A 5-post collection

Friday, Day 0, Fish Day

TEN firkin new cases, but only one of those is local so whack-a-doo, let's go to the coast YAAAAAAAYYYY... Eighty-two active cases, sixty-seven in hospital, one in the ICU; which leaves FOURTEEN of them to go out and create havoc if they come over with a massive case of the Knomira's.

Yeah nah I'm not going firkin anywhere these holidays and I shall be watching all of this inevitable mayhem unfold from my mountain fastness. Thank you for asking. Door price is half a billion unless you're a relative or close friend1.

Today is the day when most people who follow the more modern take on YHWH eat fish and hot cross buns and plan to look for hidden eggs with the littlies. Spring festivals are always a little bit weird in the Southern Hemisphere, where Autumn is gearing up to kick everyone's behind.

Imagine for five seconds if everyone south of the equator suddenly switched the festivals to match the seasons. That would mess EVERYONE up.

But enough of that nonsense. It's time for some global nonsense:

  • More news about the most recent shooting massacre in the USA
  • Celebrity kicked off Twitter for humiliating a powerful man
  • 43 kids have been killed in the continuing Myanmar clusterfluff
  • Murderer gets back in contact with his mistress after killing his family to be with her. Girl. RUN AWAY!
  • 13 kids orphaned after parents perish of the plague
  • Muppet's daughter-in-law attempts to curry the orange canker's favour by trying to go against Facebook and its policies
  • Easter weather is going to SUCK
  • Australia allegedly defenceless against China. Say that to our shy and retiring wildlife
  • The truth is finally revealed! The Plague came from bats. It was bats the whole time
  • Hawaiian Pizza Shapes bikkie is NOT an April Fool's prank

If you follow me on Tumblr, I will be reblogging some of my favourite japes until they wind down. Spirit of the season and all.

And now - fiction.

  1. Note for the gullible or the slow of mind - this is of course a fabrication. If you actually give me half a billion and expect a mountain fastness, then more fool you.

Challenge #02495-F305: Goofy Scary Skeletons

"Be careful of humans this time of cycle; because this is when they perform a ritual they call 'Halloween.' They place images of human skeletal structures, women with green skin, humans biting into other humans' necks, and other frightening images." -- Anon Guest

Some Humans celebrate mortality. Others celebrate horror and the unknown. In both circumstances, part of the celebration involves dressing up and a certain volume of depictions of Human skeletons. The cultural significance of these have been through more

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Almost Holidays

There's today and tomorrow until two weeks' worth of slacking off, so of course both my little darlings are trying various tactics to get that time off early.

Mayhem is trying the "oh I'm sick, I'm dying, I need to stay home five-ever" routine. Quickly kiboshed with the household thermometer. Chaos was a little bit more clever and insisted I missed a day. Going to the extreme of pointing out a missing day in the communications book. This missing day was (a)

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I'm going on holiday for a bit

No worries, I have queued up some instant stories to cover my arse absence.

What I can’t do is tweet about them to spread the word while I’m gone.

So. For the next five stories, I would very much appreciate it if  you would tweet my stories to all your followers. If you add the hashtags, #free or #freefiction (along with a pithy explanation), they may even garner the attention of Free Fiction Daily which, I am certain,

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Kids are coming home, soon.

My week off is nearly over. Soon, it shall be back to the slog of chasing after two kids and a dog and bitching about various life trials.

Good news: It means I’ll have blogging material again [seriously, you’re all two posts away from ponies as I write].

Bad news: I’ll have two shoulder surfers and a hound to worry about.

But I also have Plans. One is a trip to the cinemas for good behaviour

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