Realm of the InterNutter

Challenge #01033-B301: Attitude Problem

Attempts to defend against the accusation of you having a "bad attitude" will only confirm that you have a bad attitude. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Didn't notice I wasn't logged in until too late. Whoops. You get one of the newer prompts, today.]

"I'm curious," said Sara. Calmly, rationally. Speaking like an adult to an adult. "What exactly constitutes a bad attitude? I've tried other, non-violent means to avoid, reduce, and eliminate myself being bullied. Including numerous reports against the offenders."

"We have no real evidence."

"The security footage and bodycam evidence isn't sufficient?" she asked.

"Mister Essel..."

"Sara Louise Adrien," she corrected.

"You haven't had the operation, Mister Essel. You will remain Mister Essel until proof otherwise."

Sara took a deep breath and counted to ten. Exploding in the general direction of a school official would only result in suspension. "Please do me the favour of reading the name on my permanent record?" she singsonged.

"Adrien, S. L. ..." A significant pause. The penny dropped. "Oh. Oh, I can see how that happened."

"One of the many drawbacks to have a last name that doubles as a first name," she soothed, "in combination with a physique that many mistake as masculine. My campaign to get things changed in my favour has been... accused as attitude."

This reminded them. "About your attitude, Mister-- sorry, Miss Adrien. The way you act around your teachers leaves much to be desired."

"They keep calling me 'Mister Essel', sir. They keep misinforming the class when the most rudimentary of research--"

"This is exactly the problem, Miss Essel." At least he wasn't calling her 'mister'. Baby steps. "We have a certain curriculum to teach."

"The health officer in charge of Sex Ed just told a girl who had started her period to, and I quote, 'hold it'. I think something is desperately wrong with this picture, don't you?"

"Crude language will not be tolerated in this establishment, Miss Essel."

"You'd prefer scientific nomenclature? You can not ask a girl to 'hold' her menstruation, sir. There is no sphincter on a vagina!"

The school official began dialing.

Crap. "Let me guess. The actual names for lady parts are swears."

"That, and you raised your voice. Your attitude is frankly intolerable."

"This school is frankly intolerable," objected Sara. "The lack of education present in the alleged educators should be a matter of national note, not my 'attitude', sir."

"Nevertheless, you are suspended for a minimum of two weeks, to be reviewed at the end of that term."

Hello, nigh-permanent suspension. Sara already began plotting a campaign to educate the parents about this travesty of justice. "Then I shall take my suspension as a badge of honour, çur. And work on my teaching degree during my time off. It obviously can't be hard."

He could not, after all, do anything else to her now. He glared at her as the call connected. "Ah, good morning Professor Xavier. Yes. Sara has happened again..."

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...fargnax

Despite the combined best efforts of both medicine and myself - Mayhem is still throwing up. We can't nail down the cause and sending him to school is counterproductive.

They don't like him being there if he's upchucking.

Meanwhile, he and I will be working on other causes. Starting with the state of his ~~pig sty~~ room. I'm willing to bet there's at least a cubic meter of assorted rubbish and filthy plates or glasses in there. Getting rid of the nasties

Challenge #01032-B300: Cursed Blessing

"Maybe we all have little magics, the kind that you don’t realize you have. Just tiny things that make your life slightly better but are completely unnoticed on the outside."

http://akai-kaede.tumblr.com/post/132171243204 -- Anon Guest

They call it the Quirk. It's nothing big. Sometimes, people notice. Sometimes, it remains ignored by all but that special someone who loves everything about you.

And it's only recently that it's become common knowledge. My co-worker at the Bargain Barn? Freaking

Two more days!

Two more days until payday. Two more days until the cat goes back to the vet for a (hopefully) more optimistic diagnosis. I think her eyelid is healing at a glacial pace and she might not need further surgery.

And the Cone of Shame is really a pain in the butt for her, and us. And the medicine for her eye always runs our too firkin early.

I have, however, realised that I don't need to take the cat to the vet

Challenge #01031-B299: I Love in Spite of You

Someone who is a good person, who does nothing but good deeds out of spite. They hate someone, something so much that they go down in history as a saint. -- SeaDragon1012

Peleramus inherited a little less than an acre from his father, and despised him for it. A little less than an acre meant that he had to pay taxes on it, but could not live on it. His father had hated him, too, because there was nowhere 'worth' living in

Balance and writing

I do a lot of stories off the cuff. One thousand and thirty, before I get started on today's. Some, like We're Mostly Harmless, I Swear, wind up becoming the cornerstones for novels.

But I'm never lazy about it.

I could have easily copy/pasted my Instants about Amity into the novel-that-is and few would have been the wiser.

I'm not like that. I can't let myself do that. It's a form of cheating and - at least in my humble opinion

Challenge #01030-B298: Non Sequiturs of Doom

I have no idea what that means, but it cannot /possibly/ mean anything good. -- RecklessPrudence

Rael almost congratulated himself. The first Ambassadorial Meet for Shayde was going well. Like the man falling from a building in that ancient joke, it was rather a case of so far, so good.

She had made it as far as lunch on the first day without causing a fracas.

"I tole ye. I'm no' fer sale and I'm past my amuse-by date," carried over the

::white noise::

Didn't get a lot of sleep, because last night was a rare night out. Kind friends had given Beloved a movie voucher.

FYI, The Mockingjay Part 2 is firkin awesome. Well done, movie peeps, for sticking to the book.

BUT going to see it also meant that I didn't get to bed much before 11PM.

My thoughts are full of static. I want to go back to sleep for a majority of the day. BUT, I also have 1K of words to

Challenge #01029-B297: One Post-Adventure Evening in a Village Tavern

Creating a volcano is the most important part of a stealth mission, I guess. -- RecklessPrudence

All eyes slowly turned towards the Rogue at the table.

"What volcano?" said the Knight.

The Rogue grinned. "Damn, I'm good..."

The Mage sighed into their tankard. "They're calling it Mount Wat," they said. "It's where the evil dungeon used to be. Some people take the words, 'purge it with fire' entirely too literally."

The Rogue cackled. "You did say it was to save the world.

Pbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbpbh...

Pretty much how I'm feeling this morning. The sound of a sigh coming out between lax and flappy lips.

We probably have just enough to make it to the next payday. IF the kids' Friday treat comes out of the Penny Pincher Menu so I can afford the tank of petrol for the running around we're doing on the weekend.

Beloved is Forty, as of yesterday. Merry birth, Beloved. I wish I could do more for you.

Still need to get eggs

Challenge #01028-B296: Explaining History

Advantage number one of having crammed our development of spacecraft into only ten years: "Holy shit we know how to mass produce so many liquid explosives that we can get to be stable for just long enough, you have no idea." -- RecklessPrudence

It's said that anything interesting enough to propel a spacecraft for long distances in a relatively short time is also interesting enough to be a weapon. And it's usually said by humans, who tended to develop the weapons first

It's been so long since I went to Hell...

My frelling sleep issues have been acting up. Hello, anxiety. It's been a while since you fucked up my life. Come on in, we're having coffee.

...you little shit...

In brief: woke up at 2AM-ish because I went to bed at 8:30 because I was dog tired because worry.

2AM-ish meant that I would be dog tired AGAIN in the afternoon and I don't need that because I have a firkin physical for insurance's sake, so I did my best to

Challenge #01027-B295: One Terrifying Adventure in a Hidden Bunker

Person #1: Was this place built on an old well, or a burial ground or something?

Person #2: No [Person #1], weren't you paying attention? This whole mess is the result of somebody bringing Nazi Magitech back from WW2 Germany instead of burninating it like any sane person would. -- RecklessPrudence

"Ooooh," cooed Kevin. "So that's why everything is all over swastikas and lightning bolts, right?"

"Eeeh," Allie shrugged. "Sort of. My research indicates that the artefact kind'a possessed the interior decorator

101 reasons to love Steam Powered Giraffe

Before you roll your eyes at me, this is not going to be an enumerated list. You can breathe, now. It's okay.

One Hundred and One is the number of times that I have listened through the Giraffe's most recent album, The Vice Quadrant: A Space Opera. Or just Vice Quadrant for short.

That's two hundred and two hours of music that I have yet to become sick of. Not one song, not one spoken interlude, not one fragment of this double

Challenge #01026-B294: Before She Met Hwell

Person #1: They just have to deal with it. Life isn't fair.

Person #2 (softly, sadly): No, it isn't. But that doesn't mean we should be making it less so. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Wholeheartedly agreed]

Two guards watched the product file from the conditioning yards and into the truck. Ready for processing. The newbie stared with an open mouth.

"Hey, if you want one, you could snag it after the buyers have picked the best ones. Bawdy factory don't mind."

"Just... take