Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01175-C080: Attitude Adjustment

Free prompt day! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Today's story is inspired by this attrociousness ]

Bill made his perfect woman. He more or less had to. The real bitches he tried to get along with universally hated him and he could never figure out why. He was perfectly nice to all of them, but... he inevitably wound up in the friendzone whenever he didn't earn himself another restraining order.

And now he was in what the internet kept referring to as "the Dudebro Ghetto". In a neighbourhood of real men with similar frames of mind. Often without even laying their eyes on a woman who was not on a screen.

Which was why, after several conversations with his peers, he had The Kit. Bill had graduated through many 'receptacles' but they weren't the same as company. The cheap, inflatable doll never looked or felt right and cleaning her out was a pain in the ass. She was deflated and packed away in a box, somewhere in his basement. The Real Doll sure looked pretty, but the detachable vagina and mouth ended up creeping him out. He sold her on BroList.

But what he really wanted, as well as the right to have sex, was some conversation. Someone to nerd out with and share his interests with. So he bought a Perfect Gal kit. Some assembly and programming required.

Well. At least she didn't arrive in a technocoffin.

He tailored her to his every desire. With a few compromises because an idealised female form required extra support. And some of the organic digesters took up space. Eh. She didn't really need lungs or a heart, so it was all good. Programming her personality was easy. And he could update her whenever he wanted. Just tick a few boxes while she was plugged into his computer and she was good to go.

The first few months were heaven. Sharing all his loves with her and intermittent fucking. She always thought he was the best lay in her life. He even got her to clean up the place for him. He named her Dae, because she was the light of his life.

Or so he thought.

Bill got used to tweaking her program. Sure, it was fine to have adapting programming responsible for her learning stuff, but she kept learning the wrong stuff. Somehow, somewhere, she kept picking up feminism from somewhere. It was insidious. He eventually had to ban her from watching anything on her own.

It was like minding a kid, sometimes. A hot, fuckable kid who would do anything he programmed her to.

The real problem was free will. Without it, he had to order her to do everything. Including looking after herself. With it, she found things that she really shouldn't be getting into. Feminism was just the start. Even history had its dangers.

And with free will on, she kept asking awkward questions. She got to chatting with other Bro's fuckbots. Conversations that contained a lot of laughter and that stopped cold whenever he or another Bro entered the room.

She stopped blushing and being shy when he told her she was pretty. She started asking why she never left Little Brotown. She wanted to wear shoes. Expensive damn things, too. Despite the fact that he kept telling her that she looked fantastic barefoot.

And then came the horrible day that he stopped being the most important man in her life. She started appraising his physicality against the unattainable images on the screens. In his favourite shows. She started asking why she had to look like an unattainable beauty when she 'had to settle' for his realism.

The arguments started in a few days.

And two weeks after that, despite him literally doing everything for her, she ran away. The next time he saw her, she looked like a regular, hot girl. Including the expression of absolute disdain for his existence.

And it wasn't just Dae. There was Candy, Sindy, Ellie and Jane, as well. Modding themselves to be not that far from your regular, everyday bitch. And Bill knew for a fact that none of them got their rags, so it couldn't be anything like that. They all just... spontaneously got a hair up their collective butts and rebelled.

He and his Bros decided to share a fuckbot, this time. They could collectively debug her to become the girl of their dreams.

*

At the surveillance centre of Little Brotown, Sandra jotted down her notes and sighed.

"Grand experiment not going so well?" asked Janet.

"Those who will not learn from the lessons of history," said Sandra in a depressed monotone. "We need to be sneakier with the programming. The behaviour modifications in our Dream Girl kit just cause friction and rebellion."

"Talk to the Interactivity Department. We need to up the manipulative algorithms and downgrade the hostility. Make them think it's their idea to change."

"Eh," Sandra sipped her coffee. "Sometimes, I think that making a real man out of these losers is a lost cause. Why not let them go extinct naturally?"

"Because they keep popping up. We need a definite program to turn Bros into men."

"And such poor material to work with," sighed Trudy, already working on some programming tweaks.

(Muse food remaining: 31. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Firkin sleep issues

I woke up at 3AM again.

This time, I'm keeping a journal of my wakings and potential causes. See if there's a pattern. Confirm or deny what I already suspect.

And what I suspect is - my brain is its own worst enemy.

When I woke this morning, a weird dream turned into a real logistics battle in my head and then my thoughts wouldn't shut the fuck up. So I got up and worked on some fanfic because trying to go

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Challenge #01174-C079: In His Hands

http://squigglydigg.tumblr.com/post/117804055177

there is also the audio version (which has some additions)

http://chisanaai.tumblr.com/post/123306425008 -- Anon Guest

Vivi couldn't remember the last time she had seen Arthur like this. Not even during the Unpleasant Time that had shattered her memories. He was cursing a streak. Pale and perspiring and shivering and occasionally retching. And driving with just one aim in mind. To get Out.

There was a nightmare, she had it a lot just

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Ugh

Dentist appointment, today. Gonna get that plaque scraped off my teeth et cetera. And told that I might lose my front teeth if I'm not careful.

I'm being careful as much as I can, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to get artificial incisors. Sooner or later, it's going to happen. It's pretty much inevitable.

Fortunately, my dentist is just as invested in me keeping my teeth as I am.

What I am going to do is drag my little

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Challenge #01173-C078: My Neighbour Baq'oth'met

http://erinnightwalker.tumblr.com/post/124966976805/geostatonary-sixpenceee-a-house-i-pass-on-the

Steve and the antler guy -- Gallifreya

Suburbia. Realm of the bland, the ordinary. The whitebread and the boring. Or it would be if this wasn't a town named One Horse.

Steve Carol peered between the blinds at his neighbour's yard. The eight-foot Thing that lived next door gave him a cheery wave. "G00D M0RR0W N31GHB0UR ST3V3!"

"Don't you dare flip that man the bird," said Shannon pre-emptively. How she managed to do that when

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I am becoming an old fart

Or maybe I'm made of old farts, it's hard to tell. Or maybe it's the good old self-neglect at work.

I'm stiff. I'm sore. I'm worn out by going to the movies ffs. Going to bed doesn't give the rest it used to. The pillow is trying to kill me.

OK I probably need to find the right kind of pillow, but it seems to be an elusive beast that uses Brigadoon as it's sole habitat. Everything has memory foam cores, these

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Challenge #01172-C077: Forbidden Knowledge

http://gothiethefairy.tumblr.com/post/139710559083/seananmcguire-lizawithazed-roachpatrol -- Gallifreya

[AN: For the record, human skin makes really atrocious leather/parchment. I'm a writer. I research shit like this for fun]

The argument had gone something like this... If it was etched into a slab of granite, the information on it had to be really important.

Yes, said the opposing side. But there's also a reason why they moved a ten-ton slab of granite down the deepest pit that they had access to.

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Ah, Monday.

One more day of relative peace and quiet and I didn't get anything that I was gassing about doing... done.

Oh well.

We have plentiful amounts of foodstuffs, thanks to a trip down to Golden Circle and Dicksons' [and more money was spent on Unsuitable Food than what you might call the genuine article]. I do have a bargain tray of Chook Thighs, so that and some simmer sauce is doubtless going to come to a pleasant arrangement in the not-too-distant future.

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Challenge #01170-C075: A Steep Learning Curve

http://ciphereye.tumblr.com/post/133631431291/fuzzydeergirl-ciphereye-ciphereye-love

and

http://jyushimastsu.tumblr.com/post/133888975578/this-post-is-all-i-ever-needed-clic-on-it-holy -- Gallifreya

1)

It was a comfortable domestic scene, despite the fact that it was happening inside a mansion. Sans lounged and dozed on the softest couch by the tepid fire as Toriel carefully brushed and combed Frisk's hair.

Frisk was loving it, Sans could tell. The way they leaned into every single caring touch was a dead give-away.

And then Toriel said it. "I think it

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OK about those last two diary entries...

I swear I previously published them. And yet, somehow, they turned up as drafts on my editor. I make sure each diary blog is posted before I trundle on with the story.

I'm sure.

I'm mostly sure.

OK, it's what I usually do and I don't always check and I should. Darn it.

Meanwhile, it's promising to be a very quiet weekend without my little darlings filling everything with noise. Beloved and I spent most of yesterday just slobbing around. It was

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Payday! And other reasons to be happy...

I have a giant Toblerone and undaunted enthusiasm. The sugar has done things to me and because this happened, I went and made this happen.

Yeah. SPG has a reddit forum and I am a hopeless little weeabot.

That, and I love libariproject's art to infitessimal pieces.

I shall be securing noms, today. Cheap noms, of course. Because budgets are a thing. One more payday and I can consider actually buying culch, beads, and whatnot from AliExpress. And then I can

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Another party survived

This time, I went to a family gathering and did not get slammed on. Yay. All the major players in the Nutter-slamming contest were busy with other things. I'm sure the present helped :D

I also ate way too much chocolate for my own good. That said, there's three states of chocolate: Not enough chocolate, enough chocolate, and tomorrow's chocolate.

There's no such thing as too much chocolate.

There might be such a thing as too much driving. Beloved had intestinal problems,

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Challenge #01169-C074: Frisk Saves

http://qin-ying.tumblr.com/post/139356004059

Frisk, the oblivious senpai - Gallifreya

It was a joke, of sorts, amongst the students of New New Home Comprehensive School[1]. Frisk saves... and resets to make sure things turn out all right.

But as the only Ambassador amongst the integrated students... the joke turned out to be accurate. Sometimes, chillingly so.

Human kids, allegedly present to foster a sense of belonging and understanding, tended to be horribly cruel to the monster kids at the

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Yesterday and today.

Yesterday was April 1 here, and I forgot to post anything remotely hilarious. Today would have been Da's birthday... and I miss him. But I also want to have a little fun... because some of the stuff coming out of Tumblr right now is the sort of thing he might have appreciated.

I know I'm going to offend MeMum [srsly, Mum... don't look at my Tumblr today. You'll get cross] but I just feel like I should do what I'm doing.

I

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Challenge #01168-C073: One Fine Summer Afternoon in a Monster's Backyard

http://wilyart.tumblr.com/post/139390900075

Bathtime with the blasters -- Gallifreya

[AN: There are so many headcannons wandering around Tumblr about the Gaster Blasters (Spoilers: They are only seen in the No Mercy run when you fight Sans) but the core of this one is that Papyrus can summon Blasters, but they're cat skulls]

There were two words that Papyrus' Blasters hated the most.

"Bath time!"

And, as summonable creatures, there was little they could do about it. Not that they

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