InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12611 posts

Challenge #01162-C067: Ready For Inspection

T'reka (or another of her species) meets a Helmeted Guineafowl -- Gallifreya

The thing about Terrans, when one got down to it, was their fanaticism for introducing things. Some of them, inherently hazardous. Some of them, frankly insane. And some, K'iival found out, previously extinct.

As manager of the Integration Board, she had to inspect and begin the process of clearing Terran species for use or contact with her fellow Numidid in Kal'rike and it's growing satellite settlements.

Some were inherently useful, like the Pony. It's larger cousin, the Horsss, was far too immense for anything but zoos, so far. The youth had an unnerving new habit of falling in love with the animals and finding work for the immense beasts. All so they could flock on Horsss backs and heads and shriek for the joy of it.

Some were frankly ridiculous, like the Dodo.

And these... looked like something else from a museum.

K'iival was used to them being immobile dummies, in recreations. Holding spears or other primitive tools.

But these birds did not have hands.

Willow Valentine managed a nervous rictus. "They're not reconstructed," she said in what K'iival thought of as Colonial Hu'lu, a dialect of Scientific Hu'lu that had adopted and then bastardised useful Terran words. On more formal occasions, Willow would use the more formal tongue.

"What are they?" K'iival had to resort to Life Breathing. These things were...

It was like looking into the abyss and only getting an uncomprehending stare back.

"Humans call them Guinea Fowl. They're birds from Earth. There's -um- been some debate about bringing them out of the gene-stores, but... it turns out we're going to need a lot of guano... and -um- pestcontrol..." The last two words were hurried and mumbled.

Of course Numidid ate insects. It was just... bad manners to snap them out of the air. And there were some species on Toxic Island that looked exactly like food species in Kal'rike... but were varying degrees of poisonous. Further incentive to remember good manners if there ever was one.

"I understand," said K'iival. "They have been altered to stomach the -ah- pests?"

"Of course. Our gengineers know their sh-- stuff. We're just worried about the... um...."

"Obvious cultural insult?" suggested K'iival.

"Yeah, that."

They were the size of children, but did not have a child's markings. And it was difficult to tell the males from the females. "Is there a reason why they're in a full cage?"

"Oh, they fly."

Okay, that was one heck of a differentiation. "My primitive ancestors could only glide. Hands were far more useful to us."

"Yeah. If you like, we can make these guys more obvious. Say the word. We can patch in Safety Orange spots or something. This sample is sterile. For inspection."

Of course they did. The Terrans were amazingly amenable about introducing species. For example, they consciously decided to keep mice and rats from the planet, because of what they did to eggs.

"I..." need to have a quiet panic attack, "will consult with my superiors..."

(Muse food remaining: 30. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

CHOKLIT DAY!

...I might have an intense relationship with chocolate...

The sky might also be blue, and water may be wet.

Miss Chaos, the most enthusiastic person in the house about chocolate day, stayed up until around eleven and is now completely conked out. She shall doubtless spend her every waking hour nomming on eggs and bunnies.

I have to ration myself. Boo.

My attempt to bribe Mayhem with albums failed, so I just gave him the other two. Sigh. Motivating that lad is

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Challenge #01161-C066: Unemployable

:Interview transcript segment:

Interviewee: Why am I the right fit for this job? Well, I'm not sure I'm the right fit for ANY job. I was at a cheap store, and there was this cheesy 'magic wand' lying there. It was out of its wrapper, and I was feeling silly, so I picked it up and said some nonsense. NOW look at me!

:Interviewee appears to be no longer human. Has antennae, three large multifaceted eyes spread equidistant around their head, a

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Chocolate-day eve

It's going to be a real fun chocolate day because it co-incides with mum-in-law's birthday and I don't know if we got her anything. I know what she wants, I just don't know if (a) I can afford it and (b) if we can get it in time.

Squeaky bum time, folks.

I found another $2 coin, so there's a chance I could afford the thing of her dreams. Gain some brownie points and maybe trade those for her good favour when

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Challenge #01160-C065: Weird is Universal

A person is the only member of their species in a group, so a lot of their behaviour is passed off as "must be a (species) thing."

Then they meet up with the others and it turns out no, none of them do that, it's a Dave thing. -- Gallifreya

In the interests of diplomacy, crews from various species' crew have been shared out into other species' vessels. I think the Galactic Alliance is trying to engender familiarity with others as a

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Climbing back up...

My mood's improved a lot. Yay. I'm not back up to 'normal', but I can feel I'm close.

Snuggle time and bubble time should help. And since it's a public holiday, I like my chances.

The general theism behind today says I shouldn't be working? I think? But I have a work schedule and the Powers once indicated I should be writing. Hint: never ask the Powers for a clear and undeniable sign. You WILL get one.

For the record - they're

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Challenge #01159-C064: Not-so-Vital Information

Is there a species in the galactic community large enough to hold a human like a hamster? -- Gallifreya

Taken from the Wikipedia Galactica under the heading of Illogical Questions Asked About Humans...

A: Short form answer: usually not.

Long form answer:

Cogniscents in the Galactic Alliance vary in dimensions and mass. For organic cogniscents, the mass is usually between eight and five hundred Standard Weight Units. There are a few exceptions [see file: Hive Minds] but giants are solely in the

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Erastide Eve

It's the Thursday before Good Friday and we still haven't got ourselves any hot cross buns. I haven't looked at my bank account, either, because I suspect it's heinous how little we have.

On the plus side - semi-religious observances for four days means we won't be doing shit until payday.

And then - I shall negotiate at least dragging Chaos out to the cinemas to watch Zootopia. Because I want to see it.

I suspect I missed the boat on Deadpool

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Challenge #01158-C063: Saint Kurt of the Mutants

One Kurt Wagner, he of the lifelong fear of growing horns, eventually notices the gradually brightening heavenly glow around his head -- Gallifreya

He was half-asleep when the realisation came. Stumbling about in the pre-dawn gloom and not in a state of mind to question anything, Kurt took his shower and was brushing his teeth when he idly wondered what was wrong with the lights.

And then he realised that he hadn't turned them on.

He looked at his reflection in the

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Good News, Bad News, and Continuing Hassles

Good news: My favourite band in the entire world, Steam Powered Giraffe [Buy all their stuff, they're worth it] has announced an upcoming album called Quintessential. It promises to be the albumest album that ever albumed.

Bad News: it's dropping somewhere between September and December.

Good News: I know what I want for Yulemas :D

Bad News: Unless I get it for myself, I probably won't get it :P

Continuing hassles: I am The Right Honourable Broke Brokerson of Brokestoke.

Kind contributions

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Challenge #01157-C062: Saint Rillfin the Silver-scale

Ignoring all that lore about the rings of horn etc.

Imagine a sparkling, pristine halo perched gently above a pair of horns, and the owner's reaction to this new development. -- Gallifreya

[AN: I'm not certain about that lore, I guess I'll learn later]

Everyone knows about evil dragons. They eat maidens and spread blight, hoard treasure and are otherwise the bad apple that spoils the entire barrel. Most regular dragons try to eliminate them before the knight errant is required.

That

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My spleen overfloweth...

I get a lot of pent-up feelings. Possibly due to me biting my tongue and bottling things up for WAY too long, until the pressure is too much and I just vomit acidic words in random directions.

And the most recent cause is usually the biggest recipient.

I should be trying to find a way to politely express my exasperation, but when I'm feeling horrible, I just can't. I'm rude. I'm vicious. I'm... downright nasty.

And I know damn well I shouldn't

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Challenge #01156-C061: Eternal Knight

I like the idea of an undead paladin. They didn't rise because of some dark god or ritual or necromantic power but by four little words. I. Am. Not. Done. -- RecklessPrudence

The Serf-Page called Scun had watched the Mighty Torpen die. Nobody could possibly survive that many arrows and spears. And yet, Scun watched him fight on. The battle raged on and on as Orc after Orc fell to his blade. Long past the time that Torpen should have collapsed from

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Technical Difficulties...

I just this morning noticed something gone major league agley with my numbering system. I basically forgot how to do N+1.

This is going to frell up anyone who's looking for my stuff by old links, but I don't think many people do. The architecture is there in my main site, so all should be well.

Not that it really matters, right now. The aren't many people who view my page at all, so not many folks were inconvenienced.

All the

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Challenge #01155-C060: One Tiny Flaw

http://this-book-has-been-loved.tumblr.com/post/139007622507/things-ive-actually-heard-college-students-say

And another one -- Gallifreya

"Look," said the proud architect. "It's the perfect sealed environment. Everything anyone could need, including weather systems to strengthen the trees[1]. I thought of everything. Water purification and recycling, food manufacture. I even created a system that eliminates pathogens in the waste recycling system and removes all risks of infections. There's more than adequate space for everyone, lounges and personal space, shared space. Look. There's even a cinema!"

Director

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