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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01622-D161: An Unlikely Misadventure

“I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?” -- RecklessPrudence

"We're on a steam-powered space ship," said the Doctor. "Something has to be on fire or it wouldn't be working." He didn't look at Kev. He was more interested in the pipes and valves that seemed to make up a majority of the corridor decor. He was busy trying to work out what they were for and where they went.

"Yes, but... theoretically... If the wrong thing was on fire... is there one?"

"Steam. Powered. Space ship. There should be one on every corner. But there isn't. Why?"

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PLNs

Today's big ToDo is: Investigate Patreon.

Nobody's said a word about the thing, so I'm guessing that nobody has an objection about it. I'm terrified, despite the fact that I know damn well that the people sponsoring me on Patreon will be coming in as a trickle, not as a flood.

It's not as if I have a lot of people reading this blog anyway.

Yes, this URL is the hub for my everything, but... I get the increasing feeling that hardly

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Challenge #01621-D160: Brothers? Useless.

"Yes! I have brothers, and none of them know one end of a spanner from another, Or bother to read the manuals." Lady mechanic fixes Male breakdown person. Anti-trope the Heck out of this. -- Knitnan

Broken down in the middle of nowhere and no cell service. "This is how every horror movie ever starts," Dan whined.

"You got some tools in this heap?" asked Pixie. "Maybe I could have a look and see what's going on."

Dan didn't scoff. It was

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Whups

So I fucked up, yesterday, and didn't post the paragraphs and shortcut to yesterday's fresh story. As far as I'm aware, only ONE of my readers even bothered to point this out.

This site is pretty much me whining about stuff and occasionally pointing at other cool things I've done.

Other things I did not do - work on SESP.

That's right. I farted most of my day away and didn't look at my email or even do much that was productive

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Challenge #01620-D159: Dog or Not Dog?

https://iopele.tumblr.com/post/161055518912/roachpatrol-thefingerfuckingfemalefury

"there’s an educational trivia game at the citadel on the exhibits on different planets called “Dog or Not?” that shows pictures of various four legged mammals and asks if they’re a breed of dog.

it was mainly for kids to learn about the diversity of earth’s flora and fauna but it became popular with adult aliens too and had to be shut down after almost causing no less than three diplomatic incidents.

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So I went and saw _The Mummy_ yesterday

Beloved is still a fan of Tom "gone completely gonzo" Cruise for reasons that I do not understand. And I have to say that Universal really should have stayed with the Brendan Fraser Mummy movies because those were made of awesome. Well. The first one was made of awesome. The rest had increasing concentrations of suck.

You all know about the 'sweet spots' in the movie frame, thanks to the links I put into yesterday's rant about Pervy Cam. Well, let me

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Challenge #01619-D158: This is the Best Thing

Super person comes to rescue of someone they are really Big Fans of. Marvel, D.C. Whatever.

Brownie points for "OMG! You're Them!" moment. -- Knitnan

Being a Power isn't as much fun as the comic books would make you believe. For a start, the seemingly endless battles with the Big Bad hardly ever happen. And when they do, it's not something you want to live through. Most of my life is patrolling the streets and trying to stop trouble before it

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Pervy Cam

It's in every romcom. It sometimes appears when the Action Gal cleans up for some undercover espionage at some high-ticket gala. It's definitely there when the lead female in any procedural drama has a flashy new outfit.

The camera pans from her shoes, lovingly framing her torso, and cuts away within a few seconds of seeing her expression so the viewers can see the extended look of awe/appreciation on the person viewing her1.

That's just one trick of Pervy Cam.

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Challenge #01618-D157: Worms?

Earworms, those tunes that get into your head and drive you nuts, from jingles to inane pop tunes. -- Anon Guest

There was something wrong with Human Steve. All the K'shardi could detect it, even those who were not skilled at detecting flaws in the ship's human. It was the way that Human Steve kept wincing and flinching that set everyone on edge.

Humans were Deathworlders. Deathworlders were very hard to permanently harm. Therefore, anything that annoyed a Deathworlder had to be

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Incredible Age Gap

Of all the romance tropes that exist, it's the older-guy, twenty-something gal that's the most irritating, and it ties directly to this trope here. Men get old, women get replaced.

It's almost as if all women are worth is how good they look. This is evidenced in all the post-makeover shots where the camera lovingly pans up the beautified girl in question from the tips of her toes... but doesn't always make it all the way to her face.

I call it

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Challenge #01617-D156: Reaching Out

What if someone decided they would not 'Get Even', what if they thought this 'payback with interest has gone on long enough' and just walked away from the whole mess. -- Knitnan

Those who fail to learn from the lessons of history, it is said, are doomed to repeat them. This is not just limited to those who fail their History tests. The moving finger may have written, but it tends to write in circles. Ninety percent of all wars are declared

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Tropes That Annoy Me: Surprise Sex

We've all seen that movie. Action Guy and Action Gal or Damsel Gal do not get along for the entire firkin movie. Except near the third act when they kiss for no good reason and then suddenly have sex.

Sometimes, they don't even kiss. They just go at each other in a sudden and unexpected display of lust.

It's so far out of left field that it's circumnavigated the globe and come in from the right field.

And it's supremely annoying.

Especially

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Challenge #01616-D155: But What is it For?

Soft Teddy bears given to people in stress, usually children who are hurt or rescued. The thing about Teddy Bears is they don't judge you, they are just soft, and smiling and invite a shared hug. -- Knitnan

Pulled from a lifepod. Still in shock. Bright lights and confusing noises and too much. Far too much. Way too much to deal with at once. People in frightening suits all getting into her face. She didn't know anyone. Didn't know where she was

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Round Round Run Around...

I'm run around...

For some reason, the post office likes to send you texts about your parcel WAY after they're closed. Maybe they're arsehats. I dunno. But this morning's trail of confusion also involves a trip to North Lakes to get the parcel I don't even remember ordering.

Nothing I've put into the works has shipped yet, as I recall...

Anyway, I will find out what it is soon enough. My flight path coincides with opening hours, so I'll see what I

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Challenge #01615-D154: MWA-HAHAHA!

"You think I'm evil? Well, am I evil just because I want to kill you? Am I evil just because I would rather tear you limb from limb and watch you bleed out one at a time, and I’m genuinely sad I won’t be able to before your friends arrive? Am I evil just because after I’m done here I’m going to go to your town and slaughter everyone you have ever loved out of pure spite?"

"W-what?

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