Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01040-B308: The Tenant

It doesn't count as a haunting if the ghost pays rent. -- Gallifreya

[AN: ARGH, so tempted to make this another Undertale fic...]

There's an old gold digger who shares my house with me. He died in his mine, somewhere under where my house is. And I only know that from researching the history.

He's a quiet fellow. I only see him in mirrors. Dusty, of course. Old canvas pants, held up with braces, and shirtsleeves. He comes up after dark, but can't go further than the fence line.

Poor old salt likes to sit on the back veranda and watch the stars.

I have a lot of reflective mobiles up there. Just so I don't accidentally sit in him. And after the first time you do it, you won't want to, either.

Every night, he'll watch the stars and I'll sit nearby and ask him yes or no questions. Of course, I always start with, "Do you want to talk, tonight?"

And every morning, there's a tiny amount of gold in a little bowl we agreed on. Flakes, for the most part. Some little dots that could count as nuggets in a kind light.

Of course the law was up my face about it, when they clued on. I introduced them to Clancy - not his name, I know. It's what I call him. Let them observe and record the process.

Clancy's not your average poltergeist. He keeps to himself, for the most part. And as long as you don't mind a little dirt down the hallway, it's okay. I get the feeling he never said much when he was alive, either.

I get more gold when I leave him an open beer in the kitchen. The beer goes, the gold stays. The law doesn't like it, of course, and I'm under legal obligation to only give Clancy one bottle a week.

Tight-fisted arseholes.

They're still deciding what to do. They actually made me leave for a week? And tried to encourage him, themselves, to get him to give them the gold. Turns out, Clancy just likes me. Those officials didn't get more than a few sparkles out of him, no matter how much beer they left lying around. And I had to clean it up.

They let me give him three beers, the week I came back. And Clancy showed his gratitude with some genuine nuggets.

There's talk of including Clancy as a 'permanent tenant' to the property description. People have already heard of it and are asking me about the haunting.

But you can't really call it a haunting. Poor bugger's paying rent.

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Well, I fucked up

See yesterday's late text post for the details.

My brain, as the Thomas Dolby song says, is like a sieve. I can forget things at an unknown frequency. I've always had memory trouble. From my days at school to the present. I forget things. I only recall when something else reminds me.

I once forgot to get my medication before a string of public holidays and had to go to hospital because nowhere else was open to sell me meds on the

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Challenge #01039-B307: Depth Charge Demir

Getting nearly all the way to a sneeze - right up to having already done the scrunchy face and several deep breaths - only to have it disappear -- Gallifreya

They called her "Depth Charge Demir" and with good reason. She was completely silent in her build-up to a good sneeze until...

"HROOOF!" A sound somewhere between a high-pitched explosion and a small dog trapped in a big dog's body caused everyone in Mining Station Gavin to duck and cover.

And always

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I'm getting better

For limited definitions of 'better'. The thing about chronic illness is that it permanently moves your goalposts. Compared to a fit person, or even a medically average person, my goal posts are in the Inflatable Kiddie section.

For example: My highlight today was getting about ten meters past the halfway point in my walk before I needed to use my puffer.

That's progress for me. That's "good".

My prior two walks, I took my puffer as I approached the halfway point. This

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Challenge #01038-B306: Once Was Lost

Kid raised by aliens finally meets a colony of humans -- Gallifreya

Pepa was getting used to the routine of guarding the Lupid delegation on their trading mission. For the most part, it was boring. And she'd been at it long enough not to crave excitement.

Boring meant that she was successful at her work.

She had picked up a smattering of GalStand by sympathetic osmosis. Learned that there were others like her, somewhere out there. Wormholes distant. Pepa could not leave

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Procrasti... nation

I admit. I'm a dawdler. I found a nice source... several nice sources... of sealing wax... online and ready to ship to my location. I'm debating whether or not it's a good idea because they're upwards of $6 per stick. More if they include sealing paraphernalia.

Artisinal stuff is a niche business. Sealing wax is for historian nerds, steampunks, and bridal supplies... because old timey aesthetic equals romance.

It's cheaper and easier to use domestic candles. I at least have those. And,

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Challenge #01037-B305: Slow Acceptance

Monsters making their first steps (and missteps) on the surface -- Gallifreya

[AN: Potential spoilers for the True Ending of the game ahoy.]

The Great Papyrus strode masterfully towards the humans. Just down the path, he could see an absolute host of humans having picnics in a park.

The perfect venue for a Welcome Out party! They must have known!

He burst from relative concealment and threw his hands up high. "Good news, Humans! The Underground is now able to come and

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Attempting to start new, good habits

Good morning, dear readers. Today, I'm trying to get healthy on the slow and steady path. I'm overweight and I know it. 99 kilos is more than a few too many.

The Bullshit Medical Indicator reckons I should be at 63-69 kilograms. And we all know how I feel about BMI. It's a predatory tactic used by the weight loss industry to spread eating disorders and call it "healthy".

The last time I was anywhere near weighing sixty kilos was when I

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Challenge #01036-B304: After the Game is Over

Undertale!

Human Kid and life with the Skelebros. -- Gallifreya

[AN: I am endeavouring to keep my post-play Papyton shipping entirely to myself. Also kind'a headcannoning that Frisk is a voluntary mute]

Papyrus was so trusting. He just charged in ahead where more sensible monsters would fear to tread. Toriel and Frisk caught up with him in the middle of... well... a Scene.

Picnickers at the foot of Mount Ebott were screaming. Children cowered by their parents. Someone, soon, would level a

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By crikey, it's hot

Mayhem is powering through the sports drink that I honestly thought would last him the better part of two weeks. More fool me. Chaos has imbibed every last juice box we had.

Mayhem needs the drink he has because it's one of the few things that keep his stomach settled in the heat.

And it's a sticky, humid heat this morning that promises melting delights for all the people who never wanted to melt in the first place.

I'm already getting sweaty.

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Challenge #01035-B303: One Dull Afternoon at a Public Crossroads

Fiat lux!

Which is Latin for "my small Italian car is on fire!" (I can't remember what this quote is from) -- Gallifreya

[AN: For those who are not at all familiar with Latin, it actually means "Let there be light"]

Rael couldn't loom from underneath someone like Lyr could. But he could sneak up on Shayde as she added to a graffiti wall and conspire to look annoyed.

She had written, in relatively large, friendly letters, Fiat lux! And underneath, in

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Good news, everyone!

The cat is free of the Cone of Shame! Kaloo, kalay, etc.

She still has to stay indoors for another fortnight, just to be certain that she's healed. And we have to apply eye drops.

Better news - we can use human eye drops with no harm to the cat.

Fantastic news - we managed to get all the supplies we need for less than $50. And by "less than", I mean that I got pocket change back.

The Golden Circle Factory

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Challenge #01034-B302: Pupup

A human is raised by aliens, and it turns out a lot of things humans like that weird out the rest of the galaxy are innate. For example the love of explosions, climbing and/or jumping off tall things, interacting with potentially hazardous wildlife, and chucking rocks into water. -- Gallifreya

They had found the survival pod some distance from the crash. And inside, a human. It was unmistakably a human. No other species had that almost complete lack of fur. Nor

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How to wash a cat's face and other random problems

It's 6:30AM, the temperature in my office is already a balmy 27.5 degrees [82 old school] and Mayhem is not doing so great.

There was upchuck, last night. Which Mayhem thoughtfully allowed to dry. And owing to a scheduling problem, Beloved was not available to help me swab all the scabs off of the cat's eye.

Chaos is being her usual sweet self and doing her star-quality Lump Impersonation instead of looking after herself. I've actually had to tell her

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