Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

An ounce of prevention...

Weighs heavily on my wrists, unfortunately. The good old Bunnings Brolly is many things. Hardy, durable, reliable, engineered to last in high wind conditions, it opens with one button, it isn't a struggle to shut...

But it isn't exactly the lightest of things to tote around.

If you ever want a bargain brolly that's going to last you, get the big golf umbrellas at Bunnings. They only cost $10 and they look they'll last a lifetime. The place makes their money back from all the free advertising whenever it rains.

I used mine as preparation against perfidious plovers, who were once more conspicuous by their absence. My best guess is that they know what an umbrella means and are keeping their distance.

I may yet rig up some kind of back scabbard so I can carry the umbrella without undue strain on my weak wrists. Or hip scabbard. Whatever. Hip scabbards make more sense in the long run. Back scabbards only look badass.

...I have cardboard toobs... I could probably work something out with spray-on waterproofing and leather straps... Or duct tape.

Eh, I'll let it percolate for a while.

Meanwhile, I have an instant story and as many words as I can cram in before it's time to hussle. Because dear Chaos is out on an adventure with me to Distant Caloundra, there to see an expert to file and sort her into the assistance-appropriate pigeon hole.

At least I have as much paperwork as I could gather, this time. I'm not just an addle-pated Mx Disorganised with my brain full of fog and my mouth full of babble.

But I am in a hurry, today. Here's hoping for a quick prompt.

Challenge #01047-B315: Economy Exorcism

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/133438233764/breelandwalker-witchbxi-spirit-haunts-a -- Gallifreya

They looked like the typical whitebread couple who scoffed at the warnings that their new home was haunted until things got beyond the line of wilful ignorance. Candace listened to their story, and it ran the entire gamut of that sad story.

They fell in love with the place. Didn't believe in the supernatural. Laughed at the thought of ghosts. Little incidents escalated. And they escalated quickly. And the next thing they knew,

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I learned some things, today

Well, technically in the last 24 hours since I last blogged. In no particular order...

  • An ounce of prevention is worth squid-all nothing if you don't have it with you
  • Plovers can defend their territory in family flocks
  • If you move while they're backing up for another run, you're out of the area much quicker
  • Asthma is a harsh master
  • We don't have enough cellophane to wrap all nine gift baskets
  • When getting bottles from a dollar shop, always buy a spare
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Challenge #01046-B314: "Surprise" Party

Nanny Ogg throws Granny Weatherwax a surprise 70th birthday party at the Lancre pub. -- Anon Guest

Birthdays are generally a special occasion. Witch's birthdays doubly so. Not many of them prefer to make their age known, lest the C-word inevitably slip from someone's mouth.

Gytha had done her best. She'd set up in a place where Esme Weatherwax never went if she could prevent it. The local pub. She'd laid on every treat she could, including the mandatory ham bun; because,

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Slow Progress

I took the precaution of packing a parasol on my morning walk. Alas, the plovers who perplexed me previously were not present to persist in piercing my pate. Ah well. Better to look a fool than be one.

So far, I have washed all the bottles [one of the larger jars did not make it through the journey home and I must then nip out and snag a replacement]. I have all my stuff lined up and I have a surprisingly large

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Challenge #01045-B313: Inexplicable In-Jokes

Did we ever figure out why you can't stop laughing whenever I say the word "pineapple"? -- Gallifreya

Giggles filled the break room. Of course they did. The inherently funny word had been uttered. They managed to stop.

"I dunno, to be honest. It's just a ridiculous fruit. The entire rest of the world calls them Ananas. They're nothing like an apple. They never came from a pine tree[1]. I mean - English language, what the ever-loving flip?"

"Maybe it sounded

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Good morning, territorial flying saurians!

As you know if you read my personal blither, I've taken up walking around the block for my daily fitness regime. In the pre-dawn twilight, it's generally peaceful and nothing much is going on.

Not this morning.

This morning, a lovely pair of nesting murder-birds [aka "plovers" aka Masked Lapwings] decided that my morning walk was personally offensive and invasion of their privacy.

Now, plovers will warn you with their signature 'back off' call of sharp, harsh shrieks [spelled "kee kee kee"

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Challenge #01044-B312: Self-Aware Adventurer

Because I am here...

...I can protect my friends.

but

Because I am here...

... my friends must fight. -- Anon Guest

There's usually two reasons why the prophecy only names the Chosen One. Neither of them are very good. Either they didn't make friends during their epic quest... or their friends fell by the wayside.

Claire refused to let her friends die for her.

She did everything she could to protect them. To help them survive the battles that the Scourge sent

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One Thing We Got

[AN: Don't have very much to talk about this morning, so... have a finished fanfic I have just laying around.]

Disclaimer: Undertale and all characters therein belong to Toby Fox, who is frankly awesome. You did so good that I had to write fic. Also the Responsibility Arc belongs to http://askbabybones.tumblr.com and I fell in love with it.

AN: This story diverges after part three of said arc.

                                One Thing We've Got

InterNutter

Sans remembered how the world changed.

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Challenge #01043-B311: One Very Bad Day

Lewis Pepper and Fluttershy (tiny ghost choir optional) -- Gallifreya

Lewis' form coalesced as his consciousness returned. Ow. That hurt. He let himself linger in invisibility while he took stock.

Okay. One of the unsolicited exorcists had banished him to another plane. That was -haha- plainly evident. Everything here was bright colours and cheerful curves. There was a small town, just beyond the forest. Also brightly coloured and almost offensively pretty.

So he was currently a floating, purple vapour. Good. People might

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Whooof...

I made it. Sweat-drenched and out of breath, but I made it. For the record, I made it partially into vertex 6 before I needed the puffer. But just barely.

And I forgot my preventer again. Rotten night, horrible sleep because Beloved was up late working on their side-job, slept in until ten past five. I'm now late for everything.

And I'm currently out of spoons to chase the kids around.

It's going to be an "interesting" morning.

I also have to

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Challenge #01042-B310: Unwelcome Help

Lewis and the Mystery Skulls having to continually shoo ghosthunters and exorcists away from their house -- Gallifreya

Of course, living and working in an internet-famous haunted house had its drawbacks. People who had only seen or paid attention to a fraction of their webcasts, or people who had only heard about their place, and then subsequently went to the time and effort to track them down.

And offer their services. To get rid of their ghost problem.

This one was a

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Achievement Unlocked!

Despite going to bed early, and the subsequent early wake-up [approximately 2AM]. Despite the subsequent early morning fanfic session and needing a napnap at a quarter to four in the morning... I managed to trundle myself around the block, starting at ten to five.

And I made it all the way back home.

Without.

Needing.

My puffer.

I think I'm ready for a double-block walk. Which used to be my upper limit before I had my toenail cut in half.

Let's see

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Challenge #01041-B309: This Old Haunted Mansion

Lewis and his small army of cute musical purple ghostlets messing with other paranormal investigators while the others film it and try not to pass out laughing. -- Gallifreya

[AN: Just in case you haven't heard about that music video: check it out. You're welcome.]

"Welcome to This Old Haunted Mansion, I'm Vivi, and this is our ghost, Lewis."

Scratchy noises carried over the audio.

"You can't hear him, but we can," said a voice behind the camera. "He just said hello

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Differences

I was exhausted, yesterday. It made an impact on today, and I haven't been awake for an entire hour yet.

I don't even know what it was, but something really drained my batteries.

Regardless, I woke a little past half an hour beyond when I usually pry open my eyes. Which meant I went through my morning routine in a little bit of a rush.

Which meant I forgot to take my preventer (derp) before I went on my walk.

Which meant

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