Like Arthur Dent, I can't quite get the hang of Thursdays. They sneak up on me and surprise me with things like - impending Fridays.
It isn't a Gaming Night, but it is a Cleaning Day. On top of that, I have self-imposed goals like my novel, the Instant, the flash fanfic, learning Java, and doing something for one of my other side projects...
I've decided to split my HAM on days of X. Like today, my X is unriddling how boxes work for the incremental clicker thing. Yesterday, it was making a technically functional thing in RPG Maker. Which I accomplished.
Now I have two technically functional Things with the end product in mind. My mission now is to learn how to unfuck every aspect of it, add my own art if possible, and turn it into the Thing of my vision. Or a close enough approximation of the same.
I know my limits. I'm at that age where new stuff starts to be baffling, I have the Fickle Finger when it comes to technology1. I have more or less cemented my art style, such as it is, and I don't think any great leaps ahead are in my future.
Having a close enough approximation may be my peak.
And that's okay. Near enough can be good enough when you're battling your limits. Breaking your heart for perfection is never actually worth it, and just ends up in a spiral down to depression again.
Been there, done that, don't want the return ticket.
Depression and anxiety are my constant come-again foes. They are the Daleks to my Doctor, the Team Rocket to my Ash. Always coming back and never being truly defeated for once and all. Setting personal pitfalls like this just helps me with the witty banter whenever they pop up again.
And that's okay. It's a strategy I can use to keep my keel just that little bit more even the next time the storms come for me.
Until then, I just do what I can.
Like 'black thumbs' for gardeners. ↩