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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

::William Tell at 15RPM::

I have zero plans beyond my Instant Fiction, today. And powering through as much I, Zombie as I can because if we spend too much time on it, it'll cost us money for the re-rental of the service.

Stan is only good for one thing: I, Zombie. The rest of it sucks and it isn't worth the fees and charges.

Other than that, I have no news. Health is fine, despite the heinous amounts of shop-bought carbohydrates over the last couple of days. Little asthma flare, but that's expected when I have carbs.

Inflammation will do that. Yay.

I'm endeavouring to be virtuous in the chocolatiest time of the year.

Challenge #01910-E086: All Due Caution

“Lieutenant, stop petting the wildlife.”

“With all due respect, sir, the wildlife is damn fluffy.” -- TheDragonsFlame

Look with your eyes, not with your hands. -- Human parental expression.

Humans are tactile creatures, for all that they're evolved to understand the world primarily through vision. Their young will prioritise it thusly - see a thing, touch a thing, and if possible, stick it in their mouth. Ninety percent of parenting a human is making certain they don't do this. Especially the last

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::Opening notes of William Tell::

Today is pretty much going to be absorbed, amoeba-like, by a three-hour round trip to Captain S for fish on Friday.

Which means that I get as much of my work done now as I can, and nap on the ride there. Fun.

And today's exercise is: Not well-actually-ing Capt S when she inevitably trots out some junk science she got from "all these doctors" on some scam she's bought into, this week.

It's pointless arguing with her. She's going to stay

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Challenge #01909-E085: Some Bargain

"Oook!" Life was so much better. With a tip of the hat to Sir Terry. -- Anon Guest

When you got right down to it, being transformed into one of the great apes wasn't that bad. Living expenses became super-cheap when all one needed was a hanging tyre and a blanket or three in a corner. The diet was bland, but affordable. Especially if one knew a guy who knew a guy who worked in gardening and could supply an ape with

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Sigh

Everything is slowed the heck down, and I can't use my phone as a hotspot forever. Data payments.

So now I have to put up with this horseshit and deal.

But the good news is that I'm taking a me-day. After I'm done with today's instant, I am parking myself in front of the TV, bingeing on all the stuff I've wanted to catch up on, and devoting my time to whatever the fuck I wanna do.

Because the school holidays have

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Challenge #01908-E084: Pearls and Male Chauvinist...

Reading Sir Terry Prachett's works and having it just passed of as 'light reading' at University. -- Anon Guest

She opened the book to read it and relax while she had her lunch and a coffee. Unfortunately, it was also dudebro o'clock, and a man-child had to come and comment on her material.

"You're reading that? I thought you were intelligent..."

Sue put the book by Sir Pterry down and glared at him. She had never met this man before, didn't know

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I'm thinking of cheating

I've got 1K to go on re-finishing Rael. Now, I could be a sensible little Nutter and space that last one thousand over two days.

OR...

I could write it all today and have two days "off".

You know what I'm going to do today, don't you. Yep. I'm going to spree the heck out of my novel writing so I can have a four-day weekend of nothing but the stuff I enjoy. Whee!

I might pay for it later, but... there's

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Challenge #01907-E083: Pitcher Plant

Why do children rush toward bright colours and loud noises? Because it looks like fun. -- Anon Guest

"I turned around for just a second, and she was gone. Off like a shot. I couldn't catch her. I didn't see which way she went. She just... she just went."

It was the same complaint all over Lower Tadfield Young teens and children above toddler age were going missing. Even the people running the funfair were complaining. But there was something... odd... about

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Glacial is an insult

To the tune of The Internet is for Porn from Avenue Q:

The internet is so slow
The internet is so slow
Why can't I just make it go?
It's slow.
Slow.
Slow.

Things suck at the moment. They suck so bad that I'm actively thinking about hanging out at a mall with wifi and doing a portion of my work there.

It's that awful.

But I'm being patient for now. I'm almost positive that it's the kids' internet usage that spikes

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Challenge #01906-E082: What Trickles Down

Medieval Jesters and modern clowns can do what others can't. Mock the mighty, poke fun at sacred cows, and give people a hug without facing an assault charge. it's called Clown's Privilege and should be treated as a gift. We allow the bizarre to touch us in so many ways -- Anon Guest

Three things to do. (1) Get up there, (2) Tell the unvarnished truth, and (3) Make it so funny that the Grand Dictator doesn't decide to execute you.

No

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Slowed Right Down

The internet is especially shit, this morning, and for a change, neither I nor my beloved little darlings are at all responsible. No, dear readers, it is none other than my Beloved and their laptop.

If this continues for more than a couple of days, I get to taunt them.

[cue evil chuckle]

The end of the month and Erastide are coming up. Which means that real soon now, we could have us some NATIONAL BROADBAND! Just in time for the US

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Challenge #01905-E081: Who, Me?

Excuses both lame and creative. -- Knitnan

Of all the forces of creativity, imagination, and progenitation available, nothing in the known universe is more powerful and simultaneously more inept than a small child who has been caught out, and is desperately digging to get themselves out of the hole they are already in.

"Uhm," said Kae. Elbow-deep in the cookie jar. There was no denying that her hand was in there, and there could be some debate that she was, indeed, taking

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Fun 'n' PLNs

We're going to go see A Wrinkle in Time, today. This afternoon, to be precise.

Unlike yesterday, when I was surprised by a trip to go see Pacific Rim and the results left my story unposted until the afternoon. Sorry about that. I was only planning to binge some stuff I'd left unwatched for a good while.

So today, I have a time window to get everything decent done. And of course I'm procrastinating. Yay.

But I'll get on with it now.

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Challenge #01904-E080: That'll Buff Out

We all do it, either repair something broken with improvised stuff (paperclips are highly favoured), or hit it or kick it. -- Anon Guest

Rael opened up the exterior panel. And nearly had the urge to purge his internal organs. This was a temporary patch job that was actually a flock of temporary patch jobs. A mountain of kludges. Paperclips, ductape, and random bits of fabric, string, and parts that never should have come into conjunction were all there. He recognised desperate

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Screw That for a Gag

I have had duck tape on my feet for two frelling weeks because warts, and I just took it off to discover that it's either:

a) Pure Hokum
b) Only for warts on other areas

I looked up guaranteed wart cures and the duck tape was the only one to turn up in multiple areas. And the science seemed sound. Suffocate the skin in a specific area like -say- a bandaid left on too long, and the skin blisters and sloughs off

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