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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Yoiks and Awaaaaaay...

Once again, I got rejected. Once again, I do this nonse:

[Shown: Daffy Duck repeatedly swinging into a tree]

I figured this was going to take some time. When I run out of likely candidates in one agency, I will try another. Until I run down to the bottom of my 30-person list.

Only then will I put up Kung Fu Zombies on Amazon and Smashwords.

But in the meantime, there's a new short story for free. It's currently only available in ePub, but that hurdle will be removed as soon as I can figure out how. Promise. [But that doesn't seem to matter to the twenty-six people who glommed onto it in a cold second. Yikes, you guys are fast]

Figuring out streamlined ways of doing things is going to be a pain in the arse.

And speaking of pains in the arse... The continuing struggle of combatting Beloved's inertia is a mountain I have yet to conquer. So far, in the time it takes Beloved to get out of bed, go to the toilet, and take all their obs [weight, temp, blood pressure, and blood sugar]... I have got up, toileted, weighed myself, got the little darlings out of bed, started a laundry wash, done Chaos' hair, taken my pills, and made a start on dinner. We're having slow-cooked lamb legs.

Inertia is my enemy. If I don't constantly push my entire family into getting organised, then they'll all gravitate to a state of equilibrium that means looking at a screen and not doing anything that they're meant to.

I'm sure everyone would have fun, but there are consequences to that shit.

When I'm done on this blog entry, I have a load of washing to put on the line. When I'm done with today's Instant, I have another load of laundry for the line, a parcel to fetch, and bread to buy. And since I'm out and about anyway, I'll be scouting for things to use in Chaos' Halloween costume. Huzzah. And when I come back, there will be intermittent cleaning between work on my current novel and selling the other one.

Wheeeeeee... splat!

Frankly, I'm amazed that I'm not losing weight faster, the amount of running around that I do.

Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

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I'm 44

...and everything's gone to shit. I got rejected by yet another agent, the birthday card from MeMum hasn't arrived yet (three raspberries for the Aussie postal service), and the careful timing of this morning did not account for Beloved dragging their feet until such time that I have to do my blogging on the road. Huzzah.

Thank providence for laptops, mobile hotspots, and USB car charger ports. Otherwise, I would be supremely miffed at my Beloved.

All going well, I will achieve

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Challenge #01368-C273: Insane Genius

While I love Humans as Space Orcs, can we get some exploration of this theory, that humanity's 'hat' in the galaxy full of Planet of Hats that is Star Trek is that we're Doc Brown? Please note the reason Scotty's Chief Engineer of the Enterprise, as well as the Vulcan Science Academy's interactions. (Also this might explain why the multispecies Federation ships in TOS-era seem to be crewed in an almost entirely monospecies manner, what with that all-Vulcan ship in one episode,

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Swag Day!

Celebrations are done and I have yet to scoop up the wrapping paper. But this year was a decent haul.

Beloved gift-wrapped the meds I sent them to get and the pegs I asked for. Sneaky sod. But I also got some sweet tech out of the deal.

  • A shower speaker that I can blue-tooth link to my phone and blast Steam Powered Giraffe whilst I lather up.
  • A bluetooth radio deelie that I can also link with my phone and have
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Challenge #01367-C272: Health and Safety

Velociraptor Incident Safety Placard. Either the scenario posited, or something else of your devising (also consider that one pedant who points out they forgot to account for leap years. Me. I'm the pedant.). -- RecklessPrudence

There were jokes that were made to be regretted. Anything with the N-word in the middle of it is a good example. But this one...

It was designed like every other safety poster in the labs. Except this one was about being a velociraptor-free workplace. And it

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...party?

My birthday is this Tuesday, so we're having a little mini-party today. Cake, family, and presents. Nothing huge, hugely expensive, or extravagant.

I still count that trip to Tucson in March as a late-Christmas/early-birthday present combo. That was a budgetary blowout of epic proportions. Therefore anything extra today is a blessing.

Beloved has promised me something I will enjoy but they will probably regret. I have to confess to being interested in seeing what the heck it is. And then try

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

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Merry October

It's the first of October and I've yet to isolate anything for Chaos' costume, this year. She wants to be her gemsona, sweet child.

That means a wee bit of running around for things. Including the figuring out of how to do the gem on the cheap. Green leggings and arm things. The more skin I cover with fabric, the less I have to cover with makeup. Even when I know where to get some good stuff on the cheap? It's just

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Challenge #01365-C270: Simple Message, Complex Bottle

They told us to tell you hello. Details here. Bring a box of tissues. -- RecklessPrudence

It was a constructed thing. Shr'dlu could see that much, even with a fine coating of space dust and a scattering of micrometeor damage. And it had come the long way to this particular patch of debris, floating in the eternal night.

The fact that it was large enough to be a survival pod had made Shr'dlu take it in for examination in the first place.

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Achievement Unlocked

The plastics cupboard has had all its non-essential and extra-cluttering items removed! Hooray. Now, if we should ever need more than three large or medium Systema sealing articles, we can toddle up to the shed and fetch them. I mean, we have HUGE amounts of plastic containers.

Now, we need no more.

Still on the agenda is the pots cupboard and the gizmos cupboard. The least-use doohickeys will head shed-wards, but the other stuff for pots and pans might be an issue

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Challenge #01364-C269: Here There Be Werewolves

Tidally-locked Lycanthropy Planet. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rough seas, of course. Rounding the Cape to the trade winds inevitably involved rough seas. It took a good captain to deal with just that. But of course, things had to be trickier. Sailing the Cape had to be done in full daylight or not at all, because the Moon shone her full face on the southern hemisphere. Which left those dangerous lands populated entirely by werewolves.

And even with all these precautions, there was

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Slow starts, low batteries, and recreated inconvenience

Yes, I've stopped using Steam Powered Giraffe lyrics. Well spotted, you.

SPG has helped me cope with a lot of things, and now 'grief' can join that number. I'll try to tone it down from now on. I can be... kind of annoying on the topic of my favourite band.

As you might expect, grief comes with a seemingly endless patch of personal recharge issues. Low batteries, in this case, are mine. Few spoons to drag myself through the day.

And since

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Challenge #01363-C268: Household? Prison?

A kitten discovers her new family expects her to sleep in the laundry at night. -- Anon Guest

Fun day! New smells. New foods. Lots of play. Lots of pets.

Then the humans, the feedme's, did something strange. The smaller ones went away first, then the big ones took her into a bare, cold room, put her down, and left. And they shut the door. And they had turned out the light.

There were crunchy-noms. And good water. And a soft thing.

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Why'd you have to go?

There is a shady patch underneath a banksia plant. There, a cat lies at peace. She used to hang out there when she was alive, trying to hypnotise the birds down so she could 'play' with them. It's the best place for her to rest, now.

Beloved and Mayhem were kind enough to squirrel away the feline accessories so I wouldn't have to. And I thank them for that mercy.

I'm still sad about it. I expect to be randomly crying about

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