InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12609 posts

Challenge #01437-C342: Bringing Home Strays

It is common knowledge that humans crave companionship from cats and dogs. But one day the human rescues a pest animal, insisting the creature is their new companion. -- Anon Guest

The human pack-bonding instinct is a strong one. Always be certain that your human isn't bringing unwanted creatures back to your vessel with it. - From Every Cogniscent's Guide to Human Care and Maintenance.

Something in the human's vacation clothes was moving.

"Dee?" warned Kla'kish. "Have you found a pet?" Pet, pronounced, unexpected vector of trouble, anxiety, and abject terror amongst my fellow crewmembers.

"Only a little one. I met him in that holding cell you guys left me in for a couple of days."

"We were arranging bail, Dee." Kla'kish sighed. This, she realised, was going to be one of those days when being Designated Companion was going to suck. O Powers... she'd adopted their slang... "What did you find?"

Dee dug it out of her shirt. In human terms, it was as if a Quokka had somehow made a love-child with a Ring Tailed Lemur, and then that love-child had then had relations with a Fennec Fox. The resultant mixture was slightly bigger than a New York Rat. "She's toilet trained, leash trained, and she'll eat any insect that the Oshits miss."

How to explain this? "Dee... you've adopted this planet's equivalent to a rat."

"Huh. That explains why her leg was caught in this barbaric spring trap. By the time I nursed her back to health, we were good pals. And anyway, I used to keep rats as a kid."

Of course she did. Humans... "Has..." that monstrosity "she been checked for diseases?"

"Cleared and immunised," chirped Dee. "I even had her neutered. So there's nothing the Captain could object to."

Apart from the fact that it was vermin... "Stay in Quarantine with your..." disgusting "friend. I will speak with the Captain." With any luck, it hadn't been named.

"It's o-kay, Pookie," Dee cooed at the thing. "I made sure it's gonna be aaaallll right."

Flakk it. The human was keeping the local vermin as a pet. Any day, now, Dee would start dressing it up in little outfits. And if the Captain decided that this creature would have to be euthanized, the human would be upset for months.

Kla'kish felt inexplicably heavier as she trod the long path to the Captain's office. Explaining this was going to take a long time. She was briefly tempted to argue, This is your fault, you left her untended for two days. You made it an order. But that sort of thing never earned the Captain's favour.

She had to tread carefully with this...

(Muse food remaining: 7. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Small starts

Lots of people who use Ketogenics don't often talk about Ketogenics. Possibly, this is due to the huge amounts of opposition directly related to having everything they know being suddenly wrong.

It's more than a shock to realise that everything you thought was good is actually evil. And it does take a special mind to turn everything upside down.

Attempting to convert people over to the LCHF side doesn't have to be a fight to the death. I found a Keto-recipe app

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Challenge #01436-C341: Bizarre Reactions

Dinosaurs in zero g -- OohLookShiny

Of all the things evolution in space has wrought, of all the new species discovered in long-abandoned space stations... This one definitely took the cake.

They started as small pterosaurs, and their prey were some kind of bipedal herbivore. Like all saurians, they also had feathers. There was also an ample supply of cockroaches, as well as the plants that had once been in the agri section and had since gone wild.

Everything had gone wild.

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A week's difference.

For fairness of data, I'm using three Tuesdays for comparison. This Tuesday, last Tuesday (Nov 29) and the Tuesday before that (Nov 22). And I have the help of my blog entry for the day to gauge my overall mood. With a side helping of contributing factors.

Tuesday, November 22nd:

Weight: 89 kilograms
Diet: Lo Fat Hi Carb
Mood: Pissed off and looking forward to an apocalypse.
Contributing factor: The Muppet just became the alleged leader of the free world.

Tuesday, November

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Challenge #01435-C340: Slow Progress

Don't put my ai into something and expect me to be nice to you. -- SeaDragon1012

"Got'cha body," said Gunther, aka call-me-mister-damnit. "Fac'shree sec'nd."

Grammar was still a sticking point. From what she'd seen of the news channels on this planet, a slurring grammar had become normal. Mary let it slide.

"You checked that it was working, right?"

"Yeh, it pass'd full Diag. And it's gotta r'mote thing so y'ull still do the imp'rtant stuff."

Which meant printing him food. Mary had

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The strangeness of me

I've always known I'm not 'normal', and protest much that there's no such thing. My creativity and whims of creating, aka my Muse, takes me to strange places, sometimes.

My stories, fanfic and professional, are... odd. Just as I am odd.

As a kid, I was "weird". According to the professionals at the time, I was "brilliant but disorganised" and needed something to keep my creativity in one place. Not that that worked very well.

I did not have a wide social

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Challenge #01434-C339: Pack Bonding is Strange

Someone who doesn't understand all the hoopla over puppies and kittens gets a more unconventional pet and loves it to pieces -- OohLookShiny

I'm not everyone. They say everyone feeds the Skitties on the sly. I don't. They say everyone will say 'hello' to a dog or coo over a kitten or a puppy. I don't.

I mean, sure, they're cute and all, but... I'm just not into them. I've heard all the arguments, by the way.

"Humans are pack animals..." Yeah

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Waiting for equilibrium

The diet's going fine, before you get worried. Going out and eating at the same time is a pain in the arse because there's carbs freaking everywhere. Every single take-out deal has chips and if they don't have chips, then it's noodles or rice.

Carbs, carbs, everywhere, and hardly a scrap to eat.

Beloved recorded an audio of themself trying to get deconstructed burgers for the family, this Friday gone. They had to explain 'no buns' four times. They just didn't understand.

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Challenge #01433-C338: Pressing Suit

Courting gifts given in hope of acceptance, they vary from culture to species. -- Knitnan

On the mating rituals of Galactic Species...

As a whole, the mating habits of Galactic Society are so wide and varied that one may be excused for missing the signals of another. For example, most species gift food to their desired mate, but the solitary and territorial B'la'b'lankh sing[1] for their mates.

To the Vigin, a food-gift of meat is the deadliest of insults, while to

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Converting the masses

Everyone who's figured out that modern medicine is trying to kill us for profit has had zero problems whatsoever flipping to Ketogenics, and flipping their nearest medic the bird. It's the people who believe in doctors like they believe in The Powers That Be1, who are all over the others with objections of their own.

  • "But my doctor says..."
  • "You need carbs (for brain function/to live)."
  • "That can't be good for your cholesterol..."
  • "But [CARB-LOADED THING] is healthy."
  • "But I
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Challenge #01432-C337: Very Wrong Number

Phone numbers and... unxpected... results. Your choice, the FBI story, the Red Phone story, both in one, or one of both. -- RecklessPrudence

Not many people called her on the comms. Even Rael was satisfied by sending her Pings. Text messages somewhere between chats and emails, as she understood it. Some methods of communication had homogenised since the eighties.

Phones were the biggest. She didn't have a phone as she knew it. The closest she had to a phone was a set,

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Shitstirring for humanity

Vegans struck me as a little peculiar. Okay. You don't want to eat anything related to animal exploitation? Good for you. Just... please don't try to make me change my ways and we're aces.

Alas, there's a certain section of people (coughcoughivorytowergranolasetcoughcough) that claim that honey is bee slavery.

This just gets a big fat WAT from me because they continue eating fruits and vegetables that use bee labour regardless.

Like... I've tried to do some research on this and... unless you're

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Challenge #01431-C336: Last Bus to LA

Where the scientific process and superstition collide. This analysis of plague doctor's wear.

"The scientific process made a bitchin’ proto-hazmat suit. And containment protocols!" -- RecklessPrudence

After the zombie apocalypse, there were a few things bound to go backwards. With a lessened population, electricity was bound to stop. And disease was rife.

What the members of the last bus to LA never expected was a revival of some very much older traditions.

As the horses drew them closer to the little town

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Easing up

Beloved informed me on our morning walk that we had been hitting the Ketogenic diet hard. It's why I've been having difficulties the way I have been.

So we're easing up. We're no longer fasting for 16 hours. We're going back to 12 hours and allowing some fruity sugars in as well as the carbs that come in the veggies.

Both Beloved and I have been waking up earlier and I forwarded the idea that it would be an ideal time to

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Challenge #01429-C334: Two Bad Days For Interspecies Communication

A story of language, of cuttlefish and swans, and of oblivious humans. (Well, two stories. Your choice whether they count as one prompt or two) -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Welp, we have successfully eliminated the gap count before Cashmas. Huzzah]

1)

It was quite a turn of fate for the captive cuttlefish. They had long since given up on trying to communicate with the air-breathers.

Then one of them noticed them chatting and tried to communicate with their ineffectual tentacles.

"Hey. You. I.

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