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Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #01233-C138: Offensive Material

Last "Satan Reacts" for now: http://www.rawstory.com/2014/09/bible-pushing-christians-open-the-door-for-satanic-activity-books-in-florida-schools/ (pdf of the book here. I encourage you to look at it. If that's down, most of the pages are shown in this news article. Please take note of the words in the jumble and word search, and then consider Satan) -- RecklessPrudence

Obviously, the scene was staged. Whoever did the staging wanted it to seem like the local chapter of LaVeyan Satanists had done the deed. They had littered the landscape with satanic material from that church... but had neglected to crack open the covers.

Lucifer had to chuckle. They'd used lots of material aimed at children. Sure, they'd dressed up the covers a bit. And one particularly evil-looking tome was one hundred copies of a big bumper fun book for very little kiddies. He paged through the issue with the least amount of blood on it. Giggling.

Chloe Decker rolled her eyes at him and growled under her breath. "Must you?" she sighed.

"Oh I wouldn't worry. They used stage blood on this one. It's all about the smell." flip, flip, flip. "You know what bothers me most about the LaVeyan Satanists?"

"Other than that they're not really Satanists?"

"They're doing good things in my name. It's not fair. They say they're spending their lives in my service and then they end up going to my Father. They're doing more for tolerance, patience, peace, love, and mung beans than any of his followers..." he sighed and closed the tome. "The only plus side is that it must also be annoying Him at the same time."

All this earned him was her typical look of exasperated disbelief. "Really," she deadpanned.

Lucifer surrendered at this point, and ferried one of the alleged tomes of evil to a CSI documenting evidence. "I'm particularly taken with the colouring-in panel on page thirty-five. And as for the covers, it's amazing what you can do with the right materials. I'd be looking for someone with some experience in stagecrafts. Ameteur dramatics, cosplay, prop manufacture... that sort of thing. Oh, and someone not fond of doing their homework."

The techie taking photos flipped the book open and found nothing associated with the more traditional satanic rituals. "They only gave Cerberus one head..."

"See?" said Lucifer. "Nobody does their homework any more."

(Muse food remaining: 25. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Winter has hit

I know it's not officially winter yet, but you can't fool my bod. All the signs are here. It's dark in the morning. The incidences of Lurgi are increasing. I need a jumper and a huge box of tissues in the morning... and the heater is staying on without anyone wanting to turn it off.

It's very hard to get out of bed in the AM.

I've removed the non-helpful insole from my boots, and that has been very helpful in getting

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Challenge #01232-C137: A Strange Visitor

"What could be worse than a sixty Minutes News van waiting on the footpath?"

"How about a large Blue box, and people are taking selfies." -- Anon Guest

Carol looked out the other window in her tiny flat. The view was blurry, because it was the bathroom window, but there was, indeed, a familiar shape in the street. Either the BBC had deigned to acknowledge Australia as a filming location... or someone was playing silly buggers.

She texted the other top five

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URGH

You ever have one of those days where everything and everyone seems to be conspiring against you to make sure every last one of your plans fucks up? Even the very elements of nature seem to be against you.

That's been my entire week.

The beads I thought were fine - aren't. If I want to pump out earrings at any speed, I have to delay by making my own pins out of the aforementioned scary thin wire. Which means I have

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Challenge #01231-C136: Humorous Revelation

Human's reaction on realising they share a vessel with Captain K'rik, Doctor M'koi, and Ensign Ch'koff (is there a Lieutenant Spukk too?) -- Gallifreya

[AN: I had been wondering when someone would clue in. And for the record, Jain holds the position of Spock]

If there was one stereotypical behaviour that belonged to humans - besides their suicidal combination of curiosity and insanity - it would have to be their love of gadgets.

Doctor M'Koi watched with growing skepticism as the human

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SNAFU^2

Turns out that a shockingly large number of my seed beads don't fit on a standard pin. This is something of a major flaw in beads, generally. If they don't fit onto the findings - what the fuck are you supposed to do?

It would cost me more to send them back, so my plan is - use what I can and get beads from a different mob when I run out of useful ones.

Also - find a profitable use for

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Challenge #01230-C135: So This is How I Die

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/143039331394/memeufacturing-human-after-being-stabbed-four -- Gallifreya

There are games the mind plays in extremis. One of its favourites is Hallucinations. But when the imagination is lacking or the mind is sufficiently aware of reality, the mind defaults to Good News, Bad News.

Good News, there is still air.

Bad News, it is filling with smoke.

Good News, there is still gravity.

Bad News, I am on my back.

Q'riikix, known to the humans in the crew as "Queasy", rattled

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::inchoate groan::

There is not enough coffee in my house to help me deal with today. There may not be enough coffee in the shops to help me deal with today. The world... might have enough coffee to help me deal with today.

Why?

Because I firkin woke up at midnight and had spotty sleep thereafter. Which does not do a damn thing to assist in my feelings towards peace, love, or your average mung bean.

That on top of the trip there and

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Challenge #01229-C134: One Random Encounter Inside Walter Manor.

Sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Sufficiently analyzed magic is indistinguishable from technology.

... and then there's that thing in the corner. -- Anon Guest

"Bonjour," said the thing. It seemed cheerful enough. It seemed human enough, provided that one was sufficiently myopic and without their glasses. It's heart was definitely not in the right place, given that it was both outside its clothing and sparkling with its own inner lights.

"What is it doing here?" said Lorraine. The Walter Worker assigned

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No business today

Chaos is due to seek help in Maroochydore again. And it's one heck of a long-ass trip there and back. The sooner that the nearer clinic has help for her, the better.

The metallic sharpies have a nib width that's too wide for legible printing, so Beloved and I went on an emergency run to Officeworks by way of Spotlight for something a little narrower. So now we won a double brace of metallic gel pens that are, quite frankly, made of

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Challenge #01228-C133: "Again"?

"I hate to be 'that guy' but I've glued myself to the ceiling again..." -- Gallifreya

There is a place for everyone in the UFTP stellar fleet! All volunteers for the stellar services are tested for their strengths and places where they can perform at their best! Join today! -- UFTP Stellar Fleet recruitment flier.

Second Technician Kevin Maladroit checked the maintenence schedule before he got out of bed. Slow day. Which meant it was a bad one. The crew of the

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The struggle continues...

It takes longer to twist a piece of wire into being a pin than it does to measure the firkin thing. I have proof.

[Shown here: two rectangular takeout boxes, one with bits of cut wire in it, and the other with wires bent to serve as pins]

That's three hours' work. With extra swearing at the pliers I have because the spring is firkin dodgy. I have to press it back into place between pins or suffer the consequences.

The first

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Challenge #01227-C132: No Way Out

:From a former loose cannon/maverick's inner monologue:

But they were in a position of authority now, and for some reason that meant they didn't get to have their way anymore. -- Recklessprudence

Blaize Hartley hadn't meant to become a hero. It just sort of happened that way. She leaped in where angels would fear to hear about and winged it from there. She had an extreme knack for getting herself both into and out of the most ridiculous of pickles.

Including

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Fears Allaid!

I was worried that the gold wire I have would be too weak to support the usual wear and tear on earrings. As it turns out, even though it's scary thin and scary flexible, it's also scary strong. It's not going to bend, warp or mutilate those beads off of itself in a hurry.

I am going to have to warn my customers that the strands may bend easily, and give them instructions on how to fix that if they're bothered.

Turning

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Challenge #01225-C130: Monster in my Room

1) http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/142984148989/hot-bunns-3-am-thoughts

2) Branching off the above prompt - Pick a fandom and set one character as the monster under the bed/in the wardrobe --Gallifreya

1)

Every child gets a monster. An ancient contract, written in blood. Paid in teeth. They stay until the child is strong enough to care for themselves.

Some... never leave.

They are the monsters for the people who are particularly vulnerable. The people with one foot each in two

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