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Challenge #02916-G359: Doki Doki Kawaii Terror Owo

Dread it, run from it, anime arrive all the same. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I have no context for the video this links to, and at this point I am afraid to ask. Video shows anime-style character announcing that soon, the entire world will be Anime]

They called it the Kawaiivirus, and it was sweeping the world. On paper, it sounded adorable, but once you actually saw a human transformed by it, you never wanted that to happen to you. The aesthetic of animation does not fit well with living flesh. Huge eyes, near-nonexistent noses, and mouths that could vary from tiny ticks to wide, all-encompassing maws... it was all horrible.

Scientists were evenly divided between finding a cure and methods of preventing infection for that exact reason. Of course, those already infected were more invested in the cure. Nobody wants to look that way in real life, even with access to Hammerspace and physics-defying bosoms with unachievable figures. The downside was that any female-identifying member of the Infected who wore skirts inevitably had their privacy violated by circumstance. Pants, naturally, became the hottest fashion choice among all those at risk.

Some people liked the infection, despite the disturbing end of the symptoms. Hammerspace evened out the dating game and almost ended domestic abuse overnight. People could summon their pent-up emotions and use them to effect others, the real world, or things in their aura. News events dealing with the inevitable aftermath of overpowered anime blasts, ready access to Hammerspace, and creepy emotion-driven influence were all over the place.

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Challenge #02915-G358: A Super-effective Tactic

The ship had a room labeled "dedicated deathworlder hobby location". For some time, this was considered to be sufficient. Then, they got a second deathworlder...and after the third time both deathworlders had to report to medical due to crafting tool related injuries stemming from frustration spawned combat with regards to shared airspace causing one project to be ruined by the airborne particulate from another project, well...

Something had to be done. -- Anon Guest

Human hobbies are baffling to most cogniscents

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Challenge #02914-G357: Ia Ia Lobby F'thagn

Lobsters do not die of old age and don’t stop growing. They die when they become too big to moult properly. So we’re gonna take a lobster and help it moult over generations, and create a Leviathan god -- Anon Guest

Humans don't take theories at face value. They like to prove things in practice. They like to answer questions with, "We tried it and..." This could be either seen as a flaw or a benefit. It generally comes out

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Challenge #02912-G355: All in Good Fun

A: you’ll never catch me!

B: bold and words for some in BFG range

As the human pulls the trigger a stream of foam balls fly across the room

C: what does BFG stand for anyway?

B: Big Foam Gun, what else?

C: well I thought it was Big F** Gun, but that works too. -- Anon Guest

"Well, that's what it used to stand for, pre-Shattering or something. I think. I'm not that up on my entertainment history. Most of

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Challenge #02911-G354: You Raided the Wrong Planet

A backwater, mudball of a planet that’s home to the galaxies 3rd best interstellar circus comes under attack! -- LatinoThor45

Five hundred years has changed a lot of things. Thousands of years in deep-time colonies has changed so very, very much more. The nature of Circus has evolved. There is no animal exploitation. The trained creatures present are holograms. Artificial intelligences carefully monitored by the CRC and the AI Alliance. They were not that smart, and carefully made to be so.

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Challenge #02910-G353: Learning Process

i want to know what happened during the Vorax raid, ESPECIALLY if the Human was perhaps away, and the Vorax, being not COMPLETELY inept, had waited for that to happen to commit to said raid...

The Vorax were learning. They learned to scan potential victims from a distance. They learned to detect dangerous Humans and at least keep their distance. Human Kin did not scan as threatening. They were smaller and slighter

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Challenge #02909-G352: The Biggest Little Threat

They were banned from almost every DeRegger place known. Their ships had a standing order to shoot on sight. Yet... they came. How they managed to get through the security? Well let's just say DeRegger security is usually spotty at best due to how they choose to "fund" that security. Or maintain the people, supplies, and equipment.

Why were they so hated? So feared? They were telepaths. All of them, the entire team. They had learned to not only block out thoughts

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Challenge #02908-G351: Engagement Approval Feast

A: How do you like my fiancé cooking?

B: ... marry him

A: th-that’s the plan

B: Marry him faster -- Anon Guest

There is one hurdle when introducing a potential lifemate to Abuela. How well does the intended cook? Not just one dish, several. Not just one meal. A variety of them. There would be no useless partners collected under Abuela's watch.

"My husband, much though I loved him, was useless," she said as she told the tale. "When I fell

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Challenge #02907-G350: You're Worth Fighting For

Human A: "If you try to kill yourself, I will fight you."

Human B: "...I would not win that fight."

(Note: This is part of a conversation that I actually had with my suicidally depressed partner. And yes, if I thought he was going for it, I would totally fight him.) -- Anon Guest

This, alarmingly, was a common conversation between the two Ship's Humans of the Fanciful Deal. Human Zae had issues that manifested as periodic bouts of severe depression. Their

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Challenge #02906-G349: Warmed in the Weave

The human was both engineer and bodyguard aboard a ship of havenworlders. In their down time, they enjoyed both knitting and crocheting. They had an old blanket that they'd kept from when they were a child and, when things went bad, it comforted them after the event had passed and the enemies were defeated. A way to calm themselves. Having an idea, they began to make small, soft, blankets, one for each of their havenworlder crewmates. After all, why should they be

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Challenge #02905-G348: Fresh Out of the (Brain) Pan

A gingerbread man lives in a gingerbread house. Is the house is made of flesh, or Is he made of house? He screams for he does not know. -- Anon Guest

[AN: I do recall a comic on this theme, so it is hard to not riff on that. No, it's not the one you referenced.]

Sugar, spice, everything nice, a modicum of flour. All the things that make a treat. Hands moulded them into shapes. Imagination gave them life. Well. Some

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Challenge #02904-G347: Ancient Terran Humour

trust me -- Anon Guest

[AN: Link leads to a black page with a purple button that also reads TRUST ME. If you click it, you get a page full of the Pokemon Ditto dancing to The Conga. You will definitely get fired if you're caught viewing this in the office]

This was a vault made by Humans. The way to get through varying doors was to solve puzzles involving bits of Human culture that -according to the Humans who made it-

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Challenge #02903-G346: Don't Do It

Five Times Human Pib got Stuck and Needed to be Rescued, and One Time Human Pib did the Rescuing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Mandatory callback link Which is but one tale among many.]

Fact: The Humans aboard the Jaunty Merchant had reproduced. This was not a great impact on the functioning of the ship as a whole until their spawn, a Human named Pib, learned to move around independently. Human Pib, in short succession, learned problem-solving skills and fast became a problem

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Challenge #02902-G345: Escape By Mercy

They had nothing to give, no funds what so ever. With them was their youngest sibling, unable to move due to the injuries so severe that even the best medicine around could not fix it. Their only hope were the B'Nari. The sibling wept, feeling terrible because their beloved family was going through so much for them since the accident. But kept being assured that it was the least they could do since the injuries which caused the complete paralysis of the

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Challenge #02901-G344: Vocal Gymnastics

The human spoke in a half-whisper as they were going through the jungle trying to skirt the edges of a hostile camp. Normally, they'd be 'kick backside and take names' but they were carrying a wounded havenworlder with them and could not risk their friend. Damnit, if only the life pod's transmitters had worked! No use for it, they knew where the rescue ship would be, but the hostiles were not going to make it easy.

Their friend then noticed the voice

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