Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01055-B323: Eventual Amity

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/133857707605/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower

Domestic life after the baby dilemma -- Gallifreya

Gloria was crying. She'd been crying for hours.

Disastra moaned. She hadn't slept enough to focus her magic. Therefore she used her wand to prod Calamity. "It's your turn."

"N'h did it las' time..."

"No you didn't, I did it last time. GO!"

"...five mo' minutes..."

"NO! YOU HAD THE STUPID IDEA TO STEAL A STUPID BRAT!"

"You had th' same one," Calamity grumbled. She, too, had had a rough night. Neither of them had expected to gain custody of the child. There had always been a way for the heroes to keep the infant, somehow. Before today, anyway.

Disastra sank back into sleep for all of a second, it felt like, before Calamity was digging at her with an elbow. "Your. Turn."

"I jus' got t' sleep..."

"And now you can wake up. The child you stole needs you."

Disastra moaned all the way to the crying child. Gloria. Cleaned her mess and made certain she was fed and burped. What was she thinking? Demanding a child? It was tradition, she knew it, but...

She never expected to get it.

She never expected the exhausting, infuriating, thankless work of actually looking after the child. Much less sharing a home with it and the other witch who had a legal claim to her.

Gloria knew nothing of it. With luck, she was immune to the arguing that went on outside her hearing. Immune to the hostility between herself and Calamity.

Inside this room. In front of Gloria, they both played at being civil. At being friendly. Any barbs they flung at each other were in a singsong voice so as not to frighten the babe. Neither of them wanted to scar her mind with their bickering.

Gloria clung to Disastra. Actively attempting to hug her back. Her babbling turned into the word, "Mama". And Disastra's heart nearly broke. "That's right," Disastra cooed. "I'm your Mommy... For now until you're grown."

Calamity was looking in. "You're going soft," she singsonged. "Next thing you know, you'll start being kind to strangers."

"We're under a legal obligation to be kind to her," Disastra singsonged in return. "But you'd know that if you actually paid attention to things. Like the mountain of washing up in the sink."

"I'll take care of it when you take care of those soiled diapers in the laundry room."

"Cow."

"Tart."

*

It was easy to love Gloria. She was a loveable child. It was harder to get along with Disastra, but for Gloria, she had to try.

Now that the girl was walking and talking, things were a little easier. She still took up a majority of their time, but now they had sleep enough to concentrate, they had their magic.

Maybe a little necromancy on the goldfish was cheating, but admitting it was dead would make Gloria cry. And maybe a vile curse on vermin was cheating, too, but it kept the food fresher for longer, which was a boon while they were in a cottage in the middle of nowhere.

Calamity paused in setting up the table to watch Disastra teaching Gloria. Simple spells.

"Now. Look at Dolly... point the wand... and think... 'up'."

That one was going to bite them, later on. But Gloria managed to make the doll stand and walk in a clumsy way, all the way up to her eager arms.

"Now you remember. It's you making it happen. It's not Dolly. It's all you."

Gloria fell to giggles. "Mama's watching you."

Calamity quickly turned away, allegedly looking for the cutlery.

"Now who's going soft?" teased Disastra.

"Oh hush, you emotional cow."

"Soft-hearted old fool."

Gloria laughed to hear them hurling insults at each other. But they were hardly insults, any more. They no longer stung, but fell on each other's ears like gentle caresses.

No. They couldn't love each other. It wasn't right for a wicked witch to be in love. They were heard-hearted, wicked things made out of malice and spite. They loved Gloria because of a fairy's blessing. Nothing more.

Loving each other...

...might be nice.

*

Disastra came up for air after the kiss. Well. There was no turning back, now. She let the love flow out of her and reshape everything in the cottage. It was like breathing again for the first time after a subjective aeon underwater.

Calamity looked similarly oxygenated. "You're crying, you sentimental old fool."

"You too, you daft old bat."

Gloria was clapping. "Again, again, again, again!"

And somehow, Gloria always got what she wanted.

(Muse food remaining: 24. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

I have to push myself

I have a routine, now, for exercise. I can make myself do it every day. But setting time apart for the things that need to be done?

WAY more difficult.

I have to exercise. My future career as a writer kind of depends on doing something on a daily basis, whether I'm 'feeling it' or not. I have to apply the same self-enforcement to cleaning. And if I can drag my loving progeny into helping out, that would be brilliant.

Todays goal:

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Challenge #01054-B322: Joint Custody

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/133857707605/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower

Two separate magical entities turn up for the same baby. -- Gallifreya

They both appeared at the christening. Calamity in a plume of green fire and Disastra in a cloud of roiling purple smoke. Both with identical words.

"Give me the child!"

The proud parents recognised one of them and boggled at the other. Then at their spouse.

"I can explain," they both said.

He had paid for an invulnerable armour with the life of

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Coming soon...

I've been working on something of an epic Lorefic concerning the earliest days of my favourite automatons. And as soon as I'm done with another round of tech support for MeMum, I'll get right on back to finishing that monster off.

Then I shall think about a better title, chapter divisions, and correcting any extraneous minutia.

After that's done, dear readers, you get a bonus fiction, one chapter a day, until the story is done. With helpful linkages for navigation.

I'll have

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Challenge #01053-B321: Subtle(n)...

We're going to be subtle with high explosives

My favourite kind of subtle! -- RecklessPrudence

There are certain things that worry Galactic Citizens about humans. The thing that worried them most was when they got very quiet. Despite the fact that a sleeping human is a safe human, a quiet human is usually involved in working something out.

Ax'and'l had learned that only slightly more dangerous was a human who was muttering to themselves. Only more dangerous was when they stopped muttering

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Aaaah holidays

There's something about the school holidays that just makes me want to lie in until my back aches. At least I wasn't waylaid by Steamworld Heist, today. Just a solid dollop of The Lazies.

I want to take care of a drift of boxed debris as part of tidying up for Yuletide, but Beloved insists that all boxes going into the big shed must be sealed and labled. I'm thinking of making Beloved to it with my help. It's a cool enough

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Challenge #01052-B320: The Way to Win is Not to Play

"If I can't win, I don't want to play!" -- Anon Guest

Emperor Gregor "Elf-hand" of Vardia always displayed his shortened hand at the negotiations table. It put the wind up the other side. They knew the story, without a doubt. Mainly because he had someone as part of his staff whose job it was to tell it.

Anyone entering the negotiations room would stare, and then try to not stare. And fail. And they'd spend the rest of the talks being

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What has two thumbs and a copy of Steamworld Heist?

::Points both thumbs at self::

Yup. Me!

I got Beloved to help me tweak my 3DS's internet settings. Then I immediately purchased the game I've been waiting for ever since Steam Powered Giraffe and Image and Form games announced the collab they were working on.

...and then I spent a majority of my morning lying in bed and enjoying the heck out of it.

The music is fantastic (of course). The gameplay mechanic takes all the annoying things about shooter games out

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Challenge #01051-B319: One Entertaining Evening in the Local Theatre

This video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvJZVq5_cGs I've never seen something like that executed so well in real life. -- Gallifreya

[AN: for those of you who don't want to watch, the prank involves sets of twins doing a Scooby-Doo farcical door chase scene]

Seeing it done with editing was one thing. Seeing it done live was another. Watching what seemed to be the same person enter one door and immediately exit another, on stage... it boggled the mind.

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Contemplating fixes

I've been working on an SPG lorefic for... well... quite some time. Ever since I posted that free plotbunny a while ago. It's getting immense. As fanfic is wont to do.

It's so immense that when I try to export it to my inbox, it cuts off just as Iris is trying to coax Peter into eating human food. (tiny spoilers)

I'm way past that bit. Way, way, WAY past that bit. I haven't done a word count, yet, but I'm fairly

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Challenge #01050-B318: Fidelity

You can break my soul.

Shatter my mind.

Take my life away.

Beat me, hurt me, kill me.

But for the love of God

And for the sake of your own lives

Don't you

DARE

Touch her. -- Anon Guest

The human was already half-mad, even by human standards, when Kri'ko met her. She called herself Dog. Mutt on the bad days. Whenever she was awake, Dog would chatter to herself. A constant diatribe of ideas and denials.

They threw Kri'ko in

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Achievement Unlocked!

I made it all the way around the walk without needing my puffer this morning!

Alas, however I carry my brolly, it's going to hurt my wrist. Carrying it under my elbow actually hurts more because I have to wrap my arm around it for stability. I may have to make that scabbard, after all.

I'll look very silly, but at least my joints won't ache.

It's humid, this morning, and I'm feeling the heat. Air conditioning would be marvellous, but I

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Challenge #01049-B317: Ashes to Ash...

http://outfromtheinkwell.tumblr.com/post/133600270753/latessitrice-absinthenoir

The woes of an Italian vampire -- Gallifreya

[AN: Trying to write this without sounding racist]

I didn't know what I'd become when I stumbled home to Mama. I could remember an attack. I remember that the early dawn light burned my skin. I remember... being ill. Not being able to take in Mama's cooking. Being so thirsty. And always tired during the day.

Mama did what she could. She kept the sun away from

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Lovely dawn, this morning

I woke up before it happened, so I got to see most of it.

Chaos' appointment went well enough. Regular appointments on a yearly basis with reports from other experts seem to be the order of the day. Finding said experts to suit my budget [$0] is going to involve a lot of running about.

Occupational therapy, speech therapy, psychiatry... I'm willing to bet that none of those are exactly cheap. Even with health benefits and whatnot.

So many 'Igottas'... I gotta

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Challenge #01048-B316: Afoot in the Grove

Pick one or more items from this list - it just sounded so much like the sort of things you'd think up that I HAD to share... http://howlingguardian.tumblr.com/post/133493640614/
(post reproduced below in case of link failure)

Talk fantasy prosthetics to me.

An elf maiden dances on feet of living wood sung into shape, planted in soil and watered when she takes them off. Every year she plants the old ones and sings a new pair. (Incidentally, the

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