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Fantasy

A 14-post collection

Challenge #02065-E241: Once Upon a Crusade

"There's no such thing as an elephant."

"Then you have some very big wolves on this planet." -- Anon Guest

"Just think about it for a psalm," said Sir Thakkis. "A beast as large as a peasant's hut, walking on legs as thick as trees, with a nose like a serpent and ears like cloaks? It's too ridiculous to live. And, Frog, I have to remind you that we are on a holy quest and your heretical words have no place."

"I have to remind you that my name isn't Frog. I am Jasmine Saqqaf, and you had no right to take me prisoner."

"I rescued you from slavers. And since we currently have no church, I can't let you continue with your heathen name. We will give you a proper Christian name once we free the holy land in the name of the Holy Church of Our Saviour."

"If I'm so free, why am I in chains?"

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Challenge #01891-E067: Stop, Children

I can't be the only one who, when consuming media focusing around the notion of "mythology made modern" (taking fantasy creatures and putting them in our time and place like they've always been there), gets kinda tired of the sort of "prejudice is the conflict" thing best described as "black and white gang up on green".

You know, the situation where lazy/bad writers rename "white supremacy" as "human supremacy", heavy-handedly portray the fantasy races with negative human stereotyping (making orcs and

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Challenge #01879-E055: You Have Been Randomly Selected

In case of epic quest to save the world, it's never the Royal Guards or the veteran that we send. Because the guard must protect the Royal Family and the veteran are either too old or already dead. So it's always the rookies adventurers who will be blocked by a locked wooden door. -- Anon Guest

They had tried, once, and only once, to send the Great Hero to defeat the evil forces of darkness. What they discovered was the Unwritten Rule:

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Challenge #01673-D212: Middle Finger to Fate

An appellation for a person or group of people: They Who Defy Fate -- RecklessPrudence

On the day that the children become adults, be it their first blood or their first chest hair, they are told their fate. Most resign themselves to it. Some... fight.

Rare are the ones who are successful, and fewer still are the ones who go courting it.

Helen was told by the village seer, "You will die childless, and surrounded by Imps." She did not resign herself

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Challenge #01599-D138: Manifested Destiny

But the [Tech] is on the fritz due to what I believe would be classified as 'bombardment by an angry god', which violates your warranty, as we all know. -- RecklessPrudence

The Smudger hemmed and hawed over the broom. Ran a pendulum over the length of it and whistled backwards, the sure sign that something expensive was about to happen. "Are you sure you haven't angered any gods?" they said.

"Not to my knowledge," said Duji. She had her knitting out because

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Challenge #01505-D044: Convoluted Revenge

“Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. ” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

There had never been a more elaborate plot to advance a child in the history of anywhere. It was so elaborate that it didn't come to light until years after the fact, when they found Chatelaine Fairweather's diary.

It began, as most things do, with a snub. Chatelaine Fairweather's daughter was passed over for advancement to the Lady's Maid, or even one of them,

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Challenge #01462-D001: The Curse of Vows

Rest in Peace. Now get up. And go to war. -- RecklessPrudence

Falstaff the Paladin breathed in with great difficulty. "Would it kill you," he croaked, "to at least let me rest for a day or two before the resurrection spell?"

The appropriately-named Faith concentrated on her healing mantras for a moment. "The longer you're dead, the worse things get for you. Do you remember the Brain Damage Incident? I remember the Brain Damage Incident. And let's not talk about the intestine

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Challenge #01455-C360: Monster?

http://modmad.tumblr.com/post/154298352575/thelittlemonsterlover-x

Large scary demonic creature and the tiny child that keeps putting flower crowns on it. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I wish I knew what the writing in the comic said, but I shall do my best]

I am the thing that bumps in the night. I am fear incarnate. I am terror. I am the fate that waits for bad children. I am a monster in the dark. I am... Nightmare.

For untold centuries, I

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Challenge #01309-C214: I am Immortal, You're Not

Oh my god wonder of wonders an ancient semi-immortal race understands that time is valuable. -- RecklessPrudence

Immortals have some odd habits. One that stands out is spending hundreds of years on perfecting Apple Pie. Right down to breeding the perfect apple, the right kind of bees, and just the right kind of grain.

Currently, Duroc the Everlasting was analysing the maple sap for the correct kind of sweetness.

Heaven help the world when she finally decided to work on the ice

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Challenge #01307-C212: Re-forming Content

Someone who just 'removed' the tyrant, and has put their non-evil child in charge, after confronting them with the fact that the parent they loved was a tyrannical dictator sacrificing their people for their own vainglory: "My condolences on your coronation. You're welcome." -- RecklessPrudence

Queen Kindness the First had loved her father. Her days revolved around the hours that he came to her suites and played with her, or read to her, or listened while she talked and they strolled through

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Challenge #01202-C107: Self-fulfilling Prophet

From a human to a pre-industrial sophont (fantasy realm? With a bit of tweaking, might work for Shayde):

My people fought an apocalyptic war that only ended when the impossibly ancient still-warm remnants of a star's death were used to destroy whole cities in a more final way than simply sacking and burning them - or even salting all their fields as well - to stop things like this. Then, we spent generations trying to stop ourselves from continuing it. Turn away

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Well hello!

Just unveiled a Christmas card from the nice dude we pay to mow our lawn. Which included a $5 scratchie with the potential to win us $1K a week for five years.

I haven't scratched it yet. I'm waiting for Beloved to awaken to share the suspense.

I know my luck with scratchies. Never have won anything greater than a free ticket. I came close, once. Only once. And then I confused a 2500 for a third 25000. That's it. That's my

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Challenge #00987-B256: A Question of Choice

http://outofcontextdnd.tumblr.com/post/129256209619/yet-another-reason-to-not-have-children-you-dont

“Yet another reason to not have children: You don’t want the batspider to visit you.” -- Anon Guest

"Bat... spider," repeated Hero. "I've never heard of the like. Is it a bat with spider legs, or a spider with bat wings?"

"It's like a Drider, but with the body, wings and head of a bat, 'stead of a drow," said the villager. "It takes all but one in ten of our children an' our

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A call for volunteers

You’ve had some free samples of my writing [check the #story tag in my posts] and now I’m looking for Beta Readers because it’s just occurred to me that handing out stories for free before I try to sell them might just be a bad business plan.

So. Does anyone out there with sharp reading eyes wish to subject themselves to the alpha drafts of whatever the heck my warped mind concocts next?

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