Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01271-C176: Freedom Comes From Within

Today's challenge is to write in E-Prime - no use of "to be" or any conjugations or variations thereof in any language. -- Gallifreya

Shopping for Himself had become a challenge. He had a new diet for all the change he wanted to happen in his body. His lovely body. Carla could barely remember the time long gone when she loved the sight of it.

Her second trip to the shops contained the buying. The first had to contain the pricing. Exact change jingled in her pocket. Heaven forfend that she drop so much as one coin on her way from home to here. He would turn her purple from head to toe if she failed him.

A poster near the Gainz powder caught her attention. It held a list in black and white. A list of things that abusers did. A checklist of things that Himself did to her. And one little picture of a circle of words.

Himself would not stop. Himself would just keep going in the way he meant to continue. Loving him enough would have no effect, because Himself redefined the meaning of love whenever he pleased.

And he got angry when he said he sensed its lack.

And at the bottom of the poster, four words. Why do you stay?

Why did she stay? Himself would be angry, but when she thought about it, Himself had hardly ever achieved happiness. Himself had two states, angry and sorry.

She had fifty dollars and forty-five cents in her pockets. She could probably go far away from here and be safe from his wrath before he noticed. But he would no longer make her purple. And she would not find her life again.

Carla walked out of the shop, buying nothing. Her knees trembled as she stepped onto the bus and asked in a quavering voice, "How much to get to the furthest point from here?"

The driver looked her over. She saw the thin summer dress in the cold spring morning, and no jumper, sweater or hoodie. She saw the bare, blistered feet. She saw the hair worn long and unstyled. And she saw the faded bruises from the last time Himself got mad."

"For you, honey," she said, "The trip will cost nothing. You stay on. I'll get you safe."

The least logical thing about her ride, Carla found, happened in the tears that insisted on pouring out of her. She thought she had no tears left.

(Muse food remaining: 18. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Last day here

I have to pack, but at least I won't be packing as obsessively as I did in the days leading up to my trip out.

All I need to do is make sure I come back with all the stuff I intend to bring back.

And figure out how I'm going to haul all my shit home and the little darlings. Footwells will be my saviour, I am sure.

Also, I have to extract a prodigious amount of rubbish out of the

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Challenge #01270-C175: Magnificent Man Returns

The glory days when superhero du jour would nick into the nearest phone booth. It's all cell/mobiles today and most of them are smart phones. -- Knitnan

[AN: It was mostly Superman who did that, and now they just bullshit it away with changing so fast that nobody notices anything]

Nobody had seen Magnificent Man since the early eighties, when the Time Tripper had tricked him into consuming one of his Magic Mushroom Pies. Magnificent Man had vanished without a trace.

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It's a day of rest

So of course I woke up in the wee small with heebie-jeebie nightmares. I actually dreamed that Mayhem got so good at calligraphy, that he was being investigated for forging money(!).

And our dollarydoos aren't that easy to forge. Seriously. They're plastic. You can't just fake it with the right kind of paper. And the era of hand-forging is... like... in the 1870's ffs.

Then I got upset about a Fandom thing [Steam Powered Giraffe are moving on with their Malfunction video,

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Challenge #01269-C174: One Heart-Pounding Speech Somewhere in the Southern States

**If you do have to put up with someone waffling on try knitting where they can see you. The "Click" drives them nuts. Pick a person who deserves this, have fun. -- Anon Guest

[AN - any resemblance between the characters in today's story and real political people are purely co-incidental. Stop looking at me like that]

Don Alkrump loved to play to the front row. Veterans and patriots, all of them. They knew what this country needed and it was him

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Things I have to figure out

Since it is a bit of a haul to my friend's place in Tullagawoopwoop, and there is a little bit of a dire situation with some supplies...

I really need to figure out how to mail someone a meat tray.

My first thoughts are: Freeze it solid, wrap in foil, place in cold bag, and overnight that sucker to my friend. If they and I work out a really good system, the empty cold bags would also come back by much slower

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Challenge #01268-C173: Don't Make Her Angry

Sara Louise Adrian gate-crashes group of wanna-be Queen Bees. Chaos ensues. Sara can be any age.-- KnitNan

Dangerous things happened when Sara got bored. At the moment, according to her mother, she was 'between schools' and 'trying to find her place in life'.

She could hear them from the top of the stairs. All that ego and no real audience. The younger voices thought that they were the absolute best that humanity had to offer. And her mother was agreeing with

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Urgh Blurgh

Turns out my friend did put the cheesecake away. But the rest of it...

No rational explanation.

The pie plate was plastic. It could not have made an aluminium pie plate noise, no matter how hard it tried.

And the shadow of someone or something that wasn't there... it still creeps me out. Not in a bad way, of course. More like, "Whoah, that was weird."

And -hey- this is one of the few things I can't exactly explain, and everyone needs

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Challenge #01267-C172: Nothing to See Here

Your challenge today is to write your entire oneshot without using the word "the" -- Gallifreya

[AN: and one of my favourite words, too]

They never came to Barabindaru, a tiny little town that used to have its glory days in years of steam, when coal and water were vital to moving. They did not settle in Farmer Tarlee's paddock and wander around for up to half an hour before Kid Tarlee paddled over to have a chat.

There was some extended

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There's something happening here

What is is, ain't exactly clear...

Those are the first words in Buffalo Springfield's For What it's Worth, and now that I have that song in my head, I think they apply.

Couple of "funny" occurrences that I can't chalk up to reality happened in the night. The first was at 3:30 AM, my usual time for waking up in the Wee Small.

There was a noise like an aluminium pie plate wobbling about. First thought: Oh, the cat found the

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Challenge #01266-C171: He's Just a Softie, Really

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/145552354602/iamacutetiger-cosmictuesdays-pilgrimkitty

Captain Steve and his horgler -- Anon Guest

Humans will pet anything. It is a fact as true as their renowned insanity. They get reward through tactile contact and it is part of their pack-bonding process. Almost nothing, short of losing their arm on contact, will stop them.

The only thing that has stopped them in the past is knowledge of the frailty of the thing they wish to touch.

Humans stopped by planetary station

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Awake, yet still tired.

Gotta love sleep issues. And by "love", I mean "strangle slowly to death and then cut their throat after poisoning them, before cutting them into tiny pieces and setting them on fire."

I was on a long-ass road trip. I am still bloody tired after getting a good night's sleep. After the third time of waking up without any good reason, I checked the time and... 5:30 AM.

I didn't need Rabbit wishing everyone an annoying Good Morning to wake up.

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Challenge #01265-C170: Old Friends

When you were much younger there was a book, a show, a series that was Magic! You loved it, it lit up your life. Years later you find it again and the magic has gone and it's bland. But if you're lucky, you find it again. Sit down and re-visit and the Magic is still there. -- Knitnan

"I found it! It wasn't a dream!"

Uh oh... Mel sighed. "Let me guess. This is the thing you used to love once upon

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Here I go, here I go, here I go...

Today's the day. I'm doing it. I'm about to embark on the longest drive that I have EVER been a pilot of. And I have to do it again on the way back.

I have caffeine. I have nibblies. I have hydrogen dioxide ;) I have most of my stuff lined up and ready to go. I have comfy clothes and my bag is packed.

I just gotta have breakfast and make sure I pack the sandwiches.

Shaturday Specials will not be uploading

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Challenge #01264-C169: Magic, and Dragons, and Watchmen -- Oh My!

Prompt:

The Doctor gets blipped to Ankh-Morpork. You must include all three of the title refs in the story. -- Anon Guest

Sam Vimes didn't trust the things that people normally thought of as trustworthy. He knew damn well that Von Lipwig, up at the Post Office, was a liar and a thief. But he had an honest face and a ready smile and a firm handshake... because that was what people trusted.

And then there was this fellow. He dressed like

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