Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02759-G202: Empirically Tested

I would love to see Mythbusters in Space! You know, where some humans have seen the original old videos of it and decides to do a new mythbuster series based for their era? It'd be cool! -- DaniAndShali

[AN: In light of recent losses, I have debated having a Human Grant in this one and... honestly... I didn't want to risk disrespect to his memory]

"We all know how Human drama has historically portrayed asteroid fields," said Human Steve at a planning table. Ze, and hir co-host, were helpfully labelled for newcomers.

"Lies," said Human Bob, and gestured to a screen displaying a ship dodging space rocks left, right, and centre. An ancient audio clip played a sound-bite that said, "It's only a model," as if the watching audience couldn't tell.

"Visually appealing lies because we went into several asteroid fields and this was what we saw," Steve gestured to a display that held lots of black, some stars, and a few visual augmentations pointing out actual asteroids and the distances they were from the viewer.

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Challenge #02758-G201: Organic Pest Control

A shipment of fruits and plants that had gone through a DeRegger station was opened in a very large Alliance station. The plants were bound for a new section that had been added to the botanical garden there. Unfortunately, an unwanted guest came along with it. Within a month or so, that dreaded high-pitched sound that all humans from Earth knew all too well was starting to be heard. An invasive pest that bred rapidly anywhere there were pools for it to

Challenge #02757-G200: Say it With... ????

A xenobiologist decided to study the mating behaviors of many other races from the the weakest havenworlders to the strongest deathworlders. However, when it came to ... ah... HUMAN mating behaviors, well, things just got weird! -- DaniAndShali

It was the study of centuries, greatly aided by just hanging out in various public zones of crossroads stations and people-watching. Of course, the more invasive aspects of the study were a matter for each species individual fictions and documentaries. This study was about the

Challenge #02756-G199: Oh Marvelous Me

I'm sorry to add to your already heavy workload that is your Prompts. But I would really like to see Unununium Jones on her stellar yacht get her just deserts. (From Prompt #02605-G048: Atomic Element Number Six) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link thanks to DaniAndShali <3 Bless you for being helpful]

Life, the saying goes, is like a shit sandwich. The more bread you have, the less shit you have to eat. That saying was certainly true of Uni Jones. She

Challenge #02755-G198: Five Under Five

There were four of them. They were definitely human, and the biggest was still less than 1.5 sidu tall. Probably. The biggest one was also at the bottom of what could only be described as a pile of babies. The second biggest and the smallest were using the biggest as pillows. Those three were asleep. The second smallest was reclining on the second biggest, and giggling at a repetitive song accompanying dancing cartoon fruits and vegetables playing on a tablet.

This

Challenge #02753-G196: To Win By Technicality

In arguments it’s okay to swear. Usually many times your words must be quick witted and sharp like a rapier, other times, you just need bash your enemies skulls in with the metaphorical folding chair to get you point across. -- Anon Guest

Arguments are peculiar things. Some people believe that the winner is the one who remains calm and logical and debates all relevant points with scientific sources, and the loser is the first one to drop a sample of

Challenge #02752-G195: For the Thrills

The human is sitting with aliens who study the weather and they show some old videos, first giving offensensitivity warnings, of human storm chasers. They explain the jobs of the storm chasers, the dangers, and what was learned from those brave men and women who sometimes lost their lives in the pursuit of scientific discovery. They also explained of storm-tourists. Those insane adrenaline junkies who would go with storm chasers to catch a glimpse of storms like tornadoes, to be able to

Challenge #02751-G194: You and Your Hobbies

The human got a job at a rather busy space station as an IT person and as a structural engineer. They did a lot of work with computers and with keeping up maintenance on this place. But when they signed the contract, they had an unusual clause, one that, it was discovered, they always asked for no matter what place they worked. Their quarters must be at least twice to three times the size of normal crew quarters. This was not too

Challenge #02750-G193: What Evil Sows...

Human's blood is a well-known weapon. Full of leucocytes ready to protect human body from disease and foreign invaders. While used on other forms of life it can act like acid; burning and destroying skin. Blood isn't a cheap thing, because selling it is forbidden everywhere. But black market found a way to produce enough blood to gain on it — blood farms. Cages where humans are drugged so they won't fight back. Everything begins to fall apart when one of farm workers

Challenge #02749-G192: Disentangling Groupthink

Gamer‘s mob mentality https://youtu.be/1DALU-AHb-U -- Anon Guest

[AN: offensensitivity warning for toxic masculinity content, simulated violence within the linked video]

No matter what the team sport, Humans will become so invested in their team that hostility becomes part of the identification procedure. -- Excerpt from The Galactic's Guide to Human.

The real trick, the Alliance decided, was to discourage the truly horrible behaviour when it started. Allowing it to persist only resulted in worse examples of more of

One Week at Last!

Now the serious counting begins. So far, the record is at ten days before some other infected idiot invades my fair state and brings a sample of plague with them. We shall see.

Down south, they are finally making mask-wearing mandatory in a too-little-too-late move that should have been initialised when the first suburbs broke out in the damn thing. Of course, there's the same outrage from people despite idiots doing things like leaving quarantine so they can have a fucking smoke

Challenge #02748-G191: Howdy Neighbour

If you truly think that your world is needed to be saved; you’re a bigger fool than I thought... -- Anon Guest

It had been quite the journey to the distant station. More effort in one lifetime than Rilissith's people had been through in recent history. They had been ambling vaguely towards space travel for previous centuries, but that was before they discovered that something was going chronically wrong with their solar system.

They could, with their current technology, launch one

Challenge #02747-G190: Just Get the Bleeper App

A: cak-likna!

B: did you just swear?

A: I don’t know I say something random when I’m in pain

B: try not to say that again

A: wait it was a swear word?! -- Anon Guest

Offensensitivity is a peculiar thing. What offends one group might be perfectly normal. It is wise for travellers to check to see what's taboo in areas they are planning to visit for extended lengths of time. It's always wise to find out what's rude

Challenge #02746-G189: Fearsome Destructive Capabilities

Carbon fibre plates, reinforced with a titanium alloy. Hi spec thermal regulator, and military grade ballistic glass. Now I just need the human to stress test this livesuit. -- Anon Guest

"What kind of Human?" said Glorz.

"I'm not sure I understand the question."

"Well, there are the Humans you pay to try and destroy it, there's the Humans you pay to life-test it, and the Humans you pay to try and keep it in top condition. Then there's the fourth if

Challenge #02745-G188: Use Only as Directed

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aimo_Koivunen

Sometimes, Humans do stupid Things. Most of the time, they work out well. However, only seldomly someone takes 30 Tabs of Pervitin (Meth) has an "Adventure" like this and lives to tell the Tale. -- Mike666

[AN: Link contains references to drug use and some side effects that should have honestly killed the dude. Also the GIF version of this story going around Tumblr is hilarious]

Humans hold some very interesting records. They also

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A 2284-post collection

Challenge #02759-G202: Empirically Tested

Challenge #02758-G201: Organic Pest Control

Challenge #02757-G200: Say it With... ????

Challenge #02756-G199: Oh Marvelous Me

Challenge #02755-G198: Five Under Five

Challenge #02753-G196: To Win By Technicality

Challenge #02752-G195: For the Thrills

Challenge #02751-G194: You and Your Hobbies

Challenge #02750-G193: What Evil Sows...

Challenge #02749-G192: Disentangling Groupthink

One Week at Last!

Challenge #02748-G191: Howdy Neighbour

Challenge #02747-G190: Just Get the Bleeper App

Challenge #02746-G189: Fearsome Destructive Capabilities

Challenge #02745-G188: Use Only as Directed