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Challenge #02158-E329: Shattering Performance

The noise was indescribable, and practically cleaning the windows. -- Anon Guest

If there is any sound in the entire planar system to be feared, it is that of a Kobold Bard about to commence a Traditional Kobold Folk Song.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..." the Bard took another deep breath, "Eeeeenouncing salutations, my merry pack this day... We celebrate the ending of a knight who came to slay..."

Kobolds, being creatures of darkness and tunnels, had bats to teach them what music was. They do not share the views of sunsiders who had birds to sing and inspire the first songs. Thus it was that the Kobolds and other underdwellers were the only ones clapping along. That included Lady Anthe, who had spent time in both realms. The sunsiders, attempting to be polite in a rare festival atmosphere of friendship, had smiles approaching grimaces and the thoughtful look of people attempting to work out how to politely stick their fingers in their ears.

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Challenge #02157-E328: The Melody Lingers On

few things annoy or irritate a human more than an unfinished tune or ditty...

ESPECIALLY the simplest ones, notably "a shave and a Haircut" and "Pop goes the Weasel" -- Adam in Darwin

Humans have an alarming attachment to rhythm and melody for a species so centred on sight. Many prefer to have "their tunes" in the background during work, and many more are victim to the Ice/Pressure phenomenon[1]. Humans say that music is a universal language, but even they

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Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

It wasn't that Humans were suicidal, nor are they intrinsically self absorbed.

They just understand better than even most Herd like species, that sometimes the only way to save the masses is to sacrifice the few, preferably themselves.

That doesn't mean they went quietly, or easily. -- Adam in Darwin

It only takes a moment. A split-second decision along the lines of, Here is where I stand and fight. The lucky few see it in the Human's eyes just moments before the

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Challenge #02155-E326: Alone in the Night

It was a single dot in the blackness of space. All it did was shout 'I am!' to the surrounding cold dark. -- Anon Guest

This is space - lots of it is very dark, except for the bits of it that aren't. When there is light enough to see by, one could be completely unaware of the plethora of light surrounding one, and therefore think that the blackness of the void is infinite. Technically, it is. It is also peppered

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Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

[NAME] winced slightly. "It's a dog, Major. A companion animal."

"Looks like a class 3 bio engineered weapon to me!" -- Anon Guest

The creature was huge. Even sitting down, it was almost as tall as a human. It was almost as wide as a human. Only the wagging tail distinguished it from a Terran bear. That, and the lolling tongue, dripping saliva as the animal panted. The human by its side agitated some fur by a nub that could have been

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Challenge #02153-E324: Canned Exodus

The Mom Mobile, either a titchy little car that is slightly larger than a phone booth or the massive Soccer Mom, haul anything including the whole team. -- Anon Guest

Men carry money. Women carry the world. -- Ancient Human Proverb.

Galactics can easily tell which gender secured the Human escape vessel. The tiny ones that barely fit the number of survivors and a minimal amount of survival supplies are generally procured by the males. The large and bulky ones with room

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Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

"The group was brought back to Hamburg to stand trial, where they were sentenced to death by beheading. Resigned to his death, Stortebeker struck up a bizarre deal with the mayor. His pirates would be lined up in a row when he was decapitated. The mayor promised to free as many men as Stortebeker’s headless body could walk past.

This must have seemed like a raw deal for the pirates, who had doubtlessly witnessed the effects of multiple beheadings in their

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Challenge #02152-E323: Meet the Neighbours

"You know, Master, there is this ice-filled uninhabited continent in the South. ...Are we sure it was always ice-filled and uninhabited?" -- Anon Guest

"Currently, Bickreese, the population is entirely penguins and sea lions. In summer, there is moss and algae. Hardly anything to write home about, really."

"I know you said that," Bickreese was naturally nervous, but here, where nights lasted six months, he was more nervous than normal. "That's why you decided to build your secret lab here, under the

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Challenge #02151-E322: Easily Entertained

Human: ha, dogs are so easily amused. I just watched this one Chase his tail for 15 minutes straight

Alien: You spent 15 minutes watching a dog chase its tail

Human: yeah, that's what I just said

Alien: and the dog is the one whose easily amused

Human: ...yes?

Alien: (sarcastically) okay, sure that makes sense -- OohLookShiny

The list of dangerous things in the known universe had once, paradoxically, contained entries on both "quiet humans" and "laughing humans". It has since

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Challenge #02150-E321: Deal With the Deity

"I know that you are a higher being, like a god or something. But, for the love of everything that's sacred, can you please stop playing with the basic laws of physics for five minutes ?" -- Anon Guest

"Aw, but it's fun," said the Roaming Deity. A gesture made the Kobold Rogue now known as Lady Anthe float up to the ceiling again.

She bobbed around with a very put-upon expression on her tiny, draconic features. She had only shrieked once, when

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Challenge #02149-E320: Don't Wanna Live Underground

"Graham, there's some very large lizards down here. We should leave."

"After I've gotten these mineral samples. Anyway, it's only a lizard, what's the problem?"

"Its jaws are around my ankle." -- Anon Guest

Graham looked. This was just one among the many reasons why Planetary Survey Teams had combat-ready livesuits as part of their essential equipment. The lizard in question looked like a boa constrictor had somehow had children with a sarcosuchus and, owing to the subterranean environment, didn't have much

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Challenge #02148-E319: Mutual Flailing With Shouting

"Good news Commander, there is a settlement with enough material to repair our ship, the inhabitant seems more curious than afraid, and they are more than willing to trade the needed materials for help with theirs infrastructure. Mainly a water purifying station and a basic energy production facilities."

"Do they understand GalStand ?"

"That's the tricky part... That's a Vorax settlement..." -- Anon Guest

Can you imagine a surprise bigger than that? The Vorax have castes, and the most widely-known is the warrior

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Challenge #02147-E318: Disturbing My Rest? Again?

"Why am I always either the meat shield or the distraction ?"

"Because you are the only one here that's immortal. And you got your regeneration thing."

"I may be immortal, but it doesn't change the fact that those pikes friggin hurt.... And it ruin my vest." -- Anon Guest

Never let anyone tell you that immortality is a blessing. Anyone with a lick of sense knows that it is a curse. It's even worse if you're immortal and an adventurer. Never mind

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Challenge #02146-E317: The Wrong Kind of Smart

"Look, it's very simple. Knowledge equals power, right? So it makes much more sense to reward people who are well educated, as well as people who can help apply that education for the benefit of everyone else."

"They ask too many questions." -- Anon Guest

Knowledge may be power, but an education is like a disease. As soon as you've got one, there's a compelled desire to spread it around. It's one of the reasons why you find oligarchies, plutocracies, theocracies, monocracies,

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Challenge #02145-E316: Pass the Ductape and Praise the Powers

"Well yeah, it works, but could it be better?" at this point groaning wasn't stopping the human from trying -- Anon Guest

There are two kinds of Humans, though debates abound as to which kinds those two are. In this case, though, the division is between those who say, "What the flakk, it runs," and those who say, "Yes, I know it's working perfectly fine, but what if it worked better than that?" Human Andi was one among the latter.

Like most

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