I had an unusual case of the Faerie Curse, yesterday. Here's how it went down:
- Usual barking my little darlings into order with few hitches.
- Go to ATM for moolah
- Card reads as expired
- Check card. Due to expire in 2020
- Re-run ATM looking for a balance
- Still expired
- Watch another citizen use the ATM without a hitch
- Ask incoming bank employee if they can possibly help. They can't.
- Curse
- Go to a different brand ATM that still serves to see if it's just my Fickle Fingers at work
- Card still expired
- Transfer the cash I need to a different bank account and hope to use that to get my cash
- Transfer takes 3-5 business days and the balance isn't enough
- Curse some more
- I have $80 on my person and we need food and I need fuel
- Get petrol. So long, $50, it was nice to know you
- Go home essentially penniless, get my Instant done, get the cleaning done
- Return to the bank to get this shit sorted
- According to them, my card has expired on time
- Good news, I have a spare card with a direct link to the account that matters
- Bad news, I don't have any money in there any more
- So with the $30 to my name, I go to Aldi's and get just enough victuals to sustain us for the evening
- Five seconds after I get home for the rest of the day, there's money in the original account from Beloved
- I get my novel's allotment of words done JUST in time for the second brat run
- Just enough time to space out before I need to get dinner done
- I invent a dish I call "Fuckit"
- Bedtime for 'Nutter
And to add insult to injury, I woke up at about 2:30 AM and gave up on trying to sleep at 3.
And for the sake of posterity, I give you the recipe.
Fuckit
Instruments
- 1 large electric frypan
- 1 sharp kitchen knife
- 1 Stirring instrument
- 1 food processor with a slicer ability
- 1 ladle
Ingredients
- 3-4 fillets of Basa [or about 500g of the cheapest meat you can get your mitts on]
- 1/4 wombok
- ~300g sliced mushrooms
- 4-5 zucchini
- 4 tomatoes
- 1 can coconut milk
- 4 generous handfuls of grated pizza cheese
- herbs and spices to taste
- Enough oil to cook in
Instructions
- Thaw meat in microwave because it's still frozen despite your best efforts at thawing it naturally
- If not already mince, slice it into bite-size pieces
- Insert oil into pan, add herbs and spices
- Start frying the meat whilst you prepare your veggies. Add each in turn to the pan as you go
- Add the mushrooms to the mess, as many as you like
- Remove core from, and slice your wombok
- Top and tail your zucchini and slice them too
- Realise that the dicer you spent ages getting your hands on is fucking broken and cry a little
- Quarter your tomatoes and finger them to remove the seeds
- Run them through the slicer and add to the meal
- Pour in coconut milk
- Add cheese
- Mix together until more or less homogenous
- Announce, "Fuckit, it's food" and serve
Serves four hungry nerds with some leftovers. Mangia.