergoing my own battery of tests, in regards to that same vital muscle, we both figured it'd be great if we got into some healthier habits. Which means breakfast for both of us, morning walks together, and mutual self-maintenance schedules.

The tricky things to do are way less tricky when there's company. It's

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Challenge #01346-C251: Purse of Holding

Like the Tardis it's 'bigger on the inside'. It can be anything carryable from a Ladies handbag (a notorious source of strange objects), to one of those pull along "granny" trailers, or whatever you like. -- Knitnan

"Here. You'll need this."

It looked like a small, leather pouch. There was some beading on it that had evidently not been designed with hard use in mind. But, it didn't feel like a small, leather pouch. It felt indefinably heavier. "What is this?"

"Bag

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Can they see me?

Neil Gaiman said something interesting on his Tumblr, today. The whole post is here but the meat of it is this:

Your job isn’t to convince your teachers that they are wrong, just as it’s not your job to accept their prejudices. Your job is to learn enough from them that when you become a famous writer, whether of fantasy or of something else, they’ll have to be proud of you anyway.

And it's a lovely, inspiring message. There's

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Challenge #01345-C250: Well You Took Your Time

Prompt: the hollow coconut TONK noise that can be produced by tapping the right place on top of someone's head if their mouth is open. -- Gallifreya

[AN: Grats, you got me to hit myself on the head several times]

Rael was currently being a small, blue-black dog that 'just happened' to be where this backwards colony of humans had put Ambassador Shayde.

They had evidently landed with the best technology of their launch-era, but the process of building a colony and

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New and interesting ways of fucking up

I usually try to never make the same mistake twice. That often leads to the title of this blog entry.

I just got over a major depressive bout (I'm still in the fragile stages FYI) and discovered that my breathing problems might just be because I'm actually having lung trouble rather than emotional issues.

It's a process of elimination, folks.

Experiencing breathing difficulty:

  • Is it a rhinovirus? Nope. Got over that.
  • Is it depression? Nope. Got over that (mostly).
  • Is it my
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Challenge #01344-C249: Blindly Winning

Lion and Connie - without Steven -- Gallifreya

Steven? Connie opened her eyes. Pink fur. Cotton-candy mane. Steven's lion. She was in the middle of a small circle of clear air, or what seemed to be clear air. The meadow and the flowers under her feet soon vanished under the eldritch shapes of the obscuring fog.

"Where's Steven?" said Connie. "Do you know?"

Lion just licked her face.

There was... a Homeworld Gem called Moonstone. She had the power to summon obscuring

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What a wonderful day for my messed-up mind

Yesterday, I was having a sort-of ok day. As in, I didn't feel completely atrocious and that was a step forward. One... giant leap, if you will.

BUT I also noticed that my asthma meds were playing me up and I really should talk to the Quack because I should not be oscillating so frequently between tremula and lack of air.

According to my nails, I'm getting plenty of oxygen. According to my sensation of breathing, I'm struggling to get air.

That's

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Challenge #01342-C247: The Terra Curse

1) More has been added to the post about "aliens trying to invade and being foiled by wildlife" http://sharpestscalpel.tumblr.com/post/148783332263/professorofeljay-myurbandream-jabberwockypie

2) Quick, think of a couple of characters that got made for one of these prompts and write something about them -- Gallifreya

[AN: This puts the gap count down to 4. Also, callback to this post]

1)

The first Tyrvaki colony to settle picked what they thought was a nice place. It was nice enough for

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Deeeeeeep breaths...

I have an old slanguage term from my childhood days of shaking off disease. It's 'dishraggy'. As in, feeling like a limp, slightly greasy, overdue for a wash, dishrag.

It's a very floppy feeling. The effort to raise an arm is barely worth it. The greasiness resides in the soul, and can't be washed out with all the hot bubblebaths in the world.

So, in short, I am feeling 'better'. For limited definitions of 'better. I'm more mentally prepared to be functional,

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Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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I hate this firkin spiral

Depression sucks. Spoonlessness sucks. I have no energy because I have the sads. I have the sads because I feel like I let everyone down. I let everyone down because I lack the energy to do things for everyone. I lack the energy to do things for myself.

Down and down I go
Round and round I go
In a spin...

Well it ain't that old black magic called love, that's for sure. I know where I'm headed and it isn't a

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Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

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Urggh, I feel GROOOOSSSSSS

There's a cartoon that's shared often on Tumblr, and I relate to it greatly today.

Original Post

In my case, I've got anxiety, depression, and malaise all queueing up behind the aches and pains. Along with the usual self-doubt and defeatism that makes my life such a fun, rollercoaster-esque, dizzying, mad whirl 9_9

And in the back of my head, there's this firkin annoying little optimist who insists that I can do the thing because it will be "such fun". Yeah

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Challenge #01339-C244: Signed, Sealed, and Ignored

If you write a letter of complaint or ask questions by handwritten letter, the recipient is duty bound to answer. Really good way to keep "The Hired Help" aka Politicians and Bureaucrats on their toes. -- Knitnan

Dear Employee, wrote Carval Seng. Letters that started like this were never a good sign for the recipient.

Seng wrote carefully and distinctly about the lack of maintenance between elections, of how people in hir district would like to see the orange of maintenance uniforms

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