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Unlikely Heroes

A 163-post collection

Challenge #02866-G309: Turn Around Twice And...

A: please help me

B: ok ok hold up a minute

A: there is not time! Please hurry

B: give a me a sec

A: now it-

B: I NEED PANTS GODDAMIT -- Anon Guest

[AN: Aw man, if that isn't a cue for Early Days Marvin, then I don't know what is. Start blasting Let's See How Far We've Come out there, folks]

There's a time for multiple disasters and it's always when they're least wanted. Anthe was more or less balanced on a hairpin, metaphorically speaking, whilst picking a lock, in a room full of traps activated by sound. One wrong move and it would take a lot of luck to get out of it with health remaining.

It was the worst time to hear a trembling query from her brand new son. "Lady Anthe? Can you help me please?" The voice of Marvin, thank the gods, was barely above a whisper.

"I'll be right there, I just need a few more minutes." One to unlock the hatch. Another to disable the mechanism that blocked their way out. Possibly a third to deal with the nightingale floor, just in case. It had taken her a lot of luck just to get to this point. It would take a lot of luck to get through this.

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Challenge #02854-G297: Here's One We Made Earlier

They had left Marvin with the village he had saved through the adventure he'd done on his own. As much as it hurt Anthe to do so, and even Wraithvine felt a tugging in his heart, they knew it was the best thing for him. That village needed the young man, and he needed his home there. Him and his new wife. He'd met her when she'd joined him, Wraithvine and Anthe while they were adventuring together.

Then a message came as

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Challenge #02788-G231: A Pearl in the Mire

That moment where one goes to soothe a fussy baby and finds a surprise handful of bare bottom. -- Someone's Mum

[AN: Worse is a handful of messy bottom. Been there, done that, had to disinfect all on sundry for an entire hour]

Long before Wraithvine met Thief, later renamed as Chrysanthemum and Anthe for short, Wraithvine stole a baby. Technically. It's not theft if the article in question has already been thrown away.

The child in question was a paradox in

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Challenge #02650-G093: Graduation Epiphany

https://alligator-sunglasses.com/post/40203065345/hobbes-winnie

"Even when it makes you feel lost and confused; every good soldier, officer, teacher, or parent dreams of seeing the day they aren't needed anymore." -- SilverRey

Every little bird flies from its nest. -- Elven saying.

Marvin hadn't noticed when Lady Anthe and Wraithvine left. They didn't bid him a farewell. He had just been busy with Steelfoot and improving the lives of the people in Lower Petraine. Marvin realised they were gone when he

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Challenge #02641-G084: A Significant Choice

I don’t really drink alcoholic beverages, mostly because I don't know what kind of drunk I am. I’m not willing to find out based off my parents, let’s just say alcohol was the reason why I was born. -- Anon Guest

"Small ale," said Lady Anthe.

"Rivenmont wine," said Wraithvine.

"I'll have a young cider," said Marvin.

Elf and Kobold alike looked to their Human compatriot. "Er," said Lady Anthe. "You remember you're of age now, yes?"

Wraithvine added,

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Challenge #02633-G076: For Best Results

you were hired by the local baron to hunt a beast in the forest of veils. you armed yourself with the proper tools and weapons, gather information from the locals about the beast, that when you came across new information from a witch that guard the forest. when you learn the witch location you bolted there. the witch wasn't hostile, friendly even. the witch didn't tell you much, most of it you already know. although there are things that not even the

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Challenge #02632-G075: An Interesting Truce

A rumor is heard of a palace where monsters were holding hundreds of kobolds as slaves. A large castle filled with treasure, all the kobolds that were seen going in and out wearing a silver, blue, and gold woven neckbands. Almost all the doors to the various servant areas were sized for the kobolds as well. Along the road outside the castle, the graves of failed raiders where, instead of gravestones, their skulls still sat upon the spikes where the heads once

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Challenge #02607-G050: This is MY Baby

The most dangerous place in the whole world is between mother and child.

A: She's not even a human!

B: You can take this child from my cold, dead hands. Don't worry, little one, I will not let them near you. -- Anon Guest

There are indisputable, largely unwritten, laws of the universe. Some of them are common sense like, Do not drink water that smells bad. Some are a little more specific like, Never eat the food at a place called

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Challenge #02559-G002: Needing a Hand

His name was Marvin. He traveled with a band of friends on various adventures. But his life had not been quite this pleasant before he met them. Abused, mistreated, made to feel stupid, even when he was with the gang, people he thought were his friends, it had been misery. Now, with the wizard, the kobold, and the others, he actually had a chance. But, on quiet nights like this, as they had set up camp and he was not on watch,

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Challenge #02499-F309: A Different Key

I have a highly adaptive tendency to assume that the people around me know better than I do. -- Anon Guest

Anthe had spotted the weakest link. It was hard to avoid, really. A beefy boy not nearly yet a man, perhaps twice the size he should be and clumsy with it. His tasks were always the ones with heavy lifting. Take things in, take things out. Take things up, take things down... and always, always, take the blame. They called him

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Challenge #02490-F300: Lich, Please

“So let me get this straight. We’re here to rescue a princess.”

“That’s right.”

“At the request of a princess.”

“Right again.”

“And you, who will be leading the expedition, are also a princess.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How big is your royal family, again?“

“We don’t have one.”

“But–“

“We overthrew our monarchy centuries ago, but we kept most of the titles around. The rank of ‘princess’ is held by the directors in charge of various civil service

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Challenge #02457-F267: One Link

I am not determined to be incompetent. I just want to feel safe. -- Anon Guest

Marvin nursed his arm, which he was told was only a sprain. He could only see out of one eye because his friends and allies in the Malitovs had given him one heck of a shiner for mucking up the capture of the wizard and their pet Kobold. Now, to prove his worth to his gang, he had to guard them. The wizard was bound and

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Challenge #02439-F249: All Perfectly Reasonable

Just because I have demonic powers doesn’t mean that I’m a bad guy, and I have valid reason murdering 36 people. -- Anon Guest

"Was it the voices?" said Lady Anthe.

The Warlock smiled. "You mock me, but you can't understand. Ardnassac can remember the future, so he bids me to alter it for a better world. There's so much disaster that each and every one of those people could have caused. Averted now." A smile that was so deep

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Challenge #02408-F218: To Prevent Apocalypse...

(Someone complaining about why the gods didn't handle [Sealed Evil in a Can (horror from beyond reality flavour!)] earlier)

[Person who has more insight into how the gods work than others]: It's probably a combination of [god in important relevant position who got the job because all the other gods eligible for it, including the one(s) doing it who knew HOW to do it, died fighting OTHER horrors from beyond reality literal aeons ago] not knowing how to do their job,

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Challenge #02398-F208: Choose the Light

"You have a darkness in you."

"Yes, we all do, along with God's light. It's what makes us the same. What makes us different is what we choose to follow." -- Anon Guest

"What?" said the Kobold who, at this point in her journey, didn't think herself worthy of a name. She would, in time, become known as Lady Anthe, but that time is not now. She is learning, and these are earlier, more painful days.

Wraithvine took a calming breath. They

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