Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01903-E079: Forced Adaptation

If you don’t want someone to push a button, do NOT label it *‘Do Not Push’ * and whatever you do, do NOT make it big or red. -- TheDragonsFlame

It is rare, indeed, that the introduction of a species causes a revolution in the way that the Galactic Alliance runs its standards and practices. Humans were one of the few who did that in large strides. For centuries or longer, many other species adapted to the standards, rather than forcing change on the standards themselves.

For centuries, the emergency button was big, red, and shiny, and had the current GalStand words for Do Not Push in big shiny letters. So that all crewmembers could see it and avoid it. Galactic Society quickly noticed the Wet Paint Effect and changed it to a much smaller button under a glass window with a lock.

After way too many human crew literally smashing through to the button in question, it was changed to a solid panel in emergency colours with a mechanical lock. And a saner crewmember had the key deliberately hidden on their person.

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Cyclone Season... in Autumn?

Here's how it should work: Summer heats up the air and the sea acts like a big coolant on that noise. Which generates cyclones. Which turn into Summer Floods.

Here's how it is happening: The oceans are warming up (el Niño) and the cooler air of autumn is breeding cyclones. Which cause floods. In autumn.

The last time this happened, I was just a baby.

1974 - forty-four years ago. Criminally close to half a gorram century.

That's a long-arse time between

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Challenge #01902-E078: They Who Laugh Last

"I'm hungry !" / "Hi Hungry, I'm dad !"

"A man walks into a bar and says 'Ouch'."

"Why is a raven like a writing desk ? Because there is a 'b' in both and an 'n' in neither."

Those 3 English examples show perfectly why a "universal translator" is something impossible. You CAN translate it, but it will be incomprehensible.

Not convinced ? Here's a French example with a literal translation :

Que dit une maman baleine a son enfant qui fait trop de bruit ?

Cétacé ! (C'est

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Now What?

Mayhem's home sick, all my meal plans went... "okay". As in, the food got et, so that was good.

I let Chaos fly the deep fryer, under supervision of course. And when I was certain she could handle it... my dear sweet darling child undercooked everything. Sigh.

Trotted out the tired old, "You didn't have time to do it properly, but you have time to do it again?" routine and finished the cooking in regulated bursts. Which seemed to work for Miss

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Challenge #01901-E077: Ordering the New World

The bookkeeper of a new evil organisation to their superior:

I'm sorry but no, a "giant robot of doom with lasers that go pew pew" is not feasible. Because not only it sounds silly, but we lack the funding. And no, I won't allow any medium or high destruction plan as long as you didn't find a way to increase our income. If you want to blow things up, I'll only allow dynamite. And we can't pay more than 5 minions at

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Ooof

So I woke up at one in the morning again. Aka: fuckoff AM. What followed was a rough morning and maybe a couple of disturbed naps.

So I'm anticipating one hell of a day, today.

On the plus side, my wrists are already improving, now that I'm no longer pushing myself to write more than I should. Yay there. And I'm having some pig fat tonight.

We got some nice pork belly thawing today, and we'll be figuring out how to deep

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Challenge #01900-E076: Enter the Whupass!

[Person 1]: “How did I survive that?! Do I have some kind of plot armour?”

[Person 2]: “Nah, that’s ridiculous.” (Glances towards hidden camera) -- TheDragonsFlame

Sorrin Tael, master of Ohnono-jitsu, smirked at the camera that only he could see.

Falin tried to see what he was looking at, but the invisible camera moved. "What? Who are doing that to?"

"It's part of the secrets of my mystical art," said Sorrin. "Something you must learn from the mystical monks of Mojave.

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I got this

Okay. So we're agreed that I need more fats. We also know that fat from a dead pig is something I can actually eat and digest without any kind of trouble.

You know, aside from absolute fucktons of cheese, cream, and mascarpone. Which I can't eat a lot of anyway.

So I have to keep an eye out for fatty hunks of dead pig. Despite my ethical quandary about consuming dead pig. And my Beloved is also doing the same.

But I

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Challenge #01899-E075: Foreign (First) Aid

What if Coffee was invented during beginning of Middle Ages (5th -6th century) and gave rise to a whole industry of potion makers? After all who says that it can't have much different effects based on how it is brewed? -- Anon Guest

Sometime in the mid-to-late 5th Century...

"This one is a powerful emetic. This one will purge the bowels," the potion-maker showed their apprentice differing vials that were near-identical shades of brown. "This one will strengthen the heartbeat, and this

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Rest and Reconfiguration

I still can't write 1K words a day without hurting myself in the long term. Beloved insists that it's because I don't get enough fat in my diet and they might be right.

The only animal fat that I find (a) delicious and (b) easily-digestible is none other than pork fat. Which, as you might guess, is hellishly expensive. Other than that, I get my fats from Mascarpone, butter, and a hellfuck load of cheese.

Beloved criticises my daily fare as "lean"

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Challenge #01898-E074: But We Made It Home Alive

“I hate the word ‘should’.” -- TheDragonsFlame

"And after we make it through the wormhole, we should be aces," said the Ship's Human, Lyn.

Their Captain bristled, literally. Defensive spikes raised along her carapace. "Should is a word that should not exist," she said.

"Uh... you just used it."

"Yes, the corruption spreads far," said Captain G'orp. "A future tense qualifier adverb is an uncertainty we do not need in the middle of space. We need rock-hard certainty. Not your human 'luck'.

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Catching up... slow style

You know, it's a good thing I was thirteen weeks ahead on writing Clockwork Souls [because shiny plotbunny] because it means I can pull shit like:

  • Devote my work hours to the book that should be finished already
  • Let the book I'm already working on go hang, and thus
  • Let my poor, flaring wrists fucking heal for a change.

I'm never letting this happen again, by the way. The instant a novel is finished, a raw copy goes onto my Drobo. Y'know.

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Challenge #01897-E073: Revolution by the Millilitre

They were trying to cause havoc. They found something relatively harmless that caused people to sing. The results were not what they expected. -- Anon Guest

"I got it."

"Don't give it to me."

Sasha ignored her sister. "We use this thing on the town water supply. There's gonna be chaos. And since we have the antidote..."

"We can hold policy for ransom. I like. First up, re force 'em to reinvigorate the public transit system with accomodations for the disabled."

Support

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No more unsuitable food

I am honestly trying, but temptation is a bitch.

Mayhem didn't want to come to Lone Star with us, alas. So he not only missed out on some R I D I C U L O U S serving sizes and free peanuts, but he also missed out on going to see...

Tomb Raider

What up!

It was on, we were there, and Chaos got in to see an M-Rated movie that did not have an obligatory sex scene. Not even a

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Challenge #01896-E072: The Big Challenge

Former nightclub bouncer, former riot control expert - Why do I want to teach? Wanted a Real challenge. -- Knitnan

Stopping violence with more violence is easy. It involves very little thought, and a mindset that makes the punishment more brutal than the crime. Stopping violence before it starts is more of a challenge. Especially when you want to avoid looking like a hypocrite.

The kids called him Mr Tough. He could physically lift any kid at Elementary but only if they

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