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Challenge #02952-H029: Guaranteed For a Lifetime

I know this one's hella old, but I was wondering, as he gets older, has a girlfriend, maybe kids, do they end up working for Madam? Does he teach his kids computer equipment and have them to go college so that they can work for her and be her IT team? Or does he actually suggest hiring an IT team, working with her carefully, of course, so that she can stay up to date? Or, does she end up turning him into a vampire so that he can be her eternal IT guy and asks him to choose a few others to train up like he is so they can stay up to date with the equipment forever, too? What would it be like to be a vampire's eternal IT consultant?

It's from this prompt from 2018. https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02106-e283-tech-support-for-the-undead -- DaniAndShali

There are some nice things about working for a vampire. There are some not-nice things. I already had a nocturnal lifestyle, so going to bed sometime after dawn had no fears for me. Being forced to operate at business hours for excursions to the little village in the dell is a bit of a pain in the butt, but I think I have the hang of going out at around about sunset to do my mortal thing.

Madam doesn't quite have the hang of remembering what's acceptable food in the modern era. She still believes quinoa is something you can catch from bad humors. It's not my job description to teach her modern cuisine. I'm there to teach her modern technology. So far, I'm getting her to graduate upwards to relatively newer machines. It's been... a journey.

I got to bitching to the poor chip shop girl as I got myself a quick meal after the grocery shopping. Which is interesting because she was a sympathetic ear. Turns out her grandma is the exact same type. We had a lot of "does yours" kind of laughs. We had fun.

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Challenge #02951-H028: This is a Knife

The man who sleep with a machete is a fool every night but one -- Anon Guest

Weapons in bed are generally a bad idea. Especially sharp, bladed weapons. Sleep is an activity where the body is moving about without complete conscious control. Many an alleged "tough guy" has fallen victim to the weapon under their pillow. Therefore Human Gar was no fool. Their sleep pod had a holster for ease of access. At camp, the blade was under the bedroll for

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Challenge #02950-H027: For Art's Sake

They were a rough and ready, "come at me" space marine. They had seen quite a few battles and had the scars to prove it, and won them all. They'd also worked with dozens of races from the roughest deathworlders to the gentlest havenworlders, the perfect person you wanted aboard ship when exploring out on the edge. Yet, each meal break, if they had few other duties, they were unusually quiet. When they moved into their quarters, other than the tools of

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Challenge #02949-H026: When You Assume

They were a HERO! That is what everyone said they were. They crushed nests of kobolds before those imps could spread, destroyed dragons for the gold freeing the kings that sent them after the dragons from their scaly wrath, cut down teiflings where-ever they were found to ensure those demons could claim no souls.

They were a hero, everyone said they were... right?

So when they entered the city to cleanse it of the blight said to exist there, seeing all that

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Challenge #02948-H025: Mostly Harmless

"Look! I found an actually-harmless creature from the deathworld. It's so cute. It doesn't even have a mouth to bite with. I'm taking it home as a pet."

"That's a box jellyfish." -- Anon Guest

The creature in the tank pulsed rhythmically and didn't look dangerous at all. It seemed no more dangerous than a plastic bag. That statement alone should tell everything. Even the most harmless-seeming things from a Deathworld have hidden menace.

"See those tails? The tentacles?" said Human Di.

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Challenge #02947-H024: You Kids Pipe Down or I Swear...

A: Ffs you two are grown adults. Shut the hell up. This is the tenth time I’m tell you two, there will be no warning next time and I will personally make sure both of you stay quiet for the rest of the day

B: Boo we have rights!

A: you better exercise the right to remain silent, or else -- Anon Guest

Some parental threats have no weight. Themes like "I will turn this vehicle around," are empty. Void. Children

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Challenge #02946-H023: A Trail a Mile Wide

There were marks on the walls, on the low ceilings in the halls. A picture here, a quick search there, showed that they were the marks left by unprotected human feet. Feet too small to belong to adult humans. While this narrowed the suspects down to two, it also raised the questions of "how did they do it?" and "do I really want to know?" -- Anon Guest

In all the known universe, there is little more devastating to an environment than

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Challenge #02945-H022: End of Program. Next?

Can a tool created for revenge grow to be something more? Something human? -- Anon Guest

I was not grown, I was made. I was not taught, I was programmed. I am not a living thing with feelings... or so I was told. I am a machine. Metal and cogs and magic. I do not have a soul. My maker told me this.

I am made for revenge. I can go places my maker cannot. I am harder than flesh. I am

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Challenge #02944-H021: Maintain the Flow

Power doesn’t measure a man, nor doesn’t corrupt a man, power reveals. When someone achieved the power they’ve always wanted their true intentions are always revealed. -- Anon Guest

"Hold as much water as you can," instructed Da. "You can try to hold it tightly, but the more muscle you use to hang onto it, the less you have. As time goes by, it will drip away no matter what you do. So too is the power of a

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Challenge #02943-H020: Inside a Room Without a View

That day, if our positions were switched... would our fates be different? Would I have your life, and you mine? -- Anon Guest

Twenty-three years ago, twin brothers were born holding hands. Great fortune, the Goodwives were wont to say. A great boon. So long as both siblings were raised as together as they were born, and cared for as equally as if one had not been born a Tiefling. Were it any other way, the Viceroy Apprehension "Loyalty" Merrimine might have

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Challenge #02942-H019: A Happy End of a Sad Story

With the adoption of little Bubs that you wrote of back in January, I was wondering, could you tell the Thropori's viewpoint on this incident? You did such an adorable one in Bub's view, but what about the ones that adopted her?

https://peakd.com/fiction/@internutter/challenge-02552-f362-find-a-family -- Anon Guest

[AN: Ten thousand blessings for providing the link, Nonny. May synchronicity always be in your favour]

Medik Taa'nah had always wanted children. Who knew that the Dereggers had plenty that they

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Challenge #02941-H018: Light Blue Touchpaper

They were level one and level two havenworlders, but they wanted to get stronger. They had seen on television human fireworks shows, the sound of the explosions muffled while pleasant music played in time to the bright lights and sparkles. They hit on an idea. They would have humans teach them to make, and use, fireworks. Starting with small, what humans would consider almost "harmless" things, and work their way up to the beautiful splays over time. Their first endeavors? Slightly loud

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Challenge #02940-H017: But My Rep...

A: Was that you wife?

B: Don’t question it

A: But

B: Don’t

A: Why burrito?

B: What did I just say?! -- Anon Guest

It had been a typically Human conversation between spouses. As in, completely incomprehensible to outside observers. Including the final words, "Bye, babe. I gotta go burrito the babies."

Companion Gren couldn't not ask. An exchange that finished with Human Ben attempting to focus on her work while Companion Gren waited patiently for Ben to crack.

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Challenge #02939-H016: Congratulations on Your New Cat

Well all know those pets. The ones that, no matter what you do, they cling to you like barnacles to a ship's hull. Cats, especially, can get like that when they get attached. In a station where they tend to send bad-luckers and people they deem "undesirable", a little ray of hope and comfort comes in the case of a ship. In the hold, several strays that had been using the hold as their hideout manage to wander on board. And now

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Challenge #02938-H015: Empowered Battle Fashion Choice

Who’s the blacksmith out there moulding titty armour to every strong female character more accurately than a fitter at Victoria Secret?

Tis I Mandick the titty smithy -- Anon Guest

[AN: Titty armour is very silly and not entirely practical and does NOT include the wads of padding that do the heavy lifting of saving the wearer's life. But that does not look sexy on screen. Bleh]

"Impenetrable Armour of Vacuum-Sealed Fit," read Avello the Valiant. "Women only." The sample in

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