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Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #02179-E350: Use Freedom Responsibly

"Do you beeep realize that they beeep wired my voicebox with a digital censor ! Under the beeep pretext that it might shock some Havenworlder. So now I can't say beeep like beeep, beeep, beeep beeep, beeep or even beeep! That's half my beeep vocabulary ! It's goddam beeep." -- Anon Guest

"You can still say 'goddam'," said Human Pel.

"Not beeep helpful, Pel," sighed Ioli, resident AI. "I've been hacked. This is a beeep violation of my freedom of beeep speech!"

Pel took a deep breath and droned, "Freedom of speech only prevents you from being arrested for what you say by a government agency, it does not protect your right to be a verbally abusive asshole."

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Challenge #02178-E349: Worn Away

"I don't like escort mission..."

"It can't be that bad !"

"We must escort a class 1 Havenworlder with no survival instinct." -- Anon Guest

[AN: See here for reference on Havenworlder scale]

Havenworlders, especially, are known for not exactly evolving, but sauntering vaguely along the evolutionary tree until cogniscence eventually kicked in through sheer boredom. The higher the Havenworlder instinct, the worse they are at certain survival skills.

This is not the rule. Unfortunately for Humans thinking they have an easy escort

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Challenge #02177-E348: The Biggest Speech Wins

Monologuing Villain encounter Drama Queen Hero. To the detriment of both minions and party members. -- Anon Guest

Alcratho was midway through Opus 67: You Don't Understand My Struggles (It's a Harsh World and We Can Remake it). His nearby minions made themselves comfortable.

Meanwhile, working on counterpoint Zanthinar was midway through his epic performance of Oh My Trials! and his cohort were busy busting out the cushions to sit on and using Create Popcorn.

To the uninitiated, it seemed like they

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Challenge #02176-E347: What Were You Thinking?

Deep inside our consciousness is the Lizard Brain, primitive, and kept us going till we got much better, but every so often it has it's say in our lives.

And probably at the 3 F's stage of existence with an attraction to distraction. -- Anon Guest

[AN: The three F's are something I used in some slightly-raunchy fanfictions for The Adventure Zone. They stand for "Fight, F*ck, or Feed"]

Brains are funny things. We like to imagine an internal hierarchy because

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Challenge #02175-E346: A Trail a Mile Wide

Elves. they come in all shapes and incarnations from Lord of the Rings to Santa's little helpers. What if they all got together for ElfCon. -- Anon Guest

Welcome to Warpvale. The impossible happens daily.

In this case, the 'impossible' is a wide and varied range of Elves, from all over the multiverse. All possible hues of skin and more than a few that aren't. All possible sizes of ear, too. From 'vaguely human but huge', through 'human with a point stuck

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Challenge #02174-E345: Unstoppable Argument vs Unflappable Opposition

Automatic skills, once acquired you can just do them. Touch typing, knitting and my personal favourite the cat owner's foot sweep and fridge door close manoeuvre. -- Knitnan

Muscle memory is an amazing thing. A skill set repetitive enough can wander into the back-brain and just... remain there. Encamped. Ensconced. Set into stone once done often or regularly enough. So much so that the being involved in such thorough learning can employ them whilst employed in another activity. This phenomenon is most

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Challenge #02173-E344: Predator Practice

The most common game in the galaxy was, Surprisingly, Hide and seek, Havenworlders even had entire Leagues and sports stars based on the game.

For Havenworlders it was thrilling but safe, and allowed them to exhibit each species natural abilities in defensive evasion, as well as honed their tactics and attention to detect Predators

They were surprised to find Humans enjoyed the same game, realising that the seeker made sense to a Predatory Species, but it Terrified them just how well a

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Challenge #02172-E343: One Notorious Encounter at Midnight

Vorax raiding parties had enough trouble with ships containing only one human, imagine the response to encountering a ship with a full crew of them... -- Amberfox

The ship was dark and silent. After numerous excursions in which the Vorax had encountered Humans, they felt that -perhaps- attacking a ship in its dormancy period might rally the spirits of the crew. Certainly, it lacked a little honour, but the Humans were next to relentless and this area of space was loaded with

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Challenge #02171-E342: The Depths to Crawl

It will be called the Battle of the Somme. It will begin on a date that will be called July 1, 1916. In this charge, on the first day twenty-thousand men will die. Twenty-five thousand more will be wounded. But most will survive, and charge again another day.

Belisarius shook his head. "How-?"

We do not know. We do not fully understand humans, even the Great Ones. But you will do it. You will do it again and again and again. And

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Challenge #02170-E341: The Little Necessities

An alien realizes his travel buddy of a different species who he thought was a bit immature is a literal teenager and immediately becomes more protective. -- OohLookShiny

Gorkz was rather fond of Human Zae. They were rough around the edges, as all Humans were, but there were enough positives to balance out negatives like, instantly drawing a straight line between any random phrase and a crude joke. They were loyal to a fault, knew which direction to take their aggression out

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Challenge #02169-E340: Local Womens' Controversy Club

"As Chairman, I'd like to call to order this 1,357th meeting of the local 'Responsible Parenting' committee." -- Anon Guest

"Daisy... It's the coffee and cake meet."

"I want it to feel more official," objected Daisy. "It's about vaccination."

Five women in the room all rolled their eyes. "I thought we weren't going to bring up controversial topics at these," objected Claire.

"What's controversial about protecting your kids?" asked Julie.

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Challenge #02168-E339: True Reform

The prisoners were prepared for torture, not a hug and kind words. -- Anon Guest

They shuffled into the institution in chains. Ugly jumpsuits standing out against the grey of the bus and the grey of the tarmac The featureless quad stretched before them as heavily-armed guards marched them in twos towards the opposing doors in the large,imposing facade before them. It, too, was grey, and had no windows.

Other guards, dressed in blue and grey, came out of those doors

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Challenge #02167-E338: A Delicate Understanding

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

"So, never talk to you?" -- Anon Guest

Princess Kelwynn looked up into the dark face of the Tiefling Warlock responsible for saving her life, and then assisting on the adventure that was their continued escape. "It's simple manners, Ebonn. Surely, there are nice things you can say about anyone. All you have to do is keep your nasty words to yourself."

"Bold of you to assume that simple

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Challenge #02166-E337: Microcosmically Conscious

A white blood cell and a macrophage cell already have an unlikely friendship. But then they get "the call" -- Adam in Darwin

"Listen, Neocyte... we don't have the time for you to mature and be ready to fight. Take a back seat. This is literally my job."

"This is an all-hands battle, Blob," argued Whyte. "I have to be on the front. My graduation is mere milliseconds away! I can do this!"

The call came from the Internal Army. "Bacteria at

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Challenge #02165-E336: To Cross the Lake of Certain Death

So long, and thanks for all the ghoti. -- Anon Guest

They were large, piscine lifeforms, big enough to swallow a Goliath whole, and the lake they inhabited was as large as an entire country. It would take too long to go around. They had to go across somehow.

"You can fly, right?" said Anthe. "Just zip us across?"

Wraithvine said, "Look for what isn't here," and summoned an illusory globe via Prestidigitation and floated it out over the surface. It fizzled

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