Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Sideways!

It doesn't matter which order things are done in, only that they are done. Therefore, it's no surprise that my little darlings have adapted to the 'get up and do it' routine whilst my Beloved still drags their heels.

Mayhem has taken to sorting the laundry as part of his morning routine. Chaos still needs a lot of reminding, but she is getting used to the way things are meant to go.

Beloved... is working late because Melbourne Cup. Their work gets a great deal of traffic in November and shoring up the servers is always work for when the office is relatively empty. And they need babysitting because since when has a vital upgrade ever gone smoothly?

That's right. Never.

My plans to co-write a book with some friends have gone down the tube. Alas alack. BUT the good news is that I have permission to go forth and write it myself. With a few minor changes.

Writing commences officially in 2018. But I've written enough world-building facts to start it today. O, for some resolve not to write it immediately. I have to focus on Beauties and the Beastly.

I have enough titles and potential in my queue to keep me going until 2033. I should definitely have some form of fandom by then. And I can only hope that it doesn't turn septic.

Some fandoms are great. Some... are possessive. And some turn in on themselves and go rotten. The fandom is not the thing. You can love the thing without loving the fandom. Hell, you can love the thing without loving the creator of the thing. It's allowed.

And when my fandom blooms... if it blooms at all... I will have no control whatsoever over what they choose to do. And that's a little on the scary side.

But I'll never get a fandom if I don't ship KFZ off to the next agent-in-waiting. Ah, procrastination, please fuck right off.

Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

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S-L-O-W-L-Y

If there's anything more irritating to live with than a case of the Slo-Mo's, I can't think of it right now.

I couldn't get to sleep until Beloved came home. Well, not properly. I managed to cat-nap until that time. And then I woke at four in the morning. Too tired to sleep.

Which is a bitch if there ever was one.

Since Beloved was home late, I gave up on the morning walk and dived straight into getting the kids organised.

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Challenge #01370-C275: Homicidally Annoying

"Are you eating cereal? It's 8pm."

"Specific mealtimes are social constructs that have no real impact on our lives."

"Is that my cereal?"

"O-ownership is a social construct that..." -- OohLookShiny

There are drawbacks to rooming with a pseudo-intellectual. First was having to know the thesaurus just to have a conversation with them. The second was not murdering them for their constant over-corrections.

And the third...

Madrass(not his real name. He claimed it was 'more spiritual') had taken over the couch.

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Yoiks and Awaaaaaay...

Once again, I got rejected. Once again, I do this nonse:

[Shown: Daffy Duck repeatedly swinging into a tree]

I figured this was going to take some time. When I run out of likely candidates in one agency, I will try another. Until I run down to the bottom of my 30-person list.

Only then will I put up Kung Fu Zombies on Amazon and Smashwords.

But in the meantime, there's a new short story for free. It's currently only available in

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Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

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I'm 44

...and everything's gone to shit. I got rejected by yet another agent, the birthday card from MeMum hasn't arrived yet (three raspberries for the Aussie postal service), and the careful timing of this morning did not account for Beloved dragging their feet until such time that I have to do my blogging on the road. Huzzah.

Thank providence for laptops, mobile hotspots, and USB car charger ports. Otherwise, I would be supremely miffed at my Beloved.

All going well, I will achieve

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Challenge #01368-C273: Insane Genius

While I love Humans as Space Orcs, can we get some exploration of this theory, that humanity's 'hat' in the galaxy full of Planet of Hats that is Star Trek is that we're Doc Brown? Please note the reason Scotty's Chief Engineer of the Enterprise, as well as the Vulcan Science Academy's interactions. (Also this might explain why the multispecies Federation ships in TOS-era seem to be crewed in an almost entirely monospecies manner, what with that all-Vulcan ship in one episode,

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Swag Day!

Celebrations are done and I have yet to scoop up the wrapping paper. But this year was a decent haul.

Beloved gift-wrapped the meds I sent them to get and the pegs I asked for. Sneaky sod. But I also got some sweet tech out of the deal.

  • A shower speaker that I can blue-tooth link to my phone and blast Steam Powered Giraffe whilst I lather up.
  • A bluetooth radio deelie that I can also link with my phone and have
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Challenge #01367-C272: Health and Safety

Velociraptor Incident Safety Placard. Either the scenario posited, or something else of your devising (also consider that one pedant who points out they forgot to account for leap years. Me. I'm the pedant.). -- RecklessPrudence

There were jokes that were made to be regretted. Anything with the N-word in the middle of it is a good example. But this one...

It was designed like every other safety poster in the labs. Except this one was about being a velociraptor-free workplace. And it

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...party?

My birthday is this Tuesday, so we're having a little mini-party today. Cake, family, and presents. Nothing huge, hugely expensive, or extravagant.

I still count that trip to Tucson in March as a late-Christmas/early-birthday present combo. That was a budgetary blowout of epic proportions. Therefore anything extra today is a blessing.

Beloved has promised me something I will enjoy but they will probably regret. I have to confess to being interested in seeing what the heck it is. And then try

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

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Merry October

It's the first of October and I've yet to isolate anything for Chaos' costume, this year. She wants to be her gemsona, sweet child.

That means a wee bit of running around for things. Including the figuring out of how to do the gem on the cheap. Green leggings and arm things. The more skin I cover with fabric, the less I have to cover with makeup. Even when I know where to get some good stuff on the cheap? It's just

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Challenge #01365-C270: Simple Message, Complex Bottle

They told us to tell you hello. Details here. Bring a box of tissues. -- RecklessPrudence

It was a constructed thing. Shr'dlu could see that much, even with a fine coating of space dust and a scattering of micrometeor damage. And it had come the long way to this particular patch of debris, floating in the eternal night.

The fact that it was large enough to be a survival pod had made Shr'dlu take it in for examination in the first place.

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Achievement Unlocked

The plastics cupboard has had all its non-essential and extra-cluttering items removed! Hooray. Now, if we should ever need more than three large or medium Systema sealing articles, we can toddle up to the shed and fetch them. I mean, we have HUGE amounts of plastic containers.

Now, we need no more.

Still on the agenda is the pots cupboard and the gizmos cupboard. The least-use doohickeys will head shed-wards, but the other stuff for pots and pans might be an issue

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