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InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12134 posts

Tuesday, Day Zero, big day

There's FIVE new cases today. They're all from overseas and caught in quarantine, and the number is back up to thirteen. Yeeks.

I hate it when the total cases are in double figures. Yes, I am aware that other nations have it worse than us, but still. This pairs well with the news that the UK variant of the plague has come to Adelaide.

Brief reprise of Huzzah, We're All Going to Die by Morons...

I have unfuckening PLN'd and Patreon stuff to post as well as the usual story du jour. Today's Patrons will see a preview of my entry to Tale Foundry's weekly challenge. 350 words on a theme and I think the trick is stir in dragons.

My $5 Patrons will know what I'm talking about.

In the headlines:

  • Plague still rife in Sydney
  • Media turns against Muppet
  • Man stabbed by mum slapped with restraining order
  • New hotspots for plague in NSW
  • This summer set to be wet
  • Muppet finally signs approval to $600 stimulus cheques for all
  • USA resident in Melbourne confused by the local dialect makes YouTube video about it
  • Australia's vaccine plan includes making sure everyone in the nation can get a shot, and that said shot is safe for kids and pregnant people
  • Ivanka Trump set to move into an Island Bunker for Billionaires
  • Big Woolies has super sale on vacuum cleaners and everyone's stoked about that, apparently

In personal news, I'm thinking about adding, Gender-bending Tumblrina who writes LGBTIAQ propaganda to my Tungl profile. I'm weighing the pros and cons. I shall ask my voice of reason when Beloved wakes up.

Let's get onto that Patreon stuff.

Challenge #02908-G351: Engagement Approval Feast

A: How do you like my fiancé cooking?

B: ... marry him

A: th-that’s the plan

B: Marry him faster -- Anon Guest

There is one hurdle when introducing a potential lifemate to Abuela. How well does the intended cook? Not just one dish, several. Not just one meal. A variety of them. There would be no useless partners collected under Abuela's watch.

"My husband, much though I loved him, was useless," she said as she told the tale. "When I fell

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Monday, Day One, a breather

The grand post-crimbolio unfuckening is happening tomorrow. This means that I'll be arranging all of that and mixing in Patreon stuff as well.

Fun.

I may have to throw out food. Not my favourite thing. The rest of the family is not a fan of sweet things and the sweet things are going off.

Sigh.

I'm going to write an Instant. I may post some Patreon nonsense early. I don't know. I'll see how I feel about things when I get there.

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Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Human A: "If you try to kill yourself, I will fight you."

Human B: "...I would not win that fight."

(Note: This is part of a conversation that I actually had with my suicidally depressed partner. And yes, if I thought he was going for it, I would totally fight him.) -- Anon Guest

This, alarmingly, was a common conversation between the two Ship's Humans of the Fanciful Deal. Human Zae had issues that manifested as periodic bouts of severe depression. Their

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Challenge #02906-G349: Warmed in the Weave

The human was both engineer and bodyguard aboard a ship of havenworlders. In their down time, they enjoyed both knitting and crocheting. They had an old blanket that they'd kept from when they were a child and, when things went bad, it comforted them after the event had passed and the enemies were defeated. A way to calm themselves. Having an idea, they began to make small, soft, blankets, one for each of their havenworlder crewmates. After all, why should they be

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Saturday, Day Zero, Nonsense

Two new cases today, taking the total cases up to twelve, today. I did not check the totals yesterday, hence the difference.

I'm still not going near the headlines without a 40' barge pole. It's bound to be crabonkers out there. 'Tis the season.

Today, at a later hour, I shall be driving MeMum back to her humble abode. An event which poor Jolie is looking forward to because she hates it when strangers are in the house. Poor little fuzzball's terrified

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Challenge #02905-G348: Fresh Out of the (Brain) Pan

A gingerbread man lives in a gingerbread house. Is the house is made of flesh, or Is he made of house? He screams for he does not know. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I do recall a comic on this theme, so it is hard to not riff on that. No, it's not the one you referenced.]

Sugar, spice, everything nice, a modicum of flour. All the things that make a treat. Hands moulded them into shapes. Imagination gave them life. Well. Some

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Thursday, Day Zero, PLN'ng

So here's the agenda:

  1. Unfuck the house
  2. Fetch MeMum

Somewhere in there, I get to:

  1. Write my instant.

This is placed in order of importance. Whether today's story appears sometime before nightfall or soon-to-now.

Muppet now has a tinfoil-hat level conspiracy theorist arguing voter fraud in court. I wonder where I can livestream the judges laughing at this. He's going to keep on going, ISTG... "save your MAGA hats, the Muppet will rise again" etc. Bleurgh.

Let's see what I can do

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Challenge #02904-G347: Ancient Terran Humour

trust me -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a black page with a purple button that also reads TRUST ME. If you click it, you get a page full of the Pokemon Ditto dancing to The Conga. You will definitely get fired if you're caught viewing this in the office]

This was a vault made by Humans. The way to get through varying doors was to solve puzzles involving bits of Human culture that -according to the Humans who made it-

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Wednesday, Day One, Hunkering

Tomorrow, I am unfuckening the house, then going on a cross-country expedition to bring MeMum over for the holiday. The story will happen later, if I don't manage to squeeze it in before I take off.

Fully expect to not see it until WAY later in the day. Yuletide traffic is always a bitch. I can try to keep it brief, but you should all know by now that the story takes me where it wants to go and if that happens

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Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]

Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem

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Tuesday, Day Zero, Patreon

Queensland's closed its borders again because -join the chorus- entitled visitors from overseas have skipped past quarantine protocols and caused yet another outbreak down south.

One new case. Ten active cases. At least the potential for Karens is sinking.

Sigh.

There's mutation in Europe that has OF COURSE made its way to the USA because there's no such thing as safety protocols in the States. We may need a second vaccine. We may need a series of vaccines. For all we know

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Challenge #02902-G345: Escape By Mercy

They had nothing to give, no funds what so ever. With them was their youngest sibling, unable to move due to the injuries so severe that even the best medicine around could not fix it. Their only hope were the B'Nari. The sibling wept, feeling terrible because their beloved family was going through so much for them since the accident. But kept being assured that it was the least they could do since the injuries which caused the complete paralysis of the

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Monday, Day Zero, Mistakes are being made

Not only is there an outbreak in Sydney, but there's a deadline for Queenslanders to get back into Queensland with no obvious decrees to self-isolate afterwards.

I'm giving it a maximum of three weeks before we get a "fucking whoops" out of this.

GDI public health is more important than one public holiday. FFS. If they ban road travel tomorrow, I'll roll with that. Because PUBLIC HEALTH ALSO INCLUDES ME.

We have eleven total cases, with two new ones from overseas. That's

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