InterNutter

Challenge #01954-E130: Surrogacy of the Beast

Are you mad?! You realize you basically just made a deal with the devil, right? Literally!” “Ah, you weren’t paying close enough attention. I did not just make a deal with the devil... No, in fact, the Devil just made a deal with me.” -- Anon Guest

"Now. Mister... Scratch," said the lawyer. "I understand that you wish this particular event to proceed, but my client wishes to have some... guarantees."

Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies, Angel of Lies, the Fallen, Monarch of Hell, Lucifer, or, as he was currently known, Old Scratch, templed his fingers and said, "A deal is a deal."

"Under false pretenses," said the lawyer. "My client had no idea that they would be giving birth to the antichrist."

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Lurgi, Wheezing, and Other Noise

Lurgi: The seasonal sniffles of the It's-Going-Around have definitely hit, if my crunchy eyes are any indicator. Still living on Shamdy and hoping for the best and peeing like a champion.

Wheezing: The curse of the season has bit me on the arse and I actually horked up a small bronchial cast this morning. Gasp. The bad news is, I swear I had some atrovent nebules somewhere and I can no longer remember where the hell I left the fuckers. They have

Challenge #01953-E129: Lost in a Hellscape

A couple who have no recollection of how they got there find themselves in a lethally dangerous environment where every creature and several of the plants seem to be trying to kill them. Being religious, they realize they are lost souls and this must be hell.

Then the search party finds them. They were vacationing in Australia and had wandered off after someone gave them roofies.

But what happened in between that would make and amnesiac tourist decide that they were just

Post-indulgence Regret

Broke keto for Pripa's day. And there was cheesecake. And fudge. And ice cream...

So I woke in the morrow with Sausage Fingers. Because retaining water is one of the things my body does when it gets carbs. Other signs of carb overdose include lack of focus, memory problems, and general fluffiness of head.

So this is going to be brief.

So that I can get on with the whatnot of my shit.

I have discovered that a dearth of potassium can

Challenge #01952-E128: Transformative Love

Fan fiction, some of it heartbreakingly brilliant, some of it so badly written you wonder if they ever even saw the original series. But glued to their devices they tap out their allegiance to people or beings who are imaginary. -- Anon Guest

The Archive of Transformative Works is a subset of the Archivaas Conglomerate. Those who strive to preserve everything humanity or intelligent life has created. Even the worst that a barely creative mind has to offer. It is oppressively huge.

Merry Pripa's Day

To all those Primary Parentals who stay up late, wake up early, sit through sickness, and fret about the health of your little darlings... Grats.

You made it another year without throttling the little shits. Through angst, anguish, frustration, and fear. You made it. And some of them might actually be grateful for the effort.

I'm awake at Awful in the morning because of the so unfabulous combo of Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season plus low pressure system plus what feels like an

Challenge #01951-E127: Posthumous Communication

Sandwiched between cardboard, or up-market leather they colour our lives, change the way we see the world, and of course they never age. Sherlock Holmes, Robin Hood, James Bond, Mr Darcy, Alice, Tom Sawyer. -- Anon Guest

"And then there's the curious incident of the dog in the night-time," Alpex read out loud. Like all new readers, the reading was painful and slow and almost monotonous. Ze stopped. "You do know this method of information sharing is the one least likely to

Sneezin', Wheezin' and CYCLONE Season

If there's anything worse than Sneezin' and Wheezin' Season, it's that plus fucking Low Pressure Systems making my face firkin hurt.

Today's episode of Fuck My Life began at half-past one in the morning and only abated because I finally got to the Ibuprofen plus Acetaminophen at 8ish. For Australians: Neurofen and Panadol. For the Americans: Nurofen and Tylenol.

I don't know any other nation's brands. Fill me in. I love to learn things.

So yeah. Spotty sleep. Painful face. An air

Challenge #01950-E126: What is Life and What is Real

They are quite real to us these lines coloured in sometimes, they've been with us since we first met them, and they seem 'real'. Comics, graphic novels, the funny pages. -- Knitnan

They were just shapes on a page. They should very clearly not be so impactful. They were the written word. They were pictorial representations of impossible things. They were imagination. They weren't real. And yet...

There he was. Hiding away from the world because these particular shapes on a page

Aah, Friday

A busier Friday than normal, but still... a relative day of rest for this nerd.

But it's also a cleaning day, so that means I'm working a lot more than normal. Usually, on a Friday, it's all relaxed despite having a thousand words to generate and a son to fetch from Banyo.

Today? I'm not so sure.

I have to make a phone call to talk to some people about getting Mayhem's phone fixed so that it's not a brick any more.

Challenge #01949-E125: Naked Without it

Pointy hats! There are the black, with a brim witch's model, the sparkly and starred wizard or wizzard's, the upside down ice cream cone with a floaty veil princess model and the plain paper cone with a big "D" for dunce. -- Knitnan

[AN: I don't think the D-cap existed outside of the Victorian Era]

You couldn't deny he was a wizard. The hat was a huge give-away. It made his full, wizarding height two feet taller and he changed it in

BBC SOP - FEFO

For those amongst the acronym challenged - BBC stands for the British Broadcasting Company. The public television since whenever.

SOP is Standard Operating Procedure. For instance, the standard operating procedure for politics is lie, cheat, and rack off with a golden parachute.

FEFO is new. It's something Beloved and I coined after absorbing a couple of episodes of a new thing from the BBC. It stands for this:

Four Episodes, Fuck Off

We've seen a lot of this with high-quality BBC products.

Challenge #01948-E124: Who's a Good Dog?

In the land of magic, Death frequently has problems with pets that absolutely refuse to stay dead. -- Anon Guest

In all of creation, there is nothing more loyal than a good dog. Though it was widely agreed that Kerby was one of the truly daft ones. He was a rescue dog, and had some kind of skin infection that made him look dead. Dan, who had picked him up with a shovel as part of his job, got the fright of

Well, Fuck

Okay. Here's the situation.

Cocoa contains carbs and I need to figure out the content of one button to keep my hot chocolates ketogenic
Mayhem has a conference with his guidance counsellor and I discuss his grades
I need new windshield wipers
Time is growing ever closer to the release of a better Apple Lappy for my first actual Earned Laptop
All my funds are tied up in other shit
Including Mayhem's traineeship [$2K]
And paying for my car rego [$600+]
My

Challenge #01947-E123: Loose End Tied

"Never, ever empty this person's pockets again!" referencing Harpo Marx, Sergeant Constantine Bothari, and any JOAT! -- Anon Guest

Okay, now I've fucked up, thought Taako, transmutation wizard extraordinaire. Crew-member of the Starblaster. Multi-dimensional traveller. One of the Seven Birds of Prophecy. Member of the B.O.B. Best chef in all of Faerûn. Oh, and main squeeze of the Grim fucking Reaper. This thought came, of course, at half-consciousness as the not-so-stupid guards dragged him to the throne room of the

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Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Challenge #01954-E130: Surrogacy of the Beast

Lurgi, Wheezing, and Other Noise

Challenge #01953-E129: Lost in a Hellscape

Post-indulgence Regret

Challenge #01952-E128: Transformative Love

Merry Pripa's Day

Challenge #01951-E127: Posthumous Communication

Sneezin', Wheezin' and CYCLONE Season

Challenge #01950-E126: What is Life and What is Real

Aah, Friday

Challenge #01949-E125: Naked Without it

BBC SOP - FEFO

Four Episodes, Fuck Off

Challenge #01948-E124: Who's a Good Dog?

Well, Fuck

Challenge #01947-E123: Loose End Tied