Amalgam Universe

Challenge #03140-H231: Loco Parentis

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana who?"

"Knock knock"

"Who's there?"

"Banana."

"Banana Who?"

"Knock Knock"

exasperated! "WHO'S THERE??"

"Orange"

sigh! "Orange who?'

"Orange you glad I didn't say Banana?"

GROAN!!!!! -- Anon Guest

Some stages of childhood development seem to be a test of the parental's endurance. Some of those kids really make strangers wonder how they survive to adulthood. Just one of those stages is the discovery of jokes.

"Hey... hey... hey... hey...? Why do beans like to live in Queensland, Australia?"

Temporary Guardian Thorx anticipated more of the continuing verbal trouble that had been going on for a subjective eternity[1]. "This isn't another banana one is it?"

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Challenge #03139-H230: Pour Encourager l'Artistes

It took them a long time to get to the planet the Archivaas called home. But there was a reason they went there. Many, many generations of their family had been avid photographers, or as they jokingly called themselves, a whole family of "shutter-bugs". Photos and drawings from earth before the time of the shattering, before the first humans even went to the moon, albeit, very rough photos, all the way through the generations to digital media, saved in a large crate

Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

Despite being Deathworlders themselves, they hired a human who was an expert at debugging computer systems, at engineering, and at improvising fast solutions when things went south. They looked like large, bipedal, cats, including claws that could pull in or be exposed when needed. They made sure they hired a human who was not allergic to fur, or felines. However, when the human started growing catnip, using it to sooth himself when they had trouble sleeping at night, the beings realized it

Challenge #03134-H225: Caution - Humans Running

It doesn’t matter what species you are. If the ship’s engineer start running you better follow -- Anon Guest

Only Humans ever invented running as a recreational activity. Which is why places with a jogging track also have large volumes of warning labels. Before Humans joined the Alliance, even possessing something that could pass as a jogging track was never a priority. When one cogniscent was running, it was generally a good idea to run with them. They obviously knew

Challenge #03133-H224: Learn From Mistakes

The four humans, on leave from the ships they work aboard, are sitting around a table with four boxes that simply read Dangerous Nuts High Scoville. Once known to humans as "The Death Nut Challenge". Grinning, and razzing each other, they're about to each see how much spiciness they can handle when a level 3 Deathworlder, full of arrogance, pulls up a chair and demands to join them. After all, these squishy, weak-looking, apes are eating what is just five little nuts,

Challenge #03131-H222: Artisinal Friend

They sat alone, quietly eating their meal. Their shoulders were slumped, their head was down, they had the forlorn look of a lonely, bereft, individual who'd completely given up on life itself. When a kind cogniscent tried to sit with them, they softly mumbled something apologetic and, quietly, obviously reluctantly, moved away to an even more distant, emptier, corner. The person went back to their friends, their eyes sad, filled with compassion.

"What did they say?"

"They said bad-luckers who cause their

Challenge #03130-H221: But We Love Them...

The crew ends up getting stuck on a Level 2 Deathworld and the Humans tame a few of the large omnivores and train them to be ridden. At least until rescue arrives.

"No you CAN'T bring it with, Humans!" -- Anon Guest

Over half of the plantlife was generically toxic. The other half had to be processed in order to be edible more than once[1]. The wildlife was neither shy nor retiring. So, of course, the Ships' Humans flakking loved it,

Challenge #03129-H220: Not the Intended Use

They'd been using the juices from a bright yellow fruit brought from the Terrans so long ago. They used it to eat away grease from engines and as an industrial-strength solvent, and to remove adhesives from various surfaces. Mixed another way, as a cleaning material that left a fairly pleasant scent. So imagine their surprise when humans were found to be plucking the fruit from the trees, mixing the juice with water and a little sugar, and drinking it! -- Anon Guest

Challenge #03128-H219: It's Not Just a Cold

A Deregger escapee has an unusual quirk that makes them, of all things, immune to the immunoflu. Unfortunately, that means they're apt to contract the illnesses the immunoflu is meant to prevent, and catches a cold. -- Anon Guest

They told Pel he was lucky to survive. Once they discovered his truly peculiar genetic abnormality, those tellings doubled. The immunoflu was one of Humanity's Greatest Hits[1], since humanity could not contain or cure the common cold, they tamed it. Using the

Challenge #03127-H218: Close Encounters of the Telegenic Kind

People of the Alliance go to the deadliest country on the planet Earth, Australia, and meet the happiest animal on the continent. The quokka.

https://bestlifeonline.com/quokka/ -- Lessons

This was odd for a Havenworlder tour of a Deathworld. They expected to visit the safer areas of Earth and thereby toughen up their genes via epigenetics. They were understandably alarmed to learn that they were visiting Australia. The one part of Earth that was almost at level five[1]. After the

Challenge #03125-H216: Save Your Gluthorpian Dollars...

So y’all are fine with killing other Xenos, but then some Humans do the same thing to other Humans and it’s suddenly immoral? At least we’re consistent with our genocidal policies. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I do not condone genocide of any kind btw]

The war was over, for certain. Not because any side had won, but because there was little fight with, or even over. Most of the contested territory was radioactive, no longer fertile, and, in fact,

Challenge #03123-H214: De-Escalation in Progress

On a planet where children just trying to survive are being mowed down, where soldiers were flown in to murder them, and their families lived hiding in tunnels to survive, those that knew of this could no longer sit idly by. Several large ships came, other humans, heavily armed. They were not going to try to take over the planet or overthrow the government, they were there to remove the bombs and rescue the kids, and the families, out in the wastes.

Challenge #03122-H213: Congratulations, it's a Bot!

reboot initiated;

}

function boostpower = on();

parts check = var.ok();

vision wide = var.ok();

memory load = var.fail();

operating time = 48;

connecting..

}

{hello world/} -- Anon Guest

Runcheck RealLife().... ok. Runcheck JustFantasy()..... nul result ok. Soundcheck Output/Input.... ok.

"I hate it when they scream." Entity One had their back turned, tapping keys and generally being uninvolved.

Entity Two was kinder. Friendlier. Identify facial expression... smile. "Every new life cries. Get used to it. Hello H0D."

"Are You My MoTher?" said H0D.

Support

Challenge #03121-H212: Call For the Doctor

They sat with popcorn and their best friends from the station and began with the earliest seasons. They had done this for quite some time, twice a month, since they moved here. Twice a month, on a weekend, they made popcorn, and invited friends for a couple of hours of watching Dr. Who, discussing the episodes, and enjoying themselves. And, of course, enjoying being fans of the show. -- HelloImTheDoctor

[AN: You know I can't sell my anthologies for potential money if

Challenge #03120-H211: Captivating Artwork

Alert!

Warning!

"...HELP!"

People come running as that word bellows down the corridor. A pirate, one of the stragglers that hadn't been able to flee as fast as the others did when they learned the prowess of the humans guarding the ship, was stuck. Young Pib had gotten molasses all over the wall, almost finger-painting with it, and now the pirate's feathers were heavily stuck like a fly to flypaper. -- Anon Guest

It looked like a humorous cartoon come to life.

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A 2280-post collection

Challenge #03140-H231: Loco Parentis

Challenge #03139-H230: Pour Encourager l'Artistes

Challenge #03137-H228: Medicinal Herb Misuse

Challenge #03134-H225: Caution - Humans Running

Challenge #03133-H224: Learn From Mistakes

Challenge #03131-H222: Artisinal Friend

Challenge #03130-H221: But We Love Them...

Challenge #03129-H220: Not the Intended Use

Challenge #03128-H219: It's Not Just a Cold

Challenge #03127-H218: Close Encounters of the Telegenic Kind

Challenge #03125-H216: Save Your Gluthorpian Dollars...

Challenge #03123-H214: De-Escalation in Progress

Challenge #03122-H213: Congratulations, it's a Bot!

Challenge #03121-H212: Call For the Doctor

Challenge #03120-H211: Captivating Artwork